- Otherwise, I've been trying to get into the Halloween spirit. Last weekend was our annual trip to Knott's, and this weekend marks another Danny Baram yearly special -- the Halloween Horror Movie Marathon. More on that next week, but yeah, hyped to finally see cult classic vampire flick Near Dark, and also psyched to see potentially new-classic Trick r' Treat.
- As far as movies go, I've still got to see WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE and also BLACK DYNAMITE Also, I kind of want to see ASTRO BOY. It looks like an interesting mix of anime and American animation sensibilities, and it features the voice of Kristen Bell in one of the lead roles. Plus, who doesn't love stories about cyborg superheroes? Dammit, now I really want to see a crazy CGI Mega Man movie!
Also, last night I managed to catch a free screening of CIRQUE DU FREAK: THE VAMPIRE'S ASSISTANT. I saw a couple of reviews favorably comparing the movie to the likes of The Goonies, Monster Squad, and Sky High. Is it really in the same league as those other revered classics in the kids comedy/adventure genre? Scroll down for the answer. But first ...
TV STUFF:
- MODERN FAMILY continues to absolutely kill. Wedneday's episode was another awesome installment, filled with great character moments, hilarious jokes, and some very inspired writing and acting. I loved the interaction between Phil and Gloria, and the ongoing idea that Phil has a huge crush on his new stepmother. Ty Burell was so hilarious in this one - at times, I've worried that his character is a bit too much, a bit too cartoonish. But at the end of the day, Phil just gets a lot of the best lines and moments, and Burell's delivery is awesome. I mean, the entire scene of Phil in Gloria's bedroom, covered in her underwear ... oh man, classic. I also love that the show continues to give us new layers to its characters each week. This week we find out that Cam is a former football player and a huge fan ("surprise!"), and that Claire has a lot of pent-up resentment towards Gloria (she's a "coal-digger"). My only complaint with this one was that the ending was a little too sweet and saccharine. Especially after last week's brilliantly subversive ending, this one was a little too feel-good. Still, Modern Family is rocking.
My Grade: A-
- Last night's episode of THE OFFICE was dark, dark, dark, but very funny at times. The whole plotline of Michael having taken Pam's mom as his "lover" is just #$%#'ed up beyond comprehension, and Pam's reaction of horror mixed with anger and revulsion was pretty understandable despite the extremes to which she took things. Jenna Fischer did a great job in this one. But the episode worked so well because there were a ton of funny character bits surrounding the main, cringe-inducing A-story. From Creed crying to Dwight scheming to Ryan's fedora of mysterious origin, there was a ton of funny stuff going on in the periphery. But man, this episode went to some very messed-up places. I give credit to the writers that they somehow managed to pull together a semi-sweet ending out of this one, with Jim doing his best to console Pam - reminding her of the good times they had together on their honeymoon, as opposed to her current living-nightmare that her mom is gettin' busy with her psycho-creepy boss. One thing's for sure - the Office still = must see TV.
My Grade: A-
- After last night's episode, I think that reports of 30 ROCK's demise may have been greatly exaggerated. I saw that The AV Club gave this one a somewhat harsh grade, but on this occasion, I'm not sure what they were smoking. This was a great episode of 30 Rock. I mean, Will Arnett was back, for one thing, and that means awesomeness. Arnett was in fine form as Jack's corporate rival, and the scenes between them were friggin' hilarious (their argument about hot vs. cold pizza was amazing). Meanwhile, Tracy Morgan got in some of his best lines in a long while. I was dying during one of his exchanges with Liz Lemon where he randomly began speaking only with two-dollar words. The two subplots that didn't quite work as well in this one were those revolving around Jenna (she went to Iceland to film a B-grade werewolf movie, playing a "moonologist"), and Kenneth (turns out he's part of a group called Big Brother, that secretly keeps watch on people in case they do bad things). There was almost too much going on in this one, but the hilarity of the main storylines more than made up for the shortcomings. And we even saw a glimpse of a 30 Rock porn! Good lord.
My Grade: A-
- I thought PARKS & RECREATION faltered a bit last night. Here's the thing: the main ongoing plotline about Leslie trying to fill the pit ... is boring. So too is Rashida Jones' relationship with Chris Pratt. These are the very same plot points that turned me off from the pilot, and so it was a bit of a letdown to see them pop up again here. What's worked the last few eps has been an increased focus on the supporting characters (Aziz, the intern, etc.), and the introduction of Louis CK as a cop with a crush on Leslie. This ep felt like a Season 1 ep - it didn't have the punch or the sharpness of the last few weeks.
My Grade: B-
- I'm still in catch-up mode on GLEE. I will say this - I had been considering dropping the show, but the last few weeks' worth of eps have definitely sucked me back in. I feel like the character dynamics have really gotten interesting of late. One brilliant move was making Will's wife Terri into the defacto villain of the show. Now that they've given up on trying to make her overly sympathetic, it's a lot more fun to just sit back and hate her. Another smart play was upping the screentime for Jane Lynch's Sue Sylvester. Lynch is plain and simply one of THE funniest people on TV right now, if not THE funniest. Glee needs here as a constant presence, and luckily she's become much more prominent. The more of her awesomely kickass line deliveries and female badassery that we get per episode, the better. Glee is still sort of all over the place in terms of plot and tone, but in the end, great characters always win out.
- Alright, enough TV for now ... it's time to get spooky, bloody, and decidedly undead, as in the spirit of the Halloween season, I present:
CIRQUE DU FREAK: THE VAMPIRE'S ASSISTANT Review:
- This movie reminds me of one those flicks that, as a kid, I absolutely HAD to see for some random reason, only to be disappointed and embarassed that I had gotten so worked up about it in the first place. Let's face it, when you're an 11 year old boy, you want to see any movie that features monsters, vampires, aliens, or Hulk Hogan. And that means that you get a mix of the good and the bad. For every kickass action or sci-fi movie you see that ends up becoming a treasured childhood classic, there's a "Dracula: Dead and Loving It" or a "Mr. Nanny." (both, incidentally, childhood picks of my brother's, not mine!). But The Vampire's Assistant is one of those movies that is a little bit weird, a little bit dangerous, and promises a kid-friendly but complex story of vampires, circus freaks, cool action, and classic good vs. evil undead shenanigans. If I was currently ten, I'd be chomping at the bit to see it. But even a ten year old boy will probably come out of this one sensing that it wasn't all it was cracked up to be. The fact is, this movie is pretty much a mess. There are moments of coolness, but those moments are overwhelmed by some cringe-worthy acting, flat direction and f/x, and a crappy script. A modern-day Monster Squad this certainly is not.
It's funny too, because for the first couple of minutes of Cirque du Freak I was all smiles. There's a cool, mood-setting animated opening credits sequence that establishes a fun and creepy vibe. But within minutes, things take a turn for the sucktacular. It starts when we meet our two main teen characters, Darren and Steve. They basically follow the Clark Kent / Lex Luthor model from Smallville - they start out as inseperable best friends, but as we have hammered down our throats for much of the movie, they are destined to be mortal enemies, locked in an eternal battle of good vs. evil. Sounds epic, right? Too bad that a.) both of these two turn in performances that wouldn't cut it on the Disney Channel, and b.) the whole thing plays out due to the goofiest circumstances imaginable.
I mean, the whole movie is so rushed and matter-of-fact. "Oh, a forbidden and dangerous freakshow - let's attend!" "Okay, cool, wow, that one guy is clearly a vampire!" "Cool, let's become vampires, that would be awesome!" "Wait, YOU got to be a vampire? I wanted to be a vampire! Now I'll hook up with a band of way evil vampires and we can become mortal enemies!"
There's never any real sense of wonder or mystery. Steve recognizes that John C' Reilly's character is a vampire because he's obsessed with vampires and saw his picture in his book about vampires. And he's totally nonplussed about the whole thing. Later on, Darren (who for some reason is obssessed with spiders), decides he wants to be a half-vampire, because, um ... just because. So he forsakes his entire life on a whim. Again, the script here is pretty terrible. Characters just do whatever so the plot can move from Point A to Point B. And the whole thing feels like some half-baked story that I might have come up with in fourth grade. There's lots of lofty talk about a coming war between vampire clans and the big bad villain Mr. Tiny. But we never learn what's up with Mr. Tiny, and we never get to the war, or find out why Darren is so important to the grand scheme of things. In fact, the entire movie feels like one big cluster, because on top of the bad dialogue and poorly-drawn characters, the whole thing was written as if this were merely Part 1 of some huge 10 part saga or something. This is fine in books or comics or whatever, but ... what the hell?! Audience know that this isn't like Harry Potter where a complete series adaptation was planned from the outset. So now we're left with a movie that has about a million plot holes and unanswered questiosn and ends on a cliffhanger to boot, with only a slim shot of ever getting a sequel. That's no way to craft a movie like this. It's The Golden Compass all over again.
Again, the two main teen actors are pretty iffy. Say what you will, but man, give credit to impeccably-cast franchises like Harry Potter. Even Twilight, for all its faults, has an amazing lead in Kristen Stewart. The weird thing is that the supporting cast is made up of a completely talented group of actors. But they almost all seem either miscast, or else are barely used at all. I mean, the members of Cirque Du Freak alone ... you've got Ken Watanabe, Selma Hayek, Jane Krakowski from 30 Rock, Kristen Schaal from Flight of the Conchords ... I mean, wow. But each appears only briefly, and there's barely a memorable line or moment for any of them. Watanabe is kind of cool as the enigmatic ringleader Mr. Tall, but that's about it.
As for John C. Reilly, I mean, I'm a huge fan. I think he's absolutely hilarious in movies like Walk Hard and Step Brothers. But this movie barely takes advantage of his comic timing. There are a few moments where he gets to be funny, but otherwise, he's playing a sort of grizzled and wise mentor character. Which makes you wonder ... why was Reilly cast in this role, one that seems like it would be far better suited for some wryly humorous British thespian type? Hell, freaking Willem Dafoe is in this movie for all of five minutes - he could have played Reilly's character, Crepsley, and maybe done a bang-up job.
There are a few standouts here. You've got to love the larger-than-life Michael Cerveris as the mysterious and evil Mr. Tiny. He chews up scenery with creepy foreboding. Only problem is, like I said, this movie gives us almost no indication who Mr. Tiny is or what his deal is or how he has his magical powers. Ugh. I also liked Jessica Carlson as Darren's love interest / closet sideshow freak. Too bad there's zero chemistry between her and the ultra-bland Chris Massoglia who plays him.
It's frustrating because I got the sense that somewhere buried beneath the movie's flat script is actually a pretty cool mythology. I'd be curious to take a look at the books and see how things compare. The Vampire's Assistant does have moments where I actually became intrigued at some of the ideas it was setting up - rival vampire factions, strange races of trolls and goblins, a book that foretells a vampire apocalypse. Maybe in the books these turn out to be cool ideas once they are more fully explored. But in the movie, the various plot points never come together to form any kind of cohesive whole. It makes the movie feel like an overstuffed but undercooked mess. Making matters worse, the direction from Chris Weitz never really pops. Very few moments recapture the atmosphere of the animated intro. You can only imagine that Tim Burton would take one look at this one and demand a complete stylistic redo. Meanwhile, the f/x work barely holds up to a typical episode of Smallville.
I know that this is one of those movies that you want to root for. I know I did. It feels like one of those underdog, semi-throwback movies that, again, hits all the right buttons to set off your inner ten-year-old boy. But this isn't the next Sky High, and I guess if you really want your Halloween freakshow fix, you'd be better off just watching the classic X-Files episode "Humbug." I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you won't be missing much by skipping out on Cirque Du Freak.
My Grade: C-
- Alright, just about time for the weekend to commence. Keep it spooky.
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