It was a nerd heaven, it was a nerd hell ...

This past summer when I interned at Late Night With Conan O'Brien, I was in a constant state of disbelief. Sure, I tried to act cool, but dammit all I was working in the offices of one of the greatest comedic minds alive. This guy was the editor of the Harvard Lampoon. He wrote the MONORAIL EPISODE OF THE SIMPSONS, for Homer's sake. He wrote for SNL. And he had a damn funny late night talk show. In my opinion the best late night talk show there is. Wow. How in the hell did an unassuming kid from Bloomfield, CT end up here? AS the weeks went on, the place started to become familiar. But still, every time I happened to pass Mr. O'Brien I did a double-take. I walked through the halls of NBC brandishing my ID badge for all to see. True, I was a lowly intern - the bottom rung on the food chain, but look at me, Ma, I had made it.

So it was three months later, and I was still looking for a job. Yep, I was like the Al Bundy of recent college grads, reduced to muttering about my former glory days as a Conan intern. I had lived the dream of comedy nerds everywhere, and then, to paraphrase Aerosmith, I was back on the street like I didn't miss a beat. But there were some interviews in the weeks to follow. Not just any interviews, mind you, but visits to three of the companies that really shaped my childhood and made me into the man I am today. Yep, I walked the hallowed halls of Nickelodeon, DC Comics, and the WWE.

Nickelodeon. In my youth I was a Nickelodeon kid. At the time as many of you remember this channel was all about subverting us impressionable youths into parent-hating, authority-bucking, rebels. I gobbled up their shows like they were Reeses Pieces. You Can't Do That On Television, Out of Control, Hey Dude, Salute Your Shorts, Pete and Pete, Pinwheel, Are You Afraid of the Dark, Welcome Freshman, Sixteen, Double Dare, Guts, What Would You Do, Nick Arcade, Ren and Stimpy, Doug, Rugrats (it's still on!), Rocco's Modern Life, that show with Melissa Joan Hart, The NICK KIDS CHOICE AWARDS (oh my god those ruled back in the day). OK, you get the picture (wow that list was fun to make ... too fun). So yeah I was a total Nick zombie. Hell, I once accidentally dialed 911 while desperately trying to win the Nick Shopping Spree thing, and oh how I wanted Nick to invade my school and slime my teachers (take THAT Mrs. Yardeni!). So here I was, interviewing at a company that will forever own a piece of my childhood. I went for one interview and it went well but I didn't get the job. I went for a second, for a different position, and it seemed to go really well, but again, no dice. Sure, the company that now counted a giant yellow sponge as it's mascot was not the same place that in my youth made me stop everything to dance along to Happy Happy Joy Joy, but it would have been frickin' sweet to work there. Next.

WWE. Or as it has long been known, the WWF. Laugh all you want, but yes, I am a fan. I got the bug when I was just a toddler, watching Hulk Hogan and the Macho Man and Ted Dibiase and Bret Hart and all the rest. Now, does the current product still excite me like it used to? No. Do I somehow understand the appeal of guys pretending to kick each other's asses in a melodramatic fashion? Oh, hell yes. So as I drove to Stamford and Titan Towers, I was kinda unsure. I mean, let's say I want to one day write for a TV show. Will they look down on a guy who worked for the company that promotes Bra and Panty matches? All the while, of course, I was assuming they'd hire me. I mean, I worked for Conan freakin' O'Brien. Never assume, people. After a grueling 3 hour, five-person interview, it seemed to be going well. So there I was, in the WWE studios. If I had been ten years old I probably would have crapped my pants, but still, my cynicism gave way to thoughts of "wow, this is pretty darn cool." So, no, I didn't get the job. But at the time it was kind of a relief. I mean, I didn't want to move to Stamford. I didn't know what exactly I'd be doing. And there was still the chance I would hear from ...

DC Comics. I won't sugar-coat this. I am a huge DC fanboy. Basically, one of my dream jobs is to work at DC Comics. I will defend comic books to anyone - they are a great American art form and I would love to work in this medium. So I wasn't nervous when I went to the almost mythical halls of DC in New York City, I just had a huge smile on my face, cuz holy crap, there was a giant statue of Superman! There was a giant mural of all the classic characters! There was Joey Cavalieri, editor of the Superman comics! It was pretty hard to contain my fanboyish excitement as I saw his desk, littered with as of yet unpublished artwork and ideas for upcoming storylines. I also met Joan Hilty, another editor, and the man himself, Managing Editor Dan DiDio. All things considered, I think it went well. I had long heard stories of young assistant editors who go on to become big names in the business, and I hoped and hoped that that next young upstart in the DC bullpen could be me. I should have known by the free comics I was gratiously given to me - it was almost a concilliatory gesture. Of course, it would be almost a month before I knew whether or not I got the job. So yeah, didn't get that one either. When all is said and done, it was pretty cool, ok, I was living the fanboy dream to see the insides of DC, WWE, and Nickelodeon. Just like it was when I interned at Late Night. Now I actually need a job (and lots of sweet sweet dolla dolla) and I need to really get in the game. Being a fan is one thing, but now I gotta contribute. Still, if you told me when I was a kid that I would have seen the places I've seen, well, I'd be happy.