Phi Slamma Obama - Primary Postscript and Speed Racer Rant

- Wow, yesterday in the early evening, I was nervously IM'ing with a few friends as I glanced at the first data coming in from the Indiana primary. Initially, it looked like Hillary had a commanding lead on Obama, a scenario that, even coupled with an Obama win in NC, would have made the primary even more drawn-out and given Hillary even more reason to keep on scrappin'. Luckily, the numbers took a surprising turn as the evening wore on, and Obama just kept gaining and gaining, to the point where Indiana was still deemed "too close to call" until late into the night. Even with her eventual victory, it looks like Hilalry only just edged out her rival, with a mere 2% victory - meaning her delegate advantage was ultimately negligible. Meanwhile, Obama won by double digits in North Carolina. What this hopefully means is, as Chris Matthews offered up on MSNBC last night, that we have now entered the "the end of the beginning." Sure, we still have a few more key primary states to get through, but ideally Hillary will soon gracefully bow out and focus her energies on making sure that a Democrat is elected to the White House, even if that Democrat happens to be someone other than her. Now, there was some debate on the news shows last night as to whether Hillary's speech was concilliatory or catty. Personally, I thought her speech was typical Hillary Clinton, in that we saw a visible internal battle waged that materialized while she was on the podium. We could see Hillary A - the Hillary who recognized that the battle was winding down and it was time for grace and unity. Then there was Hillary B, who couldn't resist getting in some jabs about how Indiana was the "tie-breaker" and how, well, gee whiz, look who won the tie-breaker. And by god, Michigan and Florida count, because she's running to be president of ALL 50 states! If anything, Hillary's willingness to constantly get her shots in whenever she can has proven that she has what it takes to be a highly skilled hatchet-woman. And we all know what that means: can you say ... Vice President?

Yeah, YOU can ... but Hillary? Prob not in her vocabulary.

- Okay, on to a totally different topic: SPEED RACER. Once again, the pundits are coming out of the woodwork and imagining every reason possible why this movie will bomb. These people clearly don't have their noses to the grindstone - every indication to me is that Speed will be a pretty sizable hit. Even if it doesn't overtake Iron Man, I still see it easily passing the 60 million mark on opening weekend, and going on to do excellent business thereafter. What the cynics never quite understand about blockbuster moviemaking is that the premise and execution ALWAYS trumps everything else. A great concept done right will always win out, irregardless of the movie's cast, director, or off-set drama. Speed will of ocurse skew slightly younger than Iron Man, but at the same time, I think there will be plenty of teens, college kids, and twenty-somethings who rush out to see it, along with throngs of kids 5 to 12 who are probably already frothing at the mouth to see this one. I know I can't wait - people say "oh, it looks like a videogame." About time, I say. I've waited years to see a Hollywood film that catches up to cutting-edge games like Wipeout in terms of design aesthetic. Oh, and the last big movie that was derided for looking like a videogame? A little film called 300, which I believe did pretty well for itself. And by the way, there's a big difference between having the aesthetic of a videogame and being a crap adaptation of one. Exhibit A: Super Mario Bros. - a game series that has always had incredible visual design, a movie that looked like burnt toast.

So anyways, mark my words: Speed Racer will be huge.

- And on one final note: how great is Subway's $5 foot-long deal? Amazing.

Super Tuesday Madness: Political Primary RANT OF DOOM, Plus: Gossip Girl, Simpsons, Family Guy, MORE!

Wellllll okay some quick updates before I get into a rant or three.

a.) Make sure to check out my previous column, an epic review of IRON MAN, with a bonus rant of doom about its box office success.

b.) To update those of you who I may have mentioned this to ... yes, I was all set to go see AVRIL LAVIGNE in concert this past Sunday, thanks to some free tickets generously given to me by my NBCU pal Fowzia. Now, would I ever pay to see Avril in concert? Prob not ... But - free tix to see the eyelinered one belt out such songs as Complicated and Skater Boy? Hells yeah I'm there. Sadly, the concert was cancelled / postponed due to Avril losing her voice. So no, I did not spend my Sunday evening jumping around at the Gibson Ampitheater like a fifteen year old girl. And maybe that's a good thing?

c.) Slight plea for help: I am going to be in Boston on Friday night, May 16th and Saturday night, May 17th prior to my brother's big graduation from BU that Sunday. I currently have a few options in terms of where to stay, all of which are very far from ideal. If any of my Beantown-based buddies can help me out on this one, I would be forever in your debt. Thanks!

- Alright, anyways, moving forward ... it's time for a much-needed ...

POLITICAL RANT OF DOOM

- Okay, America, listen up! Enough is enough already - can we, for once, stop fixating on everything BUT politics when it comes to American politics? Can we, for once, FOCUS, on getting the right person elected into office?

I recently read the cover story of Newsweek, which paints a disturbing picture of an American populace that slowly seems to be turning against Barack Obama for everything but what matters most - his capabilities as a leader. Whether it's larger controversies like Jeremiah Wright (heavily denounced by Obama ), smaller and more trivial matters (the Whole Foods comment, the flag pin ridiculousness), or just the issue of race in general, which here in 2008 shouldn't be an issue - the Democratic voting block is once again becoming distracted from the real issues at hand, and frankly, it makes me sick.

Obama should have locked up the nomination by now, but thanks to Hillary's campaign spin-doctors, the race has somehow turned into a whole absurd spectacle in which Obama is painted as an elitist. We're talking about a guy who grew up in urban Chicago and worked his way up from next to nothing, versus a woman who attended Wellesley and has been a national figure now for decades. There's no doubt that the Clintons, Bill in particular, have a way of connecting with everyday Americans, but since when are they NOT part of the economic and social elite?

My larger point is this: Hillary's attacks on Obama are exactly the same tactics of distraction that helped elect George W. Bush to two terms. Al Gore was too stiff. John Kerry was too snobby. Maybe so, but good lord, either one would have been a better president than Bush. That's what the Republicans have done for the last few elections under the guidance of people like Karl Rove - they've cunningly made the elections about fluff issues, and took the real issues and reduced them to one-sentance soundbytes - Axis of Evil, No Child Left Behind ... need I say more?

Now Hillary is taking things one step further - she is pulling a play from John McCain's playbook and adopting the tactic of saying ANYTHING to get elected. She'll take a shot at a bar, talk about "obliterating" Iran, paint Obama as untrustworthy, and dub him elitist for his "bitter" comments, which by the way made total sense, and were more intelligent than most discourse in the campaign to date.

So ... can we get away from all of the tabloid-ish politics and get back to being pissed off at Bush for eight years of embarassing leadership? Can we stop nitpicking the candidates on their food preferences and start examining the finer points of their policies, of their visions for the country? On paper, either Obama or Hillary should be able to have a field day with McCain, hanging the last eight years of failure over his head. But thanks to the spin machine, the nature of the campain has changed to being about freaking flag pins. Shame on you, America. Now, can we please get back on the road to improving the country?

END OF RANT.

Oh, and by the way: what do you think of swiftboated John Kerry after seeing THIS?!? Now this looks like a man who keeps abreast of the nation's pressing issues! Bwahaha ....
http://wonkette.com/387351/john-kerry-is-sex-pervert#viewcomments

Now, on to some lighter topics ...

GOSSIP GIRL:

- Continuing my fifteen year old girl theme from earlier in the post, I'd be remiss if I didn't mention last night's Gossip Girl which lived up to the marketing campaign, as it was certainly worthy of an "OMFG" or two. Look, to me there's no shame in liking Gossip Girl - last night cemented to me that, just as The OC was in the beginning, GG is one of the best written shows on TV. Josh Schwartz and Stephanie Savage know how to make great teen TV, and this is it. Biting dialogue, great characters, and last night, the show's first real jaw-on-the-floor, surprise cliffhanger ending. Michelle Trachtenberg is great as oh-damn-she's-EVIL Georgina, and the rest of the cast is pretty darn good as well. Sure, the former rockstar dad is still, often, cheesy as hell, and the Jenny as Queen Bee storyline seemed to fizzle a bit too quickly ... but as far as primetime soaps go, just admit it, Gossip Girl is king.

My Grade: A-

FOX SUNDAY NIGHT ROUNDUP:

- I really liked Sunday's episode of THE SIMPSONS. To me, some of the biggest bright spots on the show the last few years have been the "let's explore a random cultural subculture" type episodes. The one from a while back in which Moe becomes a literary giant, for example. In this ep, we see Lisa create a doucmentary about her family and enter it into the Sundance Film Festival, where it of course goes on to become the hit of the show, until it's finally eclipsed by Nelson's even bleaker autobiographical film. I loved that this ep stuck to one main plotline and never really got off track, yet at the same time had a ton of pretty funny threads going on. Come on - Skinner and Chalmers as an indie-film producing duo, aka Chalmskin Productions? Classic. Skinner had some hilarious lines in this one - the entire scene in which he reveals his secret showbiz ambitions to Lisa was great ("Which one, Orlando or Hollywood?" "There's a Hollywood?!?!"), and I though Jim Jaramusch's (sp?) dry delivery in his guest spot was actually pretty amusing. I know this one had its detractors, but to me this was a pretty damn good episode of The Simpsons.

My Grade: A-

- KING OF THE HILL pleasantly surprised me with the Seinfeldian manner in which its various plotlines spun around and intersected into a madcap ending. At first, the episode looked to be another "Hank been done wrong" type storyline, which is okay if not particularly exciting, even if the opening's parody of Universal Citywalk was funny and sadly spot-on (though I still like Citywalk). But where things got really funny was a bit later on. Hank, having believed that a guy was trying to rob him and reacting by intimidating the would-be thief into giving the wallet back, realizes that the guy never tried to steal his wallet - so Hank had in effect actually stolen that guy's wallet. To Hank it's all an annoying misunderstanding, but for the victim this was the last straw after a lifetime of being picked on. When Hank's limply apologetic phonecalls are misinterpreted as threats, hilarity ensues. Meanwhile we got a nice cameo from Fred Willard as a down on his luck cop who pals around with Bobby, and a subplot in which Dale works at a Hooters stand-in in order to eventually sue them for sex discrimination. A lot was crammed into this ep, but it all came together pretty nicely, again, in a fairly Seinfeldian convergance of plotlines. Good stuff. Yep.

My Grade: A-

- So FOX was two for two on the night, nice. That is, until FAMILY GUY delivered a truly obnoxiously bad episode. It's strange - for a while I was really enjoying the direction that Family Guy was taking. With the Star Wars eps and the Stewie Kills Lois storylines, and the Peter time-travel episode, the show had a great run of episodes that were pretty hilarious and got back to what I loved about the show in the first place - not overrun by cutaways, and with an emphasis on smart but off-the-wall humor. But man, the last few eps of Family Guy have seemed to signal yet another change in direction. Of late, the show has become increasingly mean-sprited, off-color, and has once again fallen completely in love with the cutaways. But it pisses me off that the show has lost whatever subtley it once had. Come on - Michael J. Fox and OJ Simpson jokes - and gross ones at that? Are you serious? Meg is now reduced to a walking punchline for no real reason - I hate the fact that she is basically a "normal" girl but everyone on the show thinks she's fat, ugly, gross, etc. I mean, come on, was the scene of Chris lifting up her shirt, causing Brian to vomit, really necessary? Ugh. And it'd be one thing if some of these jokes were actually funny. But Sunday's ep was 90% empty shock value with minimal substance or actual humor. The plot was absolute bare bones - Chris meets a girl, dates her, and is told by his dad to treat her horribly to keep her interested. Wow, what a plotline. And guess what? The one or two gags that were actually funny were the ones that actually contained a clever joke (ie the parody toy commercial) and didn't just exist to take up time. It strikes me as ironic that FG creator Seth McFarlane was awarded a giant contract by FOX the day after this episode aired, because this was almost certainly McFarlane at his worst.

My Grade: D+

- Alright, a lot of big things going on today. The Celtics face off against the Cavs in game one of their second round playoff series. Go Celtics! And ... it's make or break for Hillary Clinton, and crunch time for Obama. Will we smell what Barack is cookin', or get slammed by the Hillrod? God bless America.

The 100 Million Dollar (IRON) Man - Iron Man: Reviewed!

- What's up, True Believers ... so here's a very special edition of the blog, as we take a look at the first BIG movie of the 2008 summer movie season, Iron Man. Before I dive into the actual review, I just want to say how cool it is that the movie did so well this weekend. $100 million +, baby. The reason that, to me, this is so cool is because this is an instance where a somewhat underdog movie defied the naysayers and really kicked some box office ass. Sure, a big-budget superhero movie in 2008 is never really an underdog, exactly, but still ... I guess Iron Man was one of those movies that was kind of divisive, in a way - it was a movie where people who love great action movies were chomping at the bit to see it. All of us film geeks and fanboys have been spreading the gospel of Iron Man for a year now, ever since the incredible footage shown at San Diego in '07 blew the roof off the joint. But ask around - a lot of people never seemed to get why this one would be special. The cynics said it was a second tier character. The cynics said that movie-going had been down the last few weeks. The cynics said that everything from Grand Theft Auto to Made of Honor would limit the box office fortunes for Marvel's latest. Well, to me Iron Man grossing over 100 million in its opening weekend is a win for the good guys. This is a movie that was impeccably cast with REAL actors, SEASONED actors, Oscar-caliber actors. It's a movie that respecte the source material while also updating things for 2008. It's a movie that used viral and internet marketing to great effect, without ever pandering or feeling desperate. To me, Iron Man was precisely the antithesis of some of the crap films us genre fans have had to endure: Fantastic Four, Ghost Rider ... need I say more? So while those films all did well at the box office, it's awesome that the film that did the BEST, that defied expectations and set records, was one that for once was more than deserving of such accolades.

And for the record, I argued with anyone who over the last few weeks thought Iron Man would underperform. I hate to say I told you so, but ...

IRON MAN Review:

- In a genre where so much can go wrong, I am still amazed at just how much IRON MAN got right. And let's face it, folks. Marvel needed this one, and maybe the whole comic book genre needed it too. After a string of duds like Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer, Ghost Rider, and yes, Spiderman 3, it was high time that us fans and the whole movie-going public were reminded why we love us some superheroes in the first place. But worry not, True Believers, for salvation is here, and he's wearing a suit of red and gold steel. Because Iron Man wipes away any doubts that the genre is dead or dying. And the reasons are anything but rocket science. Jon Favreau stuck to a very simple and basic plan - match a good script with great actors, respect the source material, deliver heroes, villains, and slam-bang action, and deliver a film that would make the likes of Lee and Kirby proud. Like I said, not rocket science, but it's amazing how many films have ignored these basic tenets, taking some of the most fun and creative fictional characters every created and churning out half-assed adaptations. Again, Iron Man is the antithesis of those films - a fun, action packed tale full of great actors and larger than life fun.

The most obvious upside here is the incredible cast. Robert Downey Jr., to start, is as good as everyone has said. I don't know if it's even so much that this is a great performance by him, per se. It might very well be that this is just Downey being Downey. You definitely get that sense here, as its certainly one of the most naturalistic performances ever seen in a superhero movie. But that just reinforces the notion that the casting of RDJ as Tony Stark was a stroke of genius. The guy's own offscreen troubles certainly parallel those of Stark, and that allows RDJ to bring something to the role that few others could - a world-weariness masked by a kind of manic humor. There's a charismatic presence about RDJ here that I've heard a few compare to Johnny Depp in the Pirates films, and it's true: Downey is constantly animated here - you can't take your eyes off of him, wondering what he'll do or say next. In Entertainment Weekly, I believe, it was said that Downey goes through Iron Man like a guy who's having one long conversation with himself, and I kind of agree. Whether it's seamless acting or just an extension of his own personality, there's no question about it ... Robert Downey Jr. IS Tony Stark.

It doesn't hurt that the supporting cast here is completely A-list. Jeff Bridges, as Stark's rival / mentor Obediah Stane (a name that could ONLY have come from a Marvel comic book), is off-the-chain great. The Dude abides, baby ... Bridges chews up the scenery with much awesomeness and looks suitably badass with the bald head and goatee thing going on. Terrance Howard plays the role of Stark Industries' military liason, Jim Rhodes, with a kind of bottled-up glee. His role here isn't huge, but Howard brings an enthusiasm to the role where he seems to be screaming out "damn dude, get me into the War Machine suit already!" Said enthusiasm is totally contagious, and when Rhodes admires the Iron Man suit with a glint of mischief in his eye, we can't help but give an amen to Howard's exclamation of "next time, baby." Gwyneth Paltrow is really exceptional to boot as Pepper Potts (another classic Marvel-style name, to be sure). As Stark's loyal assistant and potential love interest, Paltrow mixes comic book pluckiness with real pathos to make us care more about Pepper than any comic book hero's special lady friend in quite some time. Sure, her competition includes Jessica Alba, Eva Mendez, Katie Holmes, and Kate Bosworth, so, not too hard for Paltrow to shine in comparison. But she really is a lot of fun here, with some great chemistry with Downey Jr. and some nice dialogue as well. And screw the haters, I've always been a Paltrow fan - from Sky Captain to The Royal Tannenbaums, she's a great actress. Finally, Paul Bettany was great a the voice of Jarvis - Stark's highly advanced computer / electronic butler. Some of the best scenes in the film come about thanks to the interplay between the two, despite one being an inanimate computer system.

In general, props to Iron Man for having the balls to make unconventional (for Hollywood) casting choices that are, in reality, total no-brainers. While some braindead studio execs might prefer that Iron Man be played by the latest "it" teen actor or whatever, kudos to Favreau and co for going with actors who have true talent, who look and fit the parts, and who proved this weekend that you don't have to be 22 and on the cover of Teen Vogue to draw big box office.

As for the script, where Iron Man really excels is in its fast paced, adult dialogue. Many of the back-and-forths felt more Swingers than Spiderman, which was really cool to see. With overlapping conversations, legitimately witty humor, and a lack of cheesy one-liners, Iron Man certainly blended its comic book aesthetic with a pretty mature and sophisticated storytelling style. Now, did that maturity at times give way to some cliched bits? Sure - the big end battle in particular seemed from a different movie, all action movie cliches and been-there, done-that action. But for the most part, Iron Man was better and stronger than it's competition.

Now, despite that aforementioned maturity, one thing I loved about Iron Man was that it never forgot its roots. The movie reveled in the sheer coolness of the Iron Man suit - when Tony first whups ass with his Mach 1 prototype armor, when he goes on his first flight, kicks his first round of badguy butt while donning the classic red and gold, fires his first repulsor rays and makes $#%# blow up real good - these are all moments to make you stand up and cheer. Give credit to the f/x guys - the suit looks awesome, as does Tony's lab and some of the other high-tech set design. And man, there are a ton of great geek references in here to make the Marvel fans giddy. Not only do the characters, the suit, the locations feel lifted straight out of the comics, but things go into total overdrive thanks to the running subplot involving Marvel's staple covert-ops supergroup, S.H.I.E.L.D. (I'm not even going to try to spell out the acronym). Let's be honest - every fanboy worth his salt has been chomping at the bit for one of comicdom's most beloved ideas - the concept of the shared superhero universe - to finally make it onto the big screen. Without spoiling anything specifically, the final, post-credit bonus scene, involving a certain eye-patched Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D., played by one bad mutha', is one of the most geek-out-worthy things ever put to film. As Stan Lee might say: 'Nuff Said.

Without a doubt, Iron Man has so much going for it that it is instantly worthy of being hailed as one of the best comics-to-film adaptations to date. Unfortunately, to me it JUST misses the mark of being an all-time classic action flick, period. The biggest flaw to me is that at times, the narrative can be a bit flimsy. More and more, it's becoming noticable that a big weakness of comic book flicks is that the setup to the climactic hero vs. villain confrontation often feels rushed. Iron Man is guilty of this lack of proper build-up, quickly having Jeff Bridges morph from ruthless businessman to homicidial maniac over the course of a few measly minutes. It makes his final showdown with Iron Man much goofier-feeling than it should have been. That same final fight is also marred by its relatively small scale. It seemed like a much bigger, more epic brawl was in order before movie's end. I guess time and budget ran out before a proper climax could be included? It's a shame, too, because the movie sure does take its sweet time establishing Iron Man's origin - if only the same could be said for the second half of the film in which he's actually in the suit. Last complaint: I echo the sentiments of some other reviews that it would have been icing on the cake if Iron Man had a truly memorable musical score. Not to say that there weren't some appropriately metal tunes sprinkled throughout (including great use of the Black Sabbath song of the same name), but the soundtrack did seem a bit lacking at times.

In any case, I only critique because in most respects, IRON MAN was one badass movie, and an incredible way to kick off the '08 summer movie season. As I said, so much of the movie was done the right way, it's amazing that Favreau got this thing made the way he and fans everywhere wanted to see it happen. It's a movie that begs for a sequel, and if that buzz-worthy ending is any indication, it's a movie that may well change the face of superhero flicks altogether. But the best I can say about Iron Man is that, wow, right out of the gate, this is the standard-setter. And I'm not just talking about dollars, though there's that too. Aside from measuring up at the box office, it's going to be a mighty challenge for the rest of the summer's big-guns to stack up quality-wise to Iron Man, it's that good of a blockbuster. That goes for Speed Racer, Indy, and even The Dark Knight. A bar has been set, and it's cast in iron.

My Grade: A -

Striking While the Iron Is Hot: LOST, Smallville, 30 ROCK, The Office - Reviewed!

Man ... this weekend cannot come soon enough. It's been a tiring week, a lot going on at work, a visit from my old BU buddy Sarah W., watching a lot of NBA playoff action, and trying to finalize plans for an upcoming quick trip to Beantown for my brother's graduation ...

Anyways, tonight: IRON MAN. Hells yeah. Check out my entry from yesterday to get pirmed and ready, with my list 10 essential tunes featuring a comic book character in the title. Yes, I am a nerd.

- By the way, one thing that I hope will be a lesson learned from Iron Man's eventual success: for the love of God, when casting action movies, especially superhero flicks ... you don't need pretty-boy post-teens in the main roles! We need more Christian Bale's, Ron Perlman's and Robert Downey Jr's in these roles. When the casting began for the now-dumped JLA movie, the casting was simply atrocious-seeming. Adam Brody as the Flash? I like Brody, but please, no more baby-faced effeminate types in leading action-movie roles.

Okay ..... way too much TV was watched by me last night. Let's get to it:

LOST:

- I went back and forth a little about what I thought about last night's ep, but then it hit me, as the clock struck 11 pm and that final tone rung out signalling the episode's end -- for an hour, I had been holding my breath, on the edge of my seat, and hanging on every word of LOST. The fact was, this was a totally intense, character-driven episode that overall, I'd have to say was one of the season's most compelling to date.

Give a lot of credit to Matthew Fox. He just has that intangible quality as an actor that makes him seem human and relatable no matter what situation he's thrown into. Fox did an outstanding job last night, plain and simple. I know that Lost fell a bit out of favor with the Emmy's in recent years, but, well, it may be time for Fox to once again be deemed worthy of awards consideration. Last night, we really went to hell and back with Jack. On the island, we saw Jack's control-freak tendencies manifest in dramatic fashion, as he insisted he be kept awake as Juliette performed surgery to remove his appendix, and that Kate be present as well, possibly to offset the sometimes duplicitous nature of Juliette. That overt trust of Kate was parallelled in the flash-forwards, where we are shown an intermediary period between the various Kate and Jack flashes we've seen to date. After Kate's trial, but before Jack finds himself desperately teling Kate that they have to go back to the island, seen during last season's finale. In this particular period, Jack surprisingly seems to have found a measure of domestic bliss with Kate, who we know prior to and after this period he's not exactly on great terms with. But here, we saw the facade of the happy couple begin to crumble. Jack isn't sure if he can trust Kate, who is apparently helping out the island-bound Sawyer in some secretive manner. Add to that the fact that Jack keeps seeing glimpses of his supposesedly dead father, and we have the beginnings of Jack's eventual meltdown.

All of this emotional and psychological turmoil was depicted pretty brilliantly by Fox. The scenes between he and Kate bristled with sadness and intensity. And it's pretty remarkable how the Lost guys have constructed this out-of-sequence tapestry of Jack moments. The best part is that, whereas circa Season 2 these probably wouldn't have fit together particularly seamlessly, they now have the air of pieces of a puzzle being fit neatly into place. It's fun to watch, that's for sure.

Aside from all the Jack stuff, there wasn't much else to this episode. The biggie was the cliffhanger, in which Claire goes missing from Team Sawyer, apparently having disappeared with Ghost Dad. Interesting, and like everyone else I perked up during the next-ep preview when that guy told Locke he had been dead for thirteen years ... say what now? I see dead people! And even Crazy Hurley says the Lostees are all dead. But if they're dead, then what are Rousseau, Karl, and poor Alex? Really, really dead? Now, if one is plucked out of time at the moment of death and transported to a magical island that heals all, does that make them dead, undead? Hmm ...

Anyways, really good stuff here. Not a ton of on-the-island plot movement, but in terms of intensity, character drama, thought-provoking existential crises, and good ol' fashioned mystery ... it doesn't get much better.

My Grade: A

SMALLVILLE

- Some geeky part of me really wanted to love last night's Smallville, which pulled the old "what would an alternate reality in which Clark Kent never existed be like" trick. Apparently, a world without Clark is a world that is one giant tribute to the Superman lore of the movies and comics. In this world, Lois Lane is a crusading reporter, Jimmy Olsen a bow-tie wearing photographer, and Lex Luthor a black-gloved, white-suit wearing President of the USA. Cool, right? Yeah, it might be, if this episode didn't contain some of the most ridiculous writing I've yet seen from the typically campy show.

From Clark Kent running into his alternate timeline doppledanger and trying to convince Martha and Jonathan Kent's biological son that he wasn't crazy and was an alien from Krypton, to Jimmy confiding in a guy who he'd never met before in his life, to the trip to Krypton that saw Clark Kent rocket his own infant self to earth ... holy lord, was this a cluster of an episode.

I liked the kind of big action feel we got here, I really did. I've seen complaints about some of the budgetary constaints in terms of not showing much of Krypton or whatnot. I agree it was lame that Krypton was just the Fortress with a green tint, but at the same time you've got to admire a show that even gets this ambitious in its storytelling, even if the end result of said (overly?) ambitious storytelling is pretty messy. I guess it's just nice to see Smallville aim high for once and actually have Clark deal with danger where the stakes are high and all can't be solved with a speed burst-powered clock to the head.

Still, the stilted dialogue, hamfisted acting (sans Michael Rosenbaum, who once again classed up the joint with his always-great depiction of Lex), and questionable f/x really made this a shell of the action-packed extravaganza it could and should have been. The time-travel elements were handled with laughable nonchalance, and Braniac was yet again not used close to his full potential as a villain. It really makes me worry about the recently announced arrival of Doomsday, set for next season. The show has yet to prove, in seven years, that it can introduce a cool, effective villain other than the Luthors. Kinda sad.

My Grade: B-

THE OFFICE

- After hitting a high point last week, this week's Office was a bit of a come-down. Not that there weren't some funny moments, but this episode overall never really seemed to find its voice. I really liked the idea of focusing in a bit on Stanley. He's one of the Office characters who we know the least about, and the potential for a real conflict with Michael was always pretty good, as Stanley is one of the few who is actually actively angry with Michael's workplace antics. But after some interesting buildup, it seemed like things never really went anywhere. It was funny and awkward to see Stanley really call out Michael - it's too bad that the ep never truly delved into Stanley's thought process. I mean, most of the time Michael is actually naively rascist in dealing with him - doesn't that piss him off?

I don't know, this episode was just a bit frustrating, as it seemed like there was both a comedic potential and dramatic potential with Stanley that was never quite tapped. Meanwhile, there were some interesting little threads with Pam and Jim, Toby, and Dwight (who supplied the biggest laughs of the night, by far, with his in-your-face methods of pursuasion used on both Andy - successfully, and on Michael - unsuccessfully). Thank you Rainn Wilson for always bringing the funny to The Office. Oh, Daryl was pretty fun as well with his fake gang-advice to Michael. And I also give the episode some bonus points for Steve Carell's so-awkward-it-eventually-became-hilarious closing monologue, which started as a Rodney Dangerfield impression and soon became a freakshow amalgam of various famous stand-up routines. And yeah, I'd be remiss if I didn't mention Creed and his dirty thoughts about Pam. Wow.

My Grade: B

30 ROCK:

- And then, there was 30 Rock. Again, a funny episode but a bit too Liz-centric for my tastes. The problem is that the Liz-focused episodes, I find, tend to be a bit more sitcomish that most. Of course, 30 Rock always has some innovative and random humor in spite of the sitcom trappings of a particular episode. But this episode teased us with one or two funny lines each from the likes of Jenna, Kenneth, and Tracy, but then relegated them to bit players for much of the episode, while we focused on the on again off again romance between Liz and Floyd. I did enjoy some of the Cleveland-centric humor (the Ikea bit was pretty good - the same humor could easily be transplanted to CT ...), and I especially thought the minute or so of Liz eating her sandwich at the airport was pretty classic.

The teamsters subplot, in which a bunch of very realistic-seeming teamster dudes would only relinquish a specially-made sandwich if they were beaten in a drinking contest, had a few amusing moments but ultimately didn't give much to Tracy and Jenna to do, though the climax, in which everyone on the Tracy Jordan show overcame their various drinking restrictions to triumph over the teamsters, was pretty funny.

So, not an instant-classic episode of 30 Rock, but still a pretty good episode of one of TV's best comedies.

My Grade: B+

Okay ... enough of this jibber jabber. I'm out - stay tuned for the big IRON MAN review coming soon.

Made of Iron: The Top 10 Songs To Get Your Repulsor Rays Runnin'

Okay, some fun stuff for everyone today, in this very special edition of the blog. The Celtics won last night, Lost is new tonight, it's almost the weekend, and I'm ready to roll. So suit up, strap in, and get ready ...

So like I've said, my enthusiasm for IRON MAN is pretty much at a fever pitch. And so I thought it only appropriate to do a special, pre-Iron Man blog entry greasing the wheels of the hype machine just a little bit more. So what I was thinking was this: as cool a character as Iron Man is, many hear the term "Iron Man" and immediately think of the famous Black Sabbath song by the same name. Now, the truth is that Iron Man the song has no real relation, other than its name of course, to the Marvel comics character. That is, until now. Because as I mentioned way back when here on the blog, one of my simplest yet most strong fanboy dreams, upon hearing that an Iron Man movie was in the works, was for those classic opening Sabbath chords to be coupled with the iconic Marvel comics imagery, in a timeless marriage of Iron Man the song with Iron Man the ass-kicking superhero. So imagine my pure geek bliss last summer at my first ever San Diego Comic-Con, during which the world premiere trailer of Iron Man was unveiled. The footage alone was fanboytastic, but what sent the whole thing completely over the edge for me was the much-dreamed-of inclusion of Iron Man, the song. As the iconic guitar riffs accompanied straight-from-the-comics images of ol' shellhead busting heads, I was in a state of escapist nirvana. This was it, baby. I. AM. IRON MAN!

So anyways, that got me thinking - what are the all-time greatest rock songs to feature a comic book character's name in the title? That's right, in the title. So I'm not talkin' songs merely associated with a character via soundtrack inclusion or whatever (ie U2's "Hold Me Thrill Me Kiss Me Kill Me"). And I'm not talkin' songs that at some point MENTION a character (ie "oh Superman where are you now?" in Genesis' Land of Confusion), or even songs that are generically about superheroes or whatever in a more general sense. And finally, I'm not talking songs that are an actual theme song (ie the Spiderman theme song, even the Ramones' cover version). I'm listing only songs that have a comic book characters' name IN THE TITLE OF THE SONG. And maybe the songs don't even have anything to do with said comic book character, but that's not the point, because who knows - someday they just MIGHT (see Sabbath's IRON MAN now used in the Iron Man movie trailers, or Johnny Cash's Ghostriders in the Sky repurposed and remade for the Ghost Rider movie). So, on with it ...

DANNY's TOP 10 SONGS WITH A COMIC BOOK CHARACTER'S NAME IN THE TITLE:

10.) "Superman" by Goldfinger - Like many people, I first listened to this song, and to this band, via the now-classic soundtrack to the original Tony Hawk's Pro Skater, back in the halycon days of the original Playstation's reign. Now, this song really has nothing to do with Superman ... it's mostly about a guy who sucks at life but is pretending he's the man ... or something. But hey, it's a great song, it's called Superman, so, dammit all, it makes the list.

9.) "Return of the Phantom Stranger" by Rob Zombie - One of DC's most classic horror characters, The Phantom Stranger has an awesome name, an awesome look, was in some awesome stories written by Alan Moore, and is just pretty much awesome. So even though I don't love this song and it may even be one of my least-fave Zombie tunes, I'll give it a listen every so often just because ... Rob Zombie actually wrote a song about the Phantom Stranger. Badass.

8.) "Jimmy Olsen's Blues" by The Spin Doctors - Sure, the Spin Doctors were kind of a one-album wonder in the 90's, but who didn't own that one album at the time? I remember buying it immediately (on casette!) as a kid because I looooved "Two Princes", and was pleasantly surprised to find that they had a song all about Superman, Jimmy Olsen, and "Miss Lois Lane." Did the song get kind of annoying after a few listens? Sure. But has the plight of wannabe Mr. Action Jimmy Olsen ever been better depicted in song form? Nope.

7.) "Sheena Is a Punk Rocker" by The Ramones - Here's one that's one of my fav Ramones songs ... but does it actually have anything to do with classic cheesecake comic character Sheena, Queen of the Jungle? No, I don't think so. But it's amusing to listen to it and think of a scantily-clad jungle babe who doubles as a part-time punk rocker. And really, what's more punk rock than a woman who's left her inhibitions at the door and taken to swinging around the jungle fighting villainy? Now that's punk rock.

6.) "I Whupped Batman's Ass" by Wesley Willis - Have you ever heard a song by Wesley Willis? If not, get to downloading. I was first exposed to his KRAZY songs in college, back in the heyday of Napster. He was basically this half-crazy homeless guy who sings random songs that make no real sense and just go on and on with no real rhyme or reason. The funniest of his nonsensical tunes? Easily the awesome and hilarious "I Whupped Batman's Ass." It's about Batman getting on Mr. Willis' nerves, thus warranting a ghetto-style beatdown. Yes, you heard me.

5.) "Ghostriders In the Sky" by Johnny Cash - An eerie, atmospheric tune that evokes a Western-tinged ghost story, it's the type of song that would make an appropriate soundtrack to accompany a vintage issue of Weird Western Tales. But let it be said: BY FAR the best thing (and pretty much the ONLY good thing) about the recent Ghost Rider flick was a rocking, kickass cover of this song thatp layed during the film's ending credits. If nothing else, it makes the song that much cooler by having it evoke the flameing-skulled rider of Marvel Comics fame. Note I said of Marvel Comics fame, NOT of godawful abortion of a movie fame.

4.) "Superman" by REM - Okay, another song that is called Superman, yet isn't really about Superman the cape-wearing S-shield sporting last son of Krpyton. But is this as a pretty classic song, a canonical example of 1990's-era alt-rock at its finest? Yes, and so, yes, the song qualifies for the list. Now, the vibe of this song is pretty emo, and doesn't exactly get you in the mood for action-packed superheroic adventure ... but, hey, avid fans of the Superman comics can attest that, thanks (or no-thanks) to creators like Brian Azzarello and Kurt Busiek, the last few years' worth of Superman adventures have seen the big guy get off-puttingly contemplative, mopey, and even shed a tear or two. In fact, one need look no further than TV's Smallville to see a constantly self-doubting Clark Kent, on a show whose very message seems to scream that everybody, even Superman, hurts.

3.) "Flash" by Queen - Obviously, this song isn't about The Fastest Man Alive, The Flash, but its potentially misleading title earns it even more points for the list. The song is, however, about Flash Gordon, savior of the universe - a character who originated in the pulpy pages of the Sunday funnies way back when and has since enjoyed a number of comic book revivals. This song by Queen, however, is from the 1980's Flash Gordon movie - a spectacular musical action flick of epically campy proportions. With its sci-fi vibe and snippets of movie dialogue intersperesed throughout the song ("what do you MEAN, Flash Gordon approaching?!?"), this is one of the ultimate sci-fi themed songs ever sung, by a band that has its fair share of out-there tunes ("The Invisible Man," "Princes of the Universe"). Come on, who doesn't love to randomly belt out "Flash! Whoah-ohhh! King of the impossible!" ...?

2.) "Superman's Dead" by Our Lady Peace - Not only is this a song with Superman in the title, but it seems to reference one of the most popular storylines in the character's comic book history - the 1990's epic Death of Superman storyline. Now, is the song actually about said storyline? Nope, not really - nary a mention of Doomsday or The Eradicator is to be found in its screechy lyrics. But the song is a staple of 1990's-era rock, just as the Death of Superman story is closely associated with the 1990's-era comics boom. And most importantly, the song pretty much rocks.

1.) "Iron Man" by Black Sabbath - You know it, I know it - as overplayed as this song may have become over the years, as many times as you've heard it, when those first droning guitar sounds begin to drop, you know exactly what time it is: time to rock. As mentioned, the song isn't really about Marvel's Iron Man, but I think it's safe to say that most young fanboys listen to the song picturing a superhero in a red and gold suit of hi-tech steel, stomping around whupping some badguy ass with his repulsor rays. I remember as a kid, I assumed the song was about the superhero, but then in turn never got why "nobody wants him, they just turn their heads." I think I was too busy rocking out to seriously ponder such questions though - and that, my friends, is the mark of a classic.

- And there you have it ... see you guys in the theater on Friday. I'm off to pen a post-punk pop song about Nick Fury, with my new band, the Howling Commandos.

So Long, Suns, and MORE

- Well, last night the Suns really blew it. For a while there, it really seemed possible that, not only might the Suns win the game, but that they could ride some magical wave of momentum and somehow push the mighty Spurs to a Game 7. And if there were to be a Game 7, then who knows what could happen from there.

But man, Steve Nash with key turnovers and minimal production? Boris Diau thinking he was Tim Duncan? Shaq not being able to hit a free throw to save his life, and going up with weaksauce finger rolls when once he would have thrown it down? And don't give me the argument that Shaq makes them when it counts. A free throw counts just as much in the first or second quarter as it does in the fourth. If Shaq had made his free throws in the first half, then the Suns would not have been in the hole they later found themselves in. Every basket counts. The bottom line is that the Suns only stayed competetive with the spurs in spite of themselves. Their team as it existed in this series was a disjointed mess - a strange mashup of the old, run n' gun Suns with a team that resembled last year's Miami Heat. Nash rarely seemed sure what to do with the ball, and it was telling that the team seemed most comfortable with Shaq on the bench. But O'Neil was the big-money player, so I can't begrude Mike D'antoni for sticking with him -- he was essentially obligated to gamble on Shaq, because that's the direction the team decided to go in - live or die with the big man. And in the end, Shaq proved to be as odd a fit as initially speculated. With Amare demanding the ball in the post, Shaq was relegated to the roll of garbage man. And when Shaq is simply a role player, he becomes a liability.

I do agree with Sir Charles though, that coaches are fired too quickly in the NBA. Already today we've seen Avery Johnson get the boot in Dallas. Now, Dallas may very well need a change in direction. But it's amazing to see a guy get fired two days after a losing playoff run. Let's face it though, what Dallas really needs is a tough inside presence and some better D.

By the way, kudos as always to TNT for their endlessly entertaining NBA coverage. Unlike the bland ESPN or ABC, TNT is always worth checking out even if you've missed the game, if only for the sheer entertainment that is the team of Ernie, Charles, and Kenny Smith. If you haven't seen it, check out the parody video they did of a Kobe Bryant shoe commercial. So classic ...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yOh3NRBC_yI

- Okay, moving on ... have I mentioned I'm psyched for IRON MAN? Man, I was pretty optimistic about it already, but now that I've seen the early review heaping unanimous praise on the movie, I am pretty much bursting at the seams with excitement. I. AM. IRON MAN.

- Oh snap. I have been somewhat skeptical about THE INCREDIBLE HULK up to this point, but the newly-released trailer may just have made me into a true believer. Check it out - Hulk Smash!
http://www.apple.com/trailers/universal/theincrediblehulk/hd/

- Now, when will we get a teaser-trailer for WATCHMEN?

And I'm out, must go smash stuff.

The Kung-Fu Is Strong: FORBIDDEN KINGDOM Reviewed - Plus: Simpsons, KOTH, Family Guy, and MORE

Ah, it's good to eat bread.

I have to say though, I was pretty good this passover. I give some credit to the Warner Bros. commisary across from my building, as they have an excellent and well-stocked salad bar, which allowed me to eat chametz-free lunches throughout the work-week that were healthy to boot. And though I got by on crouton-free salads, orange chicken, matzoh-pizza, macaroons, and Crispy-O's ... well, it was nice, as always, to do the traditional post-passover pig-out of real (albeit West Coast) pizza, at post-Pesach staple CPK, with plenty of pieces of pre-meal bread, naturally.

All in all it was nice to have a relaxing weekend after last week's fun but exhausting trip to San Diego. Hung out with some of the NBC Page crew on Saturday in North Hollywood, took in a movie on Sunday, and generally watched a ton of NBA playoff basketball. I was happy to see the Suns live to fight another day and finally hand the Spurs a sound defeat. I was surprised to see the Celtics lose a game to the Hawks, though pretty impressed with Josh Smith and co in Atlanta. And I really enjoyed seeing yet another classic Houston vs. Utah matchup, gotta love watching those two teams go down to the wire yet again.

FOX SUNDAY NIGHT Roundup:

- THE SIMPSONS last night was a very mixed bag - the premise, of Bart getting overly attached to a cow he befriends as a member of 4H, only to see it sent to the slaughter - wasn't all that original or compelling. But this episode kept getting pulled back from the brink by a regular stream of funny moments or lines of dialogue. It was one of those episode where, just when I was feeling frustrated by the been-there-done-that nature of the plot (Bart gets married - again?!?), a great joke would surface and make me thing "hmm, this episode is actually not bad." (like all of Cletus' kids being named for what they would eventually do). I was also pretty impressed with the episode's stubborn refusal to branch out into random B-plots. Like the classic episodes of days gone by, this one took the whole half hour to tell its story. Maybe that's why, even when the plot felt like a retread or some of the jokes fell flat, this felt like a more substantial, more fully-realized episode than most modern-day eps. Was the plot all-over-the-place? Yep, pretty much, and it recycled the well-worn Bart-loves-a-doomed-animal plot to boot. But considering all that, this one was surprisingly solid.

My Grade: B

-I've talked about this before: sometimes, KING OF THE HILL will forego its solid but at times formulaic ways for an episode that can only be considered *really weird*. Last night was one of those strange episodes, an installment that felt a bit darker and more adult than a typical KOTH episode. The plotline was a bit convoluted, to be sure - After a string of terrible birthdays, Peggy decides that this will be the year where her party is the talk of the town, so she arranges to take part in a murder-mystery train ride - a 70's disco themed murder mystery, to be precise. At the last minute, Luanne is enlisted to replace one of the murder mystery actors, and before the production even begins, she tips off Dale as to the killer' identity. Dale promptly spoils the game, and Peggy's birthday seems to have been ruined yet again. The REAL strangeness begins when Hank tries to comfort a distraught Peggy, and in doing so, Hank does something very out of character, as he engages in ... "relations" with his wife right there in the train's restroom! Kahn notices some steamy footprints in the bathroom, and starts up a new murder mystery, enlisting the train passengers to figure out which of the many couples on board did the deed. Like I said - a very atypical KOTH plotline, and I was surprised how many different twists and turns it took, going from a story about Peggy's cursed birthday parties, to Hank and Peggy's sexual escapades (which I have to say, though odd for Hank, it was kind of hilarious to see his reaction, worrying that he could receive the "propane death penalty" as punishment), to the weirdness of having all the characters decked out in 70's disco apparel. In additon to all that randomness, there was the very strange subplot that saw Bobby, Joseph, and Connie home alone while their parents were away. Despite all three being young teens, they decided to spend their time ... building a fort? Hmmm, okay. So it was a pretty disjointed episode, with a somewhat adult A plot contrasting sharply with an oddly innocent B plot. Still, there were a ton of dialogue gems throughout. From Hank's approval of the train conductor ("fun in a controlled atmosphere!") to Lucky's expertise on solving mysetires via years of watching detective-show reruns. A strange, random episode - but definitely a memorable one.

My Grade: B

- Now, while both Simpsons and KOTH had enough going for them to make me forget some of my plot-oriented criticisms, FAMILY GUY last night had a few laughs but mostly just grated on me. I agree with some comments I've read on The Onion and elsewhere that Brian is usually most effective either when paired with Stewie or Peter. When Brian is meant to carry a story, especially as in last night's ep where it was alongside a one-shot character, you often get a flat-feeling episode. Overall, I tend to sour on FG when it feels more mean-sprited than satirical, and last night's ep was full of some pretty bitter humor. From Brian's old flame turning out to be a hideous monster, to his bastard son mostly being a murderous psycho, to an extended joke basically mercilessly bashing Matthew McConahay (sp?), I just found a lot in this episode to be generally pretty off-putting. I also thing this episode is a great example of how a joke is often funnier the more subtle it is. Back when Stewie was merely an effeminate baby with a murderous streak, he was often flat-out hilarious. Now that he's a full-on gay baby, the joke was already stale halfway through the episode as we were continuously beat over the head with this new out-and-proud status quo. It's too bad, because I thought FG was really gaining some momentum during its last run. It's a shame to see it devolve into a show that embraces its own worst tendencies.

My Grade: C

- Okay, now for a movie review. Because while last week I didn't end up getting into the free screening I was supposed to attend, this weekend, nothing would stop me from seeing Jet Li go at it with Jackie Chan in a kung-fu dream match. And thus I present to you:

THE FORBIDDEN KINGDOM Review:

- How great is your kung-fu? That was the question I asked of The Forbidden Kingdom as I sat down in the theater. And it was two hours later that I had my answer: the movie had a silly script, some wooden acting, and a nonsensical, acid-trip of a plotline. But was it's kung-fu grip strong? Indeed it was, Daniel-san. Indeed it was.

Basically, this movie is a kung-fu version of The Neverending Story. Same basic premise - picked-on loner type kid gets magically swept away into a fantasy world of high adventure, eventually returns to his world a better and stronger boy, and finally teaches those schoolyard bullies a lesson or two to boot. In this case, our hero is a geeky, martial-arts obsessed kid from Boston who looks like a cross between Shia LaBuff and a young Scott Bakula. His room is a shrine to Bruce Lee and The Shaw Brothers (it probably would be to Chan and Li as well, but that would be a bit weird, continuity-wise). He collects bootleg kung-fu flicks that he finds at a shady pawn shop run by a wise old Mr. Miyagi type. And yet, he's still kind of a geek, at the mercy of a bunch of cartoonish thugs who seem ripped out of the pages of 1970's comic book, complete with thuggish, "street" dialogue that might make Stan Lee cringe.

To sum up what happens from there ... well, let's see ... the thugs decide to rob the old man, things get (somewhat shockingly) violent when the lead thug shoots (!) Mr. Miyagi. But before he goes, the shop owner bequeeths some magical staff to our hero, Nice Jewish Boy, and - bam! - the staff transports the kid from Boston to a mythical land of kung-fu adventure that's like a mix of Crouching Tiger and Mortal Kombat.

There's then an overarching plot about how the staff is being sought by a ruthless warlord type, who used it to imprison a mythical monkey-king centuries ago. Thus begins the journey to free the monkey dude, as our young hero is joined by the Drunken Master himself, Jackie Chan (playing, well, a Drunken Master), a young warrior-woman with a knack for flinging deadly throwing-darts (a prerequisite for this type of movie), and by, well, Jet Li, playing a silent monk (I think he is actually named Silent Monk), who is in fact an aspect of the Monkey guy (so he too wants to get the spear back to Monkey, etc.).

Of course, all of this is essentially window-dressing so as to ppave the way for a number of sweet fight scenes. Now, a lot of what we see here is pretty typical wire-fu stuff. If you've seen Crouching Tiger, Hero, Iron Monkey, or House of Flying Daggers ... then you've probably seen a lot of the action stuff here done really well already. But the thing I appreciated about Forbidden Kingdom was that it knew what the real main event was - Chan vs. Li, baby. When the two first meet midway through the film and ave the inevitable misunderstanding resulting in fisticuffs, it feels like a bigtime brawl, baby. The film really nails the iconography inherent in two of kung-fu's all time legends going at it for the first time ever, and I was on the edge of my seat watching the two exchange flurries of punches, kicks, and countermoves. Sure, it was all under the guise of a kid-friendly fantasy flick, with both wearing goofy period costume and such, but somehow, it all worked. It's in part because, for all its wackiness, Forbidden Kingdom serves as a somewhat heartfelt tribute to the great martial arts movies. It is in a way an homage to Chan and Li, painting them as rival masters not of this world but of some mystical kung-fu land where each is like a god. It's goofy and fun, yet there is a real kind of love-letter dynamic at play. It's evident from the opening credits, which are displayed over a montage of old-time kung-fu movie posters. From the get-go, the movie gets you primed and ready to rumble.

Chan and Li are huge presences, but there are some other fun turns as well. Our lead villain is a classic pulp antagonist, hissing his EVIL dialogue with the prfect amount of reptilian venom. There's a white-haired witch, looking like an anime character come to life, who uses her retractable, silken hair as a deadly weapon. There's a lot of cool characters, that's for sure, and the movie has them frequently and satisfyingly fight it out early and often, with all the acrobatics, elaborate choreography, and crazy kung-fu stuff that you could hope for.

So yeah, the film brings the pain, but it also tends to bring the pain, if you know what I mean. Some of the dialogue really is painful, and oftentimes just plain hard to understand. As charismatic as Jackie Chan is, he still struggles to speak English and to really be an effective actor other than when the script calls for broad humor. Li is a bit more of an effective dramatist, and its a blast seeing him play both a strong and silent monk and the crazy, hopped-up Monkey King ... but again, his stilted English combined with the flat script does produce some cringe-worthy moments. What's most disappointing about the movie is that it has some great visuals, great action, two icons in Li and Chan, and a proven, time-tested and kid-friendly premise - but too much of it feels thrown together. If just a little more care had been given to the bookend scenes in the real-world, for example, the movie could have had the same kind of fairy-tale effect as kids classics like The Neverending Story. But we never really focus on the awe and wonder that would go along with being swept away into a fantasy world. Everything is just kind of taken at face value, and it gives the movie a somewhat sloppy feel. It's the kind of movie that COULD have been a real kids' classic with some better storytelling chops, but is instead frustrating in that it really misses the mark in terms of giving us a classic hero's journey. Our main character is swept away into this other world, almost instantly accepts his fate, and within minutes goes from geeky teen to martial arts master - with a character arc that feels haphazardly handled at best. It's a shame, because the movie reminded me of all those great kids movies from back in the day, and at times it really had that same sense of fun, awe, and wonder. But as is, Forbidden Kingdom is a movie chock full of kung-fu action, an iconic throwdown between Jackie Chan and Jet Li, but a movie that feels too hastily-thrown together to be measure up to the classics.

My Grade: B

- And with that, I'm out like a ninja, baby.

"Explain it to me in Star Wars." 30 Rock, Office, LOST, and Smallville - Reviewed!

Oh man, what a week. Thank jeebus it's Friday is all I can say.

I'll jump right in though, because man, last night was a ridiculous embarassment of riches in terms of good TV. For the first time in a while, the deck was truly loaded, and you had to have your remote control hand warmed up if you wanted to catch all the good stuff. It didn't help that the Rockets and Jazz had a barn-burner of a good game last night, which was a lot of fun to watch - shades of the great Houston vs. Utah rivalries of days gone by - but the game unfortunately caused me to miss a few snippets from some of the other good TV last night (I think I missed the ifrst 30 seconds or so of both 30 Rock and Lost .... as Liz Lemon might say: blurgh!).

Okay, onto the reviews:

THE OFFICE:

- I know, you were thinking I'd start with LOST, right? Well, the thing is, is that as good as Lost was last night, the big winners for me were NBC's pair of comedy superstars. Both returned to form last night, for me delivering their best and funniest episodes since they came back with new episodes following the writer's strike. The Office last night, as has been the trend the last few weeks, was DARK. But unlike the dinner party episode which was brilliantly twisted to the point of being more uncomfortable than funny, last night's ep was both pretty awkward and at times uncomfotable, but also laugh out loud hilarious. I loved all of the interaction with Michael, Dwight, and Ryan - their trip to NYC was just so well done, playing off some of the funniest aspects of Michael's persona - his longing to turn back the clock and be a swinging young bachelor, his longing for male companionship, his longing for female companionship (of a slightly different kind), and his weird man-crush on Ryan, where last night he was so happy to attach himself to Ryan, who he perceives as young, hip, and exciting, that he was totally blind to the fact that the guy was having a drug-induced meltdown. Like I said - very dark, but like I said, very funny. The fact that Michael ended the episode on Cloud 9 was the perfect capper. Meanwhile, Dwight was great with his strange belief that New York was some kind of alternate universe where hobbits and amazons roamed the streets. "Do you live in a normal-sized house?" Bwahaha ... Then, the stuff at the office was well done i nthat it set up Jim more and more as a guy whose happy-go-lucky demeanour covers up the fact that he isn't necessarilly a great planner, when his idea to stay late on a Friday in order to avoid coming in on a Saturday backfires, as the crew gets locked out of the parking lot. The best moment of this plotline came towards the end, when the slowly-building tension between Toby and Pam came to a sudden head, with Toby blatantly placing his hand on her thigh in full view of Jim ... and everyone else in the office. Jim, Pam, and Toby's reaction was totally awkward and absolutely hilarious, with perpetually morose Toby abruptly announcing his impending move to Costa Rica, running away from the group, jumping the fence, and jogging home. Classic. Also, Meredith getting hit in the face with a football was pretty funny as well. Anyways, this one was up there with the best Office episodes of the season - laughs, pathos, awkwardness - who can ask for more? And by the way, as anyone who works in the digital world can attest to, Ryan's misguided insistence that Dunder Mifflin's website inexplicably become a social networking destination was right on the money.

My Grade: A

30 ROCK:

- I've always said that 30 Rock is at its best when it avoids sitcom-style sappiness and focuses on its patented brand of off-the-wall, absurdist humor. So yeah, I was pretty happy with the comedic chaos that was last night's ep - a perfect storm of laughs, parodies, and great character moments that had me rolling. First off, great to see Will Arnett back on the show. His delivery as always was spot on, and the exchanges between him and Alec Baldwin were on the money, and even contained some unexpected sadness and empathy. Liz Lemon's transition from showrunner to corporate exec was pretty funny, and as someone who's worked on both comedy shows and with programming execs, there was some pretty on-the-money satire in that plotline. I loved how Liz's simple suggestion regarding GE microwaves became an instant hit, and wherever she went Liz was credited for coming up with "Button Classic," when all she did was reject a new design in favor of keeping the old one. Yep, sounds like GE alright ... (Whoops, did I just say that?). But the thing that drove this episode over the top for me was Tracy Morgan. The guy just makes me laugh. plain and simple. The gag of him shouting an exclamation, only for him to actually be saying someone's name, well, I don't know if that will ever get old (last night it was something like "Eureka! She'll know what to do." hahahaha). Tracy's plan to create the ultimate pornographic videogame was just inherently hilarious. "Explain it to me in Star Wars." Hahahaha ... The whole thing just had me in stitches, and a late-episode cameo by Chris Parnell only added to the overall awesomeness of the episode. Now THIS is the 30 Rock we've come to know and love. Eureka, indeed.

My Grade: A

LOST:

- Last night's LOST was a great return for a show that's been THE must-see-TV show of 2008. The show went out a few weeks ago with a couple of so-so episodes following the landmark "The Constant," but last night we got an ep that, if nothing else, kept me on the edge of my seat with a hearty mix of balls-to-the-wall action and breakneck storytelling. I guess where I might differ a little from some Lost fans is that I get kind of annoyed with Ben Linus. Yes, he's a great character, but I feel like the Lost writers at times fall a little too in love with him. In last night's ep, the focus was squarely on Ben, and I think some of my frustration with him is that he's been given SO many layers as a character, yet we still have no real idea what his actual deal is. To compare to another great sci-fi TV villain, look at the Cigarette Smoking Man of X-Files fame. In episodes like "Musings of a Cigarette Smoking Man," we got a ton of insight into the character that made him much more than simply a cookie cutter badguy ... but still, when push came to shove, he was a villain through and through. With Ben, there seems to be this whole notion that he is in fact on the side of the angels, and the writers on Lost now tend to emphasize this idea that, hey, maybe Ben's been fighting the good fight all along, and it's Whidmore and the others who are the real big bads. The problem with that is: Ben is clearly evil. In this episode, he LETS HIS OWN ADOPTIVE daughter die. So who could argue with Sawyer when he suggests that they just leave Ben to the wolves? I guess my only point is that Ben is long past the point of moral ambiguity, so let's stop pretending that his great master plan is somehow well-intentioned. The dude's stone-cold evil.

Anyways ... all that being said, it was a totally riveting hour of Lost last night. The island invasion by Whidmore's crew was action-packed and intense. Who didn't love the redshirts being knocked off one by one as Sawyer tried to warn them to stay back? The entire siege on Locke's compund was pretty riveting stuff, and it culminated in a nail-biting stand-off between Ben and Badass Whidmore Dude, that went against convention, or "the rules" as Ben stated, if you want to get meta about it, and saw the hostage actually gunned down, Ben's bluff called, and poor Alex a goner. A great, tragic scene, to be sure.

My one question -- the lead Whidmore attacker was the same guy we had seen on the boat with Sayid earlier, right? So, um, how did he get off the boat again? Did I miss something here? Anyone?

Otherwise, the flash-forwards with Ben tracking down Sayid (... and teleporting?!? What's what about?) were interesting. Apparently Ben now has combat skills equal to those of Jack Bauer, but hey I guess that's par for the course when you're an evil mastermind. I'm still a bit confused about the exact nature of time on the island - ie why was Ben confused about what year it was when he got to the mainland? And I also thought Sayid was a bit too hasty in joining with Ben on his quest, especially since Sayid is typically an "I demand answers" type of guy.

Still, any complaints had to have been somewhat negated by the awesomeness of the Smoke Monster devouring all of Whidmore's men at Ben's behest. And then Locke, nonplussed, admonishing Ben for saying that he didn't know what the monster was - nice. Finally, that last flash-forward scene with the bedside chat between Locke and Whidmore - very cool. Sure, it raised a lot of questions, but all of them are pretty darn intriguing. When Widmore said he knows who Ben is - what did he mean? What were "the rules" as Ben and Whidmore had agreed to them? And you have to wonder ... where is Penelope and/or Desmond in the flash-forward timeline? Might both be on the island, setting up a weird symbiosis in Ben and Whidmores' quests (Whidmore's looking for the island, Ben's looking for Penelope).

So yeah, I was at times a bit frustrated with the ep ... but, overall? This was an exciting, action-packed episode with some amazing bits of character, plot, and a lot of steam going into next week. Welcome back, Lost.

My Grade: A -

SMALLVILLE:

- Again, a pretty decent episode of Smallville that was hampered by the show's typical lazy writing. Chloe - is there anything she can't do? After making the point that she would have to up her computer-hacking game in order to make her way into top-secret NSA computer systems ... Chloe promptly breaches US government security and hijacks spy sattelites. Umm ... okay? Overall, this was a fun little episode that pitted Jimmy against Chloe in a kind of Mr. and Mrs. Smith riff. But after last week's grand plotting and epic fall of Lex, it seemed like the reset button was hit a bit this week, and things seemed to revert back to business as usual. This holds especially true with Lex - I was surprised to see the spotlight shift so far away from him after such a bigtime episode last week. So basically, while the focus on Jimmy was fun, it did have the air of being Filler en route to some big stuff that looks to be coming in the next few weeks. But geez, let's get to the good stuff already! They totally had me intrigued at episode's end, with the prospect of Clark visiting Krypton by means of time-travel. Now, next week looks to be yet another "what-if" type scenario, aka more filler. Come on, give us some epic ACTION already!Jimmy Olsen: secret agent is semi-entertaining, but I think Smallville fans are collectively dyin' for business to pick up.

My Grade: B

- Alright, that's it for now ... looking forward to a weekend that will hopefully include some rest, relaxation, and come Sunday night, some BREAD!

Politics and Basketball: If Ya' Smell What Barack. Is. Cooking.

So last night was not a good one for me in terms of rooting for my teams / political candidates of choice. First, the Suns blew a first-half lead to lose their second consecutive game to the Spurs. Second, Barack Obama lost the Pennsylvania primary to Hillary Clinton - an outcome that pretty much everyone predicted, but was still frustrating in that a surprise win for Obama would have cut off all of Clinton's momentum in one fell swoop.

- First, the Suns. I just think that the Suns are now basically DOA unless they really pull off a miracle at this point. The Spurs are too good and too consistent to lose 4 out of 5 games, and the Suns right now are just not 100% gelling as a team. You can see the conflict in the way they play. Most of the team is prone to playing a fast-paced, run n' gun game. Shaq however, has long thrived in a slower, half-court game. Sure, back in the day he could really run the court well for a big man, but you can just see him stuggle to fit in alongside Amare Stoudamire, who zooms across the court and plays above the rim. If Shaq isn't getting you offense, then he is not all that useful, and so it was no big surprise that the Suns came close to tying the game in the fourth quarter, after a long draught, once Shaq was out of the game. I think that Nash needs to do a better job of adjusting to the teammates he has on the floor. When Shaq is out there, run some post-ups and line the perimeter with three point shooters. When he's out, that's when you go old-school Suns and play small-ball. Nash needs to dictate the pace a bit more and stay in control of the ball -- even when he's played well, he's often looked out of sync with his teammates since the arrival of Shaq. As for the Spurs, you can't say enough about them as a team. When you have a former all-star like Michael Finlay coming in as a fourth or fifth option, you know you're stacked. Ginobli is playing ridiculously well right now, as is Parker. And Duncan is just a beast - easily one of the all-time greats at his position, what he sometimes lacks in killer instinct he more than makes up for in sheer skill and consistency. The scary thing about the Spurs is that, even though their first two games with the Suns have at time been close, it hasn't even really felt like the Spurs have been pushed to the limit yet. We've yet to even really see playoff perennials like Robert Horry utilized (you know he probably has at least one more big-time three left in him before all is said and done). The fact is that the Spurs are looking great - like a team that could easily, once again, go all the way.

It's interesting - all of the NBA playoff series thus far that have gone two games have ended up with one team having a 2-0 lead. I suspect that will change tonight with the Detroit-Philly game, but it still points to some formerly intriguing matchups that have so far failed to produce much competition. A lot of people, me included, thought Dallas would have one at least one of the two games agains New Orleans at this point. I thought Houston might have come out with something to prove against Utah. And I thought that a reinvigorated Wizards, with Arenas back in the lineup, might be able to upset LeBron and the Cavs. No such luck so far. The Suns, Mavs, Rockets, and Wizards are all now looking more and more like potential first round victims. And meanwhile, as the Celtics likely steamroll over Atlanta, it will be interesting to see when and if Boston finds a real challenge in the post-season.

- Now, as for last night's political events ... I think that it was yet another primary that kind of went according to schedule, even as many of us hoped it would go otherwise so we could finally have some closure. But while the Hillary camp was ecstatic about the win, the reality is that a.) it wasn't that big of a victory - the margin was low and Obama did much better than earlier polls had predicted, and b.) the Clinton victory in PA was one that even Obama's own campaign had long-ago predicted. If you listened to Tim Russert review the Obama campaign's leaked, internal primary-prediction guide, it relaly is amazing just how on the mark that document has been thus far. The good news for Obama supporters is that the document ultimately predicts an Obama win despite some late setbacks in states like PA. But with the next set of primaries still a few weeks away, I cringe at the thought of Hillary's continued tactics of Republican-style Obama bashing. It really does feel at this point that Clinton is literally scratching and clawing her way through the tail-end of the primary race, pouncing on Obama at every turn and adding her own criticisms to every piece of tabloid-fodder, sensationalist piece that comes around the bend. It's amazing to me how, in her victory speech last night, Clinton somehow painted herself as this scrappy underdog, fighting Obama's big money campaign. Are you kidding me? Obama RAISED those campaign contributions - most of which were from small donors. How can Clinton accuse Obama of having these sinister-seeming financial resources, when most of that pool comes from ordinary Americans? Meanwhile, Clinton dug deep into her family's own vast wealth to bolster her campaign's spending. Hypocritical much?

The whole thing just makes me wonder what Obama's counter-tactics should be. In his speech last night, Barack only briefly addressed Clinton, then moved on to his usual grand themes, emphasizing the differences between himself and John McCain. Part of me admires Obama for avoiding getting into much back and forth with Hillary, but part of me wants to see him take a little time and really rip into her - if he did, I don't think many would be able to argue that she didn't have it coming. The bottom line is, Hillary's negative tactics will only hurt the democratic party come general election time. All she can accomplish is to make those who dislike her feel even more strongly about their misgivings, and make those who support her have unnecessarily negative views towards Obama, who policy wise is not far removed from her, but is in danger of becoming a polarizing figure a la Hillary, mostly due to her own efforts to make him that way.

In any case, I hope that Obama can soon close this thing out, but even more I hope he can do so in a way that keeps the party united and strong. There's a great editorial in this week's Newsweek bashing John McCain and his ever-shifting policies. It's written by Anna Quindlen, who I'm not usually a fan of hers, but here she really hammers home her point that McCain has a long track record, by HIS OWN ADMISSION, of saying things and taking policy positions for the sole purpose of making himself more electable. It's something that will come back to bite him soon enough, but it's all the more reason NOT to divide the Democratic party, because there is then ample opportunity to divide the Republicans over McCain's totally inconsistent positions over the last several years and beyond. Check out the Newsweek editorial for more: http://www.newsweek.com/id/132860

- At least the presidential campaign got a dose of comic relief on Monday, when all three candidates presented taped messages that were aired on WWE's Monday Night RAW. Hearing all three use wrestling terminology was pretty hilarious and yes, pretty cringe-worthy, but it was all worth it just to finally here Obama say "if you smell what Barack is cooking!" That one's been a long time coming, dude.

Reviewing SARAH MARSHALL, San Diego, Passover, and MORE

Life is a highway, and I've been riding it all weekend long. Yep, seeing as how this year was the rare one in which the first two nights of Passover fell on a weekend, I decided to pack up and truck it down to San Diego to celebrate the seder with Aksel and his family. It was a long trip, and I set out a bit later than I intended, mostly due to being unable to pry myself away from the double-overtime Suns - Spurs Game 1 that was an instant playoff classic. But I arrived in San Diego, or more specifically Chula Vista, without getting lost or any other major incident, luckily enough. We had a nice seder, good food ... and the next day was fun as well, as Aksel, his sister Janice and I saw some of the sites of the Chula Vista area, and then took an impromptu trip down to Sea World. I believe I went to Sea World once when I was like seven, and that was in Florida, so even though it was already a bit late in the afternoon and I was getting nervous about heading home while there was still some light out, I said "dammit all" and agreed to spend a few hours with Shamu and co. So we did just that, spending the afternoon with sharks, walruses, and penguins. Then I set out again, hitting the road for the long drive back to Burbank. All in all though, a fun weekend - definitely a good way to kick off Passover and a nice excuse to get away from Hollyweird for a bit.

- And now I've got basically a week of Passover ahead of me. It still amazes me how the norm in LA seems to be to not keep the holiday in the least. I mean, I think I've accumulated too many years of Passover observance at this point to not observe its no-bread dietary regulations without a huge amount of guilt and self-loathing that would surely hit me if I were to become a true-blue LA Jew. All I know is, it was pretty frustrating this year trying to guage interest in doing something for the seders, whether it was going to an organized event or what have you, and having response be minimal to nil. Since when did one have to be a super-orthodox ultra-Jew to celebrate the holidays and enjoy a little culture and tradition?

- On the other hand, it is kind of a drag to try and keep kosher for Passover, no doubt about that. Especially for those of us who are cooking-impaired, and for those of us whose usual diet consists almost entirely of bread, grain, and wheat-based goods. But what I will say is this: after eight days of eating matzoh, salad, and chicken ... finally gorging yourself on pizza to mark the holiday's end is pretty much the greatest thing ever.

- No real TV stuff to talk about this week, at least in terms of reviews. One thing that a lot of people are debating is the hype / overhype factor going into tonight's return of GOSSIP GIRL. I'm finally all caught up on this season so far, so I feel like I can weigh in ... The show is good, really good - it's well-written, has a great young cast, and is entertainingly soapy without being ridiculously melodramatic. And let's face it - the marketing of the show has been brilliant these last few weeks. Call it annoying if you want, but all those ads brandishing over-the-top exclamations like "OMFG" are doing a great job at drawing attention to the show. And it's to the show's credit that it hasn't really had any OC-like super-huge plot twists yet - when something really big DOES happen, it will feel much more legit than if there hadn't been this slow build. So yeah - all of that stuff about Gossip Girl being a #1 show on iTunes and whatnot really doesn't mean jack - I can tell you firsthand that the only tangible benefit of that standing in the Apple rankings is a bit of good PR. But good PR is exactly what the show needs and what it's getting, so kudos to CW for actually marketing a show correctly for once and making a real effort to grow a franchise. Why oh why couldn't they have done the same for Veronica Mars?

FORGETTING SARAH MARSHALL Review:

- I don't think the trailers did a great job of conveying just how funny this movie is. I wasn't sure quite what to expect going in, but I remained optimistic - in paper, Sarah Marshall had all the trappings of an A-level flick from the Judd Apatow comedy factory. A former member of the Freaks and Geeks ensemble getting his much-deserved spotlight? Check. A host of Apatow-land guest stars, from Paul Rudd to Jonah Hill? Check. A script that mixes broad comedy with conversational humor that smartly looks into the mind of the post-adolescent male? Check. So I shouldn't have really been surprised - this was another film on par with 40 Year Old Virgin, Knocked Up, and Superbad - a hilarious movie that I daresay had the overall best and funniest script of any Apatow flick to date, thanks to Jason Segal. The point is, this is top to bottom one of the funniest comedies I've seen in a while, and certainly one of the best films of 2008 thus far.

To start, it's just great to see Jason Segal getting the spotlight. I've recently been rewatching some Freaks and Geeks, and on the second run-through, it's amazing how Segal's Nick stands out as perhaps the series' overall most interesting character, responsible for some of the series' funniest and most memorable moments. Who can forget Nick serenading Lindsay with a 100% awkward rendition of Styx's "Lady," for example? So classic. In any case, Segal brings that same awkward, droopy yet overly-expressive energy to this film, and it's a lot of fun to see. Like Seth Rogen in Knocked Up, you get the sense that Segal isn't playing a character too far removed from his own experiences and personality - and that's probably even truer here, where much of the script is supposedly based on Segal's own experiences with bad break-ups. That feeling of authenticity is really on display here - and really, it's all the little details that make things pop. From Segal's rendency to eat cereal from a gigantic mixing bowl, to his spontaneous imitation of Gandalf from Lord of the Rings, to the way he admires himself in the mirror in the morning - the movie instantly grounds itself in a kind of everyday reality that has been the trademark of Apatow's comedies to date. It's that comedy of recognition that helps to make the movie so funny - I mean, who hasn't walked around with a stick and bellowed "You shall not pass!" in their best Ian McKellan voice? Anyone? Anyone?

But I digress - the genius of these Apatow movies is how they deftly mix these very grounded characters and dialogue with moments of really broad, laugh-out-loud comedy. The wackier stuff is present in Sarah Marshall thanks to reliable supporting actors, the kind of people who instantly make you smile when they show up. I mean, who doesn't love Jack McBrayer, aka Kenneth the Page on 30 Rock? In less hilarious hands, his character here - a guy on his honeymoon overwhelmed by the desires of his wife - might have been annoying. But McBrayer is so good at playing naive and befuddled that he never fails to deliver big laughs. Same goes for Paul Rudd - the guy just has awesome comic timing, dating back to his Wet Hot American Summer days. His character here, a stoned-out surf instructer, is actually way funnier than the trailers indicated. Jonah Hill may be a bit of a weak link here, as his character does grate a little by the film's end. Nonetheless, Hill has some funny bits, and delivers some great setups for Russel Brand ...

And Russel Brand, a British comedian, is hilarious in the film as pop-star Aldous Snow. He steals many a scene with his laid-back, sex-guru persona, and some of his lines are simply classic. This guy needs to be in more movies, that much is for sure. Both of our leading ladies are similarly very good in their roles, and do a great job of playing off of Segal and Brand while not being strictly one-dimensional love interests. Kristen Bell is particularly good as the title character, Sarah Marshall. No secret that I've been a big Bell supporter due in large part to my love for Veronica Mars, but it's honestly hard to think of another actress who could have played Sarah with such a great mix of realism and movie-star glamour. Bell paints a pretty vivid picture of a woman at the very beginnings of stardom, who still has one foot in the more mundane world of Segal and his huge bowls of cereal, and one foot in the world of Hollywood and rock stars and paparazzi. I'm sure a big part of Bell's authenticity is that Sarah Marshall probably isn't too far removed from Bell's own experiences as an up-and-comer in Hollywood. Similarly, Mila Kunis does a nice job as a perky resort receptionist who befriends the depressed Segal. I'm sure people will be tempted to knock her, but I thought she was handled the role of rebound-girl well. I always thought she did a good job as Jackie on That 70's Show (which gets a lot of crap, but was a really well-done sitcom in its prime), so it was cool to see her in such a big role.

But really, once again, this movie does such a great job of making depression funny thanks to Segal. A lot has been said about the amount of, um, exposure that Segal enjoys in the film, but it's really makes sense in terms of the plot and character arc that the movie is going for. This is a guy who is pretty emotionally and socially naked - just as you couldn't help but cringe yet laugh as Segal belted out "Lady" in the Freaks and Geeks days, the same holds true here. Without spoiling too much, there is a moment here where Segal is urged to peform a song he's been working on from his pet project - a puppet musical about Dracula (yep, you read that right). Suddenly, in his best Bela Lugosi singing voice, Segal is going all-out, belting out the absolutely hilarious lyrics to his Dracula song with total sincerity and conviction, in front of a room of total strangers who have no clue what they are witnessing. The moment is honestly one of the funniest I've seen on film - and it's partly because of the craziness of the voice and the lyrics and partly because it feels so raw and honest. When Segal puts himself out there, he really puts himself out there.

And that's why I can't recommend Forgetting Sarah Marshall enough. Of all of the Apatow comedies, I think it feels the most honest, the most authentic. It's amazing too because in the end it is, essentially, a romantic comedy, a genre which is notoriously NOT funny. And yet I think I laughed about as much here as I did for 40 Year Old Virgin or Knocked Up ... but I left the theater feeling even more satisfied, because the story felt more authentic and better told. Are there flaws? Sure -- the plot does drag a bit, and the movie does feel a little overly long. The rebound relationship between Segal and Kunis was a little too Nora Effron-romantic comedy-ish for my tastes as well -- it didn't quite gel with the overall tone of the film. But those are mostly nitpicks - the bottom line is this was a hilarious movie and certainly, the reigning king of comedy so far in '08. And holy lord, someone make the puppet Dracula musical as soon as humanly possible.

My Grade: A -


- Okay, happy Monday. Time for a healthy lunch of ... um ... geez Passover is rough.

Some Much-Needed Political Smackdowns, Plus: Smallville, the Office, 30 Rock, and MORE

Finally, the blog returns. The last few weeks have been a bit crazy, so I've had little time to write here, and I don't like that I've gotten into this weird only-write-on-Mondays-and-Fridays patterns ... but I guess for now it is what it is, so, let's go.

- So who watched the big Obama vs. Hillary debate on Wednesday night? I kind of agree with the peanut gallery that the first round of questions, largely focused on tabloid-ish issues, came off as hacky and desperate on the part of the ABC moderators. On one hand, I do think there was a degree of public demand to here Obama address some of the various mini-scandals that have plagued him the last few weeks. On the other, the whole thing reeks of the press playing into its own self-perpetuated hype machine. After all, did the average person really take that much offense to Obama's "bitter" comments? Polls say that no, they didn't. And personally, if you had shown me Obama's words without any editorial commentary, I wouldn't have been offended in the least. I mean, remind me again what's wrong with calling people bitter? There are a lot of bitter people out there, and guess what - it's often the bitter people who are the ones ranting about the liberal media, ranting about their right to bear arms, and ranting about how the entertainment industry is rotting our country's moral values. Personally, I enjoyed Obama's comment because it felt honest, and it felt like it cut through the crap and made a very un-political yet still valid point.

Anyways, I do think that Obama surprised some people in that he didn't always seem to have great, tidy answers to some of the more pointed questions thrown his way at the debate. However, I also think that most of those questions focus on issues that are only marginally relevant to the campaign. Politicians and people active in public life constantly associate with unsavory characters, and a tenous connection between two people doesn't necessarilly mean anything beyond a brief an unmeaningful association. The tables could easily be turned on Hillary if someone decided to stoop that low, and there is this unwritten rule that people can't really ask about her relationship with her husband. And probably, it's best that they don't. My point is only that you can't have it both ways. If Hillary wants to really get into it with Obama about why he didn't immediately leave his Church once it was clear that his pastor had made certain disrespectful comments ... well, I mean, isn't it obvious? Couldn't the EXACT same question be posed of Hillary - why didn't she immediately leave her husband when she found that he had had an illicit affair? In both cases, there are complex reasons behind each decision, a mix of personal and professional justifications. So how can Hillary have it both ways? It just pisses me off that she could easily have taken the high road on these questions pitched towards Obama and leave them be - and yet she constantly jumps in and adds how SHE would have left that church or how SHE would be cautious when considering who Obama associates himself with. She could EASSILY have just let the issues speak for themselves - I mean in a campaign like this it's inevitable, in any case, that her various campaign managers and supporters would focus in on these criticisms of Obama, without her having to get her hands dirty.

In sum, that's what really bothers me about Hillary. Everything with her feels like a clear and calculated TACTIC. And as Obama has pointed out, that kind of mentality has long been the domain of the GOP, so it's especially disheartening to see her adopt this mindset, even at this point in the race when, very soon, as she keeps pointing out, the democratic party is going to have to really put on a united front if it hopes to win the White House.

Now, I have to say I was disappointed in both candidates for their stand in the debate on gun control. I am honestly sick of political figures kissing up to the gun enthusiasts and always making it a point to praise the second amendment and dutifuly acknowledge the sacred ritual of father and son bonding over a good round of hunting. I'm sorry, but this is CRAP, and I wish someone like an Obama would just come out and say it. If the best way a father knows how to bond with his son is to go out and shoot animals, then that is one seriously f'd up relationship in my book! I'm not advocating repealing the 2nd Amendment or anything, but I just don't see why there can't be a serious crackdown on gun ownership to absolutely ensure that only certain types of guns are sold and that only people willing to go through extensive background checks can purchase a gun. But from jsut a cultural perspective, it's such a ridiculous bit of hypocracy. I love how politicians can, in the same breath, talk about how great it is when a father and son go hunting and then condemn movie and videogame violence which is pure fantasy and fiction. Ugh.

Anyways, political rant over for now ... time to talk about important matters like television.

- Oh, but first a quick update ... I was supposed to see an advance screening of THE FORBIDDEN KINGDOM last night ... I was pumped too, as come on, it's Jet Li and Jackie Chan in the same movie. That's the martial arts equivalent of Superman vs. Batman or Hulk Hogan vs. The Ultimate Warrior. Unfortunately, we didn't quite get the memo that our tickets were merely first-come, first-serve, so we got to the Arclight theater in Hollywood pretty early, but were greeted by a looooong line of eager kung-fu fans many of whom had been in line for hours. The place was a madhouse, as that same night the Arclight was ALSO hosting the red-carpet premiere for the Harold and Kumar sequel. Yikes. At least I got to see Rob Cordry walking the red carpet. Kind of cool. But, man, I really have a strong desire to see some Jet / Jackie smackdowns. Next week ...

TV STUFF:

- Okay, I will start with SMALLVILLE, as already today I've had a little debate about this one with some fellow fans. Here's the thing - last night's ep was a pretty damn good piece of storytelling in many respects - there was real drama amongst the characters, and as a showpiece for the great Michael Rosenbaum as Lex Luthor, it really was a quality episode. But what brought this episode down for me was just all of the annoying and lazy conventions that plague nearly every episode of Smallville. Everyone in earshot getting knocked out cold JUST before Clark swoops in and uses his powers to save the day. Clark traipsing into Lex's inner sanctum totally without conflict - doesn't Lex have his security dudes under orders to keep him out at this point?!? And as my friend Seth pointed out, why is everyone on this show now a master computer hacker? It's just juvenile stuff like this that hurts episodes that would otherwise be considered very good or great. I mean last night had some really truly GREAT stuff. That opening scene with Lex and Lionel was inarguably badass. I doubt Lionel has actually bitten the big one (if so, it is lame to kill him off in the first 5 minutes of an episode with barely any fanfare), but even so it's always a lot of fun to see the two Luthor's square off. I also really liked the recurring theme of Lex battling his inner child. It could have come off as ultra-cheesy, but I actually thought it was handled well and really emphasized that Lex was undergoing a traumatic change, crossing a line. When Lex symbollically did away with his Young Lex aspect, the kid yelling at him that he didn't have to kill Lionel, and Lex screaming back "I had no other choice!", it was a reall dramatic moment - great stuff. Like I said, at its best, this ep was simply a superb showcase for Michael Rosenbaum as Lex, and it really makes one sad that he won't be a regular next season. If next season goes on sans Lex and Lionel, it will really suffer for it. For now though, I'm mostly enjoying the ride, and I can only hope that the show can overcome some of those inherent problems with its storytelling style in order to really deliver episodes that are not just "good for Smallville" but just honest to goodness great TV. And as one last aside - I did LOVE, in the preview for next week, the shot of Lex in the arctic that seemed lifted right from Alan Moore's classic "Whatever Happened to the Man of Tomorrow?" - kickass.

My Grade: B+

- THE OFFICE had a much lighter episode than in recent weeks, during which the show had taken a decidedly darker turn. While it was nice to see the show return to an actual office setting and get back to bit players like Kevin, Creed, et al, I felt that this week almost overcompensated and was a bit too cartoonish and sappy for my tastes. Michael forcing his employees to set him up on dates with their friends seemed over the top, even for Michael. And then, when he did go on a date with Pam's nice-but-not-exactly-stunning landlord, I couldn't help but be reminded of a similar setup on the British Office. Now, the US version has always faltered in my mind when it tries to ape its British cousin ... and last night, I just wasn't crazy about Steve Carell's much more cartoonish take on his date with a less-than-attractive woman as compared to Ricky Gervais' instant-classic version. Gervais played the moment as brilliantly awkward and embarrassing - a memorable mix of male ego clashing with lowered expectations. And it points to a fundamental corner that the Office writers have painted themselves into with Michael Scott, which is that post-Jan relationship, who exactly is Michael Scott? It's almost an element that seems to needlessly complicate his character. Prior to the Jan relationship, Michael's date would have been much more interesting, in my mind - ie, if this was the only woman he could actually "get," would he be so quick to dismiss her? Now he can simply justify his rejection in his own mind by flashing the picture of his old, hot girlfriend as proof that he needn't bother with someone less attractive. It makes Michael more complex of a character, but at the same time it kind of distracts from the real core of who that character is - a loser who has no grasp on reality when it comes to women, among other things. In any case, there were some really great moments here, though to me most of the best came from the peripheral characters. Kevin was great in this one - you really had to feel for the guy when he stated that "he needed that win." Dwight never fails to crack me up with his dutiful responses to even the most absurd of Michael's requests. Rainn Wilson is flipping awesome. Now, I liked some of the interplay between Jim and Pam, but I still don't like when their relationship is kind of artifically thrust into the spotlight and we start getting into manufactured drama like "will he or won't he propose." That said, I think there is some subtle and interesting stuff going on, with maybe some growing tension between the two, and I appreciate how the show has things we see on camera and things that are bubbling below the surface - not many shows can pull of that kind of multilayered storytelling. All in all though, I thought the episode was light fun but not the show at its best. The main Michael Scott plotline was just a little much, and some of it had already been done to perfection by Ricky Gervais and co. But yeah, Andy's speech about the "little guy?" Funny stuff.

My Grade: B

- 30 ROCK I thought made some imporvements over last week's ep. For one, there was more Tracy Morgan! Morgan once again stole the show last night with some absolutely hilarious scenes that were awesomely random. The whole concept of him embracing the Republican party was comedic gold, and the dream sequence with Alec Baldwin as Richard Nixon, triggered by Tracy listening to "We Didn't Start the Fire," which got stuck on the word "Nixon," was so crazy as to be incredible. There were also some very funny moments with Kennth the page showing around an old-timey TV personality played by Tim Conway, who was hilarious in his deadpan, very Un-PC comments about the golden age of television. I was cracking up when he walked into the writer's room and exclaimed that they used to call it "the Jew room." Oy. I thought the main, Liz Lemon plot was decent though but never 100% clicked, as she struggled with whether or not to get back together with our old friend the Beeper King. Overall though, a very funny episode that was absolutely packed with great lines.

My Grade: A -



- Okay, I'm out - time for the weekend, and, oy, time for Passover - the holiday that ivariably makes me sick by depriving me of my main source of sustenance, that being BREAD and bread-related products. So Happy Passover to everyone - I'm headed to San Diego tomorrow to sit down for Seder with the Axe-Man. Back later with an update. ROCK.