The stage was set.
Mondays are rarely fun, but last night one thing was running through my head for much of the day - that night, that night would be a good one, because 24 was on, and it was going to go out with a bang. Literally.
I returned home from work, promptly ordered pizzas from Dominos (and yes, the obligatory side of Cinnastix), and turned on the Dallas-San Antonio Game 7 as the adrenaline began to flow. Brian soon arrived, as did the pizzas, and two hungry men made quick work of their food. But wait! The Dallas game was close, nail-biting, a thriller - headed for a last-second showdown. One for the ages. Out of nowhere a player named Diop was making an impact, and could DALLAS ACTUALLY WIN?!?! Could they dethrone the Spurs and become annointed new kings of the West?
OT!
And 8 pm is quickly approaching ...
The OT runs down, Dallas seems to be taking a tangible lead, but who knows, this IS the Spurs we're talking about. There's the 24 clock, be advised of GRAPHIC VIOLENCE. Hells yes. But the game ...? Too bad, can't switch now, I'm over the edge, it's 24, baby, ONE LAST TIME.
As me and Brian sit back and watch a mind-bending opening to the mother of all finales, Scott finally arrives. My phone rings, it's him, trying to get into my apartment, RIGHT AS JACK AND HENDERSON ARE HAVING A STANDOFF ATOP A NUCLEAR SUB. Sorry dude, gotta wait. But in MacGuyver-esque fashion, Scott made his way up to the door and burst in just in time to witness Jack Bauer EXACT UNHOLY VENGEANCE on the Man Formerly Known as Robocop. So with the three of us firmly planted and ready for Round 2 of Pizza, and the remote control trigger finger getting a strenuous workout as it toggled between FOX and TNT's NBA coverage during those commercial breaks.
When all was said and done, I, who had almost felt ready for the season to end, was reinvigiorated and wishing that January '07 was here so that I could immediately follow the further adventures of Jack Bauer.
And as for the episode itself:
24! 24! 24!
DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN~!
A stunning finale to one kickass season of TV. The pace never let up and the moments of pure intensity and yes, GRAVITAS, were abundant. Bierko was dispatched quickly, leaving just two obstacles in the way of Jack Bauer finally getting some freaking sleep - Henderson and President Logan. The Henderson - Jack standoff was just AWESOME - showing why Jack is undoubtedly one bad mutha who is not to be trifled with. And then there was Logan. Amazing scenes between Mr. and Mrs. Logan. Awesome stuff with Aaron Pierce, and then, Jack Bauer, in a room, alone, with the PRESIDENT OF THE UNTED STATES. And gravitas ensues. Just when things looks bleakest though, Phase 2 of the PLAN comes into effect, and Jack saves the day once more. All is well, Audrey is here, awwwwww. But this is 24, so it's not over yet. One last twist. And what a cliffhanger it was, setting up things brilliantly for next year. Yeah, no happy endings for JACK. And us 24 fans wouldn't have it any other way.
Let's get to it:
- DAMN, Jack is INTENSE ... telling a kid who has yet to shave to sneak up on the terrorist guarding a sub hatch from behind, cover his mout, and slit his throat "fast, deep, and hard." Definitely an "OHHHHH DAAAMN." moment. But when Jack asks you to do something, you'd best LISTEN. Yup, you'd kill for Jack in the name of saving American lives too if it came down to it.
- And Bierko goes down with the FLYING HEAD SCISSORS OF DOOM. Yes! Jack takes a page from Famke Janson in Goldeneye and snaps some terrorist neck, lucha-libre style. JACK BAUER vs. NACHO LIBRE, STEEL CAGE MATCH. I'd buy that for a dollar.
- Wait, Robocop can't be killed with mere bullets! They'll just rebuild him - better, faster, stronger. But oh man, when Jack went "offline", you knew some serious smack was about to be layed down. "You killed Michelle Dessler, TONY F'N ALMEDA, David Palmer!" Henderson goes for the gun but there AIN'T NO BULLETS. Well played, Jack. Two bullets to the head, and Henderson is DOWN FOR THE COUNT - seriously, one of the most intense moments EVER on 24.
- And even more seriously, how freakin' kickass is PETER WELLER? I don't know where the guy's been since the 80's but I'm just glad he's back kicking ass Buckaroo Banzai style.
- Gregory Itzin is gold as Logan. Emmy, anyone? One of the best 24 villains ever. His nervous facial expressions (the eyebrow raise, the gulp, the neck twitch, the pout) are pure hilarity.
- So ... is the BLUETOOTH BRIGADE gone into the ether like so many hiding-in-the-shadows 24 masterminds before them, or is this season only the beginning of their reign of tech-geek terror?
- And wait, this has to be addressed ... this show is in REAL TIME. Always has been. Sure, it stetches the laws of space/time, but it is still, in theory, a real-time show. So, um, about the President and his wife ... she seduces him one last time in the name of buying Jack time to get onto his helicopter, and TWO MINUTES LATER the deed is done?!?!? LOL, definitely one of the funniest moments in 24 where the whole real time thing made for some interesting situations. I guess the pills only last for so long ...
But yeah, wow, that was quick. Bwahahaha.
- So ... Chloe has an ex-husband?!?! And it's ... GEORGE / MICK from La Femme Nikita?!?! So now we've had Mick, Madeline, and Operations on the show. Next season we need Michael, Walter, Birkoff, and the woman herself. NIKITA and BAUER crossover! Section One vs. CTU! Make it happen! But yeah, gotta love a show that will introduce a new, out-of-nowhere supporting character in it's SEASON FINALE.
- Speaking of CTU ... Oh Bill Buchanan, you sly old dog you. Your old flame Michelle Dessler bought it only hours ago and already you're making the moves on Karen Hayes? Want to get some breakfast? God, I'd want to get some sleep.
- Jack Bauer's unflinching BAUER STARE OF DOOM as he confronted Logan was pure GRAVITAS IN ACTION. Awesome scene - Jack's quivering hands as he contemplated killing the sitting President of the United States ... wow, now that's good TV watchin'.
- And man, once Jack was kidnapped, could things have been any more bleak? You knew there had to be more to the plan, but what? But Jack went James Bond on us and SWITCHED THE PRESIDENT'S PEN~! Microtransmitter, baby. So of course, all the crazy monologuing that went on during the CRAZY LOGAN-VS-LOGAN bitch-fight was RECORDED and sent to the Attorney General, wired to the Secret Sevice (who only moments ago were Logan's evil lackeys and partners in crime), who immediately resign themselves to the fact that Logan was EVIL and bring him into custody. Hahaha, gotta love how quickly things can happen in the world of 24.
- Aaron Pierce (AGENT OF G.R.A.V.I.T.A.S.) is a beast. That is all.
- One last tender moment for Edgar. We loved ya ya big fat bastard. But where was TONY dammit all? He's really dead? No SOUL PATCH? NOOOOOOOOOOOO! PS where was CURTIS and SECRETARY OF GRAVITAS HELLER?
- Wait, Jack, DON'T ANSWER THAT PHONE! (It's Kim? "Hey Dad, nice job saving the free world. Now can you come help me out of this cougar trap?") Gaaah, not Kim! The Chinese! The Chinese! Damn them! Holy Season-4 Continuity Batman! Is Logan pulling the stings here from beyond the proverbial grave?!?! So much for Jack's happy ending. AUDREY DID IT, SHE'S EVIL! I CALLED IT! Oh wait, nevermind. But didn't her smile look EVIL for a second there. Okay, she's upset. Jacknapping! No Kim, not even a brief Elisha Cuthbert cameo, dammit. Damn, the Chinese kicked the crap out of Jack, to the point where he is pleading with them to kill him. Ahh, it's hard to see Jack in such poor condition. And then he's suddenly on a boat to Shanghai. Jack a prisoner in a Chinese jail? A mind-controlled Jack forced to do the bidding of neo-Maoists and take down newly-installed President Hal Green Lantern Gardner? Jack secretly cloned into an army of Jack-sack-wielding super agents, aka the US government's worst nightmare? Is it January 2007 yet? Dammit! Upload to PDA. Do it! We have a situatioooooon ...!
TO BE CONTINUED. BLEEP. BLEEP. BLEEP. BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP.
So yeah, that was one hell of an episode. Awesome stuff, great TV. Kudos to all involved. Let's do it again next year.
My Grade: A
Agent Baram out.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment