DARK KNIGHT Week Begins! First Up: THE GREATEST JOKER STORIES OF ALL-TIME

Man, this week and next are practically overflowing with fanboy=approved goodness. E3 kicked off today here in LA, and if you read my previous blog entry, you'll hear all about my trip to Microsoft's blockbuster E3 press conference. Already, the show is creating a ton of buzz, and we've still only heard from one of the Big Three. Meanwhile, next Thursday sees the start of the San Diego Comic-Con, in a year when finally, after 22 years, we will see the first glimpses of a WATCHMEN movie. That same weekend, a new X-FILES move will hit theaters, writing a new chapter in one of the most beloved television series of all time. And in between now and then? Hmm, I think there's ... something. Some little movie or something, can't quite remember the name ...

>Oh, yeah. THE DARK friggin' NIGHT.

Let's give a little context, shall we? I'll try to go with the short version ... In 1989, Tim Burton brought a startling vision of the Batman mythos to the screen - it was a gothic, fantastical film, one that created true Bat-Mania across the country and kicked off the first real, big-time, ultra-viable superhero movie franchise since the Superman films descended into self-parody. But soon, the same thing happened to Batman. Joel Schumacher got his hands on the franchise, and turned them into campy farce. Whereas at least the old Adam West series had a self-aware wit, these new Batman films were just plain awful - squandering actors like Jim Carrey, Tommy Lee Jones, and Uma Thurman, and plummeting the Batman film franchise to a critical and creative death.

Enter Christopher Nolan and BATMAN BEGINS. For years, rumors swirled about how the Batman franchise would be reinvented. Would there be a Batman 5 featuring the Scarecrow as the villain? Would Darren Aranofsky direct Batman: Year One? Would there be a film adaptation of Batman Beyond, or of Frank Miller's The Dark Knight Returns? Instead, the reigns were handed over to Christopher Nolan, who had become an indie sensation thanks to his hypnotizing diectorial debut - Memento, and to David Goyer, who had helped ignite a modern comics-to-film rennaisance with his work on Marvel's BLADE films.

I still remember seeing the Batman Begins trailer for the first time - finally, THIS was the Batman film that we had been waiting for. It just felt right - it was dark, serious, moody, and most importantly, it felt respectful, reverant even, towards the hero's comic book origins. When I saw the movie, I was floored. Yes, the movie had flaws, but the shock of seeing a Batman film done so right, after the last few attempts were so wrong, was overwhelming. Christian Bale was nearly perfect as Bruce Wayne, and, finally, we got to see a film version of Bruce Wayne's journey to become the Bat.

But the kicker ... the kicker was that brilliant last scene, adapted faithfully from the epilogue of Frank Miller's Batman: Year One. Escalation, explained Jim Gordon, was occurring in Gotham's underworld. The villains were adapting to meet Batman's flair for the theatrical. There was a new guy, left a calling card, calling himself ... The Joker. I remember vividly the theater bursting into spontaneous applause at this reveal, and from that very second, the anticipation began to build for the next Batman, the movie that would transplant Christopher Nolan's dark vision on to one of fiction's most legendary villains. I know I've been waiting for this one with bated breath - like many, I consider to be Batman vs. The Joker to be the quintissential showdown of good vs. evil. Order vs. Chaos. Dark vs. Light. One man clinging to a sliver of sanity, the other a freakish nihilist who has completely given in to madness.

- In comics, The Joker is a character who has endured for decades, and to this day is one of the scariest and most effective villains not only in comics, but of all of fiction. It's no coincidence that some of the best Batman stories ever told have revolved around The Joker - the two are the ultimate yin and yang. What's more, the Joker's insanity and disregard for human life brings to light all the big moral questions that serve as the foundation of superhero comics. When is it okay to kill, if ever? Does a hero extend himself to save a villain's life, even if it means that surely more will die? Is a hero more closely linked to his worst villains than theyd like to admit? With a villain like Lex Luthor, it's more of a practical question of disrupting his latest scheme. But with the primal force that is The Joker, there is a more existential question at play - can Batman ever truly stop him without crossing that line, without becoming a villain himself? It's a question that looks to be addressed in THE DARK KNIGHT, and it sounds like it will be dealt with with all the complexity and shades of grey that such a weighty topic demands.

But before everyone gets caught up in praising the movie, let's take a moment to give kudos to the stories that made The Joker the legend that he is. And so here are ...

THE GREATEST JOKER STORIES OF ALL-TIME:

1. Batman: The Killing Joke

- Was there any other choice for #1? Alan Moore's dark and disturbing graphic novel was a pivotal story in the Batman mythos, as it saw The Joker shoot and paralyze Barbara Gordon, aka Batgirl. But more importantly, this was a scary look inside the twisted psyche of the Clown Prince of Crime, with the most startling revelation being that maybe, just maybe, there wasn't as much separating him from the Batman as we thought. The final moments, in which the two blood enemies share a laugh, is a disturbing and memorable image that shows that all of us are capable of going slightly insane. And of course, the art, by Brian Bolland, is absolutely incredible. Bolland crafted perhaps the all-time, definitive image of The Joker.

2. The Dark Knight Returns (#3)

- Frank Miller's Dark Knight Returns has a foreboding air of finality about it - it tells of an aged Batman coming out of retirement for one last go at cleaning up Gotham. It's inevitable, of course, that this broken-down Bat has one last, chilling encounter with his arch-nemesis. The irony of the classic showdown is, of course, that even as Batman has grown brutal and bitter to the point where he wouldn't mind snapping the Joker's neck, well, The Joker delivers the ultimate and final punchline.

3. Batman: Going Sane

- Here is an oft-overlooked story that was originally printed in serialized form in Legends of the Dark Knight, and has since been collected in trade paperback form. The premise is so intriguing though, that any Joker fan should seek it out immediately. Thinking that he's actually succeeded in killing the Batman, something snaps in the Joker's mind, and suddenly and jarringly, his madness recedes, and the Joker, shockingly, becomes sane. Reinventing himself as Joe Kerr, the former villain lives a normal life and even finds love. But slowly, the memories of the past horrors he's committed begin to resurface, and the question becomes: how long can the Joker stay sane before his madness once again takes hold? Very well written by J.M DeMatteis and well-illustrated by Joe Staton.

4. Batman: A Death In the Family

- The Joker has committed many terrible acts over the years, but none were more controversial than the time he, well, killed Robin. While this 1980's storyline gained buzz for its inclusion of a 1-900 number, allowing readers to dial in and vote whether the second Robin, Jason Todd, should live or die, the fact is that this is a very well-done storyline that truly highlights just how personal things can be between Batman and the Joker. It's also a great morality play that asks just how far Batman is willing to go to take down his nemesis.



5. Batman: The Man Who Laughs

- A great companion piece to Batman: Year One, Ed Brubaker's story of the first-ever meeting between Batman and The Joker is well-written and very relevant to THE DARK KNIGHT, as there will surely be some elements of the film that borrow from this one-shot graphic novel. Brubaker, one of the best modern writers of Batman, manages to write a gritty tale that shows how Batman transitions from dealing with mobsters and crooks to a full-blown maniac like The Joker. It's that whole escalation thing ...




6. Batman: No Man's Land (Volume 5)

- No Man's Land was a long and epic storyline that saw Gotham City cut off from the rest of the country following a devastating quake. In the absence of law and order, the city descends into anarchy, forcing an absent Batman to return to take back his city piece by piece. For me, what truly cemented No Man's Land as a modern classic were the final few chapters, in which a waiting-in-the-wings Joker makes his final play for chaos, even as Batman is on the verge of at last restoring some order to the city. The climax sees the Joker claiming yet another victim close to Bruce Wayne - Police Lieutenant Sarah Essen Gordon - the wife of Commisioner Gordon. When Batman confronts the Joker, intent on making him pay for his crimes, the reaction of Jim Gordon is one of the greatest moments in modern Batman comics. I'll be keeping an eye out for it in THE DARK KNIGHT, because it's too good of a scene for them not to use.


7. The Joker's Five Way Revenge

- When first created by Bob Kane, Bill Finger, and artist Jerry Robinson, The Joker was a creepy criminal whose look was inspired by Conrad Veidt's film "The Man Who Laughs." OVer time though, thanks to the campy 60's TV series and some of that era's goofier stories, The Joker, like Batman, was played more for laughs than for chills. But in the 70's, writer Denny O'Neil and legendary artist Neil Adams brought Batman back to his dark, pulp-fiction roots. They created new villains like Ra's Al Ghul, and, they reinvented the Joker as a cold-blooded killer - making him once again a darker antagonist, suitable for darker times. The Joker's Five Way revenge, a classic story that reintroduces The Joker to his dark side, marked a turning point in the character's history.

8. The Laughing Fish

- Following O'Neil and Adams, the iconic team of Steve Englehart and Marshall Rogers further transitioned Batman from caped crusader to Dark Knight Detective. In doing so, they crafted one of the all-time great Joker stories, which was later paid homage to by Batman: The Animated Series - the case of the Laughing Fish. The story is a classic - The Joker uses his toxins to create a new breed of smiling fish, and then attempts to trademark the unique animals. Upset that he is denied legal ownership, the Joker decides to simply kill all of the annoying bueraucrats who would deny him his rightful profits. Along with Five Way Revenge, this is another defininf story that established the Joker as the twisted killer that modern readers love to hate.

9. Batman: Lovers and Madmen

- This recent story, printed in the Batman: Confidential comic book, drew a lot of flack at first because it had the audacity to contradict a few of the plot points from Alan Moore's revered The Killing Joke. At first, I was among the skeptics. But I stuck with the story, from Heroes writer Michael Green, and soon found myself surprised - this was actually one hell of a Joker story - a sharply written, darkly horrific origin tale that shows how a small time thug known as The Red Hood was transformed into the insane criminal mastermind known as The Joker. It's an excellent read, depicting one of the scariest and most twisted versions of the character I've ever read.

10. Batman: Mad Love

- In his role as the guiding creative force behind Batman: The Animated Series, Paul Dini crafted some of the best modern Joker stories ever told, each brilliantly voiced by Mark Hamill. One of Dini's most lasting creations was of course Harley Quinn - the Joker's right-hand woman who started off as a prison psychologist sent to analyze the Joker, but who soon found herself madly in love with him. Harley's descent into love-fueled madness was chronicled in the comic book Mad Love, written by Dini, and it became an instant classic upon release - a look at how The Joker represents an idealized, almost seductive vision of chaos and anarchy. It's a brilliant tale of psycho clown killers and the women who love them.

11. Knightfall (parts 5 to 9)

- Knightfall isn't really about The Joker, and that's what makes the Joker's role in the story all the more intense and compelling - knowing that the Joker, of all people, is actually only a warm-up for an even more terrifying villain lying in wait ... well, if that's the case then things aren't looking so hot for Batman. Knightfall, of course, is about the villain Bane, a cunning strategist obsessed with breaking The Bat. Bane engineers a prison break at Arkham Asylum, unleashing all of Batman's greatest foes at once. Bruce Wayne, already near exhaustion, must push himself to the brink in order to take down the escaped villains one by one, all the while knowing that Bane is waiting in the wings. As Batman nears his breaking point, he finds himself confronted with a Joker-Scarecrow team, who have kidnapped Gotham's mayor and who have plans to unleash hell upon the city. In his weakened and desperate state, Batman's brutal confrontation with The Joker takes on a truly epic tone. As Batman pummels him, remembering that this is the same vile person who murdered Jason Todd, Batman cannot help but scream in rage: "Jason! JASON! JASOOON!" Talk about intense.

12. Gotham Central: Soft Targets

- Greg Rucka and Ed Brubaker's late, great Gotham Central series provided a fascinating look into the gritty world of the Gotham City P.D., giving a man-on-the-street perspective to the craziness that living in a town that Batman calls home surely entails. Due to its realistic and adult tone, Gotham Central's take on a Joker killing spree was made all the more eerie and unsettling. Since Christopher Nolan brings that same sort of grounded, rooted-in-reality vibe to his Batman films, checking out this trade paperback could be a perfect primer for THE DARK KNIGHT.



13. Robin: The Joker's Wild

- Even though Jason Todd, aka Robin II, was killed by The Joker, Batman eventually took on a new apprentice - Tim Drake - who went on to become the third person to go by the name of Robin. Molded by prolific writer Chuck Dixon, scrappy computer-hacker Tim Drake quickly became a fan-favorite. Shortly after he became Robin, Tim found himself forced to take on the man who killed his predecessor - The Joker. Dixon does a great job of building up the threat of the Joker, to the point where we really wonder how this novice Robin has a chance in hell of surviving their run-in. But we also see the interesting effect of The Joker having to face a hero who, seemingly, he had already killed.

14. Superman: Emperor Joker

- As this Superman epic began, the story was actually titled Emperor ??? - the identity of the mastermind behind the tale's strange events was kept a mystery from fans, and so the eventual reveal was quite the stunner. Te end result was one of the more memorable Superman stories of the last several years - as the Man of Steel finds himself in a remade universe, one where hallucinatory, Alice-In-Wonderland logic rules the day and where nothing is as it seems. It turns out that this new reality is actually the manifestation of the will of The Joker - the villain has somehow tapped into the cosmic power of the otherdimensional Mr. Mxyzptlk, and remade the universe in his image. It's a fun, mind-bending adventure, and a strange look inside the mind of The Joker.

15. Showcase '94 - King Joker

- Here's a little underrated gem - a psychedellic, two-part story from DC's 90's-era anthology series, Showcase (itself a revised version of the classic Showcase series from decades past). In this story, we actually take a dark and disturbing trip inside the fractured mind of The Joker, where we see him as he sees himself - a fallen king eternally at battle with a strange Bat-god, locked in a neverending war, The Joker the victim of the Bat's cruelty and reign of terror. I read this one a long time ago, but its evocative imagery and poetic style has stayed with me all these years. Creepy.

16. Legends of the Dark Knight #50

- Featuring a classic cover of The Joker and a grinning cheshire cat, this story saw legendary Batman writer Denny O'Neal celebrate LOTDK's landmark 50th issue by coming in to pen a tale of Batman's first ever meeting with The Joker. While this story would be retold again by Ed Brubaker in "The Man Who Laughs," and again by Michael Green in "Lovers and Madmen," O'Neil's version is short, to the point, and features an ironic twist. The way he tells it, Batman at first severely underestimates The Joker, never realizing quite what a threat the man truly is. In fact, the issue ends with a strangely optimistic Batman speculating that he doubts he'll ever tangle with the Joker again - an ominously ironic ending that foreshadows the legendary rivalry yet to form between the two.

17. Action Comics #719 - Hazard's Choice

- Here is a somewhat controversial Superman story that nonetheless is one of the most memorable single-issues of Action Comics from the 1990's. I still remember reading it as a kid and pondering the questions it raised for days on end. In the story, the Joker poisons Lois Lane, and tells Superman that the only way to save her life is to kill him. I forget the exact mechanism, but somehow, killing The Joker would produce an antidote that would revive Superman's one true love. Astonishingly, Superman REFUSES to kill the Joker, thinking that doing so would compromise eveything he stands for. It's one of those classic superhero morality plays, even if it stretches the limits of credibility. At some point, you'd have to think that Superman, Batman, or just some angry cop would've offed the guy by now.

18. Knightquest: The Crusade - Detective Comics #'s 671-673 - The Death of Batman

- Speaking of someone finally offing The Joker, in the mid 90's, Bruce Wayne was crippled by Bane and replaced by Jean-Paul Valley, aka Azrael, who became increasingly ruthless as the Batman, going so far as to murder villains in cold blood. Throughout Knightquest: The Crusade, we see Jean-Paul confront many of Batman's classic villains, and see how each reacts to a Batman who clearly isn't the same guy they've formed they'd come to know and hate. Perhaps Az-Bats' most interesting encounter was with The Joker, who of course has that almost symbiotic relationship with Batman. To the Joker, there were certain rules that he and Batman played by, and he knew that no matter how vile his crimes were, he would get apprehended and thrown back into Arkham Asylum - but nothing more severe than that. But with Azrael all but prepared to slice the Joker's throat, we get a very interesting confrontation that puts the usual Batman-Joker dynamic in a fresh light.

19. Detective Comics #826 - Slay Ride

- Only a few months ago, Batman: The Animated Series writer Paul Dini turned in an issue of Detective Comics that many were quick to call an instant-classic ... and I tend to agree. This done-in-one issue sees Robin, on a routine patrol, get snatched up by a maniacal Joker and taken on a madcap roller-coaster ride through Gotham, as Batman desperately tries to figure out a way to help his abducted partner. Dini always writes an awesome Joker, but the pace and tension in this issue is remarkable, the sense of danger, the tangible, you-are-there feeling of being trapped in a car with a homicidal clown.

20. The Joker: Devil's Advocate

- Here's another story that has its flaws, but presents a highly intriguing premise that is anther example of how The Joker often presents Batman with the toughest - and strangest - of moral choices. In this Chuck Dixon-penned graphic novel, the Joker's insanity plea is no longer deemed valid, and the clown prince of crime is actually given the death penalty following his latest murderous crime spree. At first, Batman resigns himself to accepting that the Joker should pay for his crimes - that is, until he finds out that this happens to be the one time that the Joker is innocent of the charges. Will Batman use his knowledge to save the Joker's life? An interesting and thought-provoking story.

Annnnnnd finally, as a bonus:


SOME REALLY STRANGE JOKER MOMENTS:

1. The Joker Sells His Soul to Satan - For Cuban Cigars! - Underworld Unleashed

- Yep, during DC's Underworld Unleashed storyline, the demon Neron recruits the world's most evil villains to his Inner Circle - and each has bargained to receive some long-desired gift in echange for their very soul. While some asked for power, others for health, and others for wealth, the Joker was all to happy to dance with the devil. All he asked for in return was a box of cigars - Cuban, of course.







2. Don't Drop the Soap in Arkham Asylum! - Arkham Asylum: Living Hell

- In Dan Slott's entertainingly twisted miniseries, Arkham Asylum: Living Hell, we see the traumatic effect that being thrown in Gotham's local home for the criminally insane can have on a relatively normal, two-bit criminal. Suffice it to say, any place where one might drop the soap, only to look up and see a cackling Joker looking down at you, is surely a place where nighmares become reality. Yikes.







Alright - that's all for now. Back soon with more DARK KNIGHT WEEK!

Finally - Danny Goes to E3!!! (Sort of ...)

One thing I've always wanted to do: attend E3. For years, since I was a kid, I've always breathlessly followed all the news and happenings from the annual gaming summit, ingesting all the latest info on the big games that would rock the industry and have fandom salivating over the next several months. Now, E3 is kind of a shell of its old self. Sure, there's still plenty of big announcements that come out of the show each year, and there are still plenty of big, blockbuster games shown. But the show, from all accounts, has lost a lot of the glitz and glamour of its heyday - no more monstrous booths, bigtime movie stars, or theme=park like attractions that are open not just to industry insiders, but to the public as well. E3 now is pretty closed-door, more bare-bones, and a bit more low-key. But still, you can bet that when it comes to being THE place to hear the bigtime announcements about new games - E3 is still where it's at.

So while I didn't get an actual show-pass for this year's E3, through work I DID get to go to Microsoft's huge XBOX press conference. Traditionally, Microsoft, Sony, and Nintendo each hold huge press events during the show - and this is where they drop all the big bombs and showcase their new products.

---- Of course, the reason we are now in-like-Flynn with Microsoft is that, as of RIGHT NOW, you can turn on your XBOX and download all the best NBC, SciFi, and USA TV shows, as well as a ton of movies from Universal Pictures. The Office, Heroes, 30 Rock, Battlestar Galactica, Monk, The Big Lebowski, and The Bourn Ultimatum. On XBOX Live. Right now, baby. We even had a big announcement at Microsoft's press conference, complete with slickly-produced sizzle-reel. Not bad. So again, if you own an XBOX, log on ASAP and get to downloadin'. ----

But wow, even if the glitz and glamor of the old E3 is apparently a thing of the past, you wouldn't know it from the press conference. Microsoft pulled out all the stops - they started things off with demos of some of the biggest games for 08 and 09 - Fable 2, Fallout 3, RESIDENT EVIL 5, and of course Gears of War 2. They then talked about some of the more family-oriented stuff - a new movie-maker game, Rare's long-awated Banjo-Kazooie sequel, the latest versions of Guitar Hero and Rock Band, and a new kareoke game, Lips, that will allow you to sing along to any song you sync up with an iPod (or Zune, of course). There was also a whole new UI upgrade that has Mii-like Avatars, a new game-show live channel that allows you to log on and compete live in Deal or No Deal, 1 vs. 100, etc against other players for real prizes, and a ton of new XBLA games. Of course there was our NBCU announcement, a new deal with Netflix ...

... and oh yeah, to demonstrate that karaeoke game, Lips, pop singer Duffy came on stage and sang that hit song of hers. You know the one: "You got me begging you for mercy. Yeah ... yeah ... yeah." Pretty cool! It was also interesting to see how well she scored by singing her own song - she did do pretty darn well but missed a note or two! So yeah, a little rock n' roll was a fun addition to the show ...

... but then, the BIG gun was unleashed. I knew SOMETHING was up when Square Enix came on stage to close out the event - why save them for last unless something big was a-brewin'? Square went through the list of its upcoming titles for XBOX, mostly cool-looking but still somewhat second-tier titles that had been previously announced ... Star Ocean, Infinite Undiscovery, etc ...

... So, that's it right? Press conference over? Wait, the Square-Enix guy had one more thing to say, and oh man, it was announcement that would send shockwaves through fandom ...

... Amazing CGI footage begins to play set to a majestic soundtrack. Wait, could it be? More eye-melting footage - epic battles, amazing character-design, and that sweeping orchestral music ... and then, even before the familiar logo appeared, it was clear ...

FINAL FANTASY XIII - no longer exclusive to Sony - it would be released day-and-date on XBOX 360!

Wow.

That's a big one. That's like if NBC suddenly announced it had just snagged LOST from ABC. That is a twist that will change the face of the console wars. That's freaking huge. And yes, the Sony fanboy in me died a little when I saw that trailer. I still remember reading about how Final Fantasy 7 was switching from Nintendo to Sony consoles back in the day - and it was at that moment that I became a Playstation devotee. Sure, this time the game isn't so much jumping ship as much as it will be on TWO platforms instead of one. But wow, still, the Sony execs must be silently weeping right now. They had better have some bigtime reveals at their press conference tomorrow. I'm talking God of War 3-level huge. In any case, I think it's clear that the age of third party games being exclusive to one console are pretty much over. The first party games are what will differentiate the systems, and I think Sony can still feel pretty happy that it has the likes of Uncharted 2, Ratchet 2, God of War 3 , Little Big Planet, Infamous, etc. in its first-party arsenal. And you've got to think it's only a matter of time before we see Syphon Filter, Twisted Metal, et al.

But still ... wow. Pretty cool for my first ever E3 event! And yes, I remain a Sony loyalist at heart (an in wallet - after just having shelled out my hard-earned $$$ for a PS3) - but I still have got to plug the big MS ... go forth and download!

Blogged By the B.R.P.D. - HELLBOY 2 - Reviewed!

HELLBOY 2: THE GOLDEN ARMY Review:

- As I sat smiling through most of Hellboy 2, over and over again, my mind was blown. With eye-melting visuals, one of the best ensemble casts ever in a superhero movie, and character and creature design that brings to mind the glory days of Jim Henson, Hellboy 2 is a movie that's hard not to love. It's a movie that doesn't give a crap about being mainstream, about being the #1 movie of the summer, or about being easily-digested and then disposed of like so many mindless and soulless popcorn flicks. Instead, this is a movie with vision - finally a blockbuster Guillermo del Toro film that doesn't feel compromised - this is del Toro unleashed and gone wild. This is a movie that celebrates its weirdness, revels in its out-there premise and characters, and pushes its stylization to the extremes. What a pleasure, to watch a comic book film that is every bit as strange, over the top, stylized, and thematically bold as its source material.

I have to start by praising the visuals. Inspired by the great, atmosphere-drenched art and stories of Mike Mignola, Hellboy 2 constantly astounds with its nonstop assault on the senses. Again, this is a film that isn't afraid to be unique with its look - and the result is del Toro unfiltered and uncensored. One of the first scenes in the movie is a fairy-tale story told in the style of a puppet show on acid. From that moment on, you know that you're in for a visual treat. Later on, Hellboy and co visit the Troll Market - a bustling, busy, and jam-packed place that is not quite like anything else ever put to screen. Rarely has a scene in a fantasy film felt so much like a storybook illustration brought to life. It's a scene that epitomizes the visual artistry on display here - in the Troll Market, as in the entire film, there are so many fantastic, strange, nightmarish creatures that it really almost becomes sensory overload. But most impressively, nothing in Hellboy 2 is generic. While other films simply rehash all the usual creature designs, jsut about every character here elicits oohs and aahs. Trolls with wooden carts for feet. Elves with deathly pale skin and a regal manner. Earth elementals with a kind of majestic deadliness. "Tooth Fairies" that swarm like locusts and devour their prey. Giant monsters with chain-hooks for hands, and steampunk shocktroops with the ability to reassemble themselves in the heat of battle. In Pan's Labrynth, del Toro astonished with his brief glimpses into a visually-arresting fantasy world. Here, there's no brief glimpses - the entire movie consists of the fantasy sequences from Pan's, only even more arresting, more imaginative. With Hellboy 2, Guillermo has once again established himself as the preeminent fantasy visionary in film today.

The visuals are not merely pretty but static pictures. Most of the creature and f/x work here comes in the context of a series of pretty amazing action scenes, some of the most fun action we've yet seen this summer. Superbly choreographed and imaginatively staged, the action here is graceful, fast, furious, and non-stop. And there are tons of individual moments that are just plain cool as hell. Hellboy going mano e mano with a chain-swinging giant troll named Wink. Abe Sapien skimming backwards over a puddle of water with amphibious ease in order to avoid a potentially-deadly attack. The spectral Johann Krauss inhabiting a row of lockers in order to give Hellboy a head-slamming beatdown. I could go on and on here ...

And then of course there's the cast. It's a cast that you've really got to love, because it isn't filled with name-brand, marquee movie stars. These are simply great character actors showing once again why they rock. I mean, what can you say about Ron Perlman? The guy is unbelievable - a true titan of cinema who has no qualms about immersing himself in makeup and costumes in order to fully inhabit whatever character he plays. Perlman IS Hellboy. It's a role only he could play and it's a role in which he thoroughly kicks ass. It's a total pleasure just watching Perlman as Red - there is just that undeniable, old-time movie magic in seeing an actor become this other creature as Perlman does with Hellboy. Likewise, Selma Blair is once again great as Liz Sherman, Hellboy's pyrokinetically-gifted main squeeze. Blair just brings something different to the table - the fact that she comes off as something of an outsider in real life translates to a feeling of authenticity when she plays an outsider like Liz. You buy her as someone who's a little off, maybe even a little depressed, but who trudges on because she's in love with a giant red demon from hell who may be the best man she'll ever know.

I want to make special mention of Doug Jones - he's simply awesome as Abe Sapien here, who really shines as the surprise star of the film. Jones reprises his role as the physical actor behind Abe, but this time also does his voice, as opposed to David Hyde Pierce, who voiced Abe in the first film. The result is that Abe feels more alive, more fleshed-out, more relatable than ever before. Thanks to awesome character-design, he's flat-out cool, but man, Abe has some really memorable scenes here. He and Hellboy drunkenly crooning love songs together is simply classic. And really, it's just amazing to watch Jones physically bring to life as alien a creature as Abe. The way he moves, speaks, like Perlman, Doug Jones 100% inhabits and becomes this otherworldy creature, and it's pretty darn remarkable to see in action.

Jeffrey Tambor, well come on, he's always great, and once again does a nice job as BRPD company man Tom Manning. John Hurt also returns with a nice flashback cameo - nice enough to cancel out his embarassing turn in Indy IV. One real standout though is Johann Krauss - a fascinating new character whose visual is stunning. Essentially, Krauss is a disembodied spirit kept intact inside a ventilated diving suit of sorts. He's also an uptight German BRPD official who quickly comes into conflict with the group's resident loose-cannon, Hellboy. Krauss is amusingly voiced by Family Guy's Seth McFarlane, who really does a nice job with his funny-yet-creepy German dialect. Definitely a standout. Meanwhile, Luke Goss is suitably theatrical as the main villain of the film - he's both evil and yet affectingly tragic - always the best kind of badguy. Anna Walton also does a nice job as his ethereal twin sister as well, and there are some nice moments as a strange sort of romance develops between her and Abe.

I guess the only question is - with Hellboy 2 having such spectacular visuals and such a great cast - well, what's keeping it from being a true classic, a true cinematic epic? I guess the fact is this: it's both to the movie's credit and its detriment that in the end, it's basically a fun and breezy action film. Sure, there's a lot of heart to be found - in the relationship between Hellboy and Liz, the friendship of Hellboy and Abe, etc. - but the movie, like Part 1, still in some ways comes off as more of a roller-coaster ride than as a true, gravitas-infused drama. A number of big themes are touched on, but never explored too deeply. There's Hellboy's feelings of detachment from humanity, his beauty-and-the-beast relationship with Liz, and this big, overarching theme of how people have buried fantasy and imagination in favor of normalcy and the mundane. It's all great stuff, worthy of exploration, but sometimes the film gets a little too interested in astounding us with its visuals so that it tends to lose focus when it comes to really doing a deep dive into the weightier, meatier stuff. Don't get me wrong - I'm not saying that a movie like Hellboy necessarilly needs to go there, but in the end, that lack of real gravitas in terms of plot and character is about the only thing that separates Hellboy from the true big guns - the Star Wars, the Lord of the Rings, the Dark Knights ...

With that being said, Hellboy 2 is undoubtedly one of the great cinematic pleasures thus far in 2008. Just seeing a big action-fantasy film come out with this much imagination, this much style ... it's enough to make one reconsider the possibilities for what comic book movies, action movies, and just movies in general can be. Frankly, it's inspiring. It makes me realize that the spirit of people like Ray Harryhausen, Stan Winston, Jim Henson, and so many other pioneers of imagination lives on even in this age of CGI overload. So thanks Guillermo del Toro, Ron Perlman, Doug Jones, and the rest - for daring to be different in a cinematic landscape where too few share that desire or ability. And here's hoping that Hellboy 2 kicks some tail at the box office this weekend, because man, I'd love to see No. 3.

My Grade: A-

The Golden Age: Why HANCOCK Sucked and Why I Can't Wait For HELLBOY

And I'm back. Apologies for the lack of updates lately - it's been crazy at work this past week as we are working on a number of big things that will finally come together early next week. All I can say is this: if you're at all into videogames and/or new media, stay tuned on Monday morning!

Anyways ...

- I can't wait for HELLBOY 2. Seeing it tonight, and I can only hope that the film proves to be a resounding success at the box office. From the previews alone, the sheer amount of craftsmanship and imagination that went into the film's production is more than evident. Foregoing an excess of CGI for practical creature f/x, Hellboy 2 looks to be further proof that director Guillermo Del Toro is one of the real visionairies working in film today. I realize that a movie starring a red demon from hell and his band of mutant freaks is a tough sell to some demos, but I'm just glad that at least one comic book franchise isn't worried about toning things down and making things more palatable for a minstream audience. With Hellboy, the more out-there and outlandish, the better, and I love that this movie looks to embrace its stylized-fantasy roots rather than shy away from them. I also realize that the film could get somewhat swamped in the tidal wave of DARK KNIGHT hype, but it could also benefit as fanboys embrace it as a pre-Batman appetizer. I mean sure, DK is the main event, but I can't think of a better opening act. Stay tuned for a full Hellboy 2 review soon.

- And now I will talk about a movie that I wasn't really anticipating, and true to my expectations, it proved to be pretty underwhelming. And yet, the sad fact is that the movie made a lot of money - thanks to all the mindless drones who will line up to see pretty much any crapfest with Will Smith's name on it. And yes, I'm guilty of shelling out the $$$ for this one as well, but the reviews left me feeling really curious to see just how exactly this one went wrong. And went wrong is putting it mildly ... The movie I'm referring to, of course, is HANCOCK.

HANCOCK Review:

- Hancock is a case study in how a movie with a potentially interesting premise can go wrong. What could have been a goofy but fun summer movie instead becomes a complete mess of a film, wildly shifting in tone from one scene to another, with a script that changes its focus so many times that its hard to even describe the movie. The easy sell on Hancock is that it's a quirky, satirical take on the typical superhero story - imagine Superman if he was kind of an asshole who didn't really like helping people and had serious image and PR problems. Okay, that right there is nothing groundbreaking (numerous comic books have dealt with this scenario in the past), but hey, at least its a decent framework for a harmless and potentially funny popcorn flick. The problem with Hancock is that, as it opens, trying to be that goofy and harmless satire - it isn't funny. It isn't clever. And at some point, the producers of the film apparently realized this , because soon enough the movie stops TRYING to even be funny or cute, and decides, all of a sudden, to be a dark and brooding superhero film - complete with sex, violence, and a complex yet nonsensical backstory that comes off like the worst 90's-era Image comics crap one can imagine.

And let me just say - I honestly feel bad for any parent who took their kids to see Hancock thinking that it would be a fluffy Will Smith movie, as much of the marketing indicated. The fact is that that's just what the movie starts out as ... but rarely have I ever seen such a disasterously schizofrenic film.

And it's weird too, because I give credit to Jason Bateman and Charlize Theron, who both really give it their all in thankless supporting roles. Bateman is at first called upon to basically reprise his role as Michael Bluth, which is fine as Bateman does that kind of thing effortlessly. The one or two chuckles found in the movie are all thanks to Bateman's always-great, dryly humorous delivery. When the movie later decides it wants to be a brooding tale on par with The Matrix, however, Bateman's character quickly feels VERY out-of-place. He accepts the twist involving his wife, played by Theron, with almost comedic quickness. And yet Bateman's light-hearted character is then forced to be alternatively brooding, violent, and tragic. It just speaks to the glaring tonal shifts in the script that force the characters to become things they were obviously never meant to. A lot of this is driven by the M Night-style "twist" involving Charlize Theron. It's not really that much of a twist, because for the entire first half of the movie, the camera suspiciously lingers on Theron's housewife-with-a-secret with all the subtlety of a mack truck, completely telegraphing the inevitable shoe-dropping moment. Basically, if you don't suspect that something is up with her character after a little while, then you are likely braindead. And again, Theron does her best here - she acts the hell out of her part. But as with Bateman, what she has to work with is a convoluted and hamfisted mess.

As for Will Smith, he is charismatic as usual, but again, he is stuck with a script that never has a coherant character-arc for Hancock. The logical arc would have been for him to start out as a down-on-his-luck, ill-received superhero and eventually realize his calling and responsibility and transform into a superhero that the people can look up to. But the movie completely loses its focus and gets off-track from its original premise. You can almost see where different drafts of the script were mashed together to form one tattered patchwork of a film. It's light-hearted one minute, deadly serious the next.

And when the movie does get serious, it really becomes groan-inducing. The superhero mythology that the movie cooks up for Hancock is somehow both convoluted and vague. It never really makes any kind of sense, and never gets you invested in the character in the least. Without spoiling anything, I can just say that when Hancock's origins are revealed, they don't fit the character in the least. It's like if Superman's origin was suddenly switched with Batman's.

At least there's cool action - right? Well, not really. The action is somewhat minimal, and what action there is seems so mismatched with the actual context of the movie that you rarely find yourself invested in its outcome. The cliamactic fight scene actually pits Hancock against two horribly-acted, B-List villains from earlier in the film, and requires geeky Jason Bateman to uncharacteristically become The Punisher. The movie does at leat employ some pretty cool flight f/x, but otherwise, it looks mostly bland and uninspired. Director Peter Berg, I have to think, is capable of better.

But really, Hancock suffers most from its total cluster of a script. I can't even really tell if Will Smith is coasting in this one or doing the best he can with the material. All I know is, this is the one Will Smith movie where I would have actually *welcomed* an ill-timed shout of "aww hells no!" This movie is just depressing in its ability to take a decent premise and basically bungle it as badly as possible. Even more depressing is that it wastes potentially great performances from Jason Bateman and Charlize Theron, who give it the old college try regardless. Let's hope that Will Smith realizes what a creative failure this movie is and makes more of an effort to attach himself to better movies in the future. Hancock as is is a textbook example of a blockbuster movie gone wrong.

My Grade: C-


- Alright, have a great weekend everyone! Next week I will really ramp things up, so be on the lookout for a HELLBOY 2 review and get hyped for the beginning of DARK KNIGHT week here on the blog. Cya.

Today Will Be Our ... Independence Day! (is what I would have said had I posted on Friday!)

Welcome back, adventure-seekers, and a belated Happy 4th of July to all of you Real Americans out there. I'm back from a long weekend and back to work and back here on the blog. The long July 4th weekend was a good one - rather than try to squeeze too much into it and then feel like I had spent my weekend with all flash and little substance, I instead focused in on a few long-delayed projects that I made an effort to finish. Sure, there were a few adventures in LA, where I hung out with the NBC crew and tried to be part of cool young Hollywood. But mostly, I was content to keep things low-key.

- I FINALLY finished reading THE STAND by Stephen King. It's funny, while looking back at some old blog entries, I saw one from almost this time last year in which I talked about reading the book. It was then that I realized that, holy lord, I had been reading this book for a year and had yet to finish it. And I'm actually a fast reader too. The problem of late is that I'll rarely spend a whole evening or weekend afternoon reading like I used to, and instead I'll alternate between various books, magazines, comics, etc throughout the week and not spend a lot of time on any one thing. I'm sure there is some larger socialogical reason for this, our ADD-riddled, web-addicted society and all that. But in any case, this weekend I stayed away from IM and from my cell phone for long stretches, and let myself get immersed in the world of Stu Redman and Larry Underwood and Randall Flagg. And I finished the darn book, all 1200 pages or so of it. I can say pretty definitively that, depsite how long it took me to finish, the book has got to rank as one of my favorites. I think the primary reason is the great and memorable characters. The second is the utterly terrifying and convincing depiction of a world brought to its knees by an all-encompassing superflu. I'd even venture to say that, when the book, in its second half, gets more into the realm of supernatural fantasy, it loses a bit of its potency. But at the same time, the fantasy elements remain compelling precisely because the characters remain so grounded in reality. It's a lesson in smart characterization that has been adopted by other authors, filmmakers, and quite visibly in TV shows like LOST. In any case, I won't write a whole dissertation here on The Stand - suffice it to say, great book.

- I watched a bunch of movies this weekend, though I didn't see anything new in the theater. May eventually succumb to curiousity on Hancock, though it definitely was not a must-see for me this weekend by any means. Personally I am mostly just counting down to HELLBOY II this weekend - I really hope that people give it a shot at the box office, because it looks like this one is really going to be Guillermo Del Toro firing on all cylinders. Plus, I am so sick of the Will Smith persona. I mean, like any good American, I spent some time this weekend watching Independence Day on Fox Movie Channel, and I was reminded of how effective the classic Will Smith persona can be when the script actually calls for it to be present. The problem is when a script calls for a more multi-layered, darker, or just different type of character, and then Will Smith and the studios go ahead and throw in an "aww hells no!" or two for good measure. They dumb things down just so that Will Smith can be Will Smith. Examples include I, Robot, I Am Legend, and now, seemingly, Hancock. And it's frustrating, because we know from movies like Ali and The Pursuit of Happyness that Smith is capable of going darker and deeper with his characters - he just so often chooses to play it safe, even when the premise of the film would undoubtedly work if he were to go the less conventional route.

So anyways, some movies I watched this weekend:

- DEFENDING YOUR LIFE: I just recently watched Albert Brooks' Modern Romance. I didn't love it, but I could see the appeal of Brooks, who I wasn't that familiar with. I saw him as kind of a precursor to Kevin Smith - a comedian whose best humor comes out of conversational observation and slice-of-life portraits. If Modern Romance is Brooks' equivalent of Chasing Amy (without all the lesbian stuff, that is), then Defending Your Life is his Dogma, a satirical, almost matter-of-fact look at a particular vision of the afterlife. Although, more than anything, the movie eventually becomes a quirky romantic comedy between Brooks and Meryl Streep's character. It's funny, because I actually liked their romance, but I thought some of the satirical bits about the afterlife were pretty cheesy and often contrived. Definitely recommended though a bit uneven. Overall though I definitely liked it more than Modern Romance.

- DIRTY HARRY: Nope, I had never actually seen Dirty Harry before this weekend. Like most people, I knew the iconic dialogue, knew the basic premise, but I wasn't sure whether or not the movie would live up to its iconic status. Turns out, the movie kicks all kinds of ass. What really struck me was how simple and effectively bare bones the movie is. Nothing too fancy, plot-wise, no elaborate backstory for Harry Callahan, and no giant action or chase scenes. The movie is minimalist, but that totally works in its favor, with each shot memorable and iconic. And man, what an awesome villain is Andrew Robinson - just torally sick and twisted - rarely have I rooted so hard for the good guy to take down his prey. And of course, Clint Eastwood is just badass. I now can see why this is a classic.

- FUTURAMA - THE BEAST WITH 1,000 BACKS: I thought the first Futurama DVD flick, Bender's Big Score, was very well done and had a really interesting plotline, but somewhere along the lines forgot to bring the funny. With this second feature, I am happy to report that I was laughing often and hard. It definitely helps that perhaps the show's funniest character, Zap Brannigan, is featured pretty heavily here. We also get lots of Kif, Calculon, Wernstrom, etc, which is great, but in general it just seems like there was a much more concious effort here to litter the script with jokes. There are some great bits of dialogue, and lots of hilarious character moments as well. As a whole though, the plot felt a bit loose, and definitely more like an extended episode rather than a real movie-style adventure. It was also a little strange to me that the long-developed Fry-Leela relationship was not touched on much, although I thought Britanny Murphy was good as Fry's latest misguided romance. And David Cross was, as expected, pretty hilarious as the other-dimensional antagonist. Overall, highly recommended and man, it's just awesome to see all the great Futurama characters again. This one had a ton of cool shoutouts to past storylines and episodes as well. So yeah, not mind-blowing, but pretty exciting for fans of Futurama.

- And oh yeah, I also succumbed to the hype and purchased Guitar Hero: Aerosmith. Yes, the jaded gamer in me realizes that the game is something of a ripoff as it's basically a glorified GH3 expansion pack. But come on, it's Aerosmith, and while many a hipster music snob may diss them, they are my all-time fave rock n' roll band, and few Guitar Hero possibilities excite me as much as the idea of pretending to be Mr. Joe by-God Perry and banging out the jams, from Love In an Elevator to Walk This Way. So yeah, I walked this way and layed down some hard-earned dollars for the PS2, duel-guitar version, at least getting some pretty good bang for my buck. So on that note, it's time to sign off and rock out like the bad boy of Boston that I am. YEEEOW!

Robot Love and Assassin's Revenge: WALL-E, WANTED, and RIP to Michael Turner

- Back again after a fun weekend that took me from Woodland Hills to Beverly Hills. The main thrust of this entry is going to be two big movie reviews - WALL-E and WANTED. So keep reading for my take on two of the summer's biggest blockbusters thus far.

- Fiirst, however, I wanted to take a moment to acknowledge the passing of Michael Turner, one of the true icons of the comic book industry throughout the last several years. Turner's battle with cancer has been well-documented, and by all accounts, Turner fought the disease valiantly, still drawing, making appearances, and going out of his way to meet and mingle with fans despite his weakened condition. In fact, Turner would go through prolific spurts where it was easy to forget that he was constantly fighting for his health. His distinct art seemed to be everywhere over the last few years, with memorable runs on all manner of comics and a number of stints as cover artist, for high-profile series like Identity Crisis. As an artist, Turner was one of those guys who took flack for his liberties with anatomy, but his style was fun, and most importantly cool. Along with guys like Jim Lee and J. Scott Campbell, Turner was one of the artists who really blended traditional American comic art with a manga influence, to create a sleek and highly stylized look. It was a look that became closely associated with Turner's signature series like Witchblade, Fathom, and Soulfire, and a style that rendered versions of all the big icons, from Superman to Batman to The Flash to Wolverine. Turner helped make comics cooler than ever, helped to bring them into the 21st century, and as a professional did so with class and grace. The loss of Turner is a true loss for pop-culture, and his art will be missed.




- Okay, onto the reviews ...

WALL-E Review:

- With Wall-E, there can be no doubt: Pixar has done it again. The prolific studio's latest is a tour de force of animation and imagination, a fully-realized future universe that not only stands as one of the most visually impressive movies ever created, but also as a stunning science-fiction fable that will make a lasting impression on children and adults alike.

To be honest, at this point I am a little weary of the worship at the altar of Pixar. In the last few weeks alone, I've heard the glassy-eyed Pixar fans dutifully rank each of their films in order of preference, talk about Toy Story like it was the second coming, and eagerly analyze Wall-E's box office potential in comparison to the likes of Finding Nemo and Ratatouille. To this I say: enough! Pixar is an amazing studio, no doubt, but its most fanatical fans have a way of driving the rest of us insane with their uncritical praise and obssessive devotion. It's almost enough to drive me to look at a movie like Wall-E with a more-critical-than-usual eye, just to prove that Pixar is not, as the hype would suggest, infallible.

And yet, with a movie of the caliber of Wall-E, such pointed criticism is difficult to unleash. The movie has every bit of Pixar's typical intelligence and ambition, and yet, it's also an out-and-out crowd-pleaser. It seems to win over its audience with an unusual power that elicits comparisons to canonical greats like E.T. and Bambi. I mean, you simply can't help but be won over by Wall-E, the character. He's like E.T., Charlie Chaplin, and R2-D2 rolled into one by way of the robot from Short Circuit. Visually, Wall-E is an amazing creation. Much has been made of the fact that the film contains little to no spoken dialogue throughout its first half. Wall-E himself never "speaks" beond a few blips and beeps and mechanical words. And yet, the animators at Pixar have made the robotic Wall-E more expressive, more relatable, more *alive* than most big-screen protagonists. And obviously, that's part of the point. Thematically, Wall-E is about exploring that very phenomenon - how can this artificial lifeform be more "human" than the actual humans that we later meet? Whereas in this dystopian future, humans have fled earth and settled into a lazy and conformist and emotion-deprived existence, Wall-E, who was programmed to live exactly in that manner, transcends his pre-programmed routines and finds higher purpose, drive, and even love. Not only that, but he flexes his eyebrows with more comic aplomb than Groucho Marx, is more of a hopeless romantic than Seth Cohen, and more of a sentimental collector than John Cusack in Hi-Fidelity. Whereas the Replicants in Blade Runner were "more human than human," Wall-E is pretty much an average joe, almost an android Woody Allen, who happens to have a ViewFinder for a head.

While many will get wrapped up in the central romance between Wall-E and the sleek n' shiny fembot known as Eve (apparently in the future all robots are made with vaguely male or female yet semi-androgynous traits?), what elevates the film beyond being simply a quirky tale of robotic love is the thought-provoking futureverse which serves as its backdrop. Disney kept a lot of this aspect of the film under wraps in its marketing, so I think many were surprised to find that Wall-E is actually set in a fairly bleak and disturbing vision of the future. In this world, 700 years in the future, earth has become a junk-filled wasteland, with a small colony of humans fleeing the planet and living in oblivious lethargy in a decked-out spaceship. The people there have devolved, becoming bloated and balloon-like as they float around in personal people-movers, eyes affixed to monitors at all times, rather than each other. On their makeshift world, consumerism is religion - a computerized, omnicscient voice tells the ship's denizens to try wearing blue as opposed to red, and suddenly, in a mass behavioral shift of unquestioning conformity, everyone shifts colors so as to be one with the hive-mind. Where once the quest to make earth habitable again was a driving quest, it was now a mere afterthought - why risk the unknown when civilization could exist in a perpetual state of stagnant comfort? It is this strange new world that Wall-E navigates on his quest to reunite with his robotic soul-mate Eve. And if it seems like quite the weighty backdrop for what is on the surface, as I said, a quirky love story, well - that's because it is.

Post-apocalyptic Big Brother-controlled hive-mind societies of balloon people? In a Disney movie? Yep, it's all here, and Pixar pulls it off seamlessly. They are careful to keep all of these speculative sci-fi concepts in the background, however. And while their striking imagery stays with you, some of it will likely go over the heads of kids, and that's probably how it was intended. While the sci-fi fan in me would have liked a deeper, darker dive into all of this, the real magic of Pixar is probably that they can weave all of this stuff into a family-friendly film in such a palatable manner. They've crafted WALL-E in a way where for many, the robot love story is what will immediately affect them, but long after that initial rush has worn off, the bigger concepts begin to really sink in. I think that's why so many seem to find it hard to talk about the film until it's been fully digested, so to speak. It is certainly multi-layered, multi-tiered, with all kinds of ideas to absorb above and below the surface. From an oddly unsettling live-action appearance by Fred Willard, to the commentary on consumerism and modern malaise, to Jeff Garlin's spirited turn as the captain of the earth-colony ship, there's tons here on the periphery of the plot to examine and to take in.

Again, visually, this is Pixar at the peak of their powers. On one level, the sheer detail and texture of the CGI animation is unparallelled. Surfaces gleam, reflect light, and show age in a way we've never seen before in an animated film. On another level, this might be one of the best "directed" animated films I've ever seen. I say "one of" because, in movies like Cars and Ratatouille, Pixar continually raises the bar in this area. But here they've outdone themselves, with stunning shots of Wall-E roaming through the post-industrial wasteland that is earth, of him careening through space, and of the colorful legions of robots aboard the colonial spaceship. This is the kind of movie that will be a showcase for hi-def TV's and Blu-Ray players for years to come.

When it comes to grading this movie, I'm a little bit torn. There's no doubt in my mind that it's a landmark film, one that will be watched, analyzed, and enjoyed for a long time. At the same time, there are certainly some things that bugged me about it. The purist in me wishes that the movie, which mostly seems grounded in a harder sci-fi reality than most animated films, had a logical explanation of some kind for how these robots experienced emotion in the first place. Thematically, the reasons are obvious, but logically, it doesn't make sense. I've read reviews where the reviewer throws in their own explanation for this phenomenon, but I don't think the movie ever really addresses this. I didn't like that a movie with such an anti-consumerist message featured some pretty blatant call-outs to Apple. And I felt like there were moments in the movie that got a bit too schmaltzy, a bit too sentimental. In a movie that goes to such unexpectedly dark places, there were moments where I felt like there was a concious decision made to pull back, hit the brakes, and play it safe - to be a crowd pleaser rather than to fully explore some of the weightier concepts at play to their limits.

But the fact is - with a movie like this, the kind of complaints that I leveled above are of the type that can only really come about after viewing a truly great and monumental movie. And I don't want any annoyance with the rabid Pixar fanbase to cloud my review, because this movie is too good for that. It's often been said that the mark of true art is that which can spread its message not just to a select few, but to the masses. And it's a testament to Pixar and WALL-E that the film exerts its power over a mass-market, family audience, while still operating at a level of sophistication and depth that's uncommon for the family genre. And I think that that's what is really at the heart of my conflict over Wall-E. Because as much as we film geeks like to claim these movies as our own, the fact is - they are kids movies. Yes they have a mass appeal and an uncommon depth, but at the end of the day, if they don't appeal to children then they haven't done their jobs as films. As a twenty-something film-goer, I can find fault in a movie when it's viewed on the same plane as other adult-oriented fare. But with Wall-E, its greatness is realized most when looked at from the perspective that yes, this is a family film, but wow - its ability to filter all of these substantive ideas and concepts through that family-friendly lense - that is what's truly remarkable. The fact that I as a 25 year old can discuss and analyze and enjoy Wall-E at this level is a testament in and of itself to Pixar. I don't know if we could have that kind of discussion with even some of the older Disney classics. To that end, I can't help but give Wall-E the highest possible recommendation.

My Grade: A



- And one more ...



WANTED Review:

- Man, as great as Wall-E was, after seeing it I was squarely in the mood for something nasty, brutal, and hardcore. And that's exactly what I got with WANTED - a balls-to-the-wall comic book adaptation that features over-the-top violence, imaginatively-staged action, and a sadistic, nihilistic premise that breaks the mold of watered-down action flicks. This movie positively revels in its R-rating, holding nothing back and going for broke.

Wanted is an adaptation of the comic book series written by Mark Millar, who has a unique style that is an almost perfect match for Hollywood sensibilities. Millar tends to write books that grab you with an audacious, high-concept premise and keep you glued to the page with a violent, plugged-in, punk rock sorta attitude. While the film strays pretty far from the graphic novel in terms of plot and character, it maintains the same sort of hard-hitting, in your face attitude.

Still, if anything can be faulted with WANTED, it's that the plot can get a bit wonky. The initial premise is solid and draws you in - it's the story of a bored and depressed twenty-something office drone. Played with a great everyman quality by James McAvoy, out hero goes about his mundane life with a droopy numbness. He never speaks up to his pushy boss, never reveals to his asshole best friend that he's well aware that the guy is hooking up with his girlfriend behind his back, and never has much ambition aside from surviving each boring and thankless day. Then, one day, Angelina Jolie shows up in the kid's life, tells him that his father, whom he thought long dead, was actually living a secret life as the world's greatest assassin - until yesterday, when he was killed by a rougue member of a secret league of killers with an axe to grind. Jolie, aka the sultry assassin known as Fox, recruits McAvoy to this secret brotherhood to replace his father and eliminate his killer. The brotherhood, led by Morgan Freeman, aka Sloane, is actually part of an ancient order that subscribes to the questionable philosophy of "kill one, save a thousand."

All well and good so far, but the movie goes on to spend a bit too much time on all kinds of random seeming exposition about looms of fate and mystical weavers. I guess if anyone is fit to monologue on all of this wackiness, it's Morgan Freeman. But still, there are points in the movie where you can't help but roll your eyes a bit, even keeping in mind the suspension of disbelief levels that a movie like this requires. It's a bit like the director's earlier effort - Nightwatch - where one mind-spinning piece of backstory after another was introduced in increasingly awkward fashion. But again, this is Morgan Freeman at the helm, he could make the phonebook seem interesting.

And the good news is this: the above is really my major complaint with Wanted, but on most accounts the movie handily kicked ass. Like I said, James McAvoy was great in the lead role, and had some absolutely killer moments, especially towards the beginning of the film when he's gaining the confidence to finally tell off his boss, his friend, etc. Can we please get the petition started now to cast McAvoy as Yorick Browne in Y: The Last Man? This movie proves that he's got what it takes to play the everyman forced into an extradordinary circumstance. Morgan Freeman is Morgan Freeman, although it's tons of fun to see him seem to revel in his villainous character, in his chance to play the mean-talkin', take-no-$%#*, grizzled old badass. Angelina Jolie - please, this is the kind of part that she was born to play. Sure, as Fox she doesn't exactly get to stretch her acting ability, but Jolie has the sultry badgirl role down to perfection - if anything it's remarkable to note the similarities between her role here an in the just-released Kung Fu Panda. I mean, geez, while I'm on this track, who's with me that a Jolie turn as Catwoman in the next Batman flick could instantly erase all memories / nightmares of Halle Barry in the part. Christopher Nolan - make it happen. In addition, WANTED's Brotherhood of Assassins is filled out by all manner of crazy supporting characters that feel like sub-bosses in some whacked-out videogame. Not since Kill Bill have we been introduced to such a motley crew of over-the-top, psychopath villains.

Visually, Wanted pours it on. There's all kinds of crazy, eye-melting tricks, from long erverse tracking shots, to curved bullets, to time-bending action scenes that shift from ultra slo-mo to sped-up fast forward with wild abandon. Headshots and shattered glass have rarely been so elequently filmed. I will say that at times, the action gets so busy that it walks the line between kickass and Michael Bay-style overdone. But mostly, the choreography is a lot of fun and there are a lot of pretty brutal battles and more than a few "holy crap" moments.

And even though I ragged a bit on the plot, the dialogue is actually pretty razor-sharp during a lot of the character moments. Some of the exchanges had a real fun edge about them, with some of the best/funniest/sharpest use of profanity in any movie in a while this side of The Big Lebowski. Suffice it to say that Mark Millar's Scottish penchant for well-timed curse words seems to come through just fine in the transition from page to screen.

In the end, WANTED is pretty much just what the doctor ordered in this summer of movies that try to be all things to all people. This is a movie that starts and ends with a bang, and succeeds in its clear mission to knock you upside the head and never let up. The deeper moral and philisophical questions at play are for largely skimmed over, but that's mostly okay, because we're still left with a knockout punch of an action movie, and one that shows that there's plenty of great, outside-the-box comic book material that's ripe for adaptation. So bring on Preacher, bring on Y: The Last Man, bring on The Sandman. After Wanted, I'm ready for Hollywood to embrace the dark side.

My Grade: B+

And that's all for now -- cya on the flipside.

Live From a Cube! Movie Stuff, Fear Itself, and More.

Friday! Oh man, what a week. I am up against a wall and ready to crash. Tuesday I had the Saturn Awards (read all about it here on the blog!), Wednesday I celebrated my good friend Fowzia's b-day with some excellent Mexican cuisine. And at work, out long construction process is finally entering its second phase, and I finally moved out of the copy room (!) back into the cube-land. Generally though, I am more than ready for the weekend. For one, I'm completely psyched for Wall-E. Pixar + Robots seems to be the perfect recipe for a true classic, and the reviews so far seem to be unanimously superlative. I plan on hecking out Wall-E tonight, so check back soon for the review. And then, WANTED looks to be a pretty badass movie in its own right. Seeing as how it's a Universal picture, I get to attend a free screening tomorrow, so stay tuned for more on that one soon as well. But in the meantime, this is one of those days of drudgery ... I wouldn't mind if Angelina Jolie burst into my office and recruited me into a clandestine league of assassins sometime before 6 pm ...

- Most of all though, movie-wise, I am truly beginning to get on the hype train for THE DARK KNIGHT. Not that I wasn't super-pumped before, but seeing Peter Travers' early review this week in Rolling Stone, I am now basically salivating to see what looks to be the ultimate big-screen adventure of the Caped Crusader. Check out the review if you haven't read it:
http://www.rollingstone.com/reviews/movie/16155928/review/21477208/the_dark_knight
But wow, his opening sentance alone is enough to get the ol' adrenaline pumping: "Heads up: a thunderbolt is about to rip into the blanket of bland we call summer movies."

- And don't worry, loyal readers. In the next few weeks leading up to the next big-screen Batman, keep checking back for all kinds of special entries in order to build up to Christopher Nolan's magnum opus. Since this movie features perhaps the reatest fictional villain of all time in THE JOKER, you can bet I'll be counting down the Greatest Joker Stories Ever Told, The Greatest Joker Artists of All-Time, and The Joker's Best (and by default, Worst) Moments. Personally, I love the Joker, and I was enveloped with chills at the end of Batman Begins when Jim Gordon reveals the joker-is-wild card to Batman. "Escalation," says Gordon. Yer damn right.

- And of course, there's also an X-FILES movie coming out in a few short weeks. You'd barely know it thanks to FOX, who seems to be really dropping the ball on marketing this one. I had better see a bombardment of TV ads and movie trailers in the next few weeks, because I'm psyched for the film and would love to see it do well enough to warrant the franchis treatment. I mean, we need the X-Files alien invasion movie in 2012, dammit! So come on, step it up, FOX! The new clips that surfaced this week are pretty interesting, too. It looks like Mulder and Scully have gone their seperate ways following the series finale. I had assumed they would have lived out the last few years as a happy couple, but looks like that may not actually be the case. The cool thing about this being a standalone film though is that it should hopefully really allow for some intense character moments, without the film being overwhelmed by an overly complex plot. So rest assured, even as I'm doing my own personal X-Files marathons to prep for this long-awaited film, I'll also be filling out the blog with plenty of X goodness.

- I watched NBC's FEAR ITSELF last night, hoping that this would be the episode that really upped the ante for the so-far struggling series. All I can say is: wow, that was one strange episode. It wasn't really strange when you look at it from a macro view - actually, the overarching plot and subsequent twist was pretty familiar and even predictable. The basic premise is this: on her wedding night, a soon-to-be bride, prepping for the big ceremony, is handed an ominous note - it says: "The person you are about to marry is a serial killer." So of course, we assume that this innocent-seeming bride's groom is in fact a killer, but we also begin to wonder if this isn't all leading to some big, Twilight Zone-y twist. Is SHE the killer? Are they both killers? Neither? So this is where the episode becomes pretty absurd ... It basically becomeso ne giant effort to convince us that what we THINK will be the twist isn't, giving us one red herring after another, leading us down innumerable random tangents. We meet her groom's sinister-seeming twin uncles. We see her best friends become suspiciously possessive of her and accusatory of her groom. Are they killers? Oh, and William B. Davis, the cigarette-smokin' man himself, plays a hearing-impaired priest. And this is CSM we're talking about - of course he's going to be suspicious. Is HE a killer? Basically, this episode became a ridiculous attempt at misdirection, to the point where it was definitely straddling the line of being intentionally funny or just unintentially laughable. And when the ultimate twist WAS revealed as being exactly what everyone originally thought it would be, it was rendered all the more absurd because everything in the episode to that point had seemed to say "nope, that ISN't where we're going with this." And yet, all logic was thrown out the door so the episode could go M. Night on us. And oh yeah, there was a cross-dressing psycho killer who happens to be related to our killer thrown into the mix as well. If all this sounds like a giant cluster, it was, though it was a pretty entertaining one. Still, mildly entertaining is not good enough for a show that desperately needs a *great* episode.

My Grade: B -

- Okay, had more to talk about but I've got to jet. Stay tuned for more.

Forget Entertainment Weekly: Here's the REAL Top 100 Movies and TV Shows of the Last 25 Years

- Okay, so Entertainment Weekly last week came out with their big 1000'th issue, in which they listed the top movies, TV shows, etc. of the last 25 years. The lists caused all kinds of controversy online and amongst my friends, so I thought I'd put together my own lists of movies and television shows to take a stab and see if I could do them one better. EW obviously relied heavily on the pop-culture-influencer factor, hence movies like Clueless and Titanic making their lists ... and they also typically only gave big name directors one or at most two spots each on the list, even if luminaries like the Coens clearly deserve several spots on any legit list. But I thought it'd be fun to do my own lists, as, hey, I'm 25, it's the best of the Last 25 Years, I've seen too many movies and watched too much TV, and really enjoy making Top 100 lists. So why not? As for my lists, a few quick notes:

- I'm grouping movie trilogies in a few cases where the series is pretty much seamless.
- For TV especially, there's a lot of undoubtedly quality TV that I just haven't seen - so you won't find Buffy, Dexter, Deadwood, etc on my list simply because I haven't seen them.
- I include late night shows, but not news or sports.
- This is the last 25 years only, so nothing before 1983. I made an exception for Saturday Night Live, because it really is almost a different show year to year.
- As Abby W pointed out to me: are these "the" Top 100 movies and shows, or my picks for the "New Classics?" Well - my answer is this: there's no difference! If I say it's a Top 100 film or show, then by default it's a New Classic! This blog makes me that damn authoritative, baby!
- Okay, on with the lists - feel free to leave comments about how horrible my taste is!

DANNY'S TOP 100 MOVIES OF THE LAST 25 YEARS:

1.The Lord of the Rings trilogy
2. The Big Lebowski
3. Memento
4. Fargo
5. Unforgiven
6. Kill Bill
7. The Princess Bride
8. Mulholland Drive
9. Silence of the Lambs
10. Terminator 2: Judgement Day
11.Robocop
12. Glengary Glenross
13. Dumb and Dumber
14. Beauty and the Beast
15. Pulp Fiction
16. The Nightmare Before Christmas
17. The Lion King
18. Jurassic Park
19. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
20. Wet Hot American Summer
21. The Breakfast Club
22. Aliens
23. Gladiator
24. Wayne’s World
25. No Country For Old Men
26. The Shawshank Redemption
27. Rushmore
28. Miller’s Crossing
29. Edward Scissorhands
30. Austin Powers
31. Cars
32. There Will Be Blood
33. The Little Mermaid
34. The Crow
35. Back to the Future trilogy
36. Fight Club
37. Dark City
38. A History of Violence
39. Donnie Darko
40. Thelma and Louise
41. Saving Private Ryan
42. Malcolm X
43. The Usual Suspects
44. Seven
45. Groundhog Day
46. The Truman Show
47. Batman Begins
48. Ghostbusters
49. A Mighty Wind
50. The King of Kong
51. Munich
52. Monsters Inc.
53. The Rock
54. Blue Velvet
55. Casino
56. Hustle & Flow
57. Fletch
58. Juno
59. Reservoir Dogs
60. Aladdin
61. Amelie
62. 12 Monkeys
63. Ed Wood
64. Goodfellas
65. Spiderman 2
66. Oldboy
67. School of Rock
68. Evil Dead II
69. This Is Spinal Tap
70. True Romance
71. The Life Aquatic
72. Unbreakable
73. The Naked Gun
74. Schindler’s List
75. Napoleon Dynamite
76. Office Space
77. Big Fish
78. Hero
79. Before Sunrise
80. Dazed and Confused
81. The Royal Tannenbaums
82. The Neverending Story
83. Lost In Translation
84. Punch Drunk Love
85. Waiting for Guffman
86. Pirates of the Carribbean
87. Sin City
88. Little Miss Sunshine
89. Die Hard
90. Master and Commander
91. Finding Nemo
92. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon
93. The Assassination of Jesse James
94. Scarface
95. The Departed
96. Raising Arizona
97. Adaptation
98. Who Framed Roger Rabbit?
99. Forest Gump
100. Clerks


DANNY'S TOP 100 TV SHOWS OF THE LAST 25 YEARS:

1. The Simpsons
2. The X-Files
3. Seinfeld
4. Freaks and Geeks
5. Saturday Night Live
6. Late Night with Conan O’Brien
7. The Office (UK)
8. 24
9. Lost
10. Arrested Development
11. Futurama
12. King of the Hill
13. My So Called Life
14. Twin Peaks
15. Batman: The Animated Series
16. Veronica Mars
17. Ren & Stimpy
18. Malcolm in the Middle
19. La Femme Nikita
20. The State
21. The Daily Show with Jon Stewart
22. Millenium
23. Da Ali G Show
24. The Adventures of Pete & Pete
25. The Real World
26. Curb Your Enthusiasm
27. The Sopranos
28. Gilmore Girls
29. Star Trek: The Next Generation
30. Beavis and Butthead
31. Perfect Strangers
32. Family Guy
33. NYPD Blue
34. Flight of the Conchords
35. Andy Richter Controls the Universe
36. Family Matters
37. The Muppet Babies
38. Sliders
39. The Colbert Report
40. 30 Rock
41. Pee Wee’s Playhouse
42. In Living Color
43. Married … With Children
44. Party of Five
45. Six Feet Under
46. Da Ali G Show
47. Doug
48. You Can’t Do That On Television
49. Aeon Flux
50. Stella
51. The Late Show With David Letterman
52. Jeopardy!
53. The Critic
54. The Office (US)
55. Prison Break
56. The Kids in the Hall
57. The Cosby Show
58. Justice League Unlimited
59. Charles In Charge
60. Reading Rainbow
61. The OC
62. Space Ghost Coast 2 Coast
63. Extras
64. Pushing Daisies
65. Melrose Place
66. Mr. Show
67. Dinosaurs
68. Boy Meets World
69. Are You Afraid of the Dark?
70. Rosanne
71. Animaniacs
72. Murder: She Wrote
73. Smallville
74. Survivor
75. Beverly Hills 90210
76. The Golden Girls
77. Herman’s Head
78. The Nanny
79. Double Dare
80. Full House
81. Fraggle Rock
82. Superman: The Animated Series
83. The Maxx
84. The Ray Bradbury Theater
85. Undeclared
86. 3rd Rock From the Sun
87. Night Court
88.Dave’s World
89. Punky Brewster
90. Monsters
91. Hercules: The Legendary Journeys
92. Where In the World Is Carmen Sandiego?
93. Jack and Bobby
94. X-Men: The Animated Series
95. Salute Your Shorts
96. Hey Dude
97. Duck Tales
98. Saved by the Bell
99. Clarissa Explains It All
100. That 70’s Show

Danny Goes Hollywood at the Saturn Awards: My First Awards Show of Many To Come!

Whew.

So last night, thanks to some stuff that our department has going on with the SciFi Channel, I was able to attend the annual Saturn Awards - basically a big awards show that honors the best in sci--fi and fantasy and horror. I really wasn't sure what to expect, but at the least it was going to be interesting.

And it definitely was interesting ... The event itself had a bit of the glitz of a big awards ceremony but also felt pretty informal and intimate. It was held in a relatively small social hall in the Universal Studios Hilton hotel, and had a pretty modest stage area with two big video screens (the event itself is not televised). When we got to the event, there was a small red carpet set up outside leading into the Hilton lobby, and then a separate hall, decked out with Hellboy 2 posters and cut-outs (there's the Universal corporate presence for ya'), where a pre-awards reception was held. This part was pretty interesting, as we kind of just stood around, trying to spot recognizable celebs and trying to act cool whilst standing mere feet away from the likes of Summer Glau and Jennifer Love Hewitt, and resisting the urge to go up to the kid who plays Walt on Lost and beg him to reveal the secrets of the island. No cameras were allowed, so no pics, unfortunately. It was definitely a bit surreal though to check in and see my name slightly below that of J.J. Abrams (who was, unfortunately, a no-show).

The next part of the event was the dinner, as we filed over to our round banquet tables in the hall where the actual awards ceremony was to be held. Food was okay - salad, chicken, and cheesecake for dessert. We weren't at a table with any cool celebs or anything, just a bunch of NBCU / SciFi folks ... but that was okay, we were actually right in the front of the room so everyone walked right past our table as they were getting up on stage.

Okay, so, some cool people I saw at the awards, in no particular order (okay, maybe some particular order):

- Summer Glau (Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles)
- Dolph Lundgren (IVAN DRAGO himself! star of countless cheesy 80's actione flicks)
- Frank Darabount (director of The Shawshank Redemption, etc)
- Guillermo Del Toro (director of Hellboy, Pan's Labrynth, soon to be The Hobbit)
- Zack Snyder (dierector of 300, soon to be Watchmen!)
- Jon Voight (legendary actor, star of Deliverance and many others, father to Angelina Jolie)
- Shane Black (writer of Lethal Weapon, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, The Monster Squad, etc.)
- Ray Wise (Twin Peaks, Reaper, all-around badass)
- Damon Lindeloff (exec producer of Lost)
- Drew Goddard (writer on Lost, writer of Cloverfield)
- Tim Kring (exec producer of Heroes)
- Jeph Loeb (Heroes producer, prolific comics writer)
- Adrian Pasdar (Heroes)
- Jennifer Love Hewitt (Ghost Whisperer)
- Lindsey Wagner (the original Bionic Woman!)
- Doug Jones (Abe Sapien in Hellboy, The Silver Surfer in Fantastic Four)
- Peter David (prolific comics scribe of The Incredible Hulk fame)
- Justin Whalen (Jimmy Olsen from Lois and Clark)
- Matt Reeves (director of Cloverfield)

- As we finished up our cheesecake, the awards began with some random scenes from 2001: A Space Odyssey, an introduction from one of the Saturn Awards guys, and then the introduction of comedien Jeff Ross, who would serve as host of the show. Ross is a familiar face from a number of Comedy Central specials, roasts, etc., and he was pretty funny overall. At times, I had to groan a bit when he did Democratic Primary humor (so three months ago) and some other stale bits, but he was great when he was just off-the-cuff and spontaneous. Although, it would have been nice if he focused a little more of his humor on the movies themselves - his comedy, while funny, felt pretty detached at times from the actual awards ceremony that was taking place.

- As for the awards themselves, they are definitely a little bit bootleg in their current form. For one thing, the categories are pretty unexciting and the nominees felt way too all-over-the-place. For example, the Best Cable TV series category saw Battlestar Galactica competing with The Closer and Saving Grace, with Dexter taking the prize. Um, what? Aren't these the SciFi awards? Not only were the nominees random, but they were often pretty questionable. These must be the only awards other than the Razzies where crap like Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer and Ghost Rider (!) were actually up for top honors. When Ghost Rider is in the running for best horror film, that to me automatically makes your awards ceremony pretty sketchy and illegitimate. And some of the sketchy nominees actually ended up being winners, to boot! In many cases, it definitely appeared that whoever agreed to show up was rewarded with a trophy. Jennifer Love-Hewitt was in attendance, while most of the other best-TV-actress nominees were MIA. Guess who won the award? Now come on, would any legit awards commitee agree that J-Love was the best sci-fi / fantasy actress on TV? Anna Friel, Evangeline Lilly, Hayden Panieterre, and many others would surely take issue. And then Will Smith, of all people, won Best Actor in a SciFi, Action-Adventure, or Thriller movie for I Am Legend, beating out Daniel Day Lewis, Viggo Mortenson, and Johnny Depp. Oh-kay ... that's just wrong. None of those guys were in attendance, but Will Smith phoned-in a pretty lame acceptance speech via video in which he acted pretty condescending towards the award. Maybe it's because even he realized that he probably didn't deserve it? Summer Glau is awesome, but again, she showed up, she got an award. If these awards want to have a real air of legitimacy and prestige, they need to fix this.

Even some of the Achievement Awards seemed a bit off. Matt Reeves getting recognition for his work on Cloverfield was probably warranted. And Guillermo Del Toro is one of the best directors working today, and on his way to becoming one of the all-time great genre directors. Guillermo accepted a special award with his usual grace and humor, and was given a great introduction by the legendary Frank Darabount. But even Guillermo seemed unsure of why exactly he was getting this recognition. What was the award for, exactly? Nobody seemed to know.

- Here's what I'd recommend to the Saturn Awards as they look to expand and get more media visibility:

- Have better categories. Get rid of the action-adventure and straight drama stuff and stick to straight up scifi, fantasy, and horror. Have the big two categories simply be Best Genre Film and Best Genre TV Show. Within that have best science fiction film, fantasy film, and horror film. Have best sci-fi, fantasy, or horror TV show. Have categories for makeup, f/x, CGI work, musical score, direction, and writing. Have an award that honors one legend of sci-fi and one that honors a promising up-and-comer. Have male and female acting categories but keep it simple - Best Genre Actor for film, Best Genre Actor for TV. I'd also expand the awards a bit - have some fun with it. Best Genre Spoof. Best Comic Book Adaptation. Best sci-fi-themed licensed videogame. Best movie poster. Best viral marketing campaign. In the future, it might even be cool to expand the awards a bit into comics, books, and videogames.

- Have higher-quality nominees. It reflects badly on the whole awards show when a movie like Ghost Rider is nominated for one of the show's highest honors. Pick the great movies that the Oscars overlook, the ones that the hardcore fanboys are clamoring to see get recognized. Movies like Stardust and Grindhouse and Sunshine and Iron Man. These are the awards that should try to do right by the fans. Stop nominating or giving awards to movies and TV shows just so that one of their stars will show up at the ceremony.

- Up the flash. If a TV deal is to be struck, get bigtime presenters who love scifi and fantasy and serve as faces for genre entertainment. If you're going to do a sci-fi awards show, you have to have the whole community involved - everyone who's anyone should be there, from Spielberg to Lucas to Cameron. Stars like Robert Downey Jr., Christian Bale, Samuel L. Jackson, Liv Tyler, and Meghan Fox. The casts of Heroes, Lost, and every other bigtime genre TV show. Legends like Frank Miller, Harlan Ellison, and Ray Bradbury. Emphasize why sci-fi is cool. Capture the zeitgeist. Sci-fi is about great visuals and imagination, so make the awards shows fun and vivid and flashy. Have fun with it - have Chewbacca or Yoda come out to present. Do parodies. Get a host who knows his or her stuff and let them riff.

- Keep the base, but keep the obscure stuff limited. One award last night was given to a guy who spent 32 years writing a biblical book on Italian horror maestro Mario Bava. One was given to a guy who has built a career making robots for collectors and film sets. Pick one of these obscure guys. Honor them. But geez, don't let them take up an hour each with their speeches. At the same time - use the awards to give a state of the union of sci-fi. Build that sense of community. Pay tribute to fallen greats like Stan Winston. Honor the legends and respect the fans.


So anyways, it was a pretty cool night overall. Getting to hear people like Frank Darabout and Guillermo Del Toro speak was a real treat, as was seeing all kinds of Hollywood names from Summer Glau to Zack Snyder to Jon Voight. Plus, my ticket got me a giant giftbag loaded with DVD's, comics, and other random paraphenalia. Definitely pretty surreal, waiting in line for my giftbag flanked by the likes of Dolph Lundgren.

One of these days, when these awards are big-time and so am I, I may be up there on the stage, remembering my first brush with awards-show craziness.

- Okay, that's about it for now. I'll be back soon with more, but before I go: a fond farewell to the legendary George Carlin, a true innovator of comedy and one of the greats.

Adventures In Disneyland, Why Love Guru Failed, and MORE

What's up. Back after a fun weekend, and feeling slightly more energized than usual for a Monday. Maybe it's because of the crazy day I had at Disneyland on Saturday, which saw some friends and I practically open and close the park?

First off, thanks to Seth E for providing free tix to Disney - and not only were the tickets free, but they were also good for entry into not just the main park but to California Adventure as well. I'd never been to CA Adventure before, and even if it is a somewhat odd mix of traditional amusement park-style rides and Disney rides imported from the various Disney World parks, it was cool to check it out, even if only for the new Toy Story ride, which was pretty sweet. The ride is pretty similar to Buzz Lightyear, except much better in that thanks to some nifty "4-D" technology, you play a variety of carnival-style shoot-em-up games where you can actually see the virtual objects you fire on the screen in front of you. The effect is pretty fun overall. I also went on the Finding Nemo ride for the first time - nothing spectacular but cool in that you get to ride around in a submarine. I think my favorite part of the day though may have been just sitting and watching all the kids participate in the Jedi Academy training thing over in Tomorrowland. The looks on their faces as they get called up to do battle with Darth Vader is just hilarious and priceless, and I can only imagine the joy a young me circa 1989 would have had at the opportunity to trade lightsaber blows with cinema's greatest villain. All in all, a fun if not extremely exhausting day. By about 10 pm on Saturday, I had hit a wall from which I would need all day Sunday to recover. I guess when you go to Disneyland with a couple of hardcore Disney afficianados like Seth and Kyle O, there is no rest for the weary. Seriously, those guys could start a Disney blog. But anyways, it was good times at Disneyland, and the pics are all up on Facebook.

One interesting observation about Disneyland, which I may have noted before ... is that its interesting just how relatively "dark" the classic attractions like Pirates of the Carribean and the Haunted Mansion are, especially when you look at them in comparison to newer rides based on Pixar flicks, etc. It's strange to me that Disney has never really tried to emulate either of those two rides with a third or fourth attraction that take you on a similar journey through some other pulp fiction staple. I think some of the rides over in Florida, at Epcot and MGM, have that same style of animatronic magic (Universe of Energy, the Great Movie Ride, etc.), but at Disneyland in particular, rides like Buzz Lightyear seem positively candy-coated compared to the foreboading, cavernous journeys into the heart of darkness that some of the older rides offer. Those rides positively bleed atmosphere, and its something that to me is missing from some of the newer attractions. Look at the Finding Nemo ride - the cramped submarines and mysterious underwater setting at first suggest the ride's original, pulpy theme of 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea. To then encounter cute, CGI fish is a bit of a strange juxtaposition, to say the least. In theory, Star Tours offers up that same blend of pulp sensibilities and Disney magic - it is simply handicapped by its outdated technology. It makes you wonder what would have happened had Lucas and Disney created an animatronic Star Wars-themed ride that was more classical in style and less reliant on soon-to-be-obsolete technical wizardry. It's interesting, because to me the main highlight of Star Tours to me, at this point, is all of the little detail that surrounds the ride, with the motion simulator ride itself now being a mere detour. It goes to show what stands the test of time as opposed to what doesn't.

One other trend in rides which I hope has had its day: jerkiness. For example, the Indiana Jones ride. IS this ride really any better thanks to all of its constant bumps and jerks? To me, the bumps just distract you from admiring the scenery and from feeling immersed in the ride. They seem artificial and not an organic part of the experience. To me, I'd much rather that a ride give you a smooth yet still exhilirating experience that compliments its storyline rather than overload on the shakes.

- Alright, enough about Disney ... on to some other stuff ...

- Well, for once I was right in my movie box office predictions - Get Smart handily whooped The Love Guru. To me though, this one was pretty inevitable. Mike Myers is riding a wave of negativity, and there was simply no escaping it as the movie opened - thanks to bad previews and worse reviews, Myers was handicapped from the start on this one. Myers' brand of comedy isn't yet dead, I don't think, but it definitely is on life support. I think part of the problem is that the Pitka character really did not capture any kind of cultural zeitgeist. It came too much from Myers' own internal experience. With Wayne Campbell - it hit one something. A certain kind of post-80's wannabe suburban rocker. There was something there, that hint of truth. Dieter touched on our perception of strange European cultures. Linda Richman was the verklempt Jewish mother we all know. Even Austin Powers - it hit on something in pop culture, and was a brilliant satire of 60's psychedelia and camp, from Batman to James Bond to the Beatles. It hit a nerve. But what is the Love Guru? The character doesn't even vaguley resemble anyone familiar in real life or in pop culture. It seems to come out of some extremely obscure place in Mike Myers' experience with Deepack Chopra and eastern philosophy - but there's no anchor to it, nothing that makes it familiar or relatable. I mean - look at Adam Sandler as Zohan. Do most people fully get the Israeli satire? No - but you can feel that there is an accuracy in the parody, and it's what helps make the character funny. Even Borat - the character is a patchwork of all kinds of foreighner stereotypes, and it comes together into a brilliant blend - it's what Sascha Baron Cohen is so brilliant at doing. But at some point, Mike Myers went too deep into himself, and lost touch with the world around him. I hope he can get out of it and come back with another truly great movie or character that resonates rather than falls flat. Or if all else fails, then dammit all, just make Wayne's World III. Schwing!

- Alright, I think that wraps things up for today. Seth, I'll be expecting my free lunch soon ...

30,000 + Hits and Still Goin' Strong!

30,000 hits, baby!

Just want to take a minute on this Friday night to say thanks to everyone for reading. Keep the hits coming, as always feel free to leave comments, and hopefully someday soon we'll be up to 100,000!

As I write this, I just got back from a great dinner at Miceli's restaurant near Universal Studios. The one and only Kirsten S. is in LA from the Land Down Under, where women glow and men plunder (as they say), along with her Aussie companion. Me, Seth, and fellow BU alum Nolan R met up for some good food and fun, and it was great catching up.

And guess who we saw dining at Miceli's with some sort of special lady friend? In what has to be one of the greatest celeb sightings in recent memory, none other than Dustin Diamond, aka SCREECH freaking POWERS from Saved By the Bell (and of late notorious for going bankrupt, being a celeb boxer, and making a hardcore porno movie), strolled past our table!!! SCREECH! Gotta love LA, baby.

Oh, and that reminds me - the other day at work, on Tuesday, none other than JEWEL was performing an outdoor concert at Ther Tonight Show which employees were invited to attend. I went to check it out, and not only was I treated to and up close and personal view of the sultry singer, but I also got to see the other guests who had appeared on that edition of The Tonight Show. After Jewel's first song ("I Do," a pretty solid tune, by the way), Jay brought out comedy legend Don Rickles - pretty cool - and then ... the entire INSIDE THE NBA team. Yes, right there in front of me was the legendary lineup of Ernie Johnson, Kenny "THE JET" Smith, and one of my all-time personal heroes and my all-time fave NBA player ... CHARLES BARKLEY!!! I was shocked and amazed at this turn of events - I mean, awesome!

On a sidenote, while it was awesome to see an old friend today in Kirsten, prior to dinner I stopped by Universal Citywalk, specifically dueling piano bar Howl at the Moon, to wish Paul L. farewell as he heads back east and leaves LA for Boston. As one of the few guys I know who can participate in unironic analysis of professional wrestling, I wish Paul the best of luck in his new Beantown digs.

So you might be wondering, what's a bigtime Hollywood player like myself doing writing a blog on a Friday when the night is still young? Well, bright and early tomorrow, a bunch of us are heading down to Disneyland for a day of fun and Disney magic. Should be quite the day, especially since it will be close to 100 degrees. Yikes.

But once again - thanks for reading. 30,000 hits and this is just the beginning. Hopefully there will be many all-new and all-awesome adventures to come.