Hootin' and A' Hollerin'

It is often easy to forget about Middle America. Sure, we on the coasts try to pretend they don't exist, but every so often, certain events remind us that yes, there are quite a lot of those non-coastal states, and yes, their ways are often slightly different from what we on the west or east coasts are used to. So when, for example, an election comes along, the liberal elite moans and groans about all of these bible-thumpin' people who seem to pop out of nowhere and excercise their right to vote. Today though ... today I was woken up to a phenomena that, being a Connecticut Yankee transported to Hollywood, had really passed me by. Yes, today I realized that country music fans exist, there are many of them, and they are INSANE.

I assumed as did many of my fellow nbc pages that the big draw on today's show would be Leonardo Dicaprio. But that was before I was privvy to the crazy popularity of a man by the name of Kenny Chesney. Who? Well let's just say that this guy is a country music phenomena, and the ladies freakin' love him. So basically, today was teen idol overload, and as the designated Tonight Show floorseater I spent four hours dealing with hundreds of frantic, hormonally charged women who were all in a frenzied state between fainting and shrieking at the top of their lungs. I'm telling you, it was CRAZY. The long line for the show was littered with packs of southern women who had been waiting all night to get in. They were wearing Kenny T-shirts, had Kenny Signs, and had personal gifts that they made especially for Kenny. Leonardo who? So of course these crazy women-folk decided to, um, have some fun with me and see if they could use their southern charms to try to move to the front of the line, get backstage, meet Kenny, etc. - none of which I can actually do, but yet I was bombarded with requests. By the time the line went into the studio, I had about fifty totally crazy women who were apparently on a first name basis with me, kept referring to me as their friend, and who thought it'd be fun to yell out my name everytime they saw me pass by, all the way up to the point when the show started. I wonder if Jay noticed the chaos I was being enveloped by? He definitely was amused at the, um, enthusiasm of this crowd though. The worst was after the show ended - I'm trying to help the crowd exit in an orderly fashion and suddenly I get mobs of Kenny fans coming at me and making a beeline for their country music god. So I'm yelling for people to get back, but Kenny in his great wisdom actually APPROACHES these women and SIGNS THEIR CDS's and T-SHIRTS. This of course caused mass chaos, as all the other women saw him signing stuff and RAN LIKE MAD to the stage to try to get the same from the K-man. It took three security guards and me to TRY to calm down this riot and it took a good while for things to finally settle down. And then, to top it off, as I'm leaving for my car I run into a group of women who I had talked to earlier. "Danny! Danny!" I went over and humored them, they were pretty funny after all, and hey, if they were talking to me AFTER the show then maybe they actually DID appreciate the time I took to be nice to them in line. Oh wait. "Hey, Danny, WHEN DOES KENNY COME OUT IN HIS CAR?" Oy. Seriously though, it was crazy but mostly in good fun. I got a kick of having this large group of women waving at me and thanking me as I drove away from nbc. How many jobs give you THAT kind of experience. I mean, hey, I may not ever get to be a teen idol, but at least I can kind of live vicariously through Kenny freakin' Chesney. I mean, sure, they came to see Leo and Chesney, but they left thinking dreamily about that really cool page who brought 'em to their seats. I keed, I keed. Or do I ... ?

But yeah, it is nuts what people in line for the show say to you. People have already offered me money on numerous occasions to move them to the front of the line. Sure, they are probably B.S. ing, but still it's pretty funny what people say. One woman today kept telling me how her husband was a policeman in LA, and if I let her backstage I'd never have to worry about the law again. Riiiiiiight. Nice woman though, if a little nutty.

My tour today was pretty cool actually. A bunch of high schoolers from Florida with teachers in tow, so they actually laughed at my jokes and thought it was cool when I told them how I ran into Mr. Belding the other day, and when I told them facts like how the Tonight Show couch costs $50,000, they were all like "Dude!" and "Shut-up!" (a compliment from teens). Plus they had all kinds of questions about colleges and stuff like that (many were thinking of BU), and that kind of stuff is A LOT easier to answer than obscure Days of Our Lives questions. So yeah definitely my favorite tour I've done so far.

RANDOM NOTE: No, Duran Duran does not say anything, negative or otherwise, about Jews in the song "Come Undone." I looked it up. Whoops, my bad.

Tommorow: Napoleon Dynamite, aka John Hedder (I think) is on the show! SWEET.

RANDOM THOUGHTS:

24, 24, 24: DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN. Tony Almeda (what a great character name) returns! But he didn't say his trademark monotone "yeah." Plus he got to the place to save Jack like two minutes after Jack called him. Plus he's supposed to be in jail. Oh well. Still another sweeeet episode of 24, which, I will say now, is THE BEST SHOW CURRENTLY ON TV. The only thing I'd ask for in this season is a slightly more fleshed out terrorist plot - some villains who have a little more psychology to what they are doing. But that can come in time, along with an explanation of just what Aisha Tyler's deal is and why she is apparently evil. But this season definitely is starting out with a consistency and sense of pacing that last season didnt have until the final third of its episodes.

Arrgh, so many movies I have to see. Million Dollar Baby, The Aviator, Sideways, and more! Who wants to see movies with me?

Oh yeah, comment on my blog! Even if you're just some random person reading this cuz you've got nothing better to do. Hey, I don't judge.

Ok, better bone up on my skills ... you know, numchuk skills, computer hacking skills .... and get to work on my Lyger drawings (it's pretty much my favorite animal ...), because with Napoleon Dynamite coming on the show it could be, dare I say it, the best Tonight Show of all time (like anyone could even know that! Gosh!). Sorry, more lame N. Dynamite references.