"Say You're Leavin' On a Seven-Thirty Train And That You're Headin' Out To Hollywood ..." Aerosmith Concert! New Job! 24! And More!

I'm BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK in the saddle agaiiiiiiiiiiin.

Man, what a week. Endings, beginnings, and Aerosmith, all in the span of a few days.

Where to start? Ah yes, this past Wednesday's amazing AEROSMITH concert.

Me, Brian, Liz and Kyle ventured down to the Staples Center for an awesome evening of ROCK, and in the grand summation of things, it was a night to remember. When we got to Staples, we were all kind of amused that our seats turned out to be in the absolute last row of the entire arena ... but hey, at least we were dead center in the middle, so we had a clean line of sight to the huge stage straight ahead of us. So we bukled in and prepared for a ride, creating our own party from high atop the watchtower. Lenny Kravitz kicked things off with a solid set of music. Lenny worked in some very nice and very cool jam sessions with his band members, including a virtuoso tromboner by the name of Trombone Shorty who single-handledly turned things up a notch. Mr. Kravitz brought out most of his big hits, including workmanlike renditions of pop hits like American Woman and Fly Away. Missing were some of my personal favorite Lenny songs like Again and Rock N' Roll is Dead, and things kind of slowed down for a bit as one song flowed int othe other. But then, Lenny went out with a huge bang and took off the kid gloves, getting the Rock out with a slammin' rendition of Are You Gonna Go My Way that brought the house down. Not bad, not bad.

Then, it was time for the main event. Aerosmith came out with guns blazing. Huge production, awesome opening video intro that highlighted all of their hits, and anticipation that got the crowd HYPED. We were ready to be rocked, and we were. What was awesome? Well, overall, the band looked INTO IT. Steven Tyler was bouncing around like a twelve year old boy after too many pixie sticks - not bad for a man well into middle age. Joe Perry was positively WAILING on his guitar, showing all that he is truly a legend in his own time. And Tom Hamilton, Brad Whitford, and Joey Kramer brought the goods as well. No question, Aerosmith was on their A-game to an extent that they brought a far better energy than they did when I last saw them in 2004 in Hartford, CT. And the energy carried over into many of the songs. Dream On, for one. One of my personal picks for all time greatest rock songs, Dream On ROCKED LIKE NO OTHER, inducing the crowd into a state of near euphoric one-ness with the soul-searing cry of Steven Tyler and the pulse-pounding guitar stylings of Perry. The rest of the crowd-pleasing 90's hits were all kickass as well. Livin' On the Edge - awesome. Cryin' - ruled it. The rest of the bonafide classics were all presented with appropriate aplomb. Sweet Emotion was sweetly emotional. Walk This Way walked the walk. Back in the Saddle was sung loudly and proudly. Seasons of Whither - EPIC. These bonafide Big Ones made the show and made it, like I said, an unforgettablly amazing night.

But speaking of Amazing ... that was just one of the songs that was conspicuous in its absence. No Amazing, no Janie's Got a Gun, no Angel, Love In an Elevator, nothing from Nine Lives, no What It Takes or Eat the Rich ... instead, we got a large helping of Honkin' On Bobo, for one thing. Now I am a fan of Train Kept A Rolling, and I must admit that Aerosmith kicked some blues-y ass with their rendition. But one Honkin On Bobo selection was probably enough. Instead we got multiple new-ish tracks that were kinda underwhelming (at least play the awesome Back Back Train if you're gonan do Bobo stuff, or what about Girls of Summer, the band's newest track from Oh Yeah! and a pretty damn good song ...). We also got a Joe Perry solo song (nice guitar, but, um, no thanks), and overly drawn-out versions of sappy new-school songs like Don't Wanna Miss A Thing. And finally, we got a grand finale of ... DRAW THE LINE?!?! What? Aerosmith does a huge, drawn out version of what is a decent little song at best, sings a quick happy birthday to Brad Whitford, and THAT'S IT? No encore? WHAT?

So yeah, that was a little shocking, and it compelled our party of Aero-Heads to quickly compose our own ride-home playlist to satisfy our cravings for prolonged helpings of Aero-goodness. BUT, despite it all I still felt like it was an AWESOME concert. Sure, some of the song selection was a little questionable. But what we did see was a LEGENDARY band, bringing their A-game, rocking like only they can, and performing a tear-inducingly rocking selection of some of their best songs. The rush of near-rock-nirvana that I felt during songs like Dream On, Living On the Edge, and Sweet Emotion made it one for the record books. We came, we saw, and even if we were int the back row, dammit all, we rocked, rolled, and kicked some ass. YEEAOOWWWWW!

...

Moving On ...

The next few days following the Aerosmith concert were followed, well, by PURE CRAZINESS.
The next day was, afterall, my LAST in the NBC Page Program! My last day working on the NBC lot! The last day of my assignment in Primetime Development! Looking back a few days later, I cannot freaking believe that I am no longer a Page. Being a page has literally been my life for over a year now. Almost everyone I know in LA I met through the page program. It was my foot i nthe door, my start, and not just professionally, but in all kinds of ways big and small. So Thursday, still running with a near-empty tank from the Aerosmith concert and with the knowledge that my parents had arrived in LA from CT late Wed. night ... well, let's just say it was A LOT to take in.

My day Thursday was spent, literally, running around. I had that one day to train Monica, my heir apparent in Primetime Development, in the ways of the Primetime Page ... and it was quite the exhausting endeavor, though it was a huge relief knowing that I'd be able to show her the ropes before I threw her to the wolves, so to speak. So I trained Monica, and also ran down to good ol' GUEST RELATIONS for one last meeting with the PAGES. But first I had to have one FIRST meeting with a man by the name of JAY LENO, who spent a few seconds posing for a souveneir photo with me in honor of my time as a Page coming to a close. I donned my polyester uniform, proudly, ONE LAST TIME for the occasion, then, sadly, turned it in to the Powers That Be. I stuck my nametag in the page lounge ceiling as is tradition, so that future generations of PAgedom can gaze in awe at wonder at Daniel Baram from Bloomfield, CT, and either wonder who that guy was, or, maybe, say "Wow! HE was a Page? Cool!" I said my goodbyes to my comrades in arms (lots of old-school pages were in the house, so it was cool - nice to see people like Akhila and Tina there), raided the Tonight Show green room one final time, closed up shop with Betty, Bill, Christy, Scott, and the rest and then, finito, done, over. I headed back up to my assignment, finsihed playing Obi-Wan-Kenobi, and then, when the Student had Become The Teacher (ok, not quite YET), I was done there as well. And in retrospect, my assignment really was a great experience. I learned A TON and feel it prepared me for anything, and there really were some great people over there who taught me a lot and made my days fun and exciting. So finally, that was it. I was gone.

More than one year of tours, Leno, Ellen, Miller, Carson - was through. More than one year of assignment applications, ticket office, CB, the dreaded ticketboxx of doom. Of parking in Catalina and walking the long walk to the guest relations office. Of seeing Andy from Disney who worked as security on The Tonight Show, of eating at the commisary, of the Days of Our Lives security guard and his crazy stories. Of blackened chicken sandwiches, of lunches with Abby and Sean, or my assignment, of seeing all the new scripts, of working with all of my friends. Of donning the blue polyester. Of hearing Cowboy Troy and Avril before the Tonight Show. Of making fun of the people dancing at Ellen, and of taking them all the the bathroom a million times per show. Of checking my schedule, of getting pulled, of making endless copies and getting lunches. Of Yummy Cupcakes in Burbank and Bacco and Taste Buds runs. Of Wednesday movies and Mondays at Acapulco and Friday night dinners (though I'm sure those will continue). It's been an amazing ride, and hopefully the best is yet to come. But when Thursday evening came and I rove out of that Burbank lot ...

I was a Page no more ...

But wait, no time to breathe!

PARENTAL ALERT - parents in town! All systems go!

So yeah, the next few days was a nonstop marathon of shopping, day-tripping, restauranting, and all around madness from CT to here, paid for and delivered. While there is such a thing as TOO much family fun (who wouldda thunk it?), there were, believe it or not, some highlights:

- trip to San Diego, where I had my first ever visit to the San Diego Zoo.
- LA Farmer's Market
- Kosher dining in LA
- art-gazing at the Getty Center
- dinner at Micelli's near Universal with Liz and Brian
- possible James Gandolfini sighting at Marie Calenders' restaurant
- way too much food

So yes, for the curious, I was bombarded with more advice, life-lessons, and general suggestions concerning my apartment, car, eating-habits, clothing selection, religous preferences, careepath, and overall lifestyle, in a matter of days then most people will receive i na lifetime, resulting in near sensory meltdown. But I guess that just comes with the Baram family territory. What are ya' gonna do?

But yeah, I could have used about a week to recover from THAT, but there was no time, as ...

MONDAY - I started my new job at Universal's new Digital department!

Whoah, reality check - this is a real, actual job! No more internships, page programs, or assignments. This is real, and that alone is somewhat terrifying. What in the blue hell am I doing? Well, I'll tell you - I am working in a new department overseeing the transition of all viable NBC, SciFi, USA, and Bravo content from broadcast TV to I-Tunes. Yes, it's a new digital era, and like I said before, I'm getting in on the ground floor. But speaking of floors, the weird thing is that, as Liz witnessed today, I am VERY LITERALLY alone - just me and my boss - it is JUST the two of us, and no one else, on the ENTIRE SEVENTH FLOOR of the 2160 building East Wing on the Universal lot. How weird is that? It kinda reminds me of where Adam Sandler worked in the movie Punch Drunk Love. So yeah, it's really odd, and I could potentially see myself going crazy, eventually, from being so isolated. Especially coming from Primetime where it was a mile a minute, running around, dealing with a ton of people and personalities every hour of every day. So right now I'm kind of just getting settled in and getting set up and learning the basics of the business, getting familiar with all things I-Tunes and NBC. Of course, transferring all of my security and IT stuff over from NBC is nowhere near as easy as I'd hoped, but hey, I guess there's always going to be that adjustment period. For now I am just seeing where it all takes me, and hoping for the best.

But what a week it's been.

Before I go, some quick TV reviews:

24: Dayum, last night's episode brought the pain! In a good way! Talk about intensity - the President's wife in the motorcade scenario was ridiculous! The drama meter was ratcheted up to eleven, and then, you had PETER WELLER, ROBOCOP himself, showing up as Jack's former mentor. What can I say, this season of 24 has been a nerd paradise in terms of it's casting - with Forever Knight, Samwise Gamgee, and now Buckaroo Banzai his own bad self showing up and (spoilers) ... turning EVIL, nearly killing Jack and bringing that icy cold stare that is half-man, half-machine, and all badass. Fun stuff with Sean Astin going quickly over the edge, and the return of Bill Buchanan. Aaron Pierce going from mild-mannered Secret Service Agent to one-man WRECKING-CREW! Oh yeah - references to George Mason and Nina Myers! Sweeet. And what's with the music the last few weeks? It's been ruling it! Kudos to whoever is composing those cool techno-y beats - they are really adding to the ambiance and yes, GRAVITAS, of the show as of late. And what about next week! Tony returns .. and this time, it's personal! Kim Bauer! Too ... much ... intensity. This show, alst night ,was at the top of it's game. My grade: A

The Simpsons: What the ...? Sunday's episode (taped it) was chock full of old-school style hilarity! Groundskeeper Willie was one of the last fan favorite characters who had yet to receive a spotlight episode, and here it was, finally, ya wee bastard! But this is nu-Simpsons, so it would suck, right? Lo and behold, it was actually pretty funny and clever - a fun and amusing riff on My Fair Lady. Been there, done that? Of course, but hey this was solid and laugter-inducing from start to finish. Best ep in a while and a pleasure to watch. More, please. My grade: A-

Gilmore Girls: I just gotta mention that: tonight's ep featured Sebastian Bach of the 80's hair metal band Skid Row, playing his usual character on the show, who is in a band called Hep Alien with Rory's friend Lane. In the plot, the band broke up, but Sebastian and some others form a new band, and in tonight's ep, they are seen playing a rock version of "Hollaback Girl" at a Bat-Mitzvah party taking place in WEST HARTFORD, CT! How funny is that? This was a fun, eventful episode and I thoroughly enjoyed it. Whatcha gonna do about it? My grade: A -

Oh by the way, yesterday, my first day working on the Universal Studios lot, and I run into none other than Matthew Fox of LOST fame eating his lunch. What he was doing there I don't know, but pretty cool nonetheless.

Alright, that is all for now. What a week. I'm spent.

The past is gone. It went by like dusk to dawn. And I'm out.

LIVIN' ON THE EDGE~!

YEOWWWWWWWWWWW!

What's up rock n' rollers?

Well this week is crazy. It's my last week as a page, my last week working on the NBC lot, my last week at my assignment in Primetime Development, and my last week before I start the new gig over at Universal. Craziness!

But before I talk about all that ...

Wednesday evening is going to be off the chain, as three of my pals and I head to the Staples Center for an evening of AEROSMITH, live in concert!

So yeah, it's no big secret that Aerosmith is pretty much my favorite band of all time. I mean hey, my IM name IS Aerokid17, afterall. How did it all start?

Well, it was the early 90's - I was a kid in grade school, just at the right age where music starts to hit you and take hold. I was glued to MTV, and I couldn't get enough of the music videos of bands like Pearl Jam, Guns N' Roses, Tom Petty, Green Day, and yes, of course - Aerosmith. The band was in the midst of a miraculous comeback. After nearly disappearing in the late 1980's after their brief, Walk This Way-infused comeback with Run DMC, Aerosmith exploded onto the MTV scene, with an epic trilogy of awesome music videos - Cryin', Amazing, and Crazy. Sure, these were preceded by a few other big hits like Living on the Edge, and in years prior, Janie's Got a Gun, but the Trilogy reintroduced Aerosmith (not to mention Alicia Silverstone) to my generation and completely defined what I thought of as real Rock N' Roll. One of the first rock albums I ever bought was Get A Grip, and I listened to it non-stop. When the greatest hits compilation, Big Ones, came out, I was all over it, and I added songs like Angel, Deuces Are Wild, Blindman, and Love In An Elevator to my Aerosmith listenin' repetoire. Soon I bought their Greatest Hits, and suddenly became aware of the the old-school, classic rock stuff like Sweet Emotion, Walk this Way, Back In the Saddle, and of course, Dream On. I remember hearing Dream On for the first time ever, and something just clicked for me, and I remember thinking "ah yes, THIS is rock n' roll." I continued to love Aerosmith, and looked forward to their videos, and was a big fan of their Get A Grip follow-up, Nine Lives, even though many dismissed it. Even though I was very disappointed with Just Push Play, and the overhyped Don't Want To Miss A Thing, I continued to have a nearly unwavering love for all things Aero. During college, I was supposed to have seen Aerosmith, in their hometown of Boston no less, but to my absolute horror, they cancelled the show mere days beforehand due to a throat ailment affecting Steven Tyler. Finally, during a break in my senior year, my brother (a fellow Aero-Head) and I saw our favorite band for the first time ever, live, in Harford, CT, along with another classic rock favorite, KISS. While Kiss's crazy theatrics kinda stole the spotlight away from the Bad Boys from Boston, it was still a great show, and it was awesome to see my fav band in concert, even if they avoided many of their hits in favor of new stuff from the as-of-then unreleased Honkin' On Bobo (which turned out to be a decent, though not great, album).

But now, as Aerosmith has kinda faded from my musical playlist in recent years, they are finally back on heavy rotation, baby. Just this weekend, I went out and re-purchased my old school favorite album, Big Ones. Why? Because my old copy was a worn out CASSETTE tape, purchased sometime in grade school, before I even owned a CD player. I hadn't listened to that album in YEARS.But within minutes, I was belting out the lyrics to EAT THE RICH, BLIND MAN, and WALK ON WATER like it was 1995, and we hadn't lost a beat. At one time, that final verse from Eat The Rich was THE coolest, most badass thing EVER. "So take that grey poupon my friend and SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS!" And you know what? I still let a huge kick out of that song. And I still remember the lyrics to Amazing, Cryin' and Crazy. And hearing Love In An Elevator still makes me want to stand up, kcik down the door, and rock it.

So yes, I am PSYCHED for the big concert tommorow. Lenny Kravitz will be there too, but make no mistake, this is about one band - AEROSMITH - America's Greatest Rock N' Roll Band. Sure, I may cringe when they feature such songs as Jaded and I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing in their set list. But then I'll hear Sweet Emotion and I'll remember that THIS, this is the definition of HARD ROCK. You can toss out all the alternative, emo, nu-metal, whatever. This is timeless. This is primal. This is the inner teenager that will not die. This is gonna rock our socks off.

DANNY's TOP 20 AEROSMITH SONGS EVER:

1. Dream On
2. Sweet Emotion
3. Amazing
4. Love In An Elevator
5. Walk This Way
6. Angel
7. What It Takes
8. Janie's Got A Gun
9. Kings and Queens
10. Eat The Rich
11. Back In the Saddle
12. Cryin'
13. Crazy
14. Taste of India
15. Deuces Are Wild
16. Blind Man
17. Livin' On the Edge
18. Dude (Looks Like A Lady)
19. Seasons of Wither
20. Ragdoll

Most Underrated:

- Blind Man, Angel, Falling in Love (Is So Hard on the Knees), Hole In My Soul, Kings and Queens, Girls of Summer, Taste of India, The Farm, Back Back Train, Kiss Your Past Goodbye, entire Nine Lives album

Most Overrated:

- Draw The Line, Big Ten Inch, I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing, Jaded, Get A Grip, Just Push Play

Rated About Right:

- Mama Kin, Pink, The Other Side, cover of Come Together

Alright, enough about Aerosmith, except to say expect a full, post concert review ...

@ WORK

So today began my last week ever as a page! Holy crap! I know, it's pretty unbelievable. And very surreal to see other pages coming in today to interview for my assignment. But also very frustrating. Because you may know that I am a completist. I am always actively trying to fit in everything I possibly can into a small amount of time, and I can't stand to see things unfinished. So it is kind of driving me crazy that my last day is Thursday, and yet a new page likely won't start until Friday or next week sometime. So I won't be around to train them, and that is really frustrating for me. As someone who spent many years as a teacher and counsellor, I always look forward to any chance to pass on my accumulated wisdom to someone else, so I was looking forward to the day when I, the learned, wisened page would have a chance to take a new page under my wing and say "look kid, this is how it's done." Thanks to lacadaisical scheduling however, I am not going to get that chance. And as someone who knows firsthand what it was like to get thrown to the wolves in this very challenging and demanding assignment, I don't envy the next page who is going to have to do the same, though I will do my best to help them out from afar.

Otherwise, I am really excited for my new job, though still kinda unsure of what to expect. More on that later, suffice to say it's kinda cool that this internet and Ipod stuff is ALL OVER the news. Just today NBC announced that the pilot for Dick Wolf's new series, Conviction, is going to be available on Itunes a full week before it airs on TV. Cool stuff is going down, and I'm going to be a part of it.

QUICK TV REVIEWS:

Since I'm short on time, I'm gonna review each show in three phrases, Rorsharch-style.

LOST: Same old frustration. Nothing cool happened. Nice acting though from Naveen Andrews as Sayid. My grade: C+

SMALLVILLE: Gotta love CYBORG. EVIL Lex! Still cheesy plotting though. My grade: B+

MALCOLM IN THE MIDDLE: Still funny. Gotta love CRAZY Hal! Watch it while you can. My grade: A-

24: Big improvement over last week. Great action sequences set to some surprisingly kickass music. Where are they going with the overall plot? My grade: A-

NBA All Star Saturday: Nate Robinson Over Spudd Webb! AI's behind the backboard dunk was still the best though. Team San Antonio dominates! Thunder Dan! Clyde The Glyde! Magic! Dirk for Three!

NBA All-Star Game: Boring game this year, no hype, no enthusiasm, didn't feel "bigtime." LeBron was due for a big one. T-Mac is having a tough year, can't even win an all-star game in his hometown. Kobe is annoying. Does Paul Pierce even care anymore? What about KG - PLEASE trade him. So many good players on crappy teams - the NBA is so diluted it's ridiculous. All these players wasted going nowhere, two best teams are also two most boring to watch. Losing interest in NBA. Long for the days when All-Star games had Jordan, Barkley, Malone, Reggie, etc. Too bad those days are long gone.

Alright.

Tommorow night: AEROSMITH!
THURSDAY - MONDAY: Baram family reunion ...
THURSDAY: Last day as an NBC Page ...
MONDAY: New Job!
2nd Week of March: PIRATE dinner adventure!
2018 - The Island of New York becomes a state-funded detainment center for criminals where only the vile, the venal, and the insane dare to tread!

Um, nevermind.

But it's all
In the past
Like the
Check that's
In the mail
She was a tall
Whiskey Glass
I was an Old Hound Dog
Who Just Loved To
Chase His Tail ...


ROCK N' ROLL, SUCKA!

From the Archives of Danny Baram: MAX V - Chapter 1

FROM THE ARCHIVES, A LONG-LOST ADVENTURE EPIC PENNED BY ME, DURING A PROLIFIC PERIOD IN HIGH SCHOOL ...

WRITTEN DURING MY JUNIOR YEAR OF HIGH SCHOOL:

Max V.
Chapter 1: The Ways of the Tao


I still remember the day he came to me. As my campfire burned in the night sky, the shadowy figure approached me, on the verge of collapse. He was only a boy, but his eyes revealed a wisdom of one much farther along in years. High in the foothills of the Tanggula Shan mountains near the Chinese-Tibetan border he found me. meditating quietly in the cavernous alcove I called my home. I was confused. A white man in the Tanggula Shan, where only those who braved a treacherous climb up the sheer mountainside dared travel? And this one, so young. But he was tough, I could read it in his face. I knew then that my life would be forever changed, even as the boy fell suddenly to his knees, no longer able to bear the weight of his own body. I took him then into my home, nursed him to health. I fed him what little food I had, each day noticing a bit more color returning to his pale cheeks. He was a strong one, this boy. His spirit was powerful, compelling me to pray for him each morning and night. Finally, one week after he had suddenly arrived, he just as suddenly awoke from his sickly state, bolted upright from his resting place and spoke as if possessed by a demon.
“Where am I, stranger? I demand to know this instant! I … I …arrrgh …”
He had overexerted himself, I knew, as he clutched his stomach in pain. I also knew that a fire raged within this boy the likes of which I had rarely seen.
“I am Lao Tzin,” I said, “One week ago you collapsed in front of my home. I took you in, fed you. It is good to see you so active, but I fear you are getting a bit too excited. You must rest.”
He lay back down and was calmed, as his memories flooded his mind.
“You … you are Lao Tzin. I have journeyed … for months to find you. You are the one … who can show me, teach me – the ways of Taoism. You are said to be men of power, magicians, alchemists. Men … who can read the future. I must know these things, and you must teach me.”
I sat bewildered at this boy who had traveled so far … for what? For me? I was once a teacher, I was once one who showed The Way to eager students. But no more. Now I was but an old man living alone in the mountains, resigned to a life of solitude. Who now dared to disturb my peace? I owed nothing to this boy.
“No! I was a teacher once, but no longer. Take your presumptuous misconceptions of my people and go back to where you came.”
I was repulsed at my own behavior. Why had I lashed out in anger at one who only sought my help? Had my isolation made me so hostile to my fellow human beings?
“I am sorry. I did not mean to respond in anger. Your words unintentionally reminded me of … incidents from my past.”
“I know.” he replied in his cool English accent, his words strained because of his aching body. “I know who you are and what you’ve done, and I don’t care. You don’t understand. My name is Maxwell. For the last two years, I have traveled the globe, studying under masters of their respective arts. In Japan, I learned five forms of martial arts; I became proficient in the use of weapons, knowledgeable in the art of stealth. In Germany I mastered the use of firearms. In Egypt I studied the magic of the Pharaohs. I have been to Thailand, to Brazil, to Africa. Now I have come to you, for I have to know something. I have to know my future.”
His future? Such knowledge was dangerous, not suitable for a boy. But I knew, at that moment, that this boy had a very special future indeed. Perhaps … perhaps it was my destiny to be a part of it.
“ I will help you as best I can.” I said softly, knowing full well what untold danger I had thrust myself into. “But you will have to work hard. I know many things, but I am no miracle-worker. You have come a long way, my boy, and I would be cruel to turn you away after having journeyed so far. I see promise in your eyes, a strength of spirit.”
I paced slowly to my bedside to retrieve my cloak, silently praying to the gods to give me strength. As I slipped on the emerald kimono, I felt suddenly a new weight to my life, a burden of responsibility. It felt good.
“Is something wrong, Lao-Tzin?” questioned Maxwell, running a strong hand across his maturing face, through his tousled blonde hair.
“No, Maxwell. It is just, that after so many years, it is good to be a teacher again.”

* * *

And so, over the course of five months, young Maxwell and I trained day and night atop the gray peaks of the Tanggula Shan. Some days, we practiced balance and reflexes, as a reluctant Max braved to traverse the rocky cliffs with only a wire beneath his feet, and only a tree branch for balance. We sparred often, and it was during these sessions that I saw the rage within the boy. He was strong, but also quick, a lethal combination. It wasn’t long before he defeated me regularly in combat. At the same time, though, he was lacking. He looked for something that wasn’t there to be found.
“You have taught me much, Master,” he said one day in frustration, “and my debt to you can never be repaid in full. But what of the Tao? I can learn to fight elsewhere. That is not why I risked my life to scale these mountains.”
This point had never before occurred to me. How blind I had been to the confused state of mind of the boy. He had not yet learned the most important lesson.
“Maxwell, the Tao that can be taught is not the true Tao. You must empty your mind of the rage, focus. Then, you will have already learned all you need to know.”
Maxwell stared at me, at first puzzled, and then overcome with anger. He stormed off, and I pursued, but quickly lost sight of him as he ran off into the dense forest. It was then that I was reminded of myself as a younger man. Now I was calmer, less prone to making such rash decisions, in control of my emotions.
It wasn’t until three days later that young Maxwell returned to my home. However, this time he did not collapse at my door. He stood tall, appearing older, stronger, meaner, than when I had last seen him. He strode determinedly into my home, as I cautiously followed, and sat down on an old, carved chair.
“I feel that it is time for me to leave here.” he said. “In America, I have some people who have been working with the military there. By now, they should have worked a deal. But I have to be there to oversee everything. It is my company, V-Corp., and I don’t trust anyone but myself to run its day to day operation. I have to go there.”
I was flabbergasted. This boy, the head of a corporation? I should have guessed as much. I began to speak but Maxwell continued intently.
“There is much you don’t know about me, Lao-Tzin. Yes, I run V-Corp., but that is only a front for my true mission. Years ago, my father, a British diplomat, disappeared. II vowed then to find him one day, but the journey hasn’t been an easy one. I have been traveling the world since, trying to perfect my mind and body. You know it as well as I, Master; I have a purpose in life that is still unknown to me, but it is there. Thanks to you and others, I’ll be ready to face it when that day comes. You have helped me, more than you know, Lao-Tzin. That is why I will make you an offer. Come with me to America, where you can live in a manner befitting one such as you. No more living in a cave among dirt and rocks” He paused and grinned momentarily. “Besides, I could use a teacher."
Even though my instincts told me otherwise, I already knew what my choice would be. I did not want to go to America. I did not want to leave my peaceful life here. I did not wish to leave my home of twenty years. I went with Maxwell that day not because I wanted to, but because I feared what might happen if I did not.

TO BE CONTINUED ....

The Final Countdown: ARRESTED Rocks and more

How amazing were the last four episodes of ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT?

Anyone who is a fan of good TV owed it to themselves to check out these absolutely brilliant final adventures of the hapless Bluth clan. For two hours, we were treated to a virtual mini-movie - a tour de force of hilarious comedy that pulled no punches and ranks up there with the best of Seinfeld, The Simpsons, and the rest of the classics.

Michael's desperate attempts to hold his family together. George Michael and Maebe's incestuous-or-is-it? romance. Gob's need to put on a show, even if he is the only one who deosn't see his own awfulness. Lindsay's narcissm and total ineptitude. Tobias' walking punchline, the joke that never really gets old, played to perfection by David Cross. George Bluth and his sleaziness, Lucille and her manipulations. Ann (her?). Steve Holt! The bannana stand. ANYONG (Hello!).

These last four episodes contained so many great jokes, so many hilarious moments, so much brilliant writing, so many great inside references and not-so-subtle jabs at Hollywood, so much great character stuff, and yes, so much heart (in its own twisted roundabout way).

Arrested Development -- a legend in its own time. Assuming this is the end, it damn sure went out with a bang. Congrats to all the actors, writers, and producers who contributed to this great show, and thanks.

My grade: A+

MORE TV REVIEWS:

THE OC - Ugh. That's about all I can really muster to say about this week's pathetic episode. Why I keep watching, I can't really say. It's a sad situation when on one hand, Johnny was such a lame character that I wish they'd just forget about mourning him and move onto new stories, yet on the other hand, the lack of emotion that anyone other than Ryan and Marissa shows over his death is just ridiculous. Oh sorry, son, one of your three friends just fell to his death ... why don't you come to our Valentine's Day dance tonight, that might make you feel better? At this point, is there anyone left who actually cares about the Ryan-Marissa relationship? Seth and Summer? Julie Cooper and what's-his-name? Another character in Kaitlin shows up for 3 weeks then leaves, sure to never be mentioned again. TERRIBLE. My grade: D

SMALLVILLE - Another somewhat weak episode. Some good acting by Alison Mack as Chloe, who did her best to portray someone possesed by a ghost. But come on, this is the FIVE-BILLIONTH episode about someone's mind being altered by an outside force! EVERY FRIGGIN WEEK someone is possesed, changed by Red Kryptonite, mind-swapped, etc., and enough is enough! When is this show going to take a chance like it did in the first half of this season and actually do REAL storylines that MEAN SOMETHING? As usual, the strong characters and great visuals made this slightly more than the sum of its parts, but other than its nicely done horror film feel, this ep didn't have much going for it. My grade: C

VERONICA MARS - Great ep this week! On one hand, this show was all about the fundamental - it put together a great self-contained mystery that left you wondering whodunnit. On the other hand, it had a ton of small hints and clues pertaining to the season's overarching bus-crash mystery, and a lot of intriguing new details came to light. Awesome character moments with Wallace, Mac, Logan, and the rest. Too bad this episode was up againt both Lost and the Grammys, and few saw it. This show so badly deserves a bigger audience. My grade: A

MALCOLM IN THE MIDDLE - Every so often this series does a really, really weird episode, and tonight's was one of them. While it was funny if not somewhat disturbing to see Malcolm and his mom, bond while each is bedridden with mono, the Hal storyline was downright hilarious (as is often the case with Hal storylines, thanks to the brilliance of Bryan Cranston). Points off for two plot points that have already been done on the show though. Malcolm and Mom forming a temporary understanding only to regress back to their usual tension-filled relationship, and Hal realizing that the neighbors all hate them are two storylines that have already been covered. Oh well, this show still brings da funny. Enjoy it while it lasts. My grade: B

@ WORK:

The final countdown begins as I prepare for my last few weeks in the page program. Pretty weird to finally see the light at the end of the tunnel, but it's not like I'm going very far - just down Barham Blvd to Universal, where I'll still be working for NBC.

Thanks to everyone, by the way, who offered congratulations in the last few days, I really appreciate it.

And for all those who've been asking ... no, I still don't really know exactly what to expect in my new job, nor do I know exactly what I'll be doing, or what my typical day will consist of. Ah well, guess it's going to be a learnign experience in more ways than one.

My big hope is to get some much-needed TIME OFF i nthe next few weeks. Let's hope that I can make it happen.

And ... that's about it for now. Gotta rest up for the final stretch up in A-203, PRIMETIME development.

TOMMOROW: 24!

FEB 22nd: AEROSMITH!

FEB 23rd: Parents visit ...

FEB 27th: NEW job!

MARCH: Pirate Adventure?

THIS PAST WEEKEND: Our Vice-President SHOOTS AN INNOCENT MAN!

Yes, my friends, we are in good hands.

Drumroll please ...

And the big announcement ISN'T:

- that NBC is bringing back Saved By the Bell

- that I am moving back to CT

- that I am renouncing my Judaism

- that I have an illegitimate lovechild

- and DEFINITELY not anything remotely having to do with, um, "Heath Ledger's" comments earlier ...

So what is it?!?!

It is that ...


...


...


I GOT A JOB!!!


Yes, my desperate search is over! I will be working over at Universal Studios, for a brand new department that will soon be a HUGE part of the future of NBC-Universal.

Basically, you may have heard a lot lately about being able to download shows like The Office from I-Tunes, or watching episodes of classic shows on the web, or downloading "Lazy Sunday" from SNL so that you can see what all the fuss is about.

Well, this is the department I'm going to be working in. It's the future, baby, and I'm getting in at the ground level, and I am very excited. Plus, I still get to be a part of a company that has treated me great over the last few years, NBC-Universal, and get to be around a lot of my fellow NBC Page alumni who work in or around Universal. Not to mention I STILL don't have to worry about hour long drives to work and terrible freeway traffic in the morning.

Now yes, still, somewhere in the back of my mind I can't help but think about what else may be out there, and about my ultimate goal of making a living as a writer. And yes, that is still my goal, and I don't want to lose sight of that.

But for now, I have a real, actual job in entertainment, and in a very exciting field that may just be the wave of the future. Awesome.

Of course, I am still an NBC Page at heart, and I can't even begin to talk about my experiences as a Page right now because there's too much to say. Suffice to say, giving tours, working Leno, Ellen, and wearing the Blue Polyester has been a real trip. And a great experience.

So thanks to everyone for their encouragement. Thanks for everyone who helped me out in the job search process. And good luck to those still looking, because, man, the process is freaking brutal.

Alright, back to work here at NBC.

Back soon with your regularly scheduled blog ...

COMING SOON ...

...



STAY TUNED FOR A MAJOR ANNOUNCEMENT.



let the speculation begin ...

The Long Con

So some quick thoughts before I pass out from exhaustion ...

-- Tonight's LOST was, easily, the best episode of the season. This was the first Lost in a LONG time where I was glued to the TV the whole time. Even with the Grammys on one channel, the NBA on another, and Veronica Mars (being taped of course) on UPN, this Lost held me captivated for the entire hour. Things HAPPENED. There were twists, turns, and unexpected surprises. The producers took things in a pleasently dark and uncompromising direction, turning Sawyer from a sanitary, FCC-approved and ultimately likable badass into a total, 100 % no-good bastard, a con-man through and through. And the transition worked brilliantly, and for once the flashbacks were actually compelling in their own right and mingled nearly seamlessly with the main plot on the island. If previews are any indication, the writers have finally decided that it's time for business to pick up on the show, and if so I wholeheartedly approve. Great acting all around in this ep. Plot-wise, it's very smart of the writers to recognize that we as viewers are getting sick of Jack, who has become annoyingly self-righteous and whiny. So to see Sawyer put him in his place and assume control of the island was a great turn of the screw. The brilliance is that even as, on the surface, Sawyer becomes the real villain on the island, Jack too becomes a darker character in his insistence on finding the guns on the island. And of course Charlie showed new sides to himself as well. Yeah, it's been a while since I've cared enough about this show to analyze it in this kind of detail. But I'll give 'em credit - this episode gave us something to think about. My grade: A

Quick Hits:

- WHY does it take so long to hear from jobs that one has applied to? Basically it's like this: right now I am either counting down to a new job, or counting down to unemplyment. Either way, it's a matter of weeks for good or ill.

- I hear Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant are writing an episode of the US version of The Office? Hmmm ... could be weird, but these are two of the funniest men on the planet so I have faith that they'll bring the funny. And when is that Ricky Gervais-penned Simpsons episode scheduled for again? At the rate that show is going, it will likely be the best episode in years (though on a sidenote, last Sunday's ep wasn't too bad at all, actually).

- Once again, I need a job.

- I think I may just find a rare blue flower that only grows in remote Himalyan mountainsides, ascend to a remote Tibetan hidaway, present said flower to a warrior-monk who guards the inner fortress, fight off a secret clan of mystical samurai, and earn my right to train as a ninja warrior under the tutelage of a gruff but wise one-legged ninja master, so that I could join his tribe of clandestine ninjitsu urban vigilantes. Yep, I think that that actually WOULD be easier than actually finding a job in the entertainment biz. And the pay is probably better.

- Good talk today given to us Pages from Rick Ludwin, head of all Late Night Programming at NBC. Lots of interesting comments and anecdotes - well worth attending.

- Ok, I'm off to become a ninja-master. End transmission.

A Post Full of GRAVITAS

What is GRAVITAS?

Well it's basically the word du jour of the moment, and as an avid wordsmith I thought I'd share a little history for those of you who are pop-culture afficianados like myself and may be wondering, "hmm, why did everyone start using that word?" Much like "WMD," "ginormous," and other words that have come into our lexicon in the last few years, gravitas is everywhere now, but unlike other stupid, overused words, gravitas is great. I have gravitas! My blog has gravitas! My new screenplay has gravitas! This Lean Cousine Three-Cheese Ziti is bursting with tasty GRAVITAS, dammit all.

Now here is how I figure this word came to prominence, and surprisingly, this all ties into a little show called 24. Basically, Kiefer Sutherland, Jack Bauer himself, appeared late last year, I believe, on of all things Inside the Actors' Studio with James Lipton. Lipton, as he often does, asked Kiefer a really weird, random question. The question was: "What is your favorite word?" Kiefer thought for a second, and then said, in his badass Jack Bauer voice: "Gravitas."

For some reason, this answer made waves on the internet, and suddenly every entertainment website is using the word gravitas in reference to 24. But something funny happened - suddenly EVERYONE starts using this word, and now it's popping up in news articles, magazines, and random conversations. My opinion: great word, and I aspire to use it more often. And I also find it appropriate that Jack Bauer and the actor who plays him have joined the likes of Bill Walton, Ric Flair, Beavis and Butthead, and other great pop cultural luminaries who have, for better or worse, influenced the words that I say and write. Which is why I now tend to respond to even the most minor of mini-crises by excaliming (sometimes into a fake walkie talkie, no less) "We have a situation!" Jack Bauer would be proud. Or he might look at me, shake his head in disapproval while anxiously checking his watch, and say: "dammit!"

Gravitas. That's what this blog has.

And before I delve into even more 24 stuff, I want to quickly address one comment left on my previous post. No, I don't like Grey's Anatomy, and yes, I can say that without ever having watched it. Why? Because as a general rule I don't like or watch shows set in hospitals. I just don't. I have little interest in watching shows about doctors or their patients. Now, I have heard so many good things about Scrubs that at some point I will really have to check it out, as it seems like one of the few shows on the air right now that I might actually find funny. But, I can't help but think that if the show took place in a seeting that was NOT a hospital, I'd enjoy it more. I mean, why do so many shows have to be in hospitals? They're depressing and horrible, for the most part. And who really likes doctors? No offfense to any doctors out there or anything. So even if they are supposedly quality shows, I have little if any interest, in principle, in watching Grey's Anatomy, House, ER, and all the rest.

Plus, isn't Grey's Anatomy pretty much a chick show?

(Yes, this is coming from the guy who loves Gilmore Girls. Though I see that as more of a geek show that is mistakenly thought of as a chick show.)

So, back to 24:

- This week's TWENTY-FOUR:

Hmm, there's some conventions of this show that everyone has grown to love despite their absurdity. The inevitable mole in CTU, the always-expected Jack vs. CTU lone-wolf vs. procedure conflicts, the over the top Jack torture scenes. Even once annoying characters like Chloe have grown on us, so much so that scenes like last season's Chloe as gun-toting badass phase made us stand up and cheer. But, there is one cliche that I doubt even the most hardcore 24 fans cheer when it pops up like clockwork. I mean, does anyone really want to see MORE storylines about completely random family members of CTU agents who are psycho / criminals / amnesiacs, etc? NO! So I'm sure that many were like me and cringed when Sean Astin got the call from his street thug sister asking for money, and then later when he was beaten up in the parking lot by a bunch of cronies she worked for, who then proceded to STEAL HIS WALLET. Ugh ... I mean, sure, scenes like this have their own degree of camp value, but still ... are they really necessary? How about more fleshed out villains, more focus on other players in the Logan administration, etc? And then, we had the other everpresent reality of 24 -- innocent, waifish looking women are DANGEROUS when they want to exact some sweet, sweet revenge on their tormentors.

Okay, so it sounds like I complained a lot about this episode. And I did. But come on, this is 24. Overall, this was still a pretty damn good episode. Some highlights:

- Whoever played the old Russian computer guy was awesomely evil.
- Good stuff with Logan and his wife.
- Gotta love Edgar's smile when Chloe told him to shut up.
- Interesting, Walt hung (hanged?) himself ... or DID he ...?
- Jack having to refrain from kicking the crap outta the Russian was great.
- John McCain cameo!
- Gravitas!

So yeah, a lot of absurdity, a few unwelcome cliches, but some good setup for the next few episodes, and overall a fun ride: My grade: B


Okay, I think that's about it for now. Still waiting for updates about potential job stuff. Still stressing out about what the next few weeks are going to have in store. And yes, still pondering the mysteries of David Hasslehoff's "Hooked On a Feeling" music video.

Wassupwitdat?

"He's Gonna Feel THAT One In The Morning ..."

Yes, I WAS ready for some football.

Another Superbowl Sunday has come and gone. Have to say that the lack of the PATRIOTS in the big game this year really made me lose a lot of interest in the event. Still, there is something eternally great about sitting around, watching the Superbowl, waiting for the next great commercial, and getting caught up in all the hype. Plus, the great thing about the Superbowl is that it is one of those few events where the men are men and the women are women. For the most part. I know, I know, call me old fashioned. But it's funny how at Superbowl parties everyone kind of divides by gender, and even the most non-football fans amongst the men are called upon to fulfill their sacred duty of planting themselves on the couch, scarfing down chips, and reveling in the sheer awesomeness of watching TV for three straight hours. Let the women discuss the post-game episode of Grey's Anatomy. Like I care about that show. I am a man and I am there to watch other men fight over a ball in a little thing called the SUPERBOWL. For one day at least I want to debate whether both feet were on the line, nod my head at how badly the refs suck, and yes, do the occasional John Madden impression honed from years of playing his videogames. So even if the game is pretty bad, as it was for most of this year's bowl, I love me some Super Sunday. Whoooooo!

So yeah, Seahawks was robbed I tells ya. The refs were blind! That first Steelers TD was BS! Actually, I could really care less about either team, but still, those are my thoughts and I'm sticking to them.

Commercials? Pretty much sucked this year. That Hummer commercial with the Godzilla-style monsters falling in love Brokeback style was amusing, gotta love anything with MONKEYS, and yes, Bud as always had a few semi-amusing spots. But come on, this year's crop of ads was mostly WEAK. Not much in the way of good movie trailers either. Pirates was the same stuff we've already seen in theaters. MI:3 (As those of us who are cool call it ...) looked decent, and Philip Seymour Hoffman will likely rock in full-on evil mode. V for Vendetta of course is probably my most anticipated movie and I cannot wait to see it. But where was Superman, X-3, or anything else "big?" Oh, that's right - Superman is likely gonna SUCK, and X-3 is one giant cluster waiting to happen. Dammit!

Halftime Show - not much to say, really. Rolling Stones did their thing, same thing they've been doing for 40 years since Superbowl One was going on. Yes, it's amazing that these guys can still rock like they do at their ages, but nothing really too exciting here with their performance, other than a really cool stage setup.

Oh yeah, almost forgot to mention Harrison Ford's um, trippy, commercial appearance in that crazy public service ad. Oh how the mighty have fallen (or, in this case, risen, to new HIGHS, if you know what I'm sayin'). Unless Indiana Jones 4 surprises everyoen and kicks tons of ass (that is if it ever actually comes out), it will be sad if "Get Off My Plane!" was the last real career highlight of one Han Solo.

@ WORK

Had one last (?) go at working The Tonight Show on Wednesday, where I was priveleged to see the leader of the Dogg Pound his own bad self, SNOOP DOGG, as both a guest AND performer on Leno. Dogg was funny as always in his interview (speaking of being high, Snoop must be in a constant state of near-nirvana), and hearing his philosophies for raising his kids was pretty funny, if not disturbing (he wants his sons to be playaz - the earlier they start pimping the ladies the better! but his daughter must remain chaste and innocent always! the man has his priorities straight, Sucka!). But man, the Man can rap! Not that I've seen many live rap performances, but Snoop, Nate Dogg, and the rest of the Posse dropped it like it was hot and delivered their ryhmes with uncanny coolness, and it was nothin' but a G thang all up in the Tonight Show, fo' shizzzzzle.

So yeah, was that my swan song at The Tonight Show? Honestly, I don't know. Still waiting to see how a few potential job opportunities pan out, and I won't jinx anything by going into too much detail here. But if those DON'T come through, well, it may be right back to square one. I have really been plugging away though, sending out emails and cover letters and resumes like it's my job. But will I GET a job? That is the sixty-four million dollar question, Jack.

Otherwise, it's more of the grind at NBC. One cool thing - I've been really making an effort lately to read a lot of scripts that I have access to at work, and have gotten to check out a ton of cool projcts both for NBC and competing networks. And for all you fanboys out there, no, I have yet to get my hands on AQUAMAN. But trust me, I've read some sweeeeeeeet sci-fi / action stuff that will likely be way cooler than a show about a man who talks to fish.

Also looking forward to Wed., when the pages will be in attendance at a talk given by Rick Ludwin, head of Late Night programming at NBC. Should be interesting - any man who has the sense to hand Conan the reigns of the Tonight Show is a-okay with me.

ON TV:

Let's rundown the usual suspects:

THE OC - Die, Johnny! DIE! When even the characters on the show who are his friends barely seem to care that he is dead, you know that the character probably sucked. Alright, this episode, with godawful acting and writing, hit the level of being so awful that it was in many way unintentionally amusing. In fact, I actually legit laughed out loud as Johnny fell to his demise (presumed, at least), as Ryan tried in vain to make a last-minute save. And hold the phone, Seth is smoking pot, and hiding it from Summer! And Sandy is doing nothing, and Julie Cooper is pining for Summer's dad, and, and, and , is that a shark jumping I see out there in the horizon? Sorry OC apologists, this show officially sucks, and if I had any semblance of willpower when it comes to episodic drama TV-watching, I would have abandoned this ship long ago. My grade: D

SMALLVILLE - Well, after a disappointing 100th episode, Smallville rebounded a bit this week with a decent ep that had a number of good character moments from almost all of its main players. The Lionel-Lex stuff, as always, was gold. Clark's anger over his father's deat was also pretty well handled. But come on, this is a show about SUPERMAN, give us a PLOT that is WORTHY OF THE MAN OF STEEL! This week's hamfisted story of a Batman-style vigilante in Metropolis, whose use of a secret identity as a mild mannered reporter is supposed to give Clark some inspiration for how to handle his future double life -- well, it was just plain dumb. This is Superman we're talking about- HE is the archtype for all other heroes, so why would he be inspired in the ways of the urban vigilante by some lame Black Canary knockoff? On the other hand, even if the guest star of the week sucked ten kinds of suckiness, I did JUMP OUT OF MY SEAT when I heard the by-God DANNY ELFMAN BATMAN THEME MUSIC playing throughout this episode. Yes! Best music ever, and I wish they could have kept it for Batman Begins. If only it could have been used for an episode featuring a young Bruce Wayne ... Oh well, like I said - good/great character stuff, annoyingly stupid plot. My grade: B

VERONICA MARS: This week's Mars was a return to form after the previous week's slightly ridiculous episode. Great stuff here, as the focus was once again on the main mystery of the bus crash that has been driving this season forward. A vintage Veronica twist in this episode that I totally did not see coming, and lots of interesting clues as to who was the culprit in that crash, as the mystery continues to deepen. Please, I beg of you, WATCH THIS SHOW. I just cannot fathom how this awesomely atmospheric, darkly comical, and consistently well-written, well-acted, mystery show pulls in the ratings it does while freaking Skating With the Stars grabs big numbers. WATCH IT. My grade: A

THE OFFICE: Decent ep this week, but the show still struggles to walk the line between comedy and drama as the British one did so poignantly. The Pam-Jim stuff felt waaay too heavy handed, and Pam crying was too sudden and not built up well at all. I just do not buy that those two are meant for each other, whereas in the British office everyone and their mother was breathlessly watching each week to see what would become of Tim and Dawn. Steve Carell was funny as always, and Rann Wilson is a comic genious. But not as sharp and funny as last week's hilarious ep. My hope for this show is that the writers can stay away from polls and data that tells them to focus more on realtionships and making characters likable and all that crap. Just make it smart, funny, and the rest will follow. My grade: B-

MY NAME IS EARL - Wow, this was actually one of my favorite eps yet, with a nice mix of humor and heart that this show has kind of struggled to achieve so far. I still wish this show was funnier that it is, but I probably laughed more at this ep than I have at any other, and Jason Lee and Ethan Suplee are friggin' great. My grade: A -

OTHER STUFF:

- I must see THE BORAT MOVIE and I must see it NOW! High five! Honestly, I don't think there's anything or anyone that I find funnier right now that that Krazy Khazakstani Kat.

- NACHO LIBRE looks like another potentially hilarious comedy. Jack Black, the guys behind Napoleon Dynamite, and lucha libre wrestling? I fail to see how this could NOT be amazing.

- As far as kickass blockbuster action movies go, V FOR VENDETTA, baby. Could this fianlly be the Alan Moore adaptation that does NOT see the greatest writer ever spinning in his not-yet-dug grave? If early reviews are an indication, this is gonna rock. Hard.

- Amare Stoudamire of the Phoenix Suns is a beast, even if he is on the injured list! That man probably eats men like you for breakfast. And in other NBA news, the Lakers lose to Charlotte and New Orleans / Oklahoma in a span of two days! And I laugh uncontrollably ...

- Countdown to the almighty AEROSMITH CONCERT begins - T-minus two and a half weeks!

- This Friday: The last four episodes of ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT!

- It's official: 7000 Hits to the blog and counting! Thanks to all who frequent this site, to random visitors, and to those who simply hit reload on their internet browser over and over again (ie me). So even though I've been hearing "talk" about other, newer, hipper, cooler blogs out there in cyberland ... don't believe the hype - because THIS is the real deal - the one, the only, dannybaram.blogspot.com.


You want some, come get some.

Oh, and One More Thing ...

One quick addendum to this afternoon's post and a few quick thoughts:

-- Oh man, okay, I don't care what anyone says, I have to say this: the last ten minutes or so of tonight's GILMORE GIRLS episode was an AMAZING PIECE OF TELEVISION! Wow, I mean it was just funny, powerful, emotional, witty, rapid-fire, and totally real, totally a perfect embodiment of the types of love-hate-love relationship that all fmaily members have for one another. And I know I'm not crazy on this one, because multiple people told me they felt the same way about this ep, which was just brilliantly written, acted, and executed. For this episode alone, Lauren Graham deserves a long-overdue Emmy. From what I understand, this ep was penned by series creator Amy Sherman-Palladino, and this is really a magnum opus for her - this episode just oozed wit and wisdom - there was pop culture, politics, friendship, family, all weaved into a wonderful web of rapid-fire dialogue that bursts at the seams with energy and color. This was an AMAZING episode of a great series that you should be watching. My grade: A+

More quick thoughts:

On 24: Funny how people have long claimed that this show is so conservative-leaning, when this season we've already seen a major villain who's M.O. is that he is masterminding terrorist attacks from within the US government as a means of preserving our dependence on foreign oil, in what was a clear take off on neo-con extremism. Just goes to show that's it's often pointless to pigeonhole creative works to fit into particular political ideologies.

On The State of the Union: Blah blah blah. Bush once again speaks in broad strokes about good and evil, us and them, friends and enemies. In a way, his views may serve as a reassurance that he won't cave to negotiation with dangerous regimes in Iran and Palestine. On the other hand, it's hard to take Bush's claims that we are "addicted" to oil consumption very seriously when he's done jack to do anything about our oil consumption, and was quick to hand out huge contracts to US oil conglomerates immediately after the first military strikes in Iraq. Still, I think that the Dems' hostile reactions towards Bush doesn't exactly benefit them and only makes them look bullish and negative. Where are the Democratic leaders who, instead of simply pointing the finger at Bush will actually step up, take charge, and present a coherant and viable vision for the future of our country? Hillary is not the answer, and scowling disapprovingly as Bush tries to make a joke about he and Bill Clinton's advancing age won't help her likability factor any. Basically, tonight's State of the Union was a lot of the same old schtick out of Bush, and I can only hope that there is some substance to his plans that he has failed to communicate to the public - because otherwise we may be in for some trouble.

Two blog entries in one day? What's going on here?

I'm Not Paranoid, It's Just That Everyone Is Out to Get Me!

Oh man, the updates have been sparse lately in old blogland, but hey, what can I say, I'm a busy man.

The job search continues, and in the process many a dead end has been reached. Amazing how in this age of lightspeed communication and instantaneous exchange of ideas and information, hearing back from people can still be such a long, drawn-out process. Of course, I am now living on borrowed time so to speak, as my time as an NBC page is all but up and any further time I spend here at the 'Peacock is really like extra innings. Of course, when all is said and done, NBC has been very good to me, and in many ways I feel like I'm just getting started here. I finally feel more settled into my assignment, am finally meeting the newer page classes, and am more than used to the fact that I live so close to work, which for non-morning persons like myself is really, really key.

So yeah, it's mostly been dead ends in the job search for the most part. I can't help but feel like I'm sitting on a treasure trove of opportunity in my current assignment - everyday I interact with writers, agents, execs - who all have access to all types of info about staffing and hiring. The question is really how willing are they to help and how willing am I to press the issue. This is an industry where everyone and I mean everyone is thinking about what their next job will be, so few people are really willing to spill the beans if they have any inside info about hiring or job opportunities. Plus, a lot of it is luck - being in the right place at the right time, during the right season. So we'll see what happens, but as always whatever happens, it probably won't come easy.

TV STUFF:

Whoah, I am waaaay behind in my reviews, and there is just so much to say. Let's run down the list of the usual suspects:

24: AWESOME ep last night. Everything was very tightly scripted and the kickass moments were carefully woven into a tangled web of high drama, as a number of storylines came to a cresendo of resoultion with surprising speed. We've got Walt outed as a ultra-right-wing ideaologue, and then in an amazing display of pure Bauer-power intensity, we see him given the hardcore torture threat by Jack - RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE PRESIDENT. Wow, great moment, making one wonder if Jack was going to tell the FCC to go to hell and take out the man's right eye then and there. Good stuff with Mrs. Logan, and also even more good stuff with the Prez, who is doing a great job at being so slimey that you love to hate him. Of course, he seems like he's starting to come around, which will make his eventual, inevitable moment where he finally grows a spine all the more awesome. Good stuff at CTU, good use of all the players, and even the soap-y Audrey stuff was handled pretty well. I'm not really sure where the show goes from here, but hey, that's par for the course. My grade: A

Smallville 100th Episode -- Well, they had everyone going there for a minute. We all thought that, contrary to all established Superman mythos, Lana Lang was a goner. And even though I am somewhat of a Superman purist ... you know what, it would have worked, and been very effective storytelling, within the framework that Smallville has set up. Why? They've made Lana into a completely unlikable character ... one who whines and complains at every chance, and who we begin to think is untrustworthy, and, well, kinda a bitch. So killing her off would have been a good move - it would have rid the show of its most annoying character and given a lot of advancement to Clark's own arc. But no, WB must have deemed that all the Superman franchise's stars allign, and Clark's deux-ex-machina comes in the form of Jor El suddenly giving him the ability to turn back time ala the first Donner movie, save Lana, but then in the process lead events so that ol' Pa Kent bites it, from a heart attack no less - just like in the first movie. My verdict? LAME. This episode had a good thing going in the beginning, but soon it lost all momentum and became a tired variation on Groundhog Day. In the past, Smallville has always come through in the big episodes, even when the season ahs been bad in general. This season has been good in general, even great. But this ep was a HUGE disappointment. It was everything that is BAD about Smallville. Plots so cheesy they'd make Schuster and Siegel cringe, characters that act out of character (Clark is going to save Lana KNOWING that someone else will die in her place? No WAY, not even close), and lack of satisfying resolutions to any plotlines. Just to drive home my second point, there was a controversial issue of the Superman comics in the mid 90's in which the Joker has poisoned Lois Lane. He hides the antidote in his bloodstream, and has engineered it so that the only way it will become viable is if he is dead. Thus, the only way Superman can save Lois is by killing the Joker. And you know what? He REFUSES. Why? Because Superman does not kill. Ever. No matter what. Now sure, this was an extreme example designed as a a kind of moral what if?, but it makes a point that you'd have to be kind of, not Super, to sacrifice one person's life for another. Anyway, I'm rambling, but this plot point really bothered me. In any case, this was not that great of an episode, and at this point who cares about Lana and Clark's forever on again off again romance? What worked? Lex's continual downfall is great, as always. Lionel's villainy is fun to watch week after week. The cinematography, as always, was great and epic and sweeping as well. And hey, kudos to Jon Shneider who was really the heart and sould of this show for 5 years - it will be sad to see him go. My grade: C

Veronica Mars -- Shocking turn of events in this week's ep, and it was an interesting ride, for sure. But while this show usually has me amazed at how well all the pieces fit together as its mysteriesare revealed, I have to say this past week's ep really had me scratching my head and wondering what was going on. Maybe one of my fellow Mars fans out there can clarify? Ie, who was the blonde girl at the end of the episode? And, did this episode jump in time from the last new episode? I don't know, something just seemed off. And while they've always done a good job of making Veronica a teen prodigy yet still fallible, this ep really pushed things to the extreme, with Ms. Mars outsmarting not just the local authorities, but the FBI as well. Stretching things just a bit there ... Still, can't beat this show for character, dialogue, wit, and atmosphere, and even a somewhat outlandish ep like this one was decent quality. My grade: B -

The OC: Well, looks like I can't quite write this show off yet, as some interesting plot developments this past week shook things up just enough to pique my curiosity. Okay, so this show is still a shell of its former self, but at least the return of Kaitlin Cooper, now all grown up so to speak, is somthing we haven't quite seen before. The Seth Cohen as pot-smoker plotline was a bit melodramatic, but hey, at least they are doing SOMETHING with Seth, who it is hard to believe was once by far the show's breakout character. Oh, and Johnny is easily one of the worst and most horribly acted characters ever on this show, and that's saying a lot. My grade: B -

The Office -- Hilarious stuff once again this past week. Michael and Dwight "raiding" their officemates was funny stuff, and while he's no Finchy, Todd Packer is in and of himself a pretty good character. My grade: A-

Family Guy: Sunday's ep was pretty damn funny ... Stewie going all Joe Pesci, repeatedly, on Brian was great, and the whole, um, shower scene with NE Patriots star Tom Brady was just wrong, but hilarious. My grade: B+

Moving on ...

MOVIE REVIEW ....

MATCH POINT:

Saw this one on Friday and I must say that I really enjoyed it. Would I call it a candidate for movie of the year? No, I wouldn't put it in the top tier of 2005 movies like Munich or A History of Violence. But this was a smart, entertaining, tense, and yes I'll use the word -- taut -- take on the thriller that kept me pretty glued to the screen even though I was crazy tired while watching it. For one thing, the acting is all-around great. John Rhys-Myers is very good as the fiendish lead character, and Scarlett Johanson does Woody Allen meets Marylin Monroe, if you can picture that, extremely well. Yeah, I know, quite an image I just put forth there. Now even though this is a Woody Allen movie, it doesn't quite feel like what you might expect from him, as aside from hints of himself in of all people Scarlett J, there is no Woody Allen character in this movie, and the man himself is nowhere to be seen. There's hints of comedy, but they are small, and the movie is mostly played straight, in a very old-school, classical way that almost reminded me of some of the old film noirs like Double Indemnity and whatnot, because the whole focus of the movie becomes: Man falls for unattainable woman, and will go to any lengths to be with her .... so the question is -- will he or won't he get caught? In fact, that is really the theme of the film - will the plan work or won't it? Will he get away with it or not? In film noir, the answer is always no. Here, Woody Allen poses the question (kind of SPOILER warnings I guess) ... what if it's not set in stone that the plan is going to fail? What if it really does just come down to luck, a flip of the coin, and what if the leading man could really get away with it, how would THAT work? So yeah, Allen poses some interesting questions here. And in between the big scenes we get all the hallmarks of a Woody Allen film -- awkward conversations in restaurants, even more awkward double dates, serious parental issues, uncertainty about one's future, women who drive men crazy, and people who are fish out of water in a big city. So there's lots of interesting little moments, social observations, etc. that make the movie very enjoyable - as always in a Woody Allen movie, each character becomes a fascinating psychological profile, seemingly begging to be put in a psycho-analysts's chair and thoroughly analyzed. As a movie, as a whole, is it a masterpiece? No, wouldn't go that far. But some excellent performances and lots of cool little moments make this a very, very good movie. My grade: B+

NBA Stuff:

Man, pity the Boston Celtics, who cannot make a trade that will actually help them to save their lives. So in a deal with Minnesota, they trade a bunch of supporting players and one pretty good role player - Ricky Davis - and get basically the exact same thing in return. Sure, they may benefit from Wally Sczerbiak's long range prowess, but ultimately they are still in the same lower-tier as a team that they've been stuck in for years now. The Celtics need to make the move and trade Paul Pierce, who has worn himself out from endless failed playoff runs and lack of good teammates. Get a fresh star for your team, and start over beginning with your best player.

Speaking of the NBA, who else misses the glory days of the dunk contest? Looks like this year we will once again be treated to a lineup of C-list aerialists competing for the crown, and not the Kobes, Carters, and LeBrons going at it, which is what everyone wants to see. Come on, at one time Jordan and Dominique were going at it every year in the dunk-off, why should it now be relegated to a showcase for not-ready-for-primetime players?

POLITICS:

Well not gonna go on a huge rant on this now, but suffice to say it is a sad state of affairs when the "democratically elected" government of the Palestinian people turns out to be terrorists who advocate the destruction of Israel. How did we let it come to this? Luckily most world governments seem opposed to holding any kind of diplomacy with Hamas, but now this notoriously violent and fanatical group holds some form of political legitimacy? That is downright scary. Hopefully Bush will address this and pledge to take an active involvement in regulating this new regime in its early stages. I'm writing this before the State of the Union, so we'll see what Bush has to say. Hopefully he will get his head in the game and start establishing a positive international presence, because between this and the whole Iran going nuclear fiasco we have a lot to worry about. Let's hope W has his head in the game.

Alright, on that note it is time to sign off once again, until the time comes when the blogging gods will once again summon me to spread my great wisdome to you, the loyal readers. Until then, heed the words of the great one: Train, Say Your Prayers, and Kick Some Ass.

"We Can Dress Real Neat From Our Hats To Our Feet ..."

The Blog is back. And yes, the name is different. What do you think?

Yes, it's the New Adventures of Danny Baram. Deal with it. Will it stick? Only time will tell.

And what a day it's been. Got back a few hours ago from an interview to PA at G-4-TV's cult favorite program Attack of the Show. In many ways, this would be a job I was born to have. The show covers things like games, comics, pop-culture, movies, and has ample helpings of sketch comedy. Check, check, check, check, and ... check. Now, there are some downsides if I were to be hired for this job, but too early to really think about that yet. Of course, it'd be nice to have options, but these job searches never really work out like that, do they? Dammit, just hire me as a writer's assistant on Veronica Mars already! Gosh!

Speaking of shich, holy crap, huge news day today for the world of entertainment. I feel like both of today's major events will ultimately prove pretty beneficial for the public and for the companies involved. Let's look, shall we?

Disney Buys Pixar:

This could be GREAT for Disney, and for all people who fondly remember a time before Disney was the company that abandoned its animated division, made crappy direct to video sequels ad nauseum of all its movies, and basically lost its smile. Now you've got a visionary in Steve Jobs as majority shareholder, and suddenly the sky seems to be the limit. Sure, this goes way beyond just movies, potentially, but ... the first thing that comes to mind is: could this shift help usher in a new golden age of Disney feature films? Also, one get the feeling that with Job's knack for technology and innovation, and Disney's dormant rep for imagination / innovation (um, imagineering, right?), it definitely seems to be a match made in heaven. Still though, Cars looks pretty lame.

The WB and UPN Combine to Form CW:

Okay, this one seemed pretty out of left field. But it makes sense, kind of, I think. I mean, really, are the WB and UPN THAT different? Both cater towards the youth market, and both are struggling to compete with the Big Four. So combining them makes sense, and a network that has a stable of near-breakout hits like Smallville, Gilmore Girls, Top Model, Everybody Hates Chris, and Veronica Mars could be a force. Or it could just be like someone mashed up UPN and the WB and got some weird Frankenstein thing where Girlfriends follows Gilmore Girls and people go insane when they turn on the TV and can't figure out if that brainy blonde teen detective on their TV is Chloe Sullivan from Smallville or Veronica Mars ... It could happen, folks! Seriously though, I think it's an interesting move that will help jack up ratings and give some under the radar shows like Everybody Hates Chris and Veronica Mars a wider audience, and for once these shows will actually have decent lead-ins! Pair Veronica Mars with Smallville, or Everybody Hates Chris with Beauty and the Geek, or WWE Smackdown with Everwood! Okay, scrap that last one, but you get the picture. Now, this deal sucks for anyone who is losing their jobs because of it, and as one currently embroiled in the showbiz jobsearch, anything that leads to less opportunity is not good, from one perspective. But in terms of creating a true, strong, fifth network to compete with the big boys, this seems to be a great step in the right direction.

- Dammit, no new Gilmore tonight! WTF? It just came back from hiatus last week! Could this be some crazy residual effect of the CW announcement?!?! I must see the further adventures of Luke and his illegitimate daughter, dammit all. I think I need professional help ...

- 24: Niiiiiiiiiiiiice. While the plotlines spiral at an alarming rate into the swirling vortex of CRAZY IMPLAUSIBILITY, I hardly find myself caring because this show keeps me entertained. This ep had a nice slow build and then, BAM, it hit you over the head with NETWORK-SANCTIONED ULTRAVIOLENCE, as Jack plunged a pair of surgical scissors into a would-be assassin's jugular, and I jumped up and down as my inner 13 year old boy screamed "Cool!" To counteract all this coolness though, we had another mole, ridiculous lack of security or personell screening at CTU, and a whacked out government where the President gets all his advice from one guy who happens to be EVIL~! Oy ... Still, ya gotta love it! Oh yeah, some of the side characters are beginning to really kick some ass ... I'm looking at you, Buchanan and guy played by Sean Astin! My grade: A -

- Oh yeah, I must say that it's sad to hear confirmation of the inevitable - Malcolm and the Middle and That 70's Show are on the way out. For 70's, I think this really was one of the modern classic sitcoms. Sure, it was formulaic, but its formula was consistently funny for years, and it had a great cast that really carried the show. Why they extended it in the absence of Topher Grace I don't know, but still ... this is one of those shows that may never have achieved greatness, per se, but was always amusing and will live on in eminently rewatchable syndication for years. Malcolm, on the other hand, did achieve greatness, and was a revolutionary show that has somehow lost its luster in the eyes of critics and fans in recent years, even though it's always been funny year after year, and had spectacular comedic performances from its stars and guest stars, including the criminally underrated Bryan Cranston. Even though it's been great over the years, I will say that the first few years of the show were just insanely funny and well-made, and set a new standard for sitcoms that shows like Arrested Development, The Office, and My Name Is Earl all owe a debt to. In the meantime, I plan to enjoy the last episodes of Malcolm, now thankfully back on Sundays - and you should too if you're a fan of good comedy.

Nerd Stuff:

Infinite Crisis 4: So the crisis continues, and I'll give Geoff Johns this - he is crafting one hell of a ride, with more holy $#%@ moments per page than any recent story I can remember. The problem with this style of writing is that many of the sequences seem kinda rushed, and random as well, as Johns is cramming A TON of stuff into each issue, esp. with this one, so much so that artist Phil Jiminez, with his ultra-detailed, ultra-compressed style, is forced to get some help on the art chores this ish. Although, when your help is a legend like George Perez, who can really complain? So yeah, some of the cinematic moments just plain kick ass and had my jaw left a-hanging. Take Superboy Prime's violent rampage, where the Boy of Steel RIPS OFF RED STAR'S ARM, and DECAPITATES PANTHA! Damn! Johns nailed this whole sequence and Superboy vs. Superboy has to go down as a comic book smackdown for the ages. Other sequences that kicked ass: Gotham PD Crispus Allen inheriting the mantle of The Spectre from beyond the grave, Booster Gold and SKEETS hunting down the Blue Beetle's scarab, and Alex Luthor revealing his master plan. On the other hand, the Perez-pencilled sequence involving The Flash felt kinda, well, rushed, ironically, as there was no real dramatic buildup and no real resolution. Overall though, this is the current must-read even of 2006, and despite some minor problems I can't wait until issue 5. Plus, the art by Jiminez continues to be spectacular. My grade: A -

More quick comic picks from this week:

Planetary: finally, a new issue! I barely remember what the hell is going on at this point, but John Cassady's art is as stunning as ever and Warren Ellis as always writes the hell out of this comic, that is, when it actually comes out. My grade: A -

Batgirl: Holy shocking endings, Batman! Out of left field comes one of the craziest comic book cliffhangers I've seen in a while, as young Cassandra Cain, aka the mute master of martial arts known as Batgirl, meets a shocking fate. Wish the art could have been a bit better though. My grade: B+

Sgt. Rock: The Prophecy - The legendary Joe Jubert returns to one of his most famous characters, and what we get here is an amazing looking book that shows why even now, Joe Kubert is a true master of his craft. Story wise though, some good stuff but seems to be a bit stretched out, like there's not gonna be enough story to last a full 6 issues. Check it out for a gritty WWII war story with classic characters and awesome art by a legend. My grade: A-

Ex Machina: Damn, this comic is amazing. Brian K Vaughn, between this comic and the amazing Y: The Last Man, is one of my favorite writers right now - he writes with such an intelligence and understanding of character, plus you always learn something new from reading his stuff. The story of Mitchell Hundred, the mayor of New York City with a strange ability to communicate with machines, is an awesome mix of politics, adventure, and social commentary. And the artwork by Tony Harris is friggin' incredible. My grade: A



Alright, peeps. I'm out -- sooo tired from today, and not feeling ready to do it all again tommorow. As MC Hammer once said: " I got to pray (pray!) just to make it through the day!"

Let the adventures continue ...

Non-Spontaneous Combustion

Can you say: burning out?

This week has been nuts, and all I want to do is take a day, never get out of bed, and forget all about copying, collating, moving boxes, and printer problems.

This assignment is my freakin' life lately, and I honestly don't know how people do it full-time.

But speaking of full-time, the job-search continues, and the never-ending, desperate visits to various job websites, perusing the UTA job list, and trying to think of any potential contacts ... well, like I said, it never seems to end ... and yet little progress has been made.

Worse, I get home to my apartment today and it smells like burnt rubber or something. The bathroom light is out, I think that may have something to do with it.

Oh yeah, it was really cold and windy today, at least by LA standards. Almost felt like Boston for a bit. Okay, it wasn't quite THAT bad.

Oh man, as I type this the Lakers-Kings game is in overtime and what a game it is! Brad Miller of all people with a three to send the Kings into overtime! Been a while since I've seen a great NBA game with this type of big-time feel (even if both teams are a shadow of their former, grater selves from a few years back).

TV STUFF:

LOST:

Lost sucks. Yesterday's episode was complete B.S., and was just totally emblematic of everything that has been weighing down the show this season. I still feel that Lost has the best premise of any show on the air, possibly the best cast, and some of the best established characters in recent TV history. But over the course of this season, the PLOTTING has been utter crap. And even though the Lost apologists claim that this is a show about characters, it was set up from the beginning to be a plot-driven show. The early mysteries posed by the show - what is the Monster? What's with the island? Who are the Others? - all of these were posed with a clear implication that the plot would be advanced and these mysteries addressed. This wasn't set up like a David Lynch movie or something where it's all about interpretation and deliberate vaguness. The show SEEMS to want to reveal the answers to it's mysteries - but just comes up limping when it should be having it's big moments. Look at this week's ep - finally, we get the big confrontation between our heroes and The Others. Is ANY pertinent information revealed in this meeting? NO! It's just more vague back and forth dialougue that means nothing and answers nothing. This whole episode was completely pointless! We learned nothing new, there was no big development, and it was, as always , just treading water. And even the flashbacks this week, usually the most reliably well-done part of Lost, were totally redundant and boring. We GET IT - Jack is obsessed with saving people to the point of alienating those close to him. Did we need yet another flashback to illustrate this? And what did these flashbacks have to do wit hthe main plot? Once again, they just seemed like filler to pad the episode, which was totally thin on actual events. On a better show (say, Lost Season 1 ...), I would have had chills when Jack tells Ana Lucia that he wants to train an army to fight the Others. But by this point, my second of fanboy excitement quickly vanished with the knowledge that the whole scenario makes no sense and probably won't be executed well anyways. When top writer/producers like David Fury left Lost after Season 1, I guess it really did signal the beginning of the end. Now you can see the talent of Fury at work on 24, a show that continually brings the dramatic goods week after week, and never slows down for a second. Lost meanwhile, is totally lost. My grade: C -

SMALLVILLE:

The Superman franchise is in trouble. The new movie is shaping up to be a giant letdown. We've got an effeminate Superman, a terible-looking costume, a stubborn insistence on following the continuity of the Donner movies, and a plot that looks to toss the Superman mythos to hell. But every week, the little Superman show that could reminds us how to really capture the spirit of the Superman mythology. Tonight's ep was a pretty entertaining chapter i nwhat has been a great season for the show, though it was marred by the increasingly annoying tension between Clark and Lana, which is exascerbated by the somewhat stilted acting of Kristen Kreuk as Lana. Also, not sure why they chose to use DC Comics staple Victor Stone, aka Cyborg, as a quasi-villain here, when he is a longstanding hero in the pages of the comics. Anyways, the stage was set nicely for next week's huge 100th episode - where supposedly at least one main character will die. Who should die? Chloe - her usefulness to the show has expired and her death would serve as a good catalyst for the show. Yes, they have already "killed" her only to bring her back, but this is the best choice. Who WILL die? My guess is Jonathan Kent. eeing as how their seems to be a mandate by WB to follow the Donner movie continuity, and we all know that Pa Kent bites it in the first one, it seems clear that Jon Schneider is doomed. I hope not though, as the Kents being alive and kicking is one of the better changes that John Bryne brought about in his 1986 reboot of the Superman comic book universe. Another potential victim? The ycould go for the swerve and have Martha Kent be the one to go rather than her husband. Also, whoever else meets their maker, it's a good bet that Lionel Luthor, nefarious father to Lex, may finally be toast as well. As for tonight's ep ... well, the soap opera stuff was a bit grating, but as always - Lex, Jonathan, and the heroics of Clark made this a really fun ride. Oh, and a very nice death scene for Smallville's sheriff. My grade: B

Quick Hits:

My Name is Earl: Funny episode. Ethan Suplee rules it again. Some good lines. B

The Office: Hilarious stuff with Michael at Hooters. Dwight spying on Oscar was very funny. A -

Last Week's OC - Terrible episode. This week better turn things around, cuz the show's reached a new low point of just plain blandness. D

Gilmore Girls - The Logan stuff is getting pretty annoying, but I have actually been enjoying the Luke and his daughter stuff, and the dialougue is sharp as always. B+

24 Premiere Part 2 - One giant action scene, but lots of tension, kickass action, and even more new twists and turns. Enter Sean Astin as a CTU prodigy. Still not sure what to make of his character, but there's one thing you can always count on -- Jack Bauer brining the pain. Looking forward to seeing how the season pans out. Even if this show can just be totally absurd at times (see Jack repeating the same phrase over and over to indicate he was under duress, and the terrorists never cathing on ...), whatever ... I'm along for the ride. A -

Way too much good TV on Thursdays now. Smallville, The OC, Office, Earl, Beauty and the Geek, the NBA on TNT ...

@ WORK

Other than the same old stuff at the assignment, Monday was crazy as I worked a special, EIGHT HOUR taping of ELLEN. For the Golden Globes, Ellen had all it's audience members come dressed to impress in evening gowns and tuxes, and it was pretty weird to actually feel underdressed in my page uniform. The whole riffraff room was converted into a banquet hall, and the audience dined on dinner as they watched a live feed of the awards. Paula Abdul and Common were on the show live, and Ellen did remote interviews from the Globes' red carpet. It would have been good times if a.) we actually go to eat the catered food that the audience got, and b.) if it wasn't EIGHT HOURS.

WHAT ELSE?

- Flashbacks this week to childhood trips to Disneyworld, dining out at The Ground Round, and endless birthday parties. Why? My parents' old pal Jackie was in town from CT along with the mustacheoed man known affectionately by my brother and I as the man, the myth, the legend, the LOU. Jackie and Lou and I enjoyed a fine dinner at Micelli's restaurant, and they also enjoyed VIP status at Tuesday's taping of The Tonight Show. Hey, I gotta be nice to Jackie - afterall, she has known me since I was born and has probably seen me at my worst at various family vacation of yore. Oh, the stories she could tell you about me ...

- Still need a job. Keep looking for me!

- Oh, Inside the NBA - funniest show on TV.

- I hear some people have been itching to post a comment on my blog. Well hey, NOW is the time. With close to 7,000 hits, this blog is a uniting force, a pop-cultural juggernaut, the modern day equivalent of the town square. Okay, only myself and three other people read it. Or do they ...? Are you a closeted reader of ye olde blog? Out with you - admit your fandom now, true belivers - get on the bandwagon before it runs off without you!

- Let the burn out continue.

- I recently burned a CD of all classic, 1970's era hard rock. It's got ELO, Deep Purple, Foreigner, The Who, Cream, Alice Cooper, Stevie Nicks, and more. It rocks.

- Chrck yo'self ... before you wreck yo'self. Worrrrrrrrrrrrrd.

TWENTY BY-GOD FOUR RETURNS AND KICKS UNHOLY ASS

Praised be Jack - 24 is back, and every wannabe bad-ass drama take note - THIS is how you do good TV, baby.

Oh man, tonight's EPIC premiere was just too awesome, and next year when the inevitable wave of 24 imitators finally come along ... well, they are going to have to work very hard to even come CLOSE to measuring up.

Pacing, tension, pure, over-the-top action, adrenaline, character, speed, and unpredictability. These are the tenets on which the mighty 24 is built, and this premiere took it all to newfound extremeties of goodness.

SPOILERS AHEAD:




Holy Crap!

Okay, so in retrospect it seems a logical choice for our beloved President Palmer to bite it, seeing as how he's going off to star in, well, um, The Unit, of all things (Worst. TV Show Name. Ever!), but DAMN, who knew he'd get the axe that suddenly? RIP President Palmer - you were the best President, real or fictional, of the last five years. Your steely resolve, your unwavering moral character, and the fact that if need be, you could whup some terrorist ass all by your lonesome, made you one bad-ass prez of the US of A, and everytime we see you shilling for Allstate, we'll remember that once, you were The Man. You survived Naked Mandy's poison handshake of doom, your psycho wife Sherry, and all manner of threats, but in the end it took but one sniper-fired bullet to bring ya down. Goodbye President Palmer, may your death be avenged by Jack Bauer. Oh wait, it already was.

They brought back Presidential brother and one bad brotha Wayne!

OH MY GOD, WHY? Michelle is dead! Tony is, once again, in critical and unable to kick the proper amount of ass like he should be, and worst of all he was caught in the debilitating explosion before he could even utter his trademark monotone "yeah ..." - as Jack Bauer would say ... "Dammit!" But oh Michelle, why did the 24 gods take you from us? Just when you and Tony were ready to settle down? Michelle, who saved America from a deadly virus, who could throw a kung fu kick with the best of em, and who always had those two little curly strands of hair dangling over your forehead ... WHY must yo so cruelly and violently be taken from us? RIP Michelle Dessler, CTU won't be the same.

So yeah, what a friggin' way to kick off season 5! We've got the Nixon-esque President Logan back and possibly involved in shady dealings, CTU regulars Bill Buchanan, Edgar (lusting as ever for ...) Chloe, who by this point you kind of just have to love. And in the whitehouse we have good old Mike Novac fretting as ever, and a new shady secret service dude who at this episode's end was revealed as being .... PURE EVIL! Guess we don't have to wait long to find out who the mole is THIS time.

And still to come we have:

ROBOCOP himself, Peter Weller, coming as the inevitably kickass former mentor of Jack. Who knows, maybe he'll donate a robotic cyber suit to Tony so he can be ROBO TONY and AVENGE HIS DEAD WIFE Officer Murphy Style!

SAM GAMGEE himself, Sean Astin, to rule CTU with an iron fist hobbit-style and maybe present Jack with a magic inviso-cloak?

And the return of KIM BAUER! Will Chase return as the one armed man with the master plan? Will the COUGAR OF DOOM be far behind? What will she be wearing?

Oh yeah, Jack Bauer is of course ruling as usual. "Take me to a hospital" "Yeah" "BANG." Nice ... Oh man, the intensity of Kiefer is off the charts.

There is good TV, and it's called 24. Let the 24 hours of the Jack Bauer Power Hour commence.

My grade: A

OTHER STUFF:

LOST - Forgot to review it earlier in the week. Actually a pretty good episode, though it once again resorted to using cheesy, pointless set-to-music montages in place of actual story advancement. Still, the Mr. Eko backstory was good to decent - in theory it was actually a really cool idea for a backstory, though the pacing and story beats seemed kinda off in the actual telling. The Charlie-Claire stuff was okay but a little overdone, though the Monster reveal as an ominous cloud of mind-reading black nanobot smoke of some kind was kinda cool, if not baffling. A fun backstory for Mr. Eko, plus the intriguing nature of the Walt-Michael father-son mysterious online conversations, made me forget for a bit about my overall frustration with the show - and in the end thhis turned out to be possibly one of the two or three best eps so far this season. My grade: B

@ WORK:

Man, what seemed like it was gonna be an easy MLK day is now turning out to be a bit ridiculous. I was supposed to be working at Ellen from 1:30 to 5:30 - but now it's set to go until 9 pm! What the ...? We were given practically NO warning about this, and this is seriousl going to throw off my 24-centric Monday night plans! Once again, as Jack Bauer might say ... "Dammit!"

Yep, still need a job. Help me find one, won't you? Unfortunately this weekend turned out to be pretty busy with various things and not much progress was made on the job-search front. Must ... get some actual interviews ... soon!

God, I can't believe how late it is right now. Where does the day GO? Luckily I have a late start time tommorow, so I'll be okay, even though I'll likely be totally out of it Tuesday due to the fact that now have to watch a taped 2-hour 24 when the actual ep finishes at 10! Dammit! I know, I know, I have it really tough.

Well, at least I have a job.

For now.

(For now being, like, four more weeks!)

Well, if anything will put me in a good mood, it's eight straight hours of working at Ellen!




.... "Dammit!"

Now Taking Applications for the J.O.B. Squad

Well it's been an interesting week in the hallowed halls of NBC.

If any of you guys have been following news in the world of entertainment, then you know what I'm talking about. For the rest of you, I'll summarize - this week it was out with the old, in with the new at NBC, and execs who were once on top of the world soon found themselves given the boot - swiftly and without warning. While I will always feel terrible for anyone who loses their job, I have to admit that it's been a very interesting process to witness up close and personal, and it has certainly taught me a lot about the unforgiving ways of the corporate world, and of the entertainment industry in particular. But from another perspective, it's not all THAT unforgiving, as being an exec seems to be a lot like being, well, an NBA coach. Even when one team doesn't want you, if you've earned yourself a certain status, then you can rest assured that one team's loss will soon be another's gain. And in this case, that team is NBC, and I'm sure that those who now find themselves as proverbial free agents will soon enough find themselves courted by our competitors.

For me, it's odd timing to be in the midst of a regime change, as, barring any unforseen assignment extensions, my time in Primetime is winding down. Still, I can't help but feel like I survived a trainwreck or something and lived to tell the tale after this past week. On the other hand, the house cleaning won't even be as bad as originally thought, as luckily for them, a number of assistants who thought they had, by default, lost their jobs, actually managed to stay on with new bosses in new positions.

But yeah, of course this is the way of things - just when everything is winding down is when you begin to feel most comfortable in your surroundings. Actually, it's crazy - technically, my time as an NBC Page is just about over. In about a week from now, I will have been a page for a full year. It's nuts. So while I've been given, very generously, a little bit of leeway to stay a part of the Page Program in the short term, I can't escape the fact that the clock is ticking - really ticking - and I need to find a job ASAP.

Today I met the new class of pages that just started this week - and it really was surreal in a way. It's like meeting the new freshman class when you're an outgoing senior, or something - you're just coming from different worlds.

So I've just been applying to different jobs, putting my name and resume out there. But just like a ton of current and former pages, I'm seeing that the entertainment industry is one tough nut to crack. Oh well - keep the dream alive!

All I can say is - if they really wanted to turn the network around, they shoulda put me in charge. There'd be bagels every Wednesday, casual Fridays, and Gilbert Godfried with his own show.

BEST OF THE REST:

TV:

SMALLVILLE: Tonight's back-from-hiatus ep was pretty damn entertaining, and I enjoyed it thoroughly. Sure, it was crazy over the top, but in a fun, comic booky way that was actually original and interesting enough to work. They introduced a crazy new villain, had some great Lex moments, and and built up the story well. The Clark-Lana stuff was a bit much (Do we REALLY need to delve into the classic Man of Steel / Woman of Kleenex discussion on an episode of Smallville? I think not). But, overall, this was yet another qualirty episode in what has been one giant comeback of a season. My grade: A -

MY NAME IS EARL: Well, I couldn't help but flipping back and forth between this and Beurty and the Geek, which is a huge guilty pleasure of mine. But Earl did bring the comedic goods tonight, and delivered some good laughs, especially from Ethan Suplee, who is really stealing this show lately. One great line: "Please tell me Mr. Smith is your brother. - "I hope not. What with all the things I let him do to me." (or something like that). Still, something just feels slightly off about this show to me, like it wants to be a smart show pretending to be dumb (see: Beavis and Butthead, Wayne's World) when in fact it's simply a kinda dumb show. Funny, but not quite as clever as it thinks. My grade: B

The Office: I still don't like Jim. He just comes off as too much of a jerk, and the writers just make him act kind of slimy at inapproopriate moments. Like when he lustily smiles while calling Pam even as he waits to hear about the condition of Dwight, who he's with in the hospital. The British office worked so well because it mostly stuck to mocking the little things, then occasionally pulling back and showing how all the little quirks of these ppl fit into the larger picture of their lives, which was actually kind of tragic and profound. This Office just doesn't tread that line as skillfully. But, putting that aside - this episode was, mostly, freaking hilarious. Dwight's coma-induced behavior was funny as hell. My grade: A-

- Still gotta watch tonight's oh so scandalous ep of The OC, where they resort to the classic plot device of bringing back a forgotten younger sibling character as a rapidly aged vixen. It's just like when Cory Matthews little sister Morgan suddenly came back as a voluptuous riot grrrl on Boy Meets World. Oh wait, that didn't happen.

Ultra Quick Sunday Night Reviews:

The Simpsons was surprisingly decent - had an actual plot and a few big laughs, ie :"Your father is actually [name of guy]." "Who?" "THAT guy!" "Woohoo!" Hahahahaha. My grade: B+

Family Guy was pretty funny as well, though nothing too special. Meg as a faux-lesbian was good for a few laughs, and the musical numbers with Frank Sinatra Jr. were pretty quality. My grade: B

- Saw an old Inside the Actor's Studio with Mike Myers. What a friggin' comedy genious. His interview segments in character as Linda Richman were amazing. Oy!

- I know I said in my Best of 2005 posts that I was disappointed with the new DARKNESS album. I gotta say, I've changed my mind. After listening to it over and over the last few days, it has really grown on me, and even though its a lot different from Permission to Land, it is plenty kickass in its own, slightly more subdued way. It's like expecting to hear "We Will Rock You" and getting "Seven Seas of Rye." Still, certain songs, like "One Way Ticket To Hell And Back" and "Bald" rock like mad, while others are a little less in yo' face but still quality. My new, reconsidered opinion of this album: it rates a solid A-.

Alright, bring on the weekend!

And find me a job! Seriously, if you have any connections, hook me up!

And remember, you heard it here first.

You Will Believe ... That A Man Can Blog.

Well, now that you've all had time to soak in my Best of 2005 picks, I figured it's about time to hit ya all up with yet another round of verbal goodness.

This past week was just totally draining. I worked until nearly 8 pm every day, including Tuesday when I went to work, changed into the page uniform to work Leno, changed back, and ended up staying i nthe office until almost 10 freakin' pm. Not fun, and that day just totally sucked all energy out of me for the rest of the week. On one hand, I understand that it's a tough job and everyone is suffering for it together. On the other hand, it's difficult to balance such long hours when one only has a few weeks left before the assignment is over, and I'm all but jobless. I need money, health insurance, and at least a little bit of job security, and fast. Many of my fellow pages are now in the same boat, but I am getting close to being the longest tenured NBC page, and since I started in late January 2005, my year of pagedom is quickly running out.

Forget a new job, just give me a vacation.

- I think I hate the digital camera craze. Now any time a bunch of people go out, half the time is spent snapping away with the cameras. Sure, people have always been phot-happ, but now with digital cameras, every event, no matter how um, uneventful, becomes a photo op. I mean, how many pictures do I need to see of a bunch of girls posing at some party? (Note: rhetorical question, that was). But you get the point. All I'm saying is ... I think that digital photography may be contributing to the downfall of society.

- On a related note, and I know I'm not alone in this - I hate when people feel like everyone needs to see their pictures. Now friends, coworkers, and people you just met can't resist showing you a conveniently accessible picture of their dog, their cousin's new baby, or their trip to Ecuador. Ugh, when will people learn? Not everyone cares about your digital pictures, your home movies, your daily bulletins on myspace.com, etc. (btw, those things are getting WAY out of hand). So yeah, keep the 5,000 new pictures of your nephew's recital PUT AWAY. But, if you're one of those people who has pictures of events where I was in attendance and still ahven't sent me the pics ... GET ON IT ALREADY! (kidding, well not really, I was serious). Now ... insightful, provacative, life-altering blogs - that one is free to persuse on their own time and consumes like they would a nutritional snack ... well, duh, there' s nothing wrong with those.

- A few quick hits:

GOODBYE ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT: RIP (probably) to one of the best comedies ever, which likely ended its brilliantly funny run last Monday. On the other hand, if the show had to go out, it went out with one hell of a bang. Last week's awesome finale was hilarious, smart, and one giant, thinly-veiled F-U to everyone who criticized the show, including the suits at FOX. That was an insta-classic episode, and will go down with the best of 'em. So long Michael, Gob, Tobias, George Michael, Lucille, Buster, George, Maybe, Bob Loblaw, and all the rest. Thank you to this show's talented creative staff, its amazing cast, and to the people who stuck with it. And remember: never use a one-armed man to teach a lesson.

- And by the way, so now FOX is talking about bringing back Futurama? The thing is, I guarantee the show would have been a much bigger hit if properly marketed and scheduled. For years, Futurama was left to die in a terrible 7 pm Sunday timeslot, where it was constantly preempted by football. And tragically, the show was consistently smart and hilarious even as The Simpsons was beginning its slide into mediocrity. And just like with Family Guy, the DVD sales and reurun ratings show the type of hit this show could have been. And yet again, FOX screwed it when it had the chance to push it. Just like with Family Guy's first run, just like with Andy Richter, Undeclared, and now Arrested Development. But I guess one can't deny the almighty dollar ... in any case though, if FOX brings back Futurama, puts it on at 8:30 or 9:30 on Sundays .. well, that would kick shiny metal ass.

- I'm currently trying to get into Frank Zappa, but I don't think I fully "get" him yet. What are some of his best songs? I will say though, "Dynamo Hum" is hilarious, if you can stomach it.

- I just can't get into the NBA as much this year. Partly because I keep missing all the games, but partly because there just seems to be a lack of quality teams. Almost every big gun team from last year remaisn intact, which leaves San Antonio and Detroit once again alone at the top, unless Miami, Pheonix, or a wild card like Cleveland can pull a big upset. I'm not a fan of either Detroit or San Antonio, and I just can't find many teams or personalities to really get behind and root for.

- And speaking of sports -- man, I felt like I was in a foreign country this past week, with all the craziness surrounding the Rose Bowl. This is definitely a West Coast / Midwest thing, because I never knew of ANYONE who was that into college football in CT, and growing up I associated the Rose Bowl only with some lame parade, and never gave a second thought as to wh o was playing in the games. But here, dayum, it turns out that 99% of the population is either from Texas or went to USC, because seemingly everyone I work with was talking about nothing but this game, and doing so with crazy enthusiasm. Well, congrats to Texas, I guess.

- Alright, sorry for this somewhat lame edition of my blog. I really need to go to sleep now, as unbelievably, another week of work is mere hours away from beginning. Will this be my final run at NBC? Will my blog soon be coming to you Live ... From OfficeMax, in Simsbury, CT? Stay tuned.