Thursday, December 07, 2006

Another Epic Tale of Vehicular Mayhem ... and MORE Barely Intelligible Rantings

Well, I've got some rantin' to do, but before I get to that ...

- Happy 50th to Larry Bird! Darn it all, give that man a Tommy Point because "Larry Legend" is bar none one of the great competitors and true originals in all of sports history. From his classic rivalry / friendship with Magic Johnson, to his amazing performances on the court, to his killer threes, to his absolute stoicism on and off the court, Larry Bird is a classic, and the very definition of "Celtic Pride."

- Okay, as I was saying ... the last few days have marked the return of one of my most persistant problems since I first ventured out here to the uncharted waters of LA - CAR TROUBLE. Car trouble here in CA presents a unique set of challenges for a number of reasons: the fact that us LA residents are totally dependent on cars to get around, the fact that my car dealership is run by a bunch of scam-artist sleazebags, and the fact that getting to and from the dealership / repair shop requires calling in favors from friends who are very busy, not always in the vicinity, and understandably weary of taking time to haul me back and forth.

So about a week ago, I noticed that the "Low Tire Pressure" light on my '99 Oldsmobile Alero would flash every time I started the car. I didn't notice anything wrong with my tires, but when I went over the weekend to get an oil change I made sure they checked the tires and refilled them with air. In theory, everything should have been fine after that, but that annoying beep kept announcing that I still, apparently, had low tire pressure, which I didn't, meaning that the problem had to actually be with the electrical system and / or the sensors in the car. So this past Tuesday, despite many misgivings based on past bad experiences, I brought my car into Community Chevrolet in Burbank, where I was met with the usual feeling of uneasiness. Just to descibe this den of sleaze to the unfamiliar, my friend Justin from work walked into the dealership to pick me up and take me back to the office ... within SECONDS, some salesman is propositioning him and claiming that if he bought the car he was eyeing RIGHT THEN AND THERE, he'd take off $3,000 from the price. What is this, an episode of Family Matters or something? These guys personify every bad used car salesman stereotype.

So I go back to work after dropping off my car to be looked at. Of course once I'm back at work, the guy from the dealership unceremoniously calls and tells me the problem is a failing alternator, and that a fix will cost me almost FIVE-HUNDRED DOLLARS! Are you kidding me? Okay, granted, at the time, I knew nothing about alternators, but this obviously seemed like a rip from the get-go. Me and my dad call around and find that this is in fact a rip-off (big surprise). I called Pep Boys and their quoted price for service was a full $200 less, in fact. So I call back Community Chevrolet, tell them to cancel the repair ... of course that evening I go there and am dropped with a ONE HUNDRED DOLLAR service charge for a mere diagnosis. Again, are you freaking kidding me? Keep in mind, this is a dealership that I have visited all too often since buying my car there two years ago - they practically sold me a lemon, with all the problems I've had - and they slap me with a ridiculous service charge as a precursor to their attempts to rip me off with their outrageous charges.

And to top it off, the guy just lets me grab my keys and drive off. Thanks for telling me, by the way, that my car is now MINUTES AWAY FROM DYING. Luckily it is a fairly short drive from the dealership to my apartment, but it felt like a lifetime as I drove down a traffic-congested Olive St. in Burbank with all kinds of lights flashing and beeping inside my car, and the whole thing feeling like it was about to go HAL on me and decide to kill all humans. So yeah, thanks again to the jerk at Community Chevrolet for happily sending me on my way, blissfully unawares that I was driving a potential deathtrap. Okay, that's a bit of exaggeration, but it only confirmed my belief that if I can help it, I'm never stepping foot in that hellhole again.

So the next day was so, so close to going off without a hitch. But on my way to Pep Boys, mere blocks away from my destination, MY CAR DIED.

Luckily, I started to get a bad feeling about things and pulled off of Olive, away from the heavy lunchtime traffic. So at least I was on a quiet side steet when my car's battery died (the power was being drained after the alternator had failed, I guess). But, and this is kinda funny, I was trying to back into a spot along the curb when this happened. So yeah, my car was almost horizontally parked in the middle of the road when it died. Like I said, it was a quiet road, but the few people who drove by and had to squeeze past me were none too happy. Even though I was CLEARLY unable to move my car and was in the middle of a semi-crisis, almost everyone who drove by greeted me with a delightful mix of scowls, bewilderment, and, inthe case of one elderly woman in particular, a barrage of expletive-filled cursing aimed in my general direction. Aren't people nice? I will say that there was one very nice woman who actually stopped and asked if everything was okay, and to her I say a huge "thank-you." If by some miniscule, remote chance she happens upon this, let it be known that you are one of the good ones.

So I called AAA, they came and towed my car the few extra blocks to Pep Boys. Luckily, Liz L. was on her way to pick me up, and was able to find me off of Olive and help out. So we got to Pep Boys, the car got there a little while later, and finally, everything seemed to be set. All that was left was to find someone to give me a ride back to Pep Boys after work (thank you, Kyle). But like I said, it's easier said than done, and in the end I had four separate people drive me one way each, each time I had to get my car somewhere and then get back (thank you also Justin and Courtney).

All this for a stupid alternator. Luckily, my car now seems to be working okay. Let's hope it stays that way, and let's hope no other poor soul has the misfortune of having to repeatedly deal with the scam-artist ass-clowns at Community Chevrolet like I have.

And there my friends is my tale.

TV STUFF:

- Got around to watching Monday's STUDIO 60 and ... color me pretty impressed. Well, impressed to a degree, I guess. Because as much as I like many aspects of the show, there is still something about the show's pretentious mix of politics, self-importance, and sentimentality that leaves me with a slight headache after every episode I watch. But on the other hand, few other exchanges on TV this season have been as good as Steven Webber and Ed Asner's little back and forth in Monday's ep ... Ed Asner brought so much weight to that scene, just great stuff. I almost wish this was a show about the Network News and not a sketch comedy show, because tonally it just isn't goofy or funny enough to make us believe this is a show about the funniest comedy on TV. The characters are almost all deathly serious, the sketches we see are rarely clever, and the level of social and political discourse is just too omnipresent for a show built on a premise of comedy. With that said, this was a good episode where things really started to come together, and some of the dramatic character moments really began to click. Actually, this ep had an air of finality to it, and that seemed to help as a lot happened and a lot changed. There was lots of good, even great TV here, but a lot that still was tough to swallow.

My Grade: B+

WARNING: SLIGHTLY ODDBALL RANT AHEAD:

- I'm not sure if I get why ABC wants to move LOST to 10 pm. It just seems like a whimper of a move to me, which probably won't help much if at all to boost ratings and might even alienate younger viewers from the show. There's just something that strikes me as weird about the nets moving away from 8 pm and towards 10 for their big dramas. Like, shouldn't most people be in bed before 11? I know, that sounds weird, and I know I'm not, but if one has to wake up at 6 am that means they're only getting 7 hours of sleep by watching a 10 pm show, assuming they fall asleep immediately afterwards. I mean, doesn't it strike anyone else as strange that the TV nets program their schedules in direct opposition to what is healthy for the average consumer? This kind of scheduling makes me realize that universal time-shifting for all TV shows can't get here fast enough. I know this sounds like some weird ranting, but this has always seemed like one of the least talked-about health problems - American's don't get enough sleep, which leads to over-reliance on caffiene and other substances to feel awake and energized. With this somewhere in the back of my mind, it just makes me uneasy that a mass-market, all-ages-appealing show like LOST will now air at a time when, in theory (not in practice, of course), most people should be brushing their teeth and getting ready for bed. Anyone else with me on this?

- Finally, for more hilarious rants (these though from a fictional character), check out a website that brought me many laughs this morning ... the homepage of fictional Onion columnist Jim Anchower. Classic. http://homepages.theonion.com/PersonalPages/jAnchower/

And since it's been so long since I rapped at 'ya, I'm outta here. Goodnight Irene.

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