A Review of the Dark, Disturbing, and Unforgettable PRECIOUS.

PRECIOUS Review:

- The bottom line on Precious is that it ranks up there as one of the most powerful and affecting movies so far this year. At the same time though, it's dark, bleak, and sometimes simply hard to watch. You've got to admire it for not pulling punches. Precious left me feeling like I'd just been punched in the gut, but I'm also glad I had the opportunity to spend some time in its world. This is a movie that's about people and places that you rarely see in the glamorized world of the movies. This is a movie about ugly people (on the outside and in) and ugly places. Like last year's Slumdog Millionaire, it's a movie that wholly transports you into a world of poverty, abuse, sickness, and brutality. But while Slumdog was a modern-day fairytale of sorts, Precious is definitely not. There are no happy endings, and this is no fable. In Precious, the fantasy elements are strictly confined to the imagination of the title character. She imagines herself as a movie star and pop diva, transports herself into these personas in her darkest, scariest moments. But the character's reality remains grim and hard. The bittersweet triumph of the movie is that somehow, Precious trudges on and doesn't give up. Given her circumstances, the very fact that she pushes forward at all is her own brand of victory.

The movie tells the story of a teenage girl living in Harlem in the 1980's. Precious lives in a dilapidated apartment with her abusive mom-from-hell, who lives off welfare with no intent of ever finding a job. She's content to sit around all day watching TV, verbally abusing Precious and essentially treating her as a slave. Precious' absentee father was also abusive. He raped his own daughter on multiple occasions, leaving her with one incestuously-conceived, Down Syndrome-afflicted baby, and another on the way. Precious nightmare of a home life is more than enough to make school a burden. Even when Precious tries to focus on her studies, her mother barks at her to forget about schoolwork and concentrate on keeping their welfare going. Even though Precious has a talent for math, her mother repeatedly tells her that she'll never amount to anything.

The turning point for Precious comes when a school counsellor recommends her for an alternative learning program for teens from troubled backgrounds. Precious practically wills herself to attend the program, grasping for anything that could be means of escaping from her personal hell. Once there, she finds an encouraging teacher and classmates who become some of her first real friends. Now, this is where many movies would fall into cliche and just become feel-good fables about coming up out of the ghetto and making something of yourself, etc. But Precious doesn't just magically become a success story. Even after she joins her new program, the hardships continue to pile up, and her situation at home becomes even more tumultuous. There are moments of happiness and humor, but there's never that sunshine-and-lollypops moment of glee. The movie is unabashadly dark and gritty and grotesque, and even the funny moments have a kind of gallows-humor quality to them.

Something that's going to get a lot of attention come Oscar time is that Precious features many outstanding performances, all of which are from either complete unknowns, or else from actors who you'd never expect had such dramatic talent in them. First off, newcomer Gabourey Sidibe is pretty remarkable as the title character. As Precious, Sidibe is stoic, almost emotionless - a hardened, damaged young woman who has endured the absolute worst that life has to offer. And yet, bottled up somewhere deep is real emotion, real intelligence, real warmth. Sidibe makes it all feel so natural, so organic. This really is a breakthrough performance - no question. Sidibe is very good and very powerful as Precious, but perhaps even more memorable is comedienne Mo'Nique as her mother, Mary. Mo'Nique is just plain scary in this role. She plays a severely screwed-up, evil, abusive woman who is sometimes funny, but, more often than not, a true monster. Mo'Nique has moments in this movie that are just plain disturbing, and some of her diatribes will stick with you for a long time to come. The more we understand the psychology of Mary, the more ugly she becomes. This is a brave, soul-baring role for Mo'Nique, and I think that Oscar talk is definitely warranted.

The rest of the cast is also very strong. Before this movie, Mariah Carey was not someone who you thought of as a good or even competent actress, but the fact is that she does well in this one. Her role as a concerned welfare counsellor is fairly minimal, but she fits right in with the rest of the cast, and has some pivotal scenes with Precious and her mother. Rock mainstay Lenny Kravitz also appears in the movie as a male nurse who becomes friendly with Precious. Again, his role is pretty small, but he does a surprisingly good job with it. I'd also emphasize just how de-glamorized nearly everyone in the movie is. Carey especially is almost unrecognizable. I don't know what that says about her usual look, but here, her character is suitably tired and worn looking. She'd have to be, with the kinds of hopeless, hard-luck characters she has to deal with on a regular basis.

The one character who is a bit more glamorous is Paula Patton as Precious' cool, alternative-school teacher, with the appropriately hipster-ish name of Blue Rain. Patton treads the line of being the cliched "cool inner-city teacher" character, but I think she does a nice job with the role and helps elevate it beyond what it might have been in less capable hands. I like that her character serves as an example of a successful and urbane African American woman, who has carved out a niche for herself, yet is still marginalized to a large degree, for various reasons that I won't spoil. Suffice it to say, there's an interesting dynamic that develops, as her relationship with Precious evolves over the course of the movie.

Precious is a powerful, impactful movie, and it's a really strong effort from director Lee Daniels. Daniels immerses you in the movie's claustrophobic and grimy inner-city setting, and he has no qualms about painting his actors in a stark, unflattering light. I do think though that the movie just misses the mark of being a flat-out "A." There are just a number of moments where you expect the script to deliver a knockout punch, and yet the impact isn't quite as huge as it might have been. It's a tricky balance, because the tone of the movie can be a bit all over the place. There are moments of real levity and humor mixed in with the melodrama, and then there are the fantasy sequences that, while interesting reflections on Precious' psyche, can sometimes feel a bit too typical for such a complex and unique character. And again, there is the fact that the movie ultimately proves so bleak of a narrative that it's almost hard to know what, exactly, to take away from it. There are rays of hope, sure, but in the end, the fact remains that this movie is abuses its lead character almost to a fault. The old adage of "it can always be worse" seems to be playing out before our eyes, and that can be hard to take as a viewer.

Still, Precious is a must-watch in that it goes to the places that most other movies won't. Like I said, nothing about this movie is glamorized. Precious is a sullen, overweight, odd-looking, inner-city teen girl who is about as far removed from a typical Hollywood protagonist as you can possibly get. Her life is one big struggle just to survive and endure, and with this movie we go along with her for part of that ride. It's a tribute to the narrative that you have to wonder aloud that this movie isn't based on a true story. It feels so real and authentic that it feels like more than just fiction. It feels like Precious is a real person who we've spent time with and empathized with and lived with. This is a movie that feels real, and yet takes us to a place that for most will be strange and terrifying and disturbing, and you feel slightly traumatized by it, and yet richer for having gone there. That's the mark of a powerful film.

My Grade: A-

The Man Who Stares at a Computer Screen: THE MEN WHO STARE AT GOATS Review, Plus: Smallville, Family Guy, and MORE!

Well, I'm back from a three-day weekend with a lot to talk about. It's funny, apparently NBCU was the only company on the planet to actually have Monday off. Not that I'm complaining, mind you ... it just made me feel slightly awkward to have no work when everyone else seemed to. The upside of that was that I was able to do a bunch of errands in the afternoon without the hassle of big crowds. I even went to the Glendale Galleria and found a parking space within like 5 seconds of arrival -- amazing.

Now, there's something about a three-day weekend - the lack of time pressure, the feeling of it being a special occasion, whatever - that makes it perfect for a double feature at the movies. I already wrote of said double feature over the weekend, so check out my review of THE BOX if you haven't already. But stay tuned in this very column for a review of another interesting weekend movie - THE MEN WHO STARE AT GOATS.


First though, some TV STUFF:

- I've been excited to talk about Friday's episode of SMALLVILLE. As I was watching it off the DVR on Saturday, I kept doing double-takes -- was this episode of Smallville actually sort of ... awesome?! The fact is, this was a freaking epic episode of TV. It had almost none of the usual Smallville relationship melodrama, instead focusing on an intense, action-packed storyline involving the younger version of Zod ,who's been lurking in the background throughout the season. For a while now, I've expressed annoyance with this new Zod and how he and his Kryptonian army have just been wandering around with no explanation, seemingly contradicting the character's previous appearances on the show. Well, I was very pleasantly surprised to find out that the story of this younger Zod and how he happened to end up on earth was actually very well done. In fact, it was downright kickass in parts. I mean, the episode opened with a scene straight out of a big-budget Superman movie - a bloody battle on Krypton that turned very ugly, prompting friends Zod and Jor-El to work together to create a contingency plan should such wholesale destruction ever happen again. Joe-El creates a sphere containing the DNA of many of Krypton's elite soldiers as well as his own, and sends it to earth as a sort of worst-case-scenario contingency plan. Years later, the sphere is triggered on earth (where Clark Kent is already a twenty-something), and Zod and Jor-El, once friends, are now at odds, as Zod looks to assemble a superpowered, conquering army. Pretty cool stuff - it felt a lot like some of the themes currently being explored in the Superman comics' "New Krypton" storyline, and it was way more serious and intense than your average ep of Smallville. A lot of the credit has to go to the top-notch actors who brought Zod and Jor-El to life. Not since John Glover was a regular as Lionel Luthor has the show seen such dramatic heavywights - Callium Blue as Zod finally got a meaty script to chew on in this ep, and Julian Sands, as Jor-El, brought a badass Bri'ish accent and some real *gravitas* to the episode. And it was nice to see an episode where Tom Welling got to do more than brood or pine for Lois. This one had real stakes, real emotion. And there were a lot of cool little touches to boot, that really helped to give the episode a "big" feel. I loved, for example, a scene where Jor-El is brought before the Kryptonian high council, in a scene that looked straight out of the old-school Superman movies, complete with floating disembodied heads ominously giving Jor-El their orders. Meanwhile, the ending of the episode actually packed a punch - rare for Smallville. The episode still suffered from some of the same clunkiness of other recent eps, and there also still seemed to be some sizable holes in the whole Zod storyline. But man, this was, at the end of the day, a pretty damn good episode of Smallville.

My Grade: A-

- Sunday saw not one but two episode of FAMILY GUY, in what FOX was marketing as basically an all Seth McFarlane, all-the-time night of television. I didn't even bother to watch the Seth McFarlane-hosted variety special thing, but I heard it was pretty awful so, no, I don't feel too bad about missing it. As for the Family Guy, well, it was definitely the tale of two episodes. The first was actually pretty decent - it involved Brian the dog striking up a relationship with an older (human) woman. At first, he defends the relationship even as the rest of the family makes fun of him, but ultimately, he realizes that it wasn't meant to be. It reminded me a bit of the recent Michael Scott-dates-Pam's mom plotline on The Office, and the episode had a bit more of a sustained story than most FG eps of late. There were a couple of pretty funny old-people-are-weird jokes, and overall, it was an alright ep of FG. The second episode though, featuring an android Miley Cyrus and a spotlight on the evil monkey that haunts Chris' bedroom, was pretty awful. The humor fell flat, and the whole ep just felt like it was really reaching for material. I mean, did we really need an episode centered around the long-running Evil Monkey gag? No, we did not.

My Grades:

Ep #1: B
Ep #2: D

- Meanwhile, even if it's not spectacular or anything, I have to say I've been solidly enjoying THE CLEVELAND SHOW. Despite the usual Seth McFarlane touches - talking animals, random cutaways, etc. - the show feels way more grounded than Family Guy, where entire characters have been reduced to one-note jokes (Meg, anyone?). But The Cleveland Show has actually developed some fun characters (I love Cleveland Jr.), and also settled on a nice balance of traditional sitcom storytelling with Family Guy-style craziness. To that end, I got a kick out of Sunday's ep, in which Cleveland Jr. takes a virginity pledge, much to his father's dismay. Like I said, Cleveland Jr. is prob the best character on the show, so I've been enjoying the focus on him in the last couple of episodes. This isn't yet on the level of old-school Family Guy, but it's becoming a solid Sunday night performer.

My Grade: B+


- So last night was GOSSIP GIRL's big "three-way" episode, as has been hyped by the CW for weeks. It's funny, because the three-way-dance (if you weeel), was far and away the most interesting part of the episode, particularly in terms of how it will affect future storylines. Vanessa has always been a character who is supposed to be "good", at least in the morally relativistic world of Gossip Girl, and yet, she's done a lot of pretty semi-evil crap over the years. That has ultimately made her one of the most annoying characters on the show, because she seems to always get a pass - and still acts the show's voice of concious - no matter how low she sinks. So I guess it's kind of intriguing that Vanessa's participation in the "Dan Humphrey Dream Scenario" might have some serious fallout in the episodes to come. A war between Vanessa and Hillary Duff could be pretty juicy stuff. But otherwise, this episode was sort of bland. They need storylines for Blair and Nate that don't involve high school (seeing as how they're in college). And the larger problem is that Blair and Chuck are becoming too quasi-sympathetic and rational. Please make them *evil* again. And the Jenny vs. Eric drama seems pretty contrived - I mean, what does he really have to gain by "taking her down for good"? But yeah, the Dan-centric love triangle stuff could get interesting. Jeez, how did that guy go from underdog loser to movie-star-dating, grade-A college pimp?

My Grade: B


And now, the aforementioned movie review ...


THE MEN WHO STARE AT GOATS Review:

- The Men Who Stare at Goats is a pretty good movie, but it feels like a movie that could and probably should have been great. All of the ingredients are there - an all-star cast, and a fascinating, true-life premise. But some fundamental problems keep this from being all that it could be, so to speak. The structure of the movie is odd, the humor is hit-or-miss, and the narrative, rather than providing real insight into the characters or plot, is ultimately just kind of there. Still, this is a fun and entertaining movie, and the cast is so talented that they can basically carry the movie on charisma alone. It's worth checking out, but it's definitely not in the Coen Bros. class of seriously funny screwball satire which it clearly aspires to be in.

The movie tells the somewhat-true story of a fringe division of the US military that was active in the late stages of the Cold War, circa the early 80's. This group of hippies, new-agers, and peaceniks seemed like an odd fit for the armed forces, but at the time, the government was looking for new-wave alternatives to traditional combat, given the non-traditional nature of the Cold War. When word gets out that the Russians were experimenting with psychic soldiers and other such out-there craziness, the US wanted to stay competitive. And that's where The Men Who Stare At Goats come in. The movie checks in with these former psychic warriors during the early days of the Iraq War - during which a frustrated reporter, Bob Wilton (Ewan McGregor) stumbles into one of them, and smells the story of a lifetime. Wilton meets Lynn Cassady (a 'stache-sporting George Clooney, in his default "cocky goofball" mode), and tags along with him as the former psychic agent sets out on a secret mission to reunite with his former brothers-in-arms. The movie then alternates between the 00's, with McGregor and Clooney getting into trouble in Iraq, and the 80's, where we see, in flashback, the early days of Clooney and co.'s new-age army corps.

Personally, I wasn't crazy about the constant flashes back and forth. It seemed that all the best material was in the flashbacks, and I didn't really get why the movie wasn't just a straight narrative that took us from the group's post-Vietnam beginnings to the present day. Part of the problem is that McGregor's character is basically a black hole of personality. I don't think this is Ewan's fault, per se, but the fact is that Bob Wilton is a pretty poorly-drawn character who you never really get behind. There are also a lot of references made by McGregor to the Jedi and using the power of the Jedi, etc. - I'm not sure if this is meant to be an ironic joke or not, but it just comes off as kind of awkward watching Obi-Wan sound all gee-whiz about Jedi stuff. Meanwhile, the best character in the movie might just be Jeff Bridges as Bill Django, the pony-tailed hippie who was the main man behind the whole psychic soldier initiative. Jeff Bridges just rocks, plain and simple. And the fact is, in a movie full of big-name actors sort of reprising the past roles that made them famous, none is as iconic or just plain awesome as seeing Bridges in full-on Lebowski mode. The initial coolness of seeing Bridges looking like The Dude is one thing, but the fact is that while some of the other guys seem to be phoning it in, Bridges is, as usual, on top of his game, giving Django a real iconic, larger-than-life feel. Basically, nearly every scene in the movie with Bridges is a winner.

Like I said, this movie does play like a greatest-hits record of sort, as far as the actors go. There's Clooney doing a riff on the same kind of character we've seen from him in movies like "Oh Brother Where Art Thou?" and "Leatherheads." There's Ewan McGregor once again playing the affable everyman. There's Bridges doing a version of Lebowski, and Kevin Spacey playing the smarmy asshole ("Glengary Glenross," "LA Confidential."). Bridges makes it work, and the others are fine, but there's still that weird feeling that, rather than seeing these great actors really work, you're just seeing them reprise old favorites.

Even so, the sheer number of great actors in the movie is staggering. McGregor. Clooney. Bridges. Spacey. In addition, there's Stephen Lang as a gruff general, ROBERT PATRICK and the guy who plays AARON PIERCE on 24 as other army officials, and even the great Stephen Root as another former colleague of Clooney's. These are really solid guys. I mean, if you need some badass guys to play army officials, you don't get much better than John Doggett and Aarron freakin' Pierce, you know?

And the movie does have very funny moments. Clooney and Bridges do a nice job of selling a lot of the humor, and there is a nice, bouncy feel to the movie.

But the move reminds me a bit of something like Leatherheads - in that there is that inevitable feeling that you're watching Coen Bros.-lite. Not only are the Coens' comedies always hilarious, but they have a knack for giving even their goofiest comedies a sense of importance and profundity. The Men Who Stares at Goats is a movie that seems to want to be a political satire of sorts, and I watched the movie trying to figure out what the ultimate takeaway was about this clearly absurd bit of American military history. But the movie is almost too light and fluffy for it's own good. Few things in the movie really stick, and it never really succeeds at Dr. Strangelove-esque satire. Considering the talent involved, that is something of a disappointment. Basically, the movie as it stands is an interesting collection of scenes, but it never really comes together to make a lasting impact, never really gives you insight into its characters or the strange circustances they find themselves in. It's a fun movie - again, I'd say it's worth seeing - but not the must-see it could have been.

My Grade: B

Danny Opens Up THE BOX ...!

THE BOX Review:

- Donnie Darko, despite the constant arguments about whether it's overrated, underrated, etc., was a formative movie for me during my college years. It's one of the movie that really made me love movies the way I do now, and it's a movie that, at the time, pretty much blew my mind. After seeing DD, I knew that the guy behind it, Richard Kelly, was someone whose work I'd follow intently from that point forward. And it's been both fascinating and somewhat frustrating to watch the films that Kelly has done since. While he was responsible for a couple of things immediately following Donnie Darko (the script for the underrated Domino, for one), it was the epic, years-in-the-making sci-fi satire, Southland Tales, that was to be Kelly's true second act. I was chomping at the bit to see Southland Tales, and I made it a point to see it in the theater upon its release. It turned out to be one of the strangest, most insane movies I've ever seen. There were things about it that were incredibly fascinating, and some things that in their own, weird way were actually really cool. But at the end of the day, Southland Tales was a trainwreck of epic proportions. It was like a movie version of a middle-school boy's fever-dream notebook doodles, laced with LSD. It seemed to be, unfortunately, a sign that Richard Kelly was a guy who had a certain spark of creative genius, but also a guy who was simply unable to focus that creativity into anything resembling a coherant vision. Southland Tales was, in some ways, so disasterous of a movie that it's sort of amazing to see Kelly back and doing a big studio movie - a high profile adaptation in the form of THE BOX. And yet here he is, and I was ultra-curious to see how it turned out. Like I said, to me Richard Kelly is someone whose movies are always worth checking out.

The weird thing is that The Box is like a case study in Richard Kelly's creative process. Because it starts out as a fairly straightforward, Twilight Zone-esque morality play. And then it keeps going past the point that a TZ episode would have ended, and it starts getting into bonafide sci-fi acid-trip territory - aka, Donnie Darko-style stuff. And then it keeps going past that, and soon enough we're going to some very weird, very dark places that we probably never should have gone to. At some point, Kelly loses his focus, and stops he altogether trying to contain his impulse towards having his stories take a turn for the bat$%&# insane.

The Box is, of course, based on a short story written by sci-fi icon Richard Matheson. Matheson wrote many memorable episodes of The Twilight Zone, as well as many famous short stories, etc. The Box is based on one of his stories that was later adapted for the 1980's revival of The Twilight Zone. The movie sticks to the same basic premise as the short story - a mysterious stranger knocks on the door of a young couple (here, it is circa 1976), and presents them with a simple box that is topped by a shiny red button. The stranger presents the couple with an offer - press the button, and he will give them a large sum of money (in this case, $1 million). The catch is that if they press the button, someone, somewhere, whom they don't know, will die. It's an intriguing concept, and perfect fodder for a half-hour Twilight Zone episode. And the opening of The Box plays out similarly to how a modern-day TV adaptation might have. That means that it's a little slow and drawn-out, but also intriguing. And Kelly sets a great, creepy tone for the movie, with a similar slow-burn, detached kind of storytelling to that of Donnie Darko.

It also helps that the main cast is very good. James Marsden and Cameron Diaz both do an excellent job, and both conform well to the specific tone that Kelly is going for. Marsden in particular does some of the best work here that I've ever seen from him. I definitely think he seems at home playing the kind of slightly quirky and offbeat type of character that he does in this movie. In the box, he is a protective husband and father of a young son, but he's also a NASA scientist and a bit of an obsessive type. And as the movie progresses and the madness piles up, Marsden does a great job of playing unhinged and desperate. Diaz is also pretty good, much more grounded and less glammed up than what we're used to from her. She also does a nice job of playing to the creepy, understated tone of the film. Meanwhile, Frank Langella is pretty much always great, and he is suitably creepy and commanding as the stranger who delivers the box. Personally, I thought that the CGI effect that made it look like half of his face had been burned off was a bit too much - it seemed a bit too cartoony to me. But, Langella somewhat carries the movie in that every scene he's in, no matter how out-there, is compelling thanks to his dramatic presence.

It's really interesting, however, to see how the movie progresses once it gets past the half-hour point. You can almost see Richard Kelly's internal battle with his own creative impulses playing out on screen. At some points, it almost feels like the movie is playing out less like a Donnie Dark-style arty mind-bender, and more like a conventional Hollywood sci-fi flick. What I mean is, there is A LOT of weirdness in this movie, and many a WTF moment. But there are also times where Kelly seems tempted to just spell everything out for us, and have the characters more plainly spell out just what's going on. The end result is a weird hybrid of the two styles, and that makes for a feeling of incompleteness. We get a million hints at the big picture, a lot of teases ... so that we're left waiting for that one, final, Twilight Zone-esque money shot - that one big twist or reveal to end the movie on an true exclamation point. But Kelly never siezes the opportunity to end the movie with a bang, Rod Serling-style. Instead, the movie just keeps going, becoming increasingly esoteric, grotesque, and self-indulgent as it goes. When you think of The Twilight Zone, you think of simple stories with a great premise that pack a punch. The Box, on the contrary, just keeps getting more complicated and more indecipherable as it goes.

But I also want to emphasize that, for much of its running time, I was actually pretty engrossed in the movie. The cast, as I mentioned, does a stellar job. Aside from the main players, there's familiar character actors like James Rebhorn and Donnie Darko's Holmes Osbourne, who specializes in measured creepiness. And creepiness is something the movie has in abundance. That same sort of atmosphere-heavy, dreamlike vibe of Donnie Darko is present in this movie as well. It makes me wonder if it might ultimately play better as a midnight movie in a college dorm than in a big multiplex theater. But Darko was Richard Kelly at his best - it was a singular vision, and it was a movie where the details of the trippy time-travel plot ultimately mattered less than the absorbing characters and world that they lived in. The Box is much more dependent on its plot, and therefore suffers more when the tone abruptly shifts or when various threads fail to add up to a cohesive whole.

That said, I'm glad I saw The Box, and would urge curious fans to check it out. It's a weird, flawed movie, but it's another instance where you've got to admire it for being so out-there and different. I was expecting a much more conventional movie, so at the end of the day, I guess I'm kind of relieved to report that The Box is just as crazy, in its own way, as anything that Richard Kelly has done before. I don't know if he'll ever make another movie that works as well as Donnie Darko, but man, it's going to be interesting to watch him try.

My Grade: B

I Drink Your Milkshake! 30 ROCK, THE OFFICE, FRINGE, and a Tale of Only-In-LA Milkshake Madness!

Alright, lots to talk about today so let's get to it. First of all, I'm on the verge of a 3-day weekend! Whoooo! Seeing as how I didn't realize that this Monday was Veteran's Day until just recently, I am very pleasantly surprised that I have not one, not two, but three days with which to relax and enjoy myself coming up.

Anyways, lots of TV STUFF to talk about ...

- First off, I have to talk about last night's episode of 30 ROCK. It's weird, because I've seen a couple of lukewarm reviews up online. But I don't know what those reviewers were smoking - to me, this may just have been an all-time classic. For one thing, it was immediately obvious that the pacing of this episode was a return to the frantic, laugh-a-minute style of Season 2, where episodes had an almost Simpsons-like craziness and anything-can-happen style of humor. But man, last night's ep was just filled with classic quotes and random bits of hilarity. The overarching storyline of Liz's search for a new TGS cast member came to a head, with a planned audition session steamrolling out of control and turning into a full-blown circus. Everyone from Twofer to Dot Com wanted their own shot at sketch-comedy stardom. Meanwhile, Jack initially lectures Liz about bottling up her emotions and approaching the auditions with a colder and more robotic attitude. But when Jack gets a case of the bed-bugs, he becomes a pariah and learns a valuable (and very funny) lesson in the value of treating others with respect and empathy. Also, Jenna and Tracy, concerned that Liz's top pick for the cast could be a potential show-stealer and attention-grabber, decide to recruit as many people (and ethnic stereotypes) as possible to crowd the playing field. Man, Tracy Morgan was just on fire in this one - he had several all-time classic quotes ("EVIL TRACY?! Ohhh ... you meant evil COMMA Tracy!"). And I loved how all of the plot threads came together in a very Seinfeld-ian manner at the end of the episode. Jack's climactic discovery of an empathetic Robot Man and his subsequent decision to hire said Robot Man as TGS' newest cast member ... well, it was a stroke of comedic genius. The number of great throwaway gags in this one was amazing - from a pointed jab at the Winter Olympics to an awesome cameo from NBC News' Brian Williams, this was 30 Rock at its off-the-wall finest.

My Grade: A

- Last night's episode of THE OFFICE was really well-done, especially in terms of being a pretty dark and pretty fascinating character study of the way Michael's oddball mind works. It wasn't the funniest episode ever, although it did have its moments (everything Creed said, Ryan's supposedly arty yet actually pervy photopgraphy hobby ...). The sort-of-wacky B story though, involving Dwight and Andy's office battle of one-upsmanship, mostly fell flat. It worked great as a cold-open, with Dwight enacting a sinister plan to bring in bagels for everyone in the office, therefore creating a situation where all of his co-workers "owe him one." But pretty quickly, the back-and-forth antics between Dwight and Andy "don't test my politeness" Bernard got a bit tiring. But back to the Michael Scott stuff - it was another "Dinner Party"-like situation, where a double date between Michael and Pam's mom and Jim and Pam quickly veered into darkly uncomfortable awkwardness. But I enjoyed it all the same, because it was pretty amazing character stuff, and Michael's progression from proud MILF-meat to reluctant ageist was both funny and very much in-character. Same goes for Pam's evolution from bitter hatred of Michael to slow acceptance and then back to hatred again. Amazing that in the course of a few minutes of air time, we see Pam going from wanting to kill Michael for dating her mom, to being sort of okay with it if it makes her mom happy, to wanting to kill Michael again for breaking up with her mom right there at her birthday lunch. Similarly, it was fascinating watching the gears turn in Michaels' head, as he realized how dating an older, more life-experienced woman was exactly what he *didn't* want. It makes sense - Michael has always been a man-child, so his ideal match would be someone more like Holly, who shared, at least kinda, his somewhat arrested-development worldview. This was all good stuff. I think the episode just suffered a bit for lack of really funny, laugh out loud moments. But like the Dinner Party ep, I admired that this one boldly went very dark and raw.

My Grade: B+

- I thought that PARKS & RECREATION had another very solid episode. The guest turn from Megan Mullaly as Ron Swanson's manipulative ex-wife was pretty classic, and their lusty yet hate-filled relationship was endlessly amusing. And man, everything Ron said and did after reuniting with his wife, from his description of her sexual prowess to his wearing of a Tiger Woods outfit, was pretty hilarious. I liked the rivalry between the Parks & Rec department and libraries, and Leslie's initial meeting with Tammy was also really well-done. I even liked the opening with the very-funny retirement speech of the old shoe-shine guy. Overall, a really good episode of this year's most improved show.

My Grade: A-

- While I'm talking comedies, I'll mention Wednesday's episode of MODERN FAMILY. This one was another episode that was merely pretty good and not great, and you have to wonder if it was another one that was sort of thrown out there oppositte the World Series (ie, they are saving the best episodes for the next couple weeks). The thing with Modern Family though is that the characters have, very quickly, become so inherently amusing that it's hard for the show to ever completely misfire. And indeed, there were elements here of a very good episode - Manny's fencing skills that forced him to face off with a disadvantaged girl in the finals of a tournament, for example. And Luke's inability to be good at anything leading his dad to think that Real Estate might just be his true life's calling. All good stuff. But ... this one just wasn't quite as funny as some other eps -- it seemed to be coasting a bit and the writing wasn't quite as sharp as we've come to expect. But, I still love this show, and am eagerly anticipating the next batch of great episodes.

My Grade: B

- So, FRINGE returned last night after a hiatus due to the World Series. And man, it was nice to have it back. Even if the show has slipped a bit as of late, it's still the only drama on right now that is a total "must-see" for me. And the key to that is the great characters. I mean, look at last night's episode -- the plot was really only okay, it was yet another one-and-done monster-of-the-week that felt kind of like The X-Files lite. But even if I wasn't totally caught up in the plot, I still got a kick out of this episode because the characters are so darn entertaining. I mean, Lance Reddick as Broyles was just ridiculously kickass here. Dare I say it? I do. He singlehandedly brought a heaping helping of GRAVITAS to Fringe last night. Hid delivery is just so melodramatically awesome that you can't help but clench your fist, call your neighbor, and yell out "daaaaaaaamn" after he's delivered yet another crazy-awesome speech. Last night's ep confirmed it - Lance Reddick is on the shortlist of actors who you might want to narrate your life. And then there's John Noble, who as I've said many times, rules it as Walter Bishop. When he said: "Titanium Tetrachloride, you sly temptress ...!” in last night's ep, my brother and I had to rewind and rewatch about three times before the awesomeness was fully able to sink in. Still, it's not all sunshine and roses for our old pal Fringe. The fact is, the show's last few episodes have not been up to par, in that the storylines and the weekly cases just have not been as compelling as they should be. When the show isn't tying it's storylines back into The Pattern and all that, the cases just have a feeling of being inconsequential and also somewhat rushed. As I've said in previous weeks, Fringe of late often leaves me feeling like I got a quick snack but not a full meal. Like in last night's ep, we never *really* got into the head of the villain of the week. We didn't really delve into the alien shadow-creature's origins or motivations. A good X-Files ep would have done a better job of introducing us to our freak-of-the-week and really getting into the psychology and motivations of the villain. It's why the preview for next week's evil-psychic ep made me slightly cringe. The X-Files had a classic recurring villain of exactly that ilk in "The Pusher" - Robert Patrick Modell. One of Modell's battles with Mulder and Scully famously ended on a cliffhanger where a psychically-pushed Mulder has Scully at gunpoint. Seeing the preview for next week's Fringe, I have to wonder if it's wise for the show to keep doing these sorta-like-X-Files eps. But yeah, the plot of last night's installment felt a bit thin and a bit confusing. Fringe always seems to start with a bang (last night's awesomely-cool, man-turns-to-dust opening set the stage nicely), but then has trouble keeping its cases compelling for he duration of an episode. What saved it was the great character work from the likes of Reddick and Noble. As long as they're around, Fringe remains a must-watch.

My Grade: B



- To wrap things up, I thought I'd share an only-in-LA experience that happened to me today. Basically, a co-worker and I were driving back to our office after a meeting in Beverly Hills, when we both stopped to gawk at a brightly colored shop that seemed to beckon at us from the side of Santa Monica Blvd. The shop was called Millions of Milkshakes, and I think we both agreed that at that particular point in time, a milkshake was just what the doctor ordered (or *not* what the doctor ordered, and that, I guess, was the point). Anyways, we park, walk over to the place, and walk in, only to find that this is no ordinary milkshake shop. No, this is an only-in-Hollywood, celebrity-themed milkshake destination. As we walked in, we were greeted by about 20 photographers, who were eagerly snapping away at some guest-celebrity milkshake-maker. Turned out the celeb in question was some girl by the name of Adrienne Bailon, of Cheetah Girls fame (who I later Googled and realized was not as wholesome as she might appear - inevitably, she was in some nude photo scandal!). But anyways, the place was a mob scene, I've never seen anything like it. Just so, so weird. The weirdest thing was that Adrienne wasn't even really making milkshakes - just kind of posing for photos and sipping on a shake that she had made for herself. So the few poor souls among us who had wandered in just looking for some shakey goodness seemed to be out of luck. Finally, a flustered regular-Joe employee came up and began serving the couple of actual customers inside. He seemed semi-annoyed, in that clearly he hadn't fully thought through the effect that a celeb milkshake-maker accompanied by a horde of paprazzi and publicity people would have on actual business. Of course, at Millions of Milkshakes, it is a celeb-themed milkshake bar, so every shake on the menu is named after a different "celebrity" (mostly of the kind who are cheesy and tabloid friendly - i.e. Lindsay Lohan, John Gossellin, etc.). So anyways, in the midst of this crazy scene, I ordered up the "Miley" - a tasty concoction of Reeses and cookie dough, and after a long wait and a surreal scene, we were on our way. But man, this one trip to Millions of Milkshakes was A LOT to process. For one, the very existence of a milkshakes-only shop is in and of itself enough to change my entire food-services worldview. First it was the resurgance of fro-yo, then cupcakes - now, apparently, milkshakes are the new hot thing. As a longtime milkshake fan, this is interesting. But secondly, this was not *just* a milkshake place, this was a milkshake place where at any given moment some Disney channel star might be making you your milkshake, where you might have to navigate throngs of photographers and rabid fans just to get your milkshake. Craziness! They even had, on the wall, this video monitor with some Hollywood celeb-tracker thing that listed out all the various places you could spot your favorite celebs at any given moment! Whaaat?! But the craziest thing of all had nothing to do with Miley Cyrus-themed shakes, but instead with the simple STRAW innovations that this place had goin' on. Each shake came equipped with an ultra-thick straw with far more diameter than your typical straw. Amazing - a custom straw made especially for drinking milkshakes with! How has no one thought of this sooner?! You can imagine how all of these random elements of milkshake-related insanity ultimately converged to rick my world and leave me questioning everything I thought I knew about milkshakes, straws, and C-list Disney Channel celebrities. Only in LA, people. Only in LA.

- And with that, have an amazing three day weekend!

Remember, Remember: Danny Gets Political With a Look at Obama: One Year Later!

Well, I thought I'd shift gears a bit today and talk about politics. Afterall, it's been a year now since Barack Obama began his run as President, and everyone therefore feels the need to evalute his first year in office ad nauseum. So anyways, I thought I'd throw my hat in the ring. Well, sort of. This being an entertainment-centric blog, I've wanted to talk about the job that Obama is doing so far ever since that lame SNL sketch from several weeks back. You know, the one where the whole "joke" was that they had Fred Armisen as Obama list off a bunch of things that he has *not* done yet as President. Not only was that sketch not funny (what was the joke, exactly?), but it just seemed like a pretty awkward attempt to turn the tables on Obama and criticize him for the sake of being "fair and balanced." Do I think that Obama has had a perfect first year in office? No I don't. But am I still incredibly proud and happy to have him as our President? Yes I am. But one of the big lessons here is that no one man is a savior. We as a counrty can't just expend all this energy to help get Obama elected, and then stop caring. And the Republican party ... if their entire focus as a party is simply trying to help Obama fail, then, well, that's a pretty steep obstacle for our President to overcome.

I've talked about health care previously here, but the debate still makes no sense to me. Republicans talk about the need for reform, but at the end of the day want to preserve the status quo. And that to me is a microcosm of the entire Republican mindset -- instill fear of change or "the other," and demonize your opponent in order to rally the people against them. The entire GOP agenda, as of now, is one of opposition.

But back to Obama, I don't think you can underestimate the power of ideas. And I think that's reflected in his Nobel Peace Prize win from several weeks back. Obama has opened new channels of communication with the Arab World. He's put the US back in the mix of the international conversation regarding the climate crisis. He's addressed the internaitonal community with a level of respect and positivity that had been missing during the Bush years.

The problem is that many of these larger global problems are longterm problems. There are huge issues in Afghanistan and Pakistan, and there's basically no easy way to handle those situations. For example, whether Obama approved another "surge" in Afghanistan or withdrew the majorty of US troops - both paths are riddled with a lot of question marks.

Even domestically, issues like the still-struggling economy are unfortunately, again, long-term issues. But at the least, we are headed on a path that gets us away from the crazy tax cuts and other problematic policies of the Bush administration. On this one, I think we're on the right track.

Do I wish that Obama would have really thrown his weight around in Year One and done a bit more to address certain things? Sure. The biggest example is probably the environment. While Obama is certainly a step up from Bush in terms of being environmentally-concious, it still feels like we are treading water when we should be going full speed ahead with clean technology and new, innovative ways of creating more environmentally-safe energy and products. A lot of these innovations will ultimately be driven by the private sector, but it does still feel like we aren't moving as fast on these things as we should be.

I also know that there are those who still feel that Obama is somehow not sympathetic enough towards Israel. To this I say: get real. This issue is basically a whole other column, but the fact is that a peace process between Israeli's and Palestinians is pretty simple on paper. The first key is a Palestinian leader who genuinely wants peace and can unite his people behind him. The second step is a recognition of this by the Israelis and a willingness to follow up with some concessions of their own (ie halting settlements). But is there much Obama can do other than affirm his support for Israel and be there to help moderate if the Palestinians ever get their act together? Nope - there's not that much he can do in the meantime.

But again, Obama has come at these problems with, mostly, the right mindset. I think his biggest problem was, initially, underestimating just how hard the Repbulicans would work to dismantle his Presidency. Democrats and liberals can often be a self-loathing bunch, and they also tend to be too soft. Obama has done a nice job though of rallying public support for his health care plan. But what you have is the President of the United States having to compete ideologically with the Rush Limbaughs and Glenn Becks of the world. Sure, they and their ilk tend to be bat$#%& insane, but they have just enough followers to make a dent in the popular conciousness.

That brings me back to the whole SNL thing. It's easy to adopt a Rush Limbaugh mindset and talk about things in broad, ideological, and largely negative, terms. It's why I got pissed off when I saw Newsweek's cover from last week, saying, about Obama, "Yes He Can! (But He Sure Hasn't Yet)". I was surprised to see Newsweek buy into that notion. What, exactly, hasn't he done yet that was actually possible to do? A health care bill hasn't passed yet - but was that Obama's fault? We aren't out of Afghanistan yet - but how could we have been? The environmental crisis isn't solved yet - but we all know that is a longterm issue. So how about we talk about actual issues and solutions instead of generalities. How about we not demonize Obama (like all of those crazy parents did - you know, the ones who wouldn't let their kids go to school to hear his "welcome back" address), and actually support our President? You know, the guy who is actively working to do what's best for the country, as opposed to simply supporting an agenda of helping the wealthiest Americans and biggest corporations and appeasing the right-wing conservative base? It's sad that our country is still in this place where everyone is "for" or "against" without any real reasons why. We should be smarter and better than that.

Our country is better off now than it was a year ago, and weare headed in a positive direction. There hasn't been a techtonic shift quite yet, but let's be vocal in our support of a President whose desired endgame is a better country. That is worth supporting, I think.

We Bring You Love: V - Reviewed! Plus: Smallville, Heroes, and MORE!

- After a weekend of Halloween fun, it's back to reality. And it's November. Wow, how time flies. And yet, it's currently about 80 degrees here in Burbank, so it may as well be August. Anyways, I had a lot of fun getting dressed up in my Tallahassee-esque zombie-hunter gear for the annual Halloween bash in Pasadena. A good time as always, although I think it's definitely time to retire the name "Page-O-Ween," at least when it comes to this particular party. Gone are the days when the crowd was largely comprised of NBC Pages old and new. Still, a ton of people getting together in crazy costumes to party Halloween-style? A good time is pretty much guaranteed, regardless of who shows up. The weirdest thing that happened to me on Halloween though? So I got home from the party, park my car outside my apartment ... and as soon as I begin walking to the back door, a POLICE CAR pulls up beside me! The policeman rolls down his window and begins questioning me - "did I live here?", "where was I going?", "was that my parking space?". Are you kidding me? This is one of those things that would ONLY happen to me. Granted, I was carrying a toy sword and toy rifle with me. But both were obviously fakes (the rifle was powder-blue!). And I was wearing a T-shirt that said "Zombie Emergency Response Team" and a goofy-looking tarp hat. There is no way this cop could actually take me seriously as a possible menace, right? Well, I suppose I am so naturally badass that he assumed I was lookin' for trouble. But still. It's funny though because the first thing I said was "don't worry, it's a toy gun." It actually would have been funny if he further questioned me. Lucky for him, I did not stay in character, or I might have channeled Woody Harrelson and told him to "nut up or shut up." Anyways, who knows why these things happen to me, but they do. Dammit all.

- Also, I haven't really mentioned that this past Friday marked the likely end of my twice-weekly physical therapy sessions for my ankle. I've been going for PT every Tuesday and Friday for the last couple of months, as I've talked about every so often here on the blog. Of course, many of you will remember the "incident" from several weeks back, in which I strained my leg at PT and could barely walk for a couple of days, including my birthday! Mostly though, the PT has actually been kind of nice. It got me thinking about my leg and my ankle and about how to walk and sit in ways that don't strain them as much. And it got me doing stretches and actively working to make my ankle feel better. Most of all, it was pretty relaxing. The staff at the PT place was ultra-friendly, and it was funny because for a while I was having this twice-a-week break from work where I could be active, relax, chat with some cool people, etc. And the thing is, I would come back to work feeling refreshed and loosened-up. It just goes to show - sitting complacently at a desk all day is NOT good. Whoever came up with the idea of recess for elementary school kids had the right idea - that mid-day break is really a pretty amazing thing. It's why I think the people who don't leave their desk all day will eventually just snap and go insane. But anyways, now that my physical therapy is complete (I think), I am feeling a lot better than when I started and my ankle feels a bit stronger. I'd still say it feels only about 85% "normal," but that last 15% is something that will be a much longer-term process. But yeah, it's been a good run with PT -- it's definitely helped me to re-focus a bit and think more about how I do things (walking, sitting, stretching, eating, etc.) on a daily basis. That said, I am ready to stop thinking about my ankle for a bit and eager to play some basketball, tennis, and just kick some ass in general. Yep, you heard me, prospective opponents - I'm callin' you out.


TV STUFF:

- Okay, so let's talk about V. I saw this pilot over the summer, and while it didn't blow me away, it was one of the few "big" shows amongst all the new medical dramas and teen soaps and family sitcoms, so it still managed to stand out. I mean, look, V has it's flaws, but I still really want to support it. And honestly, I'm happy that it did well in the ratings last night as well. I want to see TV continue to support big-budget, movie-like programs. And I want some new series to prove that the success of shows like 24 and Lost was not a fluke. V's pilot is not in the same league as Lost's, but it has a lot of upside, to borrow a term from the sports world. The pilot packed in A LOT of story, and my hope is that now that the initial setup is out of the way, the show can breathe a bit and really find some solid creative momentum. Of course, that might be somewhat harder to do with only four episodes before a long hiatus ... but still, I feel like there is a lot of potential here.

The other thing with V is that the show is pretty campy. And I don't think that that's necessarilly a bad thing. Flash Forward feels like a show that takes itself too seriously despite a pretty out-there premise. The tone for V feels more appropriate given its subject matter. It's more over-the-top, more melodramatic, more comic book-ish than Flash Forward. It's more Smallville than X-Files. My concern is whether the cast is up to the task of pulling this kind of thing off. To me, the current king of sci-fi awesomeness is clearly FRINGE. And V doesn't quite seem to have the characters to match up to the likes of Olivia Dunham or Walter Bishop. But there are some talented cast members (Scott Wolf, Elizabeth Mitchell, Morena Baccarin, Morris Chestnut), so again, there is potential.

The biggest problem with the V pilot might be the pacing. It felt too rushed overall, and the quick pace meant that the epic premise didn't quite get the sense of "bigness" that it probably deserved. But again, the upside to this is that we've gotten all of the stuff about the V's arrival over and done with very quickly. Now the show can quickly move on.

And I do think that there was some really fun payoff in the last ten or fifteen minutes of the pilot. I remember watching this over the summer not really knowing what to expect. For the first two-thirds of the pilot, it felt like pretty standard sci-fi fare - yet another riff on the classic Twilight Zone episode "To Serve Man." The aliens have landed, and they say they want to help us, but they might just want to destroy us. But the last ten minutes of V were so fun, and reassuring, because they show that this will be a series that isn't afraid to go balls-to-the-wall. This isn't just a show about political allegory or the same-old character stuff we've seen on Lost, Heroes, Flash Forward, and a million other "big-cast-of-characters-deals-with-world-changing-event" type of shows. Because unlike other sci-fi series, V features evil lizard-aliens who want to kill humans. That's why to me the money-shot of the whole pilot is when Elizabeth Mitchell hits her FBI partner over the head with a crowbar, opening up his fake-human shell and exposing his ultra-creepy reptillian mug. That's the moment where you know that V isn't messing around. So yeah, there's still all the allusions to real-life politics and whatnot, but at the end of the day, it's comforting that V is at its heart "fun" sci-fi, with good guys, bad guys, and lizard aliens. Despite some of the pilot's pacing and character issues, I'm happy to stick with the show. At the least, you have to give it credit for being fun and ambitious. Let's just say I won't be spray-painting V symbols in an alleyway just yet, but I will gladly sign up for the V recruitment drive. Especially if Laura "Supergirl" Vandervoort is there to greet me every week.

My Grade: B+

- Speaking of SMALLVILLE, Friday's episode was a definite improvement over the last couple of weeks, although it was still somewhat iffy overall. I mean, first off, the DC fanboy in me enjoyed seeing not one but two comic book staples debut - one being intrepid Daily Planet gossip columnist Cat Grant, the other being Green Arrow sidekick Mia Deardon, aka Speedy. Mia's introduction in particular was pretty well-handled, and I like that they didn't shy away from her origin as an underaged prostitute-turned-vigilante-protege. Of course, notably absent was any mention of the HIV virus, which the character lives with in the comics (also in the comics: Mia is seventeen whereas Oliver Queen is forty-something - oh well!). But yeah, the Mia stuff was pretty good, but, the biggest improvement to me in this episode was the Lois-Clark relationship stuff. Even though the episode ended with a long-awaited kiss between Lois and Clark, the majority episode had them acting out the kind of friendly-rivalry relationship that has made Clark Kent and Lois Lane an all-time classic fictional couple. No more of this gazing into each other's eyes and pining for one another crap, in this one, there was a lot more nuance and intelligence (well, as much as Smallville can have those things). Meanwhile, the stuff with Tess Mercer and Zod was semi-interesting - at the least, it seems like they are actually going somewhere now with the whole Zod storyline. Hopefully, next week's ep makes some much-needed sense of all this Zod stuff, and explains how this version reconciles with the previous, more experienced version of Zod we've seen on the show. For now though, this one was, if nothing else, pretty solid.

My Grade: B

- While I'm on a superhero kick, here's a stunner for ya' -- I watched HEROES on Monday, for the first time in years. What can I say - I was intrigued by the idea of a time-travel episode that revisted some of the big plot threads from Season 1, and also, I guess, just nostalgic for a time when Heroes seemed like it could really be the next big thing. This was one of those things though where seeing an episode so tied to the show's past made you realize the current shortcomings. For one thing, I was immediately struck by the episode's central character, Hiro. I mean, it was actually a running joke in this episode how everyone expected this version of "Future-Hiro" to be the badass from Season 1 with the sword and deep voice. And you know what? So did we, the audience. The fact that Season 4 Hiro is even goofier and dorkier than his Season 1 self is testament to how little momentum Heroes has really had. I mean look at Lost. Look at Season 4 Locke or Sawyer or Jack compared to their Season 1 selves. And yeah, Heroes is a different kind of a show, and yet, Heroes was supposed to be ALL ABOUT these ordinary characters growing to accept their new abilities and coming to terms with their unique destinies. Has that happened yet? By this point they should have formed a Justice League-esque super-team and been out there actively trying to change the world, or something. So yes, in some respects this felt like a Season 1 episode, but the fact that a Season 4 episode felt so Season 1-ish was, in this case, exactly NOT what we should be seeing out of Heroes at this juncture. The one thing that made me really happy in this episode? Seeing the awesome Robert Knepper of Prison Break fame again. On the other hand, seeing him also made me sad that he was in this role and not playing T-Bag, very similar to how I felt sad seeing Kristen Bell on Heroes rather than as Veronica Mars. Man, it's just insane how much potential the concept of Heroes STILL has. It's amazing to me that after four seasons it has yet to take things to that next level and just employ real, balls-to-the-wall storytelling - storytelling that feels like it's getting you from Point A to Point B, with a definitive endgame in sight. In the end, this felt like a sort-of-decent episode of Heroes, but it wasn't the game-changer that I personally needed to convince me that I should once again invest my time into the show.

My Grade: C+

Alright - I'm out for now. Stay tuned for a lot more throughout the week.

Zombies Ate My Blog! A Special HALLOWEEN Post, with a review of HOUSE OF THE DEVIL!

Darkness crawls across the land ... the midnight hour is close at hand ...

- Good evening, boys and ghouls, and HAPPY HALLOWEEN! I'm primed and ready for what should be a fright-filled Halloween -- I already kicked off the weekend in style with a trip to see The Nightmare Before Christmas in 3D in Hollywood, and tonight I don zombie-hunter gear in preparation for yet another Page-O'-Ween spectacular. But put down the candy for just one more minute, because first, some pop-culture pontifications for your reading pleasure. I've got reviews of this past week's Halloween-themed episodes of The Office, 30 Rock, and Parks & Recreation, as well as a movie review of the indie-horror, 80's-flashback flick - HOUSE OF THE DEVIL. So keep reading ... if you dare.


TV STUFF:


- THE OFFICE on Thursday had a fun Halloween haunted-house teaser, but then quickly became a very typical Office episode. That's not to say it wasn't good, but it felt a little bit been-there-done-that, sort of like it was just running on autopilot. We've seen Michael mess up and try to cover it up before, and we've seen Andy pine for someone else in the office before. The twist here is that Michael's embarrassing fall into a Koi Pond was something of a turning point for Jim, who was resentful of Michael for not letting him go to a big business meeting alone. The ongoing thread in this season of The Office has been Jim's newfound responsibilities as co-manager, and his ongoing struggle to take charge while not becoming Michael 2.0 in the process. One of the ep's most hilarious moments was Dwight ruminating on how Jim is his own worst enemy. Since Jim is Dwight's enemy, but also his own worst enemy, and since "the enemy of mine enemy is my friend ..." well, let's just say this paradox was a bit of a brain-teaser for Dwight. Anyways, with everyone in the office laughing at Michael's faux pass, Jim tried to teach Michael how to laugh at yourself in order to make him less of a target. Of course, Michael took this lesson to hilariously disturbing extremes, making fun of himself just a tad too harshly. Meanwhile, Andy goes on cold sales calls paired with Pam, and after everyone thinks they are a couple, Andy reveals his loneliness to Pam and also his developing crush on new office receptionist Erin. The twist here, of course, is that Erin, for some reason, thinks Andy is the coolest person since Marlon Wayans. Like I said, there were some twists, but too many of the scenes - Michael making inappropriate lists in the conference room, for example, felt familiar. So, yeah, this one had a few interesting wrinkles, but all in all seemed to dip into the old well a few too many times to be considered great.

My Grade: B


- But, by the way -- for some amazing OFFICE-related hilarity, check out the "Male Prima Donna" song and music video that spins out from the show's latest batch of webisodes, which center around Kelly's quest to form her own girl-pop group and to record her own music video. The name of she and Erin's duo? Subtle Sexuality. And their song and video? Hilarious, and really, really catchy to boot. You can watch it now on NBC.com, OR, you can download the song, music video, and digital album art on iTunes! I highly suggest you grab it as soon as you can! And yes, this is a cheap plug, as I worked on getting this up on iTunes, and want to see it blow up. But trust me, this one is worth your download.


- 30 ROCK really entertained me this week, even if certain critics (cough*AV Club*cough) seem to have turned against the show in full-force. No, this wasn't an all-time great ep, but man, there were more than enough moments of hilarity for it to be considered a good to very good ep. I mean, look, 30 Rock has always been Simpsons-esque in its humor. It's a show that can excel from great jokes alone, that doesn't need to have the kind of character or emotional moments of a typical sitcom. For me, the "rule of three's" subplot alone was enough to carry the ep. You don't need to analyze it, it was just hilarious. Tracy Morgan cracked me up with every line he said. (His determination to eat "ghost meat" in honor of the death of the "obese guy who PacMan was based on"? Classic.) Judah Friedlander's quest to get invited to a gay Halloween party was similarly hilarious - we need more storylines following the writers and their awesomely geeky adventures. As for the A-plot, well, it was an interesting commentary on how 30 Rock is perceived as kind of a New York-liberal show that can't quite entertain the masses like a Two and a Half Men or whatever. Liz and Jack's trip to small-town Georgia was funny, and also a nice send-up of all the talk you hear about the "real" America vs the elitist parts of the country on either coast. The main problem here to me was that the show dipped its toes into this pond, but didn't quite go far enough. It felt like the writers wanted to make some really cutting comments on the whole liberal elite vs middle America issue, but stopped short. Still, there was more than enough funny for this to be a very enjoyable ep.

My Grade: B+


- PARKS & RECREATION this week had a decently funny episode that was also Halloween themed. This one had Leslie on the hunt for a pesky teen who serially defaces local parks on Halloween. For a while now, people have been hailing Chris Pratt's character as being one of the funniest on the show, but this episode finally showed me just how funny he can be. I loved his impression of an FBI agent, and his "interrogation" of the teen prankster was great. Meanwhile, Rashida Jones threw a Halloween party that started off as pretty lame, but got much more happenin' as soon as Aziz Ansari and hi green-card-getting wife turned up and cranked up the fun-o-meter. The party scenes were a lot of fun, and Aziz was in fine form. Louis CK was once again very funny as Leslie's soft-spoken cop boyfriend as well. After last week's so-so episode, this was another good one from Parks & Rec.

My Grade: B+


- And by the way, I breathed a sigh of relief this week after I finally removed FLASH FORWARD from my DVR. In my last post, I outlined why I was pretty much done with the show, so I didn't really regret the decision. And think about it: with V starting next week and 24, LOST, and CHUCK on the horizon ... who has time to waste on crappy TV?


- Alright ... it's been a good month for horror movies that break the mold and make for some great October thrills. In the last few weeks I've talked about Paranormal Activity, Trick R' Treat ... and now we've got HOUSE OF THE DEVIL. What's really cool is that each of these films think outside the box in terms of production and distribution. The story of Paranormal Activity is well-known by now, but it still bears repeating because Hollywood suits never seem to learn the lessons of movies like this. The lesson here being that you DON'T need huge budgets or big-name actors to make a great mass-market movie. You just need a great premise and talent, some buzz-generating marketing ... and the masses will come. To think that so many execs insisted that Paranormal Activity would only succeed if it was remade with big-name talent - it goes to show how clueless people in Hollywood can be. Personally, I love seeing a movie buck the odds and succeed like this despite so many factors going against it. Even if you didn't think that PA was as scary as some have made it out to be, you've got to admire how it's success is, in many ways, one giant "F.U." to the traditional Hollywood way of doing things. Same goes for TRICK R' TREAT. The studio denied it a bigscreen release, held it back, and then finally put it out to market on home video after a long wait. But the fans rushed out to snatch up DVD's, download it off of XBOX Live or the Playstation Store, etc. Another example of cool content attracting an audience even if it didn't come through the typical Hollywood channels. And now there's HOUSE OF THE DEVIL. The third piece of a horror movie trifecta that has really got me thinking that the times, they are a changin'. The movie was released in select theaters, but also on VOD services and digital download simultaneously. Not only that, but cable viewers who get HD NET could check it out for free on their TV's during special on-air screenings. A well-reviewed, new-release movie debuting right on my TV screen? Sign me up. So what's the scoop on House of the Devil? Keep reading ...


HOUSE OF THE DEVIL Review:

- House of the Devil doesn't just remind you of an 80's horror movie, it IS an 80's horror movie, for all intents and purposes. This one feels like someone reached into a locked vault of cult-classic horror flicks circa 1982 and unearthed some never-before-seen piece of scary cinema. Because, man, writer-director Ti West has done an absolutely amazing job here of making a movie that is totally 80's in all the best ways. It's not just the spot-on hair and clothes and all that. And it's not just the fact that the details are pitch-perfect, from the way the actors talk to the old-school Coke cups at a pizza joint to the vintage Walkmen. It's much more than that. It's the camera angles, the fonts used for the opening credits, the way music is used in the movie, the way its shot and edited. Like I said, House of the Devil is the best 80's horror movie never made.

Ti West is not a name I was really familiar with before this movie, but he's definitely someone to watch out for. For one thing, this movie feels like a pretty singular vision - West wrote it, directed it, and his personal sensibilities and fetishes are all over this one. But also, West just displays a lot of cajones in making a movie like this that is so different than most of the horror flicks out there now. As I said, it is 100% an 80's throwback, stylistically. Pacing-wise, this one is a slooow burn. Most of the movie is all about creepy atmosphere and creating a sense of impending terror and dread. I love, for example, that the movie opens with a simple title card explaining the national fear and prevalance of Satanic cults in the early 1980's. For the next hour, we don't need anything else spelled out for us, because in the back of our minds we know that there's something really, really sinister going on between the lines of what we're actually seeing on-screen.

What we're seeing is a fairly typical story -- Jocelin Donahue plays Samantha, a cash-strapped college student in 1982, who is nonetheless determined to move into her own apartment in order to get away from her awful roommate. Sam finds a great new place, but needs some extra money to pay the rent - so she answers an ad for a babysitter. Quickly enough, we realize that the strange man who posted the ad is possibly hiding some sinister secret. And even more quickly, we realize that this isn't going to be a typical babysitting gig for poor Samantha. To say much more would be spoiling things ... but like I said, that ominous opening title card about Satanic cults is never far from your thoughts while watching things play out.

Again, West paces things nice and slow, methodically drawing us into this creepy story. Like Paranormal Activity, a thick atmosphere of discomfort is created, so for a while, every little bump in the night or creak of a door gets to you. But unlike PA, this one is very stylized, and you see a lot of homages to classic horror movie moments (and classic 80's-movies moments - yes there is even a freeze-frame!). It helps that the actors are totally up for the challenge of essentially recreating a vintage 70's / early-80's-style horror movie. Donahue is sort of the classic 80's girl-next-door tomboy type - tough, quiet, a bit sullen, but prone to random bouts of rockin' out to her Walkman whilst listening to The Fixx. Anyone who's OD'd on old-school movies will immediately get the kind of character that Sam pays homage to. Meanwhile, there is a really creepy turn from Tom Noonan as Mr. Ulman, the dapper yet disturbing gentleman who's hired Sam to watch over his rustic old house in the middle of the boonies, so that he and his equally creepy wife can enjoy a mysteriously ambiguous "night out," that happens to coincide with a rare lunar eclipse.

For some, the ultra-slow-burn of the first two-thirds of the movie might be too much to sit through. But sitting at home watching this one, I found myself getting pretty wrapped up in the movie, just admiring all the creepiness and cool vintage details. And of course, the total shock-and-awe craziness of the last third of the movie was, to me, all the more effective after so much build-up. And when I say effective, what I mean is that for a good 20 minutes or so -- well, holy freaking crap, the $@#& hits the fan! That said, this isn't a movie where a lot happens - but it is a really cool genre excercise that's well-worth watching. It's a great movie to sit back and watch with the lights out. And it's a great movie to watch if you're feeling nostalgic for 1982 (clearly a good year ... I was born!). Go in at your own risk, but I'd say it's worth it to enter the House of the Devil.

My Grade: B+


- Are those werewolves I hear howling in the distance? Is that witches' brew I smell bubbling? Is that the thump ... thump ... thump of zombies lumbering towards my humble abode? Alright, ghosts and ghouls, it's time to don my anti-zombie gear and see what tricks or treats this Halloween has in store.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!

Doin' the Wild Thing - WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE Review! Plus: How To Fix FLASH FORWARD!

And so the Halloween season continues ... It's already been an eventful October: Knott's Scary Farm, the annual Halloween Horror Movie Marathon ... and then of course this Saturday, on the 31st, it will once again be time for some Halloween party craziness in Pasadena. It's even getting appropriately chilly again here in LA -- after several days of very unseasonably warm weather, it's now dark and cool and windy -- perfect October weather.

TV STUFF:

- So I went against my better judgement and watched the latest episode of FLASH FORWARD. A bunch of people told me this was one of the better episodes so far, so I gave in and gave the series one more chance. So, I'm not sure what some of my friends were smoking, but man, to me this was another clunker of an episode. And for me, probably the final nail in the coffin of my time as a Flash Forward fan and viewer. It's a shame - rarely have I so enjoyed a pilot episode only to be let down by subsequent installments of a series. So rather than just talk about this latest episode, let me simply count the ways in which Flash Forward needs some serious help:

a.) More Plot, Less Character: right now, we have gotten about two minutes' worth of actual plot over the course of several episodes. Flash Forward needs to bust its own myth-arc wide open, as soon as possible. Because right now they have given curious viewers next to nothing to hang on to. Now, typically, you want a show to emphasize character over all else - particularly a high concept or sci-fi show. You need great characters in order to ground the show and keep people invested in the storylines. This is what has kept Lost so creatively viable, and what enabled that show's long-running flashback structure to work over multiple seasons. But here's the thing - Flash Forward is structured such that we have to revisit the SAME character flashes in EVERY episode. This grew tiresome VERY quickly, and now each new episode hits us over the head with the same character bits again and again. So stop blatantly referencing them so much! Trust the viewer to remember what happened in each character's flash, and keep the allusions to them subtle. Do the occasional standalone episode that introduces a new character and examines their flash-forward. But the constant references to plot points that resurface in EVERY episode are totally off-putting. It's why the show needs to get the ball rolling in terms of the bigger-picture plot.

b.) More Forward Momentum: On that note, what is with this show introducing random cliffhangers or reveals and then not following up on them? You introduce Dominic Monahagan as a major antagonist at the end of one ep and then don't even reference him in the next? What?! This ties into a bigger problem with the show -- way too much focus on the mundane aspects of people's lives. Sure, you need those smaller moments to balance out the big stuff. But right now, the whole show is centered around all these little human-drama plotlines - the wife maybe sleeping with another guy, the main character going back to drinking, the FBI agent starting to date a new woman, etc. This was a huge mistake from the pilot that quickly began to aversely affect the tone of the show. The main throughline should be a focus on the how's and why's of the flash-forwards - all that other stuff should be relegated to the periphery. In the world of the show, a huge, world-shattering event just took place that seems to be part of some mysterious agenda. How does that ultra-intriguing concept take a back seat to will-she-or-won't-she fidelity storylines?

c.) Be Smarter: Right now, this show is not operating on a level of high-intelligence. Every character conflict, every plot point, everything, feels dumbed down and hamfisted. I mean, for a show where all this crazy stuff is happening, there are so many cliched "how dare you buck authority and go off on your own investigation?!" type moments. And why not play up the sci-fi aspect a little bit? There's a TON of interesting hypothetical questions intrinsic to the show's premise. First and foremost - why doesn't anyone deliberately try to do something contrary to someone's flash-forward? What would happen if they tried? I thought that the show had a great opportunity to shake things up this past week when, for a second, it looked like a major character had been killed off. But that didn't happen, and that's a bummer. Because so far, everything has happened exactly as predestined in the flashes. Where's the fun in that? Which leads me to ...

d.) Have More Fun: For a show with such a far-out premise, the episode to episode plotlines here are so ... pedestrian. You might as well be watching any other show on TV. I mean, essentially, this is a show about TIME TRAVEL. Have fun with that! I mean, sure, maybe most people have visions about their wives or children or workplace. But what if one guy's vision is of a nuke about to be launched? What if everyone had a second vision that was contrary to the first? What if the flashes were a result of some space-time rift that is just phase one of some giant cosmic catastrophe? Just tossing stuff out here, but geez, there is so much potential in the premise - do something with it. Look at FRINGE and all the awesomeness that that show has culled from its premise of alternate universes. Unlike FF, Fringe has seriously explored the ramifications of this. And Fringe also has great characters that fit its universe. Flash Forward has no eccentrics, no scientists, no geniuses, no badasses. There's no equivalent of a Jack Bauer or Fox Mulder or Walter Bishop or John Locke or Sawyer. It makes the show feel so ... bland. I said earlier that the show should actually focus less on character. That's true, but the fact is that if you have a great character from the get-go, you don't need to spend every episode hitting us over the head with additional characterization. Right now, every character on this show is basically pretty bland. Where's the great hero, the great villain?

So those are some of my suggestions for Flash Forward. Of course, some of these problems are fundamental to the show's structure and cast of characters. To which I say: shake things up. We've already seen that ABC has canned the showrunner and brought in some new creative talent, so who knows, maybe there will be shakeup and things will improve. But I don't have time to watch twelve episodes of a mediocre show to see if it eventually gets better, and neither do you. So sorry, FF, I'm out.


- And now, the long-awaited movie review of Spike Jones' latest:


WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE Review:

- For the first fifteen minutes or so of Where the Wild Things Are, I was right there with the critics and fans who have hailed this one as a work of genius. I was completely taken aback by the sheer artistry and power of the images I was seeing. The raw emotion, the somber sense of nostalgia, the way in which every movement of the camera seemed to capture something about the truth of childhood. As many have said, this really seemed like a movie that made you remember the feeling of being a kid. Not just one that evoked familiar characters or themes from childhood ... but one that really, truly made you remember the way your mind worked at age nine or ten. For ten or fifteen minutes, I was sold. I was captivated. But as the movie's initial burst of novel energy disappeared, what started as a strange and unpredictable ride soon wore down to a slow and plodding grind. The sense of wonder gave way to pure melancholy. The power of the imagery gave way to endless talking and brooding and more talking still. The themes that were subtly touched on in the opening were hamfistedly bashed into the audiences brain over and over again as the movie trudged on. At first, I thought I was watching a groundbreaking contemplation on childhood escapism. In the end, I felt like I had just endured Spike Jonze and writer Dave Eggers' personal therapy session.

Even after that somewhat critical intro, I think that this is one of the hardest movies to write about so far in 2009. The thing is, I think there's no question that there is some element of brilliance at the heart of this movie. The talent and visual artistry on display, and the sheer level of originality, can't be questioned. The question then is: did it work for you? To me, beyond the stunning visuals, the movie, I think, was ultimately somewhat off-putting. It was very, very "emo." But not in a subtle way ... scene after scene consisted of characters who were just ... sad. There's so much brooding, so much bellyaching, so many pseudo-philisophical discussions about loneliness and anger and hurting others ... after a while, you can't help but groan. What I loved about the movie's opening is that we meet Max, our boy hero, and we see him playing in his house, playing in the snow, running around and rough-housing, acting out against his sister and mother and her new boyfriend -- you simply watch these brilliantly-shot, kinetic scenes of childhood and you understand what Jonze is going for. The power of the images on screen are enough to carry the movie - only minimal explanation or dialogue is needed. The same can be said for the initial transition to the land of the Wild Things. We feel Max's need for escape, and we get caught up in the sense of mystery and wonder and adventure.

But once Max starts interacting with the monsters, he and the wild things don't stop blabbering. Or blubbering, as it were. From Scene 1 with the monsters, we have to hear them espouse on their every existential crisis in near-excruciating detail. "She used to be my friend, but now she doesn't like me anymore." "Why aren't things like they used to be?" "Why did this innocent-seeming game of war lead to hurt feelings and injury?" It's like we are hit over the head with every childhood hang-up imaginable, in the most blatant and drawn-out way possible.

The end effect of this is that, despite the amazing visuals of the wild things and their faraway land, I was ecstatic when Max eventually sets sail for the real world. At least there, the great Catherine Keener is around to keep the movie's feet on the ground. Keener does a great job in her role as Max's worn-out mother. For that matter, kid-actor Max Records is great as Max. Whatever other problems I had with the movie, Records is actually pretty amazing here. He pulls off the emotion and pathos that the role calls for with remarkable ease. And while I'm praising the cast, I also have a lot of appreciation for the job that was done with the monsters. Sure, their relationship issues and "woe-is-me" brooding grew pretty tiresome very quickly, but still ... it's also kind of remarkable how well actors like James Gandolfini, Paul Dano, Lauren Ambrose, and Catherine O'Hara pull this thing off. If nothing else, the voice-cast really does bring these characters to life and makes them empathetic.

And a lot of that has to do with the amazing visuals as well. The craft and detail on the monsters is incredible. The amount of personality that the costumes and CGI-augmented faces possess is unprecedented. And the juxtaposition of these otherworldy, storybook monsters with the sweeping vistas, expansive deserts, and golden fields of their faraway land is often breathtaking. Jonez does an amazing job with the camera. The angles, the cinematography, all evoke this sweeping sense of awe and wonder. This movie looks stunning.

When I was caught up in the visuals and the atmosphere, I was into it. But a lot of the time, I just felt like I was on this plodding, aimless journey with no point to it. The movie felt needlessly somber and way too heavy-handed to me. Like I said, that opening did a great job of capturing the spirit of childhood. But soon enough, it felt like a bunch of sad, grown men putting their personal neuroses from childhood on full display for all to see. I couldn't help but get bored, restless, and frustrated with the movie. And yet ... I think it's worth seeing. It is a personal vision, and it is unique, and it does possess some amazing, memorable visuals that are not quite like anything you've seen. But ultimately, did the movie work for me as it was meant to? Not really. I'd call this an ambitious but problematic miss.

My Grade: B-


- Alright, check back soon for more!

TRICK R' TREAT! A Halloween Movie Marathon Recap, Plus: TRICK R' TREAT - Reviewed! And: Smallville and Glee Thoughts!

Another HALLOWEEN HORROR MOVIE MARATHON has come and gone, and I'm happy to say that it was another successful night of thrills, chills, and teenaged werewolves. Saturday night's annual horrorthon was once again good times, and I thought the lineup of movies turned out well, with (mostly) crowd-pleasing results. This year's selection was somewhat unique in that I had personally never seen any of the featured films before. Nope, not even TEEN WOLF. That one was fun ... do I think it's a good movie? No. But it's a good one to watch with a group and mock mercilessly for its sheer absurdity. It's amazing how they could actually pull off a movie like that in the 80's. I mean, say what you want about the quality of movies today, but, wow, I feel like if Teen Wolf came out now, it would be totally ridiculed by critics and fans. But yeah, this was a fun movie if only for its sheer craziness. NEAR DARK on the other hand, was an awesome flick, but perhaps not the greatest party movie, as it at times was more of an atmospheric journey than a fast-paced thriller. But still ... the movie had some crazy moments of outlaw vampire badassery, and actors like Bill Paxton and Lance Henrikson were totally at the top of their game here. And the amazing direction from Katherine Bigelow reaffirmed what I extrapolated from The Hurt Locker - she is the real deal. She may still mostly be known for Point Break, but man, the woman can direct action and atmosphere with the best of them. Finally, we watched TRICK R' TREAT. Since this one is actually a newly-released movie (albeit direct-to-home video), I'll give a full review below. The short version: as a whole, it was pretty good, but man, there were a couple of moments of sheer awesomeness that elevated the movie from decent to very good. More on that later, but, it was definitely an ultra-appropriate movie for the occasion. And of course, we had some classic episodes of THE SIMPSONS - both a Treehouse of Horror episode and the beloved installment in which Mulder and Scully of The X-Files pay a visit to Springfield. So hilarious. So, anyways, thanks to those who came out for the marathon - a scary-good time was had by all, and looking forward to doing it again next year!


TV STUFF:

- SMALLVILLE had a somewhat weak episode this past Friday, with the focus being on Oliver Queen and his current "identity crisis" of sorts. In the past few weeks, we've seen Oliver quit his life as the Green Arrow in favor of a hard-drinkin', hard-travelin' lifestyle involving lots of self-pity and brooding. As if all of Clark's self-doubt at the beginning of the season wasn't enough ... But really, it wasn't so much the premise of this episode that was bad, just the execution. I was actually excited to see Oliver and Clark tangle with Roulette, a cool villain from the comics created a few years ago by Geoff Johns in the pages of JSA. Her gimmick has long been a scheme in which she runs an underground gambling ring of sorts frequented by super-villain types, with the main attraction being hero-on-hero battles in which the good guys are forced to fight each other, or else suffer some horrible punishment cooked up by Roulette. So, did any of that coolness translate from page to screen? Um, no. Sure, they nailed Roulette's look, but that was about it. Instead of cool underground hero-fights, we got a rip off of the movie The Game, in which Ollie is put through a bunch of "are-they-real-or-just-part-of-the-game?"-style challenges. But the whole thing just felt plodding. Even worse was the peripheral stuff going on. Lois has been getting more and more annoying every episode this season, and this one did her no favors. So, "every year" she and Oliver play beer pong on his birthday? Like in all two of the years he's been on the show? And again, the Lois-Clark dynamic is getting sickeningly cheesy. They were so much better when they were written as having the traditional Lois/Clark friendly rivalry thing going, as opposed to now where they just stare into each other's eyes for half of every episode. Anyways, this season of Smallville has been kind of schizo so far, weighted more towards the side of fail. This episode was not a step in the right direction.

My Grade: C

- I hinted last week that I've been getting back into GLEE. And it's true. A couple of weeks ago I felt almost ready to drop the show, but ever since Kristen Chenoweth's guest appearance I think that it's been on a roll. Wednesday's episode was another good one, and like I was saying last week, I think the show has done a great job of shifting its focus a bit, to the point where the character dynamics now make a lot more sense than they did before. Teri is now something of a villain. Quinn is 1000 times more interesting than she was originally. Sue Sylvester is like the female Chuck Norris, increasingly hilarious in every episode. I loved the recurring theme of getting hit in the face with a Slushie in last week's ep. It takes skills to craft a whole episode around such a random thing, but somehow, Glee did it. And the fact that they pulled off that feat made me realize that this show has more win than I initially gave it credit for. I'm in for the longhaul, at least for now.

My Grade: A-

- I have Thursday's FLASH FORWARD on my DVR, but haven't watched yet, and not sure if I will. Thoughts?



- Alright, as promised, here's a review of the recently-released horror flick, TRICK R' TREAT.



TRICK R' TREAT Review:

- Trick R' Treat is a great Halloween movie, no question. I watched this one as part of my annual Halloween Horror Movie Marathon, and I think it's safe to say that it turned out to be a crowd-pleaser. With a fun cast, a cool structure, and some very fun surprises, Trick R' Treat will likely be a staple of Halloween movie-viewing for a long time to come.

Written and directed by Michael Dougherty, and exec-produced by Bryan Singer, Trick R' Treat marks a reunion of sorts for the team behind the original X-Men movies (it also features X-Men alumni Anna Paquin and Brian Cox). But what makes the movie stand out to me is that, stylistically, this is very much in the vein of EC Comics, Tales From the Crypt, Creepshow, etc. - that is, it's a horror anthology that focuses on darkly comedic morality plays, most of which have some sort of ironic twist at the end. I love that stuff, and the movie pays obvious tribute to its various inspirations with animated opening and closing sequences presented in a comic book style.

The big twist here is that, yes, this is an anthology, but at the same time, there are no hard breaks between the various storylines. Instead, we cut back and forth between them, at times stopping to focus on a particular set of characters. Meanwhile, the various stories intersect and crossover in often unexpected ways. In fact, things really start to get interesting when they do.

The various stories each focus on the mythology and experience of Halloween from a different perspective. First, we've got a group of kids out trick-or-treating - they seem like a nice enough bunch, but soon we find out that their Halloween plans include a rather sinister prank. Next, we've got a group of teens out on the prowl for a happening Halloween party. They seem like your typical horror movie victims-in-waiting, but again, all is not as it seems. Then there's a creepy middle-aged school principal, played by Spiderman's Dylan Baker. For him, Halloween is a chance to let it all hang out, so to speak. And finally, there's a curmudgeonly guy who is basically the Halloween equivalent of Scrooge. Given his hatred of Halloween, it's only a matter of time before this bitter soul, played by Brian Cox, runs afoul of Sam, the movie's mascot of sorts. Because throughout the movie, "Sam," lurks in the shadows. Charged with preserving the spirit of Halloween, like a creepy version of Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny, Sam is a little guy who looks like a cross between Jack Pumpkinhead and The Scarecrow. And despite his miniscule size, the guy packs a punch.

Trick R' Treat takes a while to really get into its groove, but about midway through the movie, things really pick up, as the various twists start popping up. In fact, there is one incredible sequence involving Anna Paquin and her teenaged friends that absolutely blows the doors down. Before that sequence, I was thinking the movie was only okay. But after that, I had to admit, this was getting good.

The movie is a nice combo of lots of various Halloween tropes. And it looks great too, thanks to some inspired direction from Daugherty. The movie is overflowing with Halloween atmosphere - glowing jack o' lanterns, creepy music, and that aforementioned sense of dark, ironic humor. And the script, while not overflowing with memorable dialogue or anything, nonetheless captures that spooky, sitting-around-the-campfire vibe. And the way the various stories criss-cross is also handled very cleverly.

All in all, this one definitely can be considered a Halloween treat. It's a shame it didn't get the theatrical release it deserved. But hey, I digitally rented it in HD via XBOX - a Halloween Horror Movie Marathon first. I certainly got some bang for my buck. And some of my friends were even reported to have walked back to their cars after the party on the lookout for diminuitive pumpkin-men with murderous intent. A sign of a horror movie that's done its job.

My Grade: B+


- Okay, that's all for now ... next: a review of WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE!

Gettin' My Freak On: CIRQUE DU FREAK: THE VAMPIRE'S ASSISTANT - Plus: THE OFFICE, MODERN FAMILY, and Jew-Night at the Laugh Factory!

So Wednesday night I had a great time attending "Schtick 'em Up," a Jewish-themed comedy night held at LA's famous Laugh Factory comedy club. The event, sponsored in part by Birthright Israel, was a great showcase for several very funny comedians. The headliner, Elon Gold, is someone who I'm familar with from my NBC Page days, as he occasionally did stand-up on The Tonight Show. But Gold was great last night, and he kept the Jewish jokes flowing fast and free. In fact, rarely have I ever heard so many Jewish jokes in one sitting. I heard riffs on the differences between Israelis and American Jews, on why Jewish men love to date Asian women, and why Jews should never go rapelling. I heard many a hilarious Israeli accent, and laughed a lot as Elon Gold did his "Jewish Latin Lothario" character, Don Juanstien, the smooth-talkin' hebrew who promises to take his special lady friends to exotic vacations to the most romantic city on earth ... Haifa. Hilarious. I will say, the lineup of comedians was great, but there was definitely one oddball in the bunch, that being Charlie Fleischer, the man best known as the voice of iconic Disney character Roger Rabbit. All I can say is ... wow. Fleischer's act was utterly and completely insane. I guess that random bat-$*^# crazy comedy is his stock in trade, but still, I think the audience's collective jaws were on the floor for most of his set -- which while occasionally funny in a WTF?! kind of way, was just 100% completely out-there. Crazy. Anyways, the show was a lot of fun, and it was great laughing and hanging out with some of my Birthright crew. Havah Nagilah, baby.


- Otherwise, I've been trying to get into the Halloween spirit. Last weekend was our annual trip to Knott's, and this weekend marks another Danny Baram yearly special -- the Halloween Horror Movie Marathon. More on that next week, but yeah, hyped to finally see cult classic vampire flick Near Dark, and also psyched to see potentially new-classic Trick r' Treat.


- As far as movies go, I've still got to see WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE and also BLACK DYNAMITE Also, I kind of want to see ASTRO BOY. It looks like an interesting mix of anime and American animation sensibilities, and it features the voice of Kristen Bell in one of the lead roles. Plus, who doesn't love stories about cyborg superheroes? Dammit, now I really want to see a crazy CGI Mega Man movie!

Also, last night I managed to catch a free screening of CIRQUE DU FREAK: THE VAMPIRE'S ASSISTANT. I saw a couple of reviews favorably comparing the movie to the likes of The Goonies, Monster Squad, and Sky High. Is it really in the same league as those other revered classics in the kids comedy/adventure genre? Scroll down for the answer. But first ...



TV STUFF:


- MODERN FAMILY continues to absolutely kill. Wedneday's episode was another awesome installment, filled with great character moments, hilarious jokes, and some very inspired writing and acting. I loved the interaction between Phil and Gloria, and the ongoing idea that Phil has a huge crush on his new stepmother. Ty Burell was so hilarious in this one - at times, I've worried that his character is a bit too much, a bit too cartoonish. But at the end of the day, Phil just gets a lot of the best lines and moments, and Burell's delivery is awesome. I mean, the entire scene of Phil in Gloria's bedroom, covered in her underwear ... oh man, classic. I also love that the show continues to give us new layers to its characters each week. This week we find out that Cam is a former football player and a huge fan ("surprise!"), and that Claire has a lot of pent-up resentment towards Gloria (she's a "coal-digger"). My only complaint with this one was that the ending was a little too sweet and saccharine. Especially after last week's brilliantly subversive ending, this one was a little too feel-good. Still, Modern Family is rocking.

My Grade: A-

- Last night's episode of THE OFFICE was dark, dark, dark, but very funny at times. The whole plotline of Michael having taken Pam's mom as his "lover" is just #$%#'ed up beyond comprehension, and Pam's reaction of horror mixed with anger and revulsion was pretty understandable despite the extremes to which she took things. Jenna Fischer did a great job in this one. But the episode worked so well because there were a ton of funny character bits surrounding the main, cringe-inducing A-story. From Creed crying to Dwight scheming to Ryan's fedora of mysterious origin, there was a ton of funny stuff going on in the periphery. But man, this episode went to some very messed-up places. I give credit to the writers that they somehow managed to pull together a semi-sweet ending out of this one, with Jim doing his best to console Pam - reminding her of the good times they had together on their honeymoon, as opposed to her current living-nightmare that her mom is gettin' busy with her psycho-creepy boss. One thing's for sure - the Office still = must see TV.

My Grade: A-

- After last night's episode, I think that reports of 30 ROCK's demise may have been greatly exaggerated. I saw that The AV Club gave this one a somewhat harsh grade, but on this occasion, I'm not sure what they were smoking. This was a great episode of 30 Rock. I mean, Will Arnett was back, for one thing, and that means awesomeness. Arnett was in fine form as Jack's corporate rival, and the scenes between them were friggin' hilarious (their argument about hot vs. cold pizza was amazing). Meanwhile, Tracy Morgan got in some of his best lines in a long while. I was dying during one of his exchanges with Liz Lemon where he randomly began speaking only with two-dollar words. The two subplots that didn't quite work as well in this one were those revolving around Jenna (she went to Iceland to film a B-grade werewolf movie, playing a "moonologist"), and Kenneth (turns out he's part of a group called Big Brother, that secretly keeps watch on people in case they do bad things). There was almost too much going on in this one, but the hilarity of the main storylines more than made up for the shortcomings. And we even saw a glimpse of a 30 Rock porn! Good lord.

My Grade: A-

- I thought PARKS & RECREATION faltered a bit last night. Here's the thing: the main ongoing plotline about Leslie trying to fill the pit ... is boring. So too is Rashida Jones' relationship with Chris Pratt. These are the very same plot points that turned me off from the pilot, and so it was a bit of a letdown to see them pop up again here. What's worked the last few eps has been an increased focus on the supporting characters (Aziz, the intern, etc.), and the introduction of Louis CK as a cop with a crush on Leslie. This ep felt like a Season 1 ep - it didn't have the punch or the sharpness of the last few weeks.

My Grade: B-

- I'm still in catch-up mode on GLEE. I will say this - I had been considering dropping the show, but the last few weeks' worth of eps have definitely sucked me back in. I feel like the character dynamics have really gotten interesting of late. One brilliant move was making Will's wife Terri into the defacto villain of the show. Now that they've given up on trying to make her overly sympathetic, it's a lot more fun to just sit back and hate her. Another smart play was upping the screentime for Jane Lynch's Sue Sylvester. Lynch is plain and simply one of THE funniest people on TV right now, if not THE funniest. Glee needs here as a constant presence, and luckily she's become much more prominent. The more of her awesomely kickass line deliveries and female badassery that we get per episode, the better. Glee is still sort of all over the place in terms of plot and tone, but in the end, great characters always win out.


- Alright, enough TV for now ... it's time to get spooky, bloody, and decidedly undead, as in the spirit of the Halloween season, I present:

CIRQUE DU FREAK: THE VAMPIRE'S ASSISTANT Review:

- This movie reminds me of one those flicks that, as a kid, I absolutely HAD to see for some random reason, only to be disappointed and embarassed that I had gotten so worked up about it in the first place. Let's face it, when you're an 11 year old boy, you want to see any movie that features monsters, vampires, aliens, or Hulk Hogan. And that means that you get a mix of the good and the bad. For every kickass action or sci-fi movie you see that ends up becoming a treasured childhood classic, there's a "Dracula: Dead and Loving It" or a "Mr. Nanny." (both, incidentally, childhood picks of my brother's, not mine!). But The Vampire's Assistant is one of those movies that is a little bit weird, a little bit dangerous, and promises a kid-friendly but complex story of vampires, circus freaks, cool action, and classic good vs. evil undead shenanigans. If I was currently ten, I'd be chomping at the bit to see it. But even a ten year old boy will probably come out of this one sensing that it wasn't all it was cracked up to be. The fact is, this movie is pretty much a mess. There are moments of coolness, but those moments are overwhelmed by some cringe-worthy acting, flat direction and f/x, and a crappy script. A modern-day Monster Squad this certainly is not.

It's funny too, because for the first couple of minutes of Cirque du Freak I was all smiles. There's a cool, mood-setting animated opening credits sequence that establishes a fun and creepy vibe. But within minutes, things take a turn for the sucktacular. It starts when we meet our two main teen characters, Darren and Steve. They basically follow the Clark Kent / Lex Luthor model from Smallville - they start out as inseperable best friends, but as we have hammered down our throats for much of the movie, they are destined to be mortal enemies, locked in an eternal battle of good vs. evil. Sounds epic, right? Too bad that a.) both of these two turn in performances that wouldn't cut it on the Disney Channel, and b.) the whole thing plays out due to the goofiest circumstances imaginable.

I mean, the whole movie is so rushed and matter-of-fact. "Oh, a forbidden and dangerous freakshow - let's attend!" "Okay, cool, wow, that one guy is clearly a vampire!" "Cool, let's become vampires, that would be awesome!" "Wait, YOU got to be a vampire? I wanted to be a vampire! Now I'll hook up with a band of way evil vampires and we can become mortal enemies!"

There's never any real sense of wonder or mystery. Steve recognizes that John C' Reilly's character is a vampire because he's obsessed with vampires and saw his picture in his book about vampires. And he's totally nonplussed about the whole thing. Later on, Darren (who for some reason is obssessed with spiders), decides he wants to be a half-vampire, because, um ... just because. So he forsakes his entire life on a whim. Again, the script here is pretty terrible. Characters just do whatever so the plot can move from Point A to Point B. And the whole thing feels like some half-baked story that I might have come up with in fourth grade. There's lots of lofty talk about a coming war between vampire clans and the big bad villain Mr. Tiny. But we never learn what's up with Mr. Tiny, and we never get to the war, or find out why Darren is so important to the grand scheme of things. In fact, the entire movie feels like one big cluster, because on top of the bad dialogue and poorly-drawn characters, the whole thing was written as if this were merely Part 1 of some huge 10 part saga or something. This is fine in books or comics or whatever, but ... what the hell?! Audience know that this isn't like Harry Potter where a complete series adaptation was planned from the outset. So now we're left with a movie that has about a million plot holes and unanswered questiosn and ends on a cliffhanger to boot, with only a slim shot of ever getting a sequel. That's no way to craft a movie like this. It's The Golden Compass all over again.

Again, the two main teen actors are pretty iffy. Say what you will, but man, give credit to impeccably-cast franchises like Harry Potter. Even Twilight, for all its faults, has an amazing lead in Kristen Stewart. The weird thing is that the supporting cast is made up of a completely talented group of actors. But they almost all seem either miscast, or else are barely used at all. I mean, the members of Cirque Du Freak alone ... you've got Ken Watanabe, Selma Hayek, Jane Krakowski from 30 Rock, Kristen Schaal from Flight of the Conchords ... I mean, wow. But each appears only briefly, and there's barely a memorable line or moment for any of them. Watanabe is kind of cool as the enigmatic ringleader Mr. Tall, but that's about it.

As for John C. Reilly, I mean, I'm a huge fan. I think he's absolutely hilarious in movies like Walk Hard and Step Brothers. But this movie barely takes advantage of his comic timing. There are a few moments where he gets to be funny, but otherwise, he's playing a sort of grizzled and wise mentor character. Which makes you wonder ... why was Reilly cast in this role, one that seems like it would be far better suited for some wryly humorous British thespian type? Hell, freaking Willem Dafoe is in this movie for all of five minutes - he could have played Reilly's character, Crepsley, and maybe done a bang-up job.

There are a few standouts here. You've got to love the larger-than-life Michael Cerveris as the mysterious and evil Mr. Tiny. He chews up scenery with creepy foreboding. Only problem is, like I said, this movie gives us almost no indication who Mr. Tiny is or what his deal is or how he has his magical powers. Ugh. I also liked Jessica Carlson as Darren's love interest / closet sideshow freak. Too bad there's zero chemistry between her and the ultra-bland Chris Massoglia who plays him.

It's frustrating because I got the sense that somewhere buried beneath the movie's flat script is actually a pretty cool mythology. I'd be curious to take a look at the books and see how things compare. The Vampire's Assistant does have moments where I actually became intrigued at some of the ideas it was setting up - rival vampire factions, strange races of trolls and goblins, a book that foretells a vampire apocalypse. Maybe in the books these turn out to be cool ideas once they are more fully explored. But in the movie, the various plot points never come together to form any kind of cohesive whole. It makes the movie feel like an overstuffed but undercooked mess. Making matters worse, the direction from Chris Weitz never really pops. Very few moments recapture the atmosphere of the animated intro. You can only imagine that Tim Burton would take one look at this one and demand a complete stylistic redo. Meanwhile, the f/x work barely holds up to a typical episode of Smallville.

I know that this is one of those movies that you want to root for. I know I did. It feels like one of those underdog, semi-throwback movies that, again, hits all the right buttons to set off your inner ten-year-old boy. But this isn't the next Sky High, and I guess if you really want your Halloween freakshow fix, you'd be better off just watching the classic X-Files episode "Humbug." I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you won't be missing much by skipping out on Cirque Du Freak.

My Grade: C-

- Alright, just about time for the weekend to commence. Keep it spooky.