This Blog Just Got POSTERIZED

Dammit! -- I completed a huge new post about an hour ago, but blogger went down and I lost all of it. It's a tragedy I tell ya - paragraphs of original writing by me down the drain, never to be seen by anyone. So I will TRY to approximate what I wrote earlier, but man, I don't know ...

Well, this weekend saw the beginning of the NBA playoffs, and:

FINGER OF SHAME to ABC and ESPN for their lackluster NBA coverage. Back when the NBA was on NBC, we got movie-trailer-quality pregame video packages tht built up the drama of each game to epic proportions. We got top flight commentators like Marv Albert and the alway entertaining Bill Walton, and of course that classic theme music. Now, ABC's playoff coverage basically blows goats.

NOW, we get second rate production values, a sleep-inducing in-studio team, and boring commentators in the form of bland Mike Breen and a lost-without-Dick Stockton Hubie Brown. ESPN, with its poor in-studio players (Greg Anthony is boring, Steven A Smith is obnoxious and headache-inducing), and similarly uninspiring production is not much better. So PRAISED be TNT, the only current home for decent NBA coverage, with the best announce teams (Marv Albert, Kevin Harlan, etc), and the classic Inside the NBA team of EJ, Kenny, Sir Charles, and Magic. But seriously, in spite of the current state of the NBA, the playoffs are always something to be excited for. But it's hard to get amped up when you turn on ABC and the coverage is so freaking lame. And trust me, this is not just corporate bias talking. As Bill Walton would say, "Come on, this is the playoffs!"

As for the games themselves, well no big surprises thus far. As per usual, the superstars step up and the playoff-tested role players make an impact. I do think that da Bulls' chances against Shaq-diesel and Miami were overrated, as Chicago is still a young team with little playoff experience, which is usually the name of the game at this time of year. Indiana on the other hand is composed of some battle-tested veterans, so its no surprise that they bested the Nets in game 1, though that series will likely be close down the stretch. I think Miami, Detroit, San Antonio, and maybe Dallas will all steamroll lover their competition in round 1, while the other series will likely be fairly close. Wizards / Cavs is going ot be a good series, and the wildcard is probably Suns / Lakers. My prediction and hope is that the Suns sweep or come close to it, but when Kobe is capable of putting up the numbers he can, you never know.

MOVIE REVIEW -- AMERICAN DREAMZ:

I saw this for free at Universal this weekend, but I can see why it bombed at the box office. I don't think people knew what to make of this movie, and that held true for me after I had seen it as well. With a great cast and a premise rife with comedic potential, ya have to ask yourself: what went wrong here? Basically, this movie just has a jumpy, tonally inconsistent script that has few moments that are actually, you know, funny. It seems like the premise of this movie is just begging for a movie that plays in an off the wall, anything-goes, Zucker brothers satirical style a la Hot Shots or Airplane. And yet, the humor is surprisingly restrained and inconsistent. For some reson, each character is given a totally unnecessary personality twist in the course of the movie that leaves you scratching your head. Rather than go all out, for example, in making fun of Dennis Quaid as Bush, the movie eventually tries to make us root for the bumbling president as he rebels against his controlling V.P. -- but all we really want is for him to act stupid and make us laugh. And the character we DO want to root for - Mandy Moore as Sally Kendoo, a Kelly Clarkson meets Britney Spears girl next door, morphs from likable protaganist to cold hearted manipulator as the movie goes on, and we don't really know what to think about that, either. It's like they're trying to suffocate what should be a funny satire by smothering it with unnecessary complexity and weird character shifts. It's too bad, because you have William Dafoe, Marcia Gay-Harden, Dennis Quaid, Hugh Grant, and one of the more promising former teen pop stars, Mandy Moore. And this great cast is mostly wasted. Sadly, one of the main sources of humor in the movie is just watching talents like Quaid and Dafoe playing as Bush and Cheny, and Grant as a bored, insecure, snide hybrid of Ryan Seacrest and Simon Cowell. There are scattered laughs, but there's probably only one real consistently funny character (the lead terrorists' flamboyant cousin). It just seems like every opportunity for hilarity is given a great setup but no punch line. Every scene that SHOULD be funny isn't. A chassidic Jew on American Idol? SHOULD be funny - but is never really given a proper punch line - they never did anything with the funny idea. A sequence that parodies American Idol contestants like Constantine and Fantasia? SHOULD be funny, but isn't - it's played way too straight to get many laughs. The whole premise of this movie SHOULD be hilarious - it's a perfect setup to satirize current politics and pop culture. I love the concept of a bumbling President with sagging popularity going on American Idol as a judge to win over the American public. And i love the idea of a terrorist cell sending one of their own to enter the competition, advance to the finals as a lovable William Hung-esque novelty act, in an effort to get in front of the President and assasinate him on live TV. This could and should have been great. Instead it was mostly, ironically enough, a bomb. My grade: C

TV STUFF:

FOX SUNDAY NIGHT QUICK REVIEWS:

MALCOLM IN THE MIDDLE: The 150th episode of this show was vintage Malcolm. Malcom and his fellow high school outcasts' efforts to organize an anti-prom, aka a Morp, was classic, as was the Dewey subplot involving the neglected brother's realization that his parents never took a single photo of his childhood. When this show is at its best, it's always been about this family that is just beaten, downtrodden, depressed, and condemned to wallow in misery despite their best efforts to change. And when its at its darkest is often when the show is at its most hilarious. Good stuff, watch it while you can. My grade: A

KING OF THE HILL: This show has always delivered smart and funny social satire, and this episode was no exception - as Buck Strickland decides to turn Strickland Propane into a "Propanery" after visiting a big-on-fun Cold Stone Creamery-esque ice cream shop. Hank's weariness with mixing work and "fun" was great, and overall this was an excellent ep. My grade: A -

THE SIMPSONS: In all the years that the show has been doing these lame three-thematically-related-stories episodes, has ANY of them ever been good? Not really, as these episodes tend to suck pretty hard. Surprisingly, this one, with three nautically-themed segments, of all things, was almost decent, with scattered laughs and one reasonably amusing story in the middle segment, the Mutiny on the Bounty riff featuring Bart and his friends. Otherwise, I wish they'd avoid doing these types of episodes, which usually come off as somewhat lazy and half-assed. And come on, three segments linked by a nautical theme? That is really reaching, guys. My grade: B -

FAMILY GUY: Wow, second week in a row that Family Guy has been nearly unwatchable. What is going on here? We had a main plot that was barely there, a subplot that consisted of Stewie pretending to be a gymnast (THAT'S a subplot?), and jokes that pretty much uniformly fell flat. Man, remember the days when Family Guy was, if nothing, else, consistently good for a lot of laughs per episode? Yeah, it's been a while. This episode was terrible. My grade: D -

MORE QUICK TV REVIEWS:

SMALLVILLE: While the plot of this ep was ripped from SAW, it was still pretty damn good thanks to the best character on the show, LIONEL LUTHOR, being the featured player. Lionel always brings the gravitas, and when the character is prominent you know you're in for a treat, even if the acting far overshadows the typically corny writing. My grade: B+

THE OC: Well, the kids visiting colleges was something different, at least, but everythign else was the same stuff we see rehashed on a near weekly basis. Ryan and Marissa trying to just be friends. Marissa going back and forth with her vice. Kirsten teasing a return to alcoholism. Summer upset with Seth, thinking he's with another girl. Look, there's old favorite characters Anna and Theresa. Too bad they're gone by next week before we really care that they're back. Watching this show on a weekly basis can be entertianing, but its also like being trapped in a neverending loop. And PS -- there is NO WAY Summer, as she is written on this show, would EVER get into Brown. My grade: B -

OTHER STUFF:

- Good times at la casa del Carlos this weekend. Finally met some of the Pages that began their NBC careers in the post-Danny Baram era. Oh man, they don't know what they are missing.

- They are making a Sgt. Rock movie -- cool! Cast Bruce Willis as Rock and include some Joe Kubert artwork somewhere in there and we've got a potentially kickass WWII movie. "Let's go, Easy!"

- 24! 24! 24! Jack Bauer will soon bring the gravitas as only he can ... let the countdown begin ...

- Alright, it's about that time to sign off until next time. I can't believe I re-typed all this crap. I am a blogging wunderkind!