My Kung Fu Is Greater Than Yours

Well the weekend is over.

But tommorow could potentially be cool, well at least as cool as a Monday at work can be. Why? Well for one thing I'm Tonight Show CB, and I get to meet Hurley (aka the really large dude) from LOST! Should I ask him what the secret of the mystery numbers is? Or go for the big one - ask him what the deal is with the island? No way, I don't want it spoiled. But still, Jorge Garcia, the actor's name, seems like a cool, funny guy so that should be prett sweet. Also Wanda Sykes is on. If you had asked me a few weeks ago, I would have said I couldn't care less about Wanda Sykes. But recently I've seen a few hilarious episodes of Curb Your Enthusiasm with her in tremendous comedic roles, as herself, and now I am kinda excited to meet her as well. Reason number dos why tommorow is a tad bit exciting is that six count 'em six new pages are starting at NBC. Will they be cool? Assholes? Who knows. But still, always nice to get some fresh faces.

Of course, tommorow is also a brand spankin' new 24, so hey, maybe Mondays aren't THAT bad? Hmmm ...

Saw KUNG FU HUSTLE this weekend, so on with the quick review:

KUNG FU HUSTLE:
Well that was weird. Too weird, even for me. Basically, this movie was like Crouching Tiger mixed with Yojimbo mixed with the Looney Tunes. It really was like an old school Warner Bros. cartoon brought to life, mixed with some crazy kung fu fightin'. The fight scenes were pretty darn awesome for the most part, and very inventive. Highlights included a crazy battle scene where three kung fu masters face off against a deadly pair of assasins who use musical instruments as weapons, producing deadly sound waves that materialize as daggers; and a final fight where the main hero, equipped with some insane moves, fights a guy who literally looks and fights as if he were a frog. Weird. I must say though that the plot and characters, though obviously meant to be goofy, were just so out there sometimes to the point where the absurdity was too much to handle. Definitely worth seeing, but don't go in expecting a visual and artistic masterpiece along the lines of Hero. This is more like a martial arts Road Runner cartoon, which while cool in its own way, is a very strange hybrid - one which doesn't always work to its fullest potential, and which keeps it from achieving the same rank as other recent martial arts imports like Crouching Riger, Hero, and even the little-seen but kickass Iron Monkey. My grade: B

FOX SUNDAY NIGHT REVIEW:
So FOX unveiled its new lineup tonight, and it was bittersweet. Family Guy, finally, is back, but it takes the place of a show that really deserved more of a chance, Arrested Development. The good news is that Family Guy was really funny - not as good as the earlier, better seasons of the show, but still funnier than the mediocre Simpsons episodes that ran tonight. On that note, tonight's anniversery Simpsons eps really were hard to watch at times. The second one especially, other than a weirdly funny scene of Homer singing "99 Luft Balloons", was mostly just painfully bland. The first one with guest Ray Romano was slightly better, but still, not that great. The amount of plot elements that have been recycled on a regular basis were very conspicuous tonight (Homer feeling alone, getting kicked out, finding a new bar, making new friends, the family being short on cash, etc.). The episodes that have been succesful this year have tried new things (see the Selma adopting a kid in China ep as one of the highlights), but these eps seemed to throw away any small progress that has been made this year. Come on guys, get it together. King of the Hill tonight was only decent, as the Nancy character is too unlikable to carry a whole episode. We need more Bobby-centered episodes! Malcolm in the Middle (thankfully NOT animated as teased in FOX's promos) was the highlight of the night, though definitely not one of the best episodes of the season - it was too cartoony (I guess fitting in with the whole "animation domination" thing), even for Malcolm, though the "secret stash" subplot was great. Then there was American Dad, which I'm sorry to say was still pretty bad coming off of the post-Superbowl pilot, which outright sucked. This show is a one-note joke that is not really that funny - the dad is a right-wing nutball who is out of the 1950's or something. Sorry, not funny. A similar premise works very well on King of the Hill because Hank Hill is in reality a very 3-dimensional and well rounded and fully realized character, and the show is more realistic and less out-there. American Dad's premise gets old and tired after FIFTEEN MINUTES OF ONE EPISODE, let alone multiple episodes. Come on FOX, get rid of this and give Arrested D some respect. Or bring back Futurama, a show that was also cancelled prematurely and is a CLASSIC of animation. Overall a mostly disappointing start to FOX's new lineup.

- My grades: King of the Hill: B-, Malcolm: B, Simpsons 1: C+, Simpsons 2: D+, Family Guy: B+, American Dad: F.

NBA:

- Come on Pacers. After a terrible, utterly pathetic loss on Saturday, tommorow's game is a MUST WIN. But after this weekend's debacle, I am seriously doubting the Pacers' ability as a team. Unless Miller or O'Neal has a monster game, their lack of depth or inside presence means they are screwed, if not in this round then in the next.

- So long Memphis and New Jersey. From the looks of the two sweeps this weekend, it looks like the Suns and Heat could be on a collision course for the Finals. And seriously, how good is Dwayne Wade? And how about UCONN alum Ray Allen tonight? Whatta game.

- Please ESPN, get new commentators. If I hear "Dr." Jack Ramsay refer to his broadcasting partner by name at the end of each sentance again ("ya know what, JD," "Exactly right, JD"), I'm gonna scream.

Well, Passover is over and it's time to bring back the bread. Nice, now I can get back to my frozen Lean Cousine's. Anybody want to cook for me?

Things to look forward to: Friday - BECK performs on the Tonight Show.

Alright, these new pages had better be good.