"Well, I stand up next to a mountain ..." ASSIGNMENT NEWS and MORE, MORE, MORE!

Finally ...!

I have an assignment at NBC!

So after a series of increasingly intense interviews, I figured it was time to once again play the waiting game while the Powers That Be mulled over their choice for the Primetime page assignments. But (gasp!), their decision as rendered with surprising quickness, and somehow, someway, I actually got the job! Yes, I can now proudly announce that next Monday I'll start work at NBC's primetime development department, basically as an assistant to an assistant of the VP of series development. Sure, it will mostly be grunt work, but I'll be hanging with the big dogs, so who knows where this could lead. It could be a big step, or it could be that in three months time the assignment is over and I'm back to giving tours. Who knows. But whatever, it's got a lot of potential, that's for sure.

So here's a quick FAQ to answer those burning questions you may have.

Q: What is primetime development?
A: Basically, as I understand it so far, it's the dept. that evaluates the shows that NBC has in the pipeline, and decides what to go forward with and what to give the axe to. They meet with writers, producers, etc. to determine what shows will be finding a home on NBC.

Q: Will I now be raking in the big bucks?
A: Nope. The big-time cash-money will not yet be a-flowin', as I'm still an NBC Page and still subject to our rear-inducingly low paid-by-te hour salaries, and still eligible to be pulled to give the occasional tour or work the occasional Leno, Ellen, or Carson, so I am not retiring the ployester uniform just yet. But I'l ldefinitely be working A LOT more hours than I am now. (Every part of me doesn't like that prospect, except the part that likes to get paid. Damn the part of me that still refuses to enjoy waking up early! This isn't college anymore ...)

Q: How soon can we expect big changes at NBC?
A: Almost immediately. Within days I plan on implementing a full-scale house-cleaning of the network. We'll be scrapping Martha, ditching Law and Order, and putting Surface to rest. In their place will be "Cyborg Doctor," " Real Animal Cage Fights," and "The Danny Baram Funtime Hour."

Seriously, it's been a long and sometimes grueling quest to navigate the rough waters of the NBC page program, and now finally I can take full advantage of its opportunities and go on assignment. So I think this calls for a:

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

And hey, thanks to all my fellow pages and other friends who were so supportive and who were rooting for me. If they only knew how much money I had to fork over to get this assignment ... KIDDING! But yeah, it was kind of funny how on Wed. I didn't even step into the page offices until like 2 pm, and so everyone knew about it before I did, and was just waiting around to see my reaction. In other circumstances I may have broke down and wept like a schoolgirl, or dropped to my knees and pumped my fists to the heavens in a Michael Jordan meets Mick Jagger-like gesture, but really the whole suddenness of the thing just took me off guard, and I didn't even know what to think. Of course, having been raised by neurotic Jewish parents, I was quickly thinking things like "how am I gonna screw this up?" and "will this interfere with my daily eating habits?" Oy.

Before I get too sappy for ya', there's nothing like a nice grim n' gritty Jewish holiday to put things in perspective, namely Yom Kippur, and its yearly reminder that we are all sinners and need to pray for the sanctity of our very souls. So yes, I chose to bask in the glory of my new with-assignment status by going to synagogue, fasting, and asking forgiveness from God for a virtual cornucopia of sins that I may or may not have (but probably did) commit in the last year.

Honestly, I think that Yom Kippur is kind of an annual wake up call to look at the big picture and actually consider questions like "Am I a good person or a total a-hole?" I think that the whole world should be forced to observe Yom Kippur and actually look inward with some degree of accountability for one's own behavior. Of course, it's probably the ones who are actually decent people who even bother to feel guilty about the stuff they've done wrong, while the real jerks are able to remain that way because they probably aren't really inclined to pause to really consider themselves, let alone spend the majority of a day in a synagogue fasting and praying for forgiveness.

Anyways:

I hope that everyone has a Shana Tovah - a sweet and happy new year. May everyone remain happy and healthy. May the world arrive at a better place than it is now. Let our country - America, Israel, and all others who practice freedom work together towards common goals under strong and wise leadership. Let us all enjoy the company of friends and family. Let us strive to be good people and to practice Tikun Olam - the healing of the world.

Alright, well there's my Yom Kippur spiel.

On to some OTHER (LESS WEIGHTY) STUFF:

AT WORK:

Aside from all this assignment rigamaroll, it's been a pretty cool week at The Tonight Show.

Aside from seeing The Killers kick ass earlier this week, and other cool stars like The Rock, yesterday I got to check out Ms. Veronica Mars herself, Kristen Bell, as she appeared on Leno. Decent interview, though it was pretty short and not much conversation about the show, which I am sad to say seemed to be mostly unknown and/or unappreciated by the Tonight Show crowd. Too bad, because ...

TV STUFF:

- This week's VERONICA MARS was, once again, awesome! Man, I agree with some others who say that this season is getting REALLY dark. But, I love it. Man, this week's darkly comical scene with Mr. Casablancas being forced to flee his company via helicopter after being exposed for real estate fraud - that was great! Dark, sure, but pretty topical too. I think part of the reason for this show's greatness is that it really does capture the zeitgeist, ya know? Scandalous actors, class warfare, shady businessmen - Veronica has it all. And oh yeah, unlike it's 9 pm Wed. competition, LOST, this show HAS a building, growing, spider-web of a mystery that I actually have complete faith in. You don't get much more tightly-plotted than this - subplots coming out the ears, all weaving together to form ... could it be? The best show on TV right now? Check it out and see what you think. My grade: A

- Yeah, like I said, LOST is totally struggling right now in my eyes. This week's ep was just SO .... SLOOOWWWWWWWWW. Even the presence of DJ Qualls couldn't save a boring series of Hurley-based flashbacks that really added nothing to the overall character. This is a typical LOST conversation lately:

CHARLIE: Tell me about the hatch.
LOCKE: Okay.
CHARLIE: What's in it?
LOCKE: A button. You have to keep pressing it.
CHARLIE: Or what?
LOCKE: Something bad happens.
CHARLIE: How do you know?
LOCKE: I have faith.
CHARLIE: Oh, cool.

Sorry, but this sucks. This show is on a path to really sucking. If the characters and mysteries of the island hadn't been built up so well through most of last season, I would have no patience for this current wave of lameness. My grade: C

- Meanwhile, SMALLVILLE is enjoying a second renaissance, apparently. A third really good episode in a row? Whaaa?!?! Lots of stuff happening here, but the case is holding things together nicely, and they are all doing a pretty SUPER (ahem) job of bringing these characters to life. The ongoing plot threads are actually COOL and INTERESTING right now, unlike last season, and the stakes are higher, and the show just seems more mature, yet still more fun than most other stuff on TV (see LOST, where it seems to pain the writers to actually have to deal with a little thing called PLOT). My grade: B+

- Oh yeah, I give a big JEER to TV GUIDE for changing its classic format to a new magazine-sized look. Unfortunately, the articles are still mostly craptastic fluff pieces, and unlike its much cooler and more respected British equivalent, the venerable Radio Times, TV Guide is hardly the place to go to get cutting edge news or reviews. At least they used to have the handy, pint-sized format going for them. Now, nada. What a waste of paper. And this is coming from someone who used to eagerly await the Fall Preview issue each year (what, you can't be surprised by that ...).

WHAT ELSE?

- Why the lack of political commentary these days, you ask? Well, our current national scene is so pathetic that there's really no need for me to comment, as the failings and flaws of the Bush administration are now painfully obvious to just about all but the most hardened observers. All I know is that I shudder to think about the monumental rulings that will be coming from our Bush-league Supreme Court in the next few years and even decades (as once yer Supreme Court, it's 4 Lyfe, baby).

- INFINITE CRISIS # 1 Review:
It's the holy grail of geekdom - DC Comics' sequel to the Crisis On infinite Earths, the biggest, most important, most epic universe-spanning miniseries of the last 25 years. Actually, it's been exactly 20 years since the original Crisis, and so DC is breaking out the big guns once again and producing yet another earths-shattering series set to once again change the face of comicdom. So after literally YEARS of buildup (Unofficially kicked off in last year's heralded but controversial IDENTITY CRISIS), FIVE lead-in miniseries, and an alomst INFINITE number of scattered crossover issues in titles ranging from Superman to Wonder Woman to Robin, WAS IT WORTH THE HYPE?!?! After looking at those beautiful twin covers by Jim Lee and George Perez, after gazing open-mouthed at the stonning interior art by Phil Jiminez, and after rushing through a Geoff Johns-penned 30 page opener that read like 10 Hollywood blockbusters jammed into one book bursting with history, pathos, and emotion ... the answer is a resounding YES! This is it folks. You've got The Spectre running wild in Gotham, a fleet of OMACs gathering for something called Project: Truth and Justice, an intergalactic WAR going on in the Polaris galaxy, and wait - TWO Lex Luthors running around, each forming their own Society of Super-Villains? Dayum, business is really picking up, and we barely even know what the hell's going on yet, as this is just issue One of Seven. But I do know that the battle between the Society and the Freedom Fighters (can you say Uncle Sam (yes, THAT Uncle Sam) vs. Deathstroke?!?!) was awesome, and I can say that Batman telling Superman that "the last time you actually inspired anyone was when you were DEAD." is an early candidate for line of the year. And while the last page will have comix newbies saying "Huh?" and longtime fans beating their chests in spasms of joy, it definitely showed that big things are a-coming. So yeah, if you haven't picked up any comics in a while, or even if you've NEVER read a comic but wondered what was so special about 'em, then THIS is a good place to start, because, well, it's like the biggest comic book story ever! Or, at the least, it's gonna be one hell of a ride. My grade for Issue 1: A -. Butwhen all is said and done, this could be the opening chapter of something truly special. RUN OUT and BUY IT. And ask me if you have questions (you'll probably be wondering things like "what's a multiverse?" and "who is Conner Kent?"). I'll try to explain.

Okay, fanboys - now that I'm a bigtime NBC playa I got to go and do bigtime things, like sleep. Or wait, don't I get an assistant to do that stuff for me? Peace. Leave me a comment and I'll have it forwarded to my manager. Yeah ... that's the ticket.