Yo, Ho'. Pirates 2: The Review, and More

Ahoy matees! (how many blog entries across the 'net have started with some kind of lame, Pirate-y greeting over the last few days, I wonder ... A lot, I'd bet, but hey, gotta love it.).

I'm back from an eventful weekend, and am back at work, back to reality. Erica, who I've shared many adventures with in Boston and elsewhere, was in town this weekend, so from Thursday night to Saturday night much craziness ensued. Thursday we hit up Citywalk for dinner and other randomness, Friday we met up with Brian and Scott for a sold-out showing of Pirates of the Carribean 2, and Saturday saw us partake in an evening of late-night craziness in the middle of Hollywood proper. It was a good time all around, and always good to see my BU friends and relive the old days and catch up on all that is new in our worlds. With Erica staying in Santa Monica though and with her being car-less, I did a ton of driving this weekend, leaving me pretty exhausted. Sunday I was supposed to meet up with my brother's friend Aidan, who is spending the summer interning at Paramount, but I was totally wiped out and instead slept late, did a few errands, and played God of War for a few hours on Sunday (great game, btw). But yeah, lots of craziness this weekend and I hope I can recover for the week ahead, unlike last week where each of the three days between the holiday weekend and the next weekend seemed to absolutely crawl. Oh well, at least no court dates on the books for this week. At least not yet ...

Before I review PIRATES, just a few movie-related thoughts:

- First up, damn, Pirates 2 made a ton of money this weekend. No big surprise though, as far as I can see. This is a HUGE franchise that appeals to men, women, young and old. The first movie was a huge sleeper hit, and yet even though Orlando Bloom, Kiera Knightly, and of course Johnny Depp's stars have all risen since the first movie, they all came back for rounds 2 and 3, as did the writers and director Gore Verbinski, who as of now has gotta be on any action movie fan's map. Of course, Pirates' success came at the expense of Superman's, which made a pretty flimsy $21 mil this weekend. I am kinda torn about that one - I want the movie to do well because it's friggin' Superman - I love all things Superman (well, except this movie), and want the movie to do well. But I also hope that the poor second weekend gives Warners a kick in the pants and shows them the dissatisfaction that many felt with this movie, which probably led to damaging word of mouth. What is my ideal direction for this franchise? Well, me writing the sequel of course. But aside from that, I wouldn't mind if they kept the core cast and brought in a different writer - director team, going with a sequel that was more action-oriented and really distanced itself from the Donner movies. Of course - what to do about that pesky kid? It's going to take one hell of a writer to work around THAT little plot point. Hmm, what is the team from PIRATES doing? One other guy who'd be perfect for the job - Michael Chabon. Chabon is an amazing novelist who wrote a NY Times best-selling book - The Adventures of Kavalier and Clay, that is about two young comic book writers in WWII-era New York, with quite a few similarities to Superman's creators, Siegal and Schuster. But wait, what screenwriting experience does Chabon have, you may ask? Oh, just a little movie called SPIDERMAN 2, which he co-wrote with SMALLVILLE creators Alfred Gough and Miles Millar. Not a bad team for a new Superman movie - wouldn't you agree?

Do you hear me Warners? The perfect team for a new Superman is over at the Marvelous competition doing Spiderman! But as far as I know, these guys are NOT involved in Spiderman 3 -- so come on, get them on Superman ASAP!

- One other PIRATES rant -- what is with some of the insane reviews going around lately? I've never seen a summer season where the big movies are getting such completely mixed reviews. Nacho Libre, Cars, Superman, and now Pirates, for example, are all getting wildly differing reviews. For Nacho and Superman, I kind of understand. Both are love or hate type movies that either grab you or don't, depending on your particular sensibilities. With Superman, everyone I've talked to was either blown away, or else extremely lukewarm, as I was. I think some people just got caught up in the imagery and Superman-as-messiah grandeur and overlooked all of the movie's flaws in plot and tone. But, I can at least SEE how some people loved Superman, even if I have a feeling that in a few years there's going to be VERY FEW people who regard Superman Returns as a classic, as I think that repeated viewings will just expose its flaws more and more.

But, where are the actual people who hated Pirates? I have talked to none. EVERYONE I know at LEAST liked it, and most really, really liked it. So on WHAT BASIS does Lisa Schwartzbaum of Entertainment Weekly give this movie a D+ ...? I mean come on, that is absurd. You're telling me that Pirates, a fun, smart, visually amazing movie is worse than 90% of the other movies you've reviewed? I understand that critics operate on a fluid grading scale, but come on. The EW Pirates review just reeks of being attention-bating and possibly part of some kind of Time Warner agenda to derail the movie that would topple its own Superman from the Box Office chart. I hesitate to accuse EW of bias, because they are usually fair (even giving an against-the-grain C - to Through A Scanner Darkly this week as well, which is a WB movie), but something is definitely fishy with their Pirates review. There's just no way that this movie merits a D, no matter what your grading scale is like.

So what did I think of the movie? Well, here it is:

PIRATES OF THE CARRIBEAN 2: DEAD MAN'S CHEST Review:

Pirates 2 is like The Empire Strikes Back by way of The Mummy Returns. It's darker and more complex than the first Pirates, but also BIGGER! LOUDER! CRAZIER! - pretty much a non-stop thrill-ride from start to finish. But is all this sound and fury a bad thing? No Lisa Schwartzbaum, it's not. After my last summer blockbuster experience, filled with brooding, angsty heroes (cough*Superman*cough) and more moping than action, it was nice to see a true summer popcorn movie that thoroughly kicked my ass. Sure, the completely over-the-top, madcap antics of the movie prevent it from having the same gravity and weight of other, more serious-minded franchise like say, Lord of the Rings or even Star Wars. But you won't find a more fun or more entertaining movie that Pirates 2.

What makes Pirates rise above the similarly in-ya-face actioners of Steven Sommers (The Mummy, Van Helsing, etc - which I have always enjoyed as sugary, B-movie guilty pleasures), is a.) a clever, intricate, and surprisingly continuity-heavy script and b.) great, memorable characters played by a universally talented, charismatic cast.

As far as point A goes - the writers and director Gore Verbinski really mine every little detail from the first movie to create the illusion (I doubt they had this all planned from the beginning) that Pirates exists in a cohesive universe as grand and as interconnected as anything from the mind of JRR Tolkien, Stan Lee, or George Lucas. Seemingly inconsequential details from the first movie are painstakingly referenced and woven into the fabric of a sweeping mythology, and EVERY character, big, small, or simian, is along for the ride and gets their chance to shine. And the remarkable thing is that by acknowledging nearly every dangling plot point, no matter how small, from Part 1, the movie now gives instant credibility to Part 3 - we can now have complete faith that any dangling plot threads from THIS movie will eventually be addressed.

And again, speaking to Point B, even though this movie contains virtually nonstop action, it makes time for plenty of telling character bits that continue the main character arcs from the first movie and set things up for an epic conclusion. Some of the directions that the characters were taken in were surprisingly unexpected. Sure, we all knew that Johnny Depp as "Captain" Jack Sparrow was slowly becoming more heroic, but I didn't expect Kiera Knightly's Elizabeth to go to such dark places, or Orlando Bloom's Will Turner, for that matter. Every character is given more depth than they had in the first movie, so anyone who argues this movie skimps on character in favor of action is full of crap. There is a way to cram in character arcs organically in the midst of all hell breaking loose, and this movie does just that. As far as the main characters go - Depp is hilarious and yet strangely menacing and unpredictable as Sparrow, as always - and man, what an entrance the guy makes. Depp deserves his props for making Sparrow a totally original character far beyond, I'm sure, what he was originally intended as. Knightly and Bloom of course do run the danger of being a little bland at times, but overall they are given a lot more to work with here than in the first movie, and I liked the character of Will Turner a lot more given that he had a bit of depth to him this time around. Also, as I mentioned, each and every supporting character is given a moment to shine, and suddenly characters like the quintissential pirate Gibbs and the comedic duo of Pintel and Ragetti (hilariously played by The Office's McKenzie Crook) went from being just amusing in the first movie to beloved crowd favorites in the second. As far as villains go, Davey Jones was pretty awesome - a classic conflicted bad guy, tragic and grotesque like all the great movie monsters.

But speaking of Davey Jones, let's forget about the script for a moment and talk about the amazing visuals. I love the visual f/x and stunning character design of the movie - one of the first examples I can recall where CGI character and design work in a live-action setting truly conveyed a level of seamless imagination and artistry worthy of the likes of Jim Henson's hand-made creature creations. Davey Jones and his crew looked spectacular, and the sheer size and magnitude of the Kraken reminded me of seeing 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea as a kid and thinking that the giant squid was the coolest, scariest thing ever. When Davey Jones bellowed to release the Kraken, it reminded me of the coolness in Sky Captain And The World of Tommorow, when Angelina Jolie ordered for her amphibious squadrons to be readied - and I'm like, "yes, please."

Similarly, the action choreography in Pirates 2 is up there with anything from a Jackie Chan movie, using the same style of frenetic, kinetic stunts combined with animated physical comedy. I'm not ready to put Gore Verbinski on a level with Steven Spielberg or Peter Jackson yet in terms of ability to direct amazing and impactful set-piece action sequences, but the pure visual spectacle and non-stop energy of the movie's action scenes makes for few dull moments. The thrilling escape scene from the island of Tortuga and the three way sword-fight between Jack, Will, and Norrington (a rather generic villain in Part 1, here an interesting fallen nobleman looking to reclaim his prestige) were each just awesome to watch. And man, that near-final shot of Johnny Depp as Jack Sparrow, in full pirate regalia, staring with sword pointed down the gaping mouth of the Kraken - damn, talk about a quintissential Pirate moment. Intense.

Pirates 2, is, as I said, a throw-it-all against-the-wall type of movie, sometimes to its detriment. The plot is pretty convoluted, and there are a number of McGuffin-y plot devices that don't get fully explained or elaborated upon. Some of the shifts in character are a bit sudden, as are some of the shifts in location. I'd say that most of the confusing details actually hold up upon analysis, but I agree with some of the complaints that certain plot points could have been made easier to follow. The humor is great, but i'd say the movie almost overdoes it with the wackiness-factor, sometimes detracting from the darker direction of the plot by filling up so much of the movie with over the top humor. As I said in my opening paragraph, the movie almost overtly tries to emulate Star Wars, but the tone is too light and joke-y to carry the impact of Lucas' original trilogy. But on a sidenote, the parallels between this movie and Star Wars, especially in terms of how the plot and characters, almost to a T, mirror the Empire Strikes Back is kind of uncanny. But hey, if the formula works ... And as for my final complaint - I think that in getting so wrapped up in the fantastical aspects of the story, the movie does lose a slight bit of its original edge. At this point, the series is really more Fantasy than pure Pirate fiction, and in that genre shift it loses a bit of the grit, the darkness, the atmosphere of a movie solely focused on pirates and not on mystical monsters and magic. But I'm sure we'll get a movie like that down the line -- that's not what this franchise is about - it's big, fun, over-the top, and I can't really fault it for going in that direction.

Dead Man's Chest is a damn good movie in and of itself, yet now suddenly part of a larger tapestry that should make for a kickass trilogy in the final summation. It's a pure adventure story, filled with imagination and action, but also character and wit. Just as people complained about X-3 giving short shrift to character though, I'm sure a vocal minority wishes that their Pirate movies, like their Superhero movies, would be filled with riveting talking heads and edge-of-your-seat soap opera romances and heroes who mostly stare at things longingly and doubt themsleves. Sorry folks, but this is a movie about PIRATES, a movie that took me to exotic locales, presented non-stop action, memorable characters, humor, an applause-generating cliffhanger ending, and all the plank-walking, rum-drinking, pillaging, plundering, high-seas sailing, sword-fighting, wench-fighting, sea-monster-fighting adventure that one could want from such a movie. So drink up me hearties, yo ho. And bring on Part 3.

My Grade: A -

- Alright, that's all I've got time for now. But let me know what you thought of Pirates, and have a good one. Forget corporate America - a Pirate's life for me (except with less sailing and more hygiene, I think).